Copyright © 2019 by Callie Anderson
All rights reserved.
No part of this book may be reproduced in any form or by any electronic or mechanical means, including information storage and retrieval systems, without written permission from the author, except for the use of brief quotations in a book review.
This book was originally published under the CONSENSUAL SERIES. It has since then been re-edited and changed to a new story.
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To Sharon,
You had my back four years ago, and you still have it now.
Thank you my friend.
Contents
Prologue
1. Katherine
2. Cole
3. Katherine
4. Katherine
5. Katherine
6. Cole
7. Katherine
8. Katherine
9. Katherine
10. Cole
11. Katherine
12. Katherine
13. Katherine
14. Cole
15. Katherine
16. Cole
17. Katherine
18. Cole
19. Katherine
20. Katherine
21. Katherine
22. Katherine
23. Katherine
24. Katherine
25. Katherine
26. Katherine
Redemption
Also by Callie Anderson
Prologue
I could smell him before I heard him.
The stench of cheap whiskey and meat lingered around him, and I hated it. Hated him.
The bedroom door creaked open, as it had almost every night since my mother brought home husband number three. My father skipped town when I was only four years old and, after that, she seemed to marry any man willing to take us both in. Even if it meant he took her daughter’s innocence at the tender age of ten.
That night—like every other night when he opened my door—I prayed my mom would hear him. But the Valium she popped in her mouth with a glass of boxed wine made it impossible.
I closed my eyes and waited for him to pull down the sheets. I’d never had the courage to look at him, but the thought of him near me made the bile in my stomach rise. His calloused hand ran along my arm and cupped my breast. I had finally hit puberty, and my B-cup sized breasts were where he always started. His favorite, he said once.
I turned toward the wall as tears moistened my eyes. It would be over soon. He never needed more than eight minutes.
It was dark outside, but dawn was coming. Only a few short hours before the light chased away the darkness and all the misery that accompanied it. The sound of crickets chirping outside my bedroom window punctuated the silence inside our small, two-bedroom house. The music coming from their wings should have helped calm me, but it only served as the eerie background track to my recurring nightmare.
I held back my tears, hating that I cried every time he touched me. A fourteen-year-old shouldn’t know what rape was, or how true hatred felt, but I hated him. Loathed him with every breath I took.
He didn’t speak as his hand moved down my body as the other slid into his pants. Some nights were like tonight, petting, groping, his hand on my most sensitive area as he stroked himself. Other nights, the nights he fought with my mother, the night he had too much to drink—
Those nights were worse than any nightmare.
It would be over soon.
1
Katherine
Ten years later.
I’d spent the last four hours tidying up the kids’ playroom. Babysitting three little monsters was never the highlight of my week, but needing cash came with a price. Luckily this was my last day, and as much as I loved Emily, Brian, and Noah, I was thrilled to have my weeknights and weekends back to myself.
Placing the last section of plastic train track back in the toy bin, I stood and surveyed the room once more. Every toy was tucked away even though I knew the kids would destroy it all again within a matter of minutes.
“Oh, well.” I shrugged and walked out. That was now Kim’s problem. She was the new au pair Sarah hired. I’d spent the last two years working for her, but she needed more full-time help, and that was time I couldn’t give her. I was a week from finishing my second semester of law school, and if all went well, I’d be starting a new internship on Monday.
In the kitchen, I looked over the agenda one last time to make sure I’d added everything to it. The front door burst open, and Kim walked in carrying three bags of groceries, followed by the three adorable Smith kids, each carrying a small grocery bag of their own. As they entered the kitchen, the three kids dropped their bags, ran toward me, and hugged my legs.
“Hi, guys!” I kneeled down and bear hugged Noah, Brian, and Emily. “I’m going to miss you.”
“Kat,” Emily squealed when my fingers started tickling her.
“Katherine, I hope you weren’t waiting long for me,” Kim said as she plopped her grocery bags on the kitchen counter. Noah and Brian locked their arms around my neck, bringing me down to the floor with them as they defended their little sister against the tickle monster.
“No, I’m just double checking to make sure I didn’t forget anything.” I giggled as I dislodged the kids from my limbs. “Go wash up for dinner,” I told the kids, and they scampered toward the bathroom as I helped Kim put away the groceries.
“Sarah mentioned you’re done with school,” Kim said, taking vegetables from my hand.
“Well, I’m done with the semester. I have a few more finals, and then I’m off until September. It’ll be weird to finally have some time for a normal life.” It had taken a whole extra year since my first year of college consisted of recreational pills and bad decisions. It wasn’t until my sophomore year that I met Lila, and she whipped my ass into shape.
“You’ll be a great lawyer one day. You’re such a hard worker. A great nanny. These kids listen to your every word.” She gestured to the three little people making their way back into the kitchen.
