by SUE FINEMAN
The front door was unlocked. He walked in quietly and went upstairs to the room they’d shared for the past few weeks. Sure he’d find her in tears, he was surprised to hear her talking to herself.
“…thinks he can find a better wife than me, but I’m not the only woman on the planet who can’t conceive a baby. If he marries someone who doesn’t get pregnant, what’s he gonna do, divorce her and marry someone else, like ole King Henry the Eighth? And what if she gives him a daughter, when he wants a son? What then? Will he find himself another wife?”
He stood just outside the doorway, listening to her talking to herself and throwing things at her suitcase. She wasn’t crying now.
Kayla was angry.
“Good thing I don’t have Leonard’s guns with me, because I’d—”
He walked into the room. “Shoot me?”
She threw a shoe at him, and he reached up and snagged it with one hand.
“You never wanted me, you bastard. You used me like I was a hooker you picked up down on the street corner.” She shook a shoe at him while she talked. “Well, let me tell you, buster. If I’m not good enough for you, you shouldn’t have touched me in the first place.”
“Did I say you weren’t good enough?”
“I know I’m damaged goods.” She threw the shoe at the suitcase with enough force that it bounced out and hit the wall. “Don’t you think I want kids, too?” Her voice broke, and he knew she was on the verge of tears again. “I want a baby so much it hurts every time I see Georgia’s belly. I want to hold my child and love it and watch it grow into a fine man or woman. But it won’t happen unless I marry a man who already has children.”
She dumped a drawer out on the bed. “So you see, I’ve decided to move on, to find a man who already has kids. It’s the only way I’ll ever get to be a mother.”
“Kayla, honey, I’m sorry.”
She swiped at her face. “You go out and find yourself a wife who can give you babies, and I’ll find myself a husband with kids. Or maybe I won’t get married at all. Maybe I’ll adopt kids on my own.” She nodded. “Yes, that’s what I’ll do. I’ll adopt.”
She finished packing one suitcase and zipped it. “You’ll have to finish the painting yourself, but then you’ll have plenty of time without me here to distract you.”
He walked closer. “Honey, don’t go like this.”
“I