“I’ve had years of practice with them. They’ll do the same for you, don’t worry.” I gave her a reassuring smile as I grabbed my purse from the counter.
“I have big shoes to fill,” she joked.
Kissing each of the kids’ heads, I said my goodbyes. “Now, be good listeners for Kim, and I’ll talk to you soon.”
I strolled out of the Smith’s high-rise apartment and into the brisk air. Early spring in New York City meant the weather could be either close to seventy or close to thirty degrees, depending on how Mother Nature was feeling.
I’d moved to New York with my best friend and roommate Lila right after we finished college. After graduating top of our class at Northeastern University, we packed up our dorm room and headed for the real world. Lila’s grandmother had a rent-controlled, two-bedroom apartment in a brownstone on the Upper East Side. When we both decided that New York was where we wanted to move, she kindly rented it to us. It wasn’t big by any means, but it was cheap and perfect for us.
Nowadays, Lila and I barely saw each other. She’d recently started her internship at Memorial Hospital and was rarely home because of the demanding on-call hours, which made her an easy roommate. She was also one of the few people who knew about my past—the whole truth.
My body was weary as I stumbled into our apartment and crashed on the couch. It was only eight o’clock on a Friday night, but all I wanted to do was sleep. It seemed Lila
had other plans for the evening, however. Her stereo was blasting in her bedroom. It reminded me of college, as we got ready to go out for the night.
“Kat, is that you?” she shouted from the bathroom.
It was pointless to shout over the radio, so I got up and walked over to her bathroom. “Yeah, I just got in,” I said, peeking my head through the door. She was dressed in a shiny tank top and high-waisted shorts, which made her supermodel-length legs seem even longer.
She applied blush to her flawless skin before turning to me. “Go get ready. Caleb is in town and we’re celebrating tonight. Energy drinks are in the fridge, and there’s a dress on your bed waiting for you. Oh, and something came in the mail for you. I left it on the kitchen table.”
I walked into the kitchen and found the letter I had been waiting for all month. At the end of each semester, Professor Goldstein selected one student to mentor. That student would be working hands-on with his legal cases. It would mean an opportunity to work for one of the most prestigious law firms in the entire Tri-state area.
He’d made it very clear during his last class that he only sent one letter—one approval letter, no denial letters. I picked up the envelope and gently tore it open. As I read it through, I jumped with excitement. All the exhaustion I felt vanished from my body. I had been picked to assist Professor Goldstein on all his cases this spring and summer.
"Lila!” I bellowed.
“Yeah?”
“I got the internship!” I jumped up and down.
“I know!” She squealed. “Now go get ready. Caleb and the guys are waiting for us.”
Feeling the need to truly celebrate my accomplishments, I took two energy drinks from the fridge and headed toward my bedroom. I chugged the first drink before I even walked into the shower.
Lila had laid out a tiny Dolce & Gabbana dress on my bed with a small note attached to it.
Congrats, Kitty Kat! Caleb insisted I get it for me, but it totally belongs on you. Knock ’em dead.
Caleb, Lila’s on-again, off-again boyfriend, was the most wanted trust fund baby on the East Coast. He had moved to New York a few years ago to be closer to her. She told everyone it was because he was in the process of opening a fancy new restaurant but I disagreed. He was in love with her that I was certain of, but she wasn’t the commitment type—go figure. She did, however, have great taste in fashion.
The dress was a skintight little black dress cut right below my butt cheeks. I didn’t have long legs compared to Lila, the Asian French beauty, but they were long enough to complement the dress. I wiggled into it, slid on my black peep-toe shoes, and then curled my long blonde hair, pinning a few tendrils away from my face before applying my makeup.
I felt extremely sexy.
I finished the rest of my second energy drink, adding a bit of vodka in it while I danced to the music playing from Lila’s room. The approval letter sat against the mirror on my dresser, and as I got ready, I couldn’t help but stare at my new beginning. Years of hard work, long hours, and sleepless nights had finally paid off. That piece of paper was my first step toward my legal career. It was the right direction to letting go of the past and moving forward. And tonight we were going out for drinks to celebrate that new beginning. I’d kicked the old habits, stopped with the pills and meaningless one-night stands, and now I was finally getting my life in order.
* * *
After Lila started med school and I started law school, our nights out were few and far between. Still, whenever we did party, we liked to do it right. Quay was the new hot spot in Midtown, known for having a spectacular restaurant and lounge atmosphere, and tonight it was packed.
I checked my watch as we waited outside with the crowd for Alexa and Benjamin to meet up with us. Alexa had been Benjamin’s roommate before she moved in with her boyfriend. She was studying to be a fashion designer, so she always knew when there was a sale and what the next must-have look would be. Benjamin was a model whom Lila met during a college photography class. She’d brought him around once during our junior year, and we quickly became the best of friends. He was Latin, tall, muscular, and would be any girl’s wet dream if he were interested, which he never was. He played for the other team, but that was a secret we all kept, as Ben wasn’t ready for the world to know who he really was. He needed time to figure it out, but everyone would love him regardless of his sexuality—it was impossible not to.
When they finally arrived, Lila gave her name to the bouncer. One call to Caleb from Lila and we were royalty for the night at any restaurant, club, or VIP event.
“The party is upstairs,” the bouncer said as he pointed to the staircase on the left side.
“Party?” I asked.
“Yeah. Caleb invited a few of his friends for a night out since his opening night at Kitchen Step is next week.”
We were ushered up the stairs and through the doors, passed off to a hostess, and then a waitress sat us in the VIP section. Three bottles of champagne, a bottle of vodka, and plates filled with salted caramel chocolates and savory puff pastries were positioned in front of us.
“As per Mr. Garretson’s request. If you need anything, please let us know,” the waitress told us before she walked away.
“Where’s Caleb?” Ben asked.
Lila shrugged. “He’ll be here. He’s probably catching up with his friends. I know he hasn’t seen Rhodes in a few years. But forget him, let’s drink.” She poured the champagne in four glasses.
We each took a champagne flute and raised them in the air. “Congrats, Katherine!”
I took a sip of my champagne, letting it trickle down my throat, and placed the flute onto the table. “Let’s dance!” I shouted over the music. We’d had a couple of drinks before we left the house, so my body was itching to get on the dance floor.
Lila led us to the small VIP dance floor, and we each took turns dancing with Benjamin. Between his looks and his moves, he had every girl in there wanting a turn. I couldn’t help but laugh. When Ben saw a group of his coworkers, he kissed my forehead and mouthed, I’ll be right back. I nodded and swayed my body to the rhythm.
I danced until my feet throbbed, enjoying the pain as I reminded myself why they hurt. “Caleb!” Lila said over the loud bass and threw her arms around him. His lips crashed into hers as he held her by the waist. He whispered something in her ear, and she giggled. Lila, my best friend, the one who was afraid to commit to a man who loved her, was giggling at his words.
“Thanks for coming,” Caleb said when he pulled away from Lila and gave me a small hug. “And I hear congratulations are in order.”
I shrugged not wanting to take away from their moment together.
“Soon you’ll be giving Rhodes a run for his money.”
With my throat dry and my glass empty, I lifted my glass to them and nodded toward the bar. “I’ll be back!” I shouted, and they both nodded. Lila could drink champagne all night. The sweetness, however, would give me a headache.
The bar was crowded, so I scooted between two men who had their backs to each other and waited to get the bartender’s attention. She patrolled the bar, pouring a few drinks before she headed my way. Then she passed right by me to talk to the gentleman next to me, never once looking in my direction. I looked down at his full drink. He didn’t need anything from her, but I understood why she devoted her time to him. I didn’t come from wealth, but I knew designers, and this man stood in a crowded club wearing a four-thousand-dollar suit. Quickly, I glanced him over. He wore perfectly tailored designer suit pants, which hugged his ass and sculpted legs. His fitted, light-gray shirt wrapped around his trim torso and arms as though it was custom-made. He was tall and handsome, from the side at least, and totally fuckable.
My eyes moved to his hand that cupped his glass. He had large, manly hands—the kind of hands that looked sexy on a naked body. My favorite. He looks like the kind of guy who'd give me that up-all-night-making-my-body-ache-so-I-can-no-longer-walk-the-next-day kind of sex.
I closed my eyes for a brief second as I tried to calm my raging hormones. I wasn’t that girl anymore. I had kicked that habit. When I reopened them, he was staring right back at me.
Fuck me.
He wasn’t sexy. No, that word wasn’t enough to describe what this man was. He was an alluring come-hitter, as Lila would call him—guaranteed to make you come every time he hit it. It was dark, so his facial features were hard to make out, but from his strong jawline, I could tell he was my type. He smiled, and as the light at Quay changed, I noticed his light eyes scanning me from head to toe. My body ignited with desire.
Don’t do it, Kat.
“May I buy you a drink?” he offered in what I thought was a European accent. British maybe? French? Scottish? His velvet voice would make any girl melt.
I inhaled deeply, trying to calm my rapid pulse. I was in control. I was not that old Kat anymore. There was no need to sleep with men to believe I was worthy.
“No, thanks.” I lifted my hand to grab the bartender’s attention but, utterly oblivious to anyone at the bar who didn’t have a penis between their legs, she walked away when a guy across the bar shouted for her. Sighing, I waited impatiently.
“Come on, a beautiful woman like you stands next to me out of every other guy in the bar, so the least I can do is buy you a drink, ” he insisted. “What do you want?” He inched closer, and I fought the urge to go there. His voice did things to me, and it would be so easy to fall back to my old ways. A lick of my lips, a gentle touch to his arm, a few short sentences that would have me walking out of here with him tonight.
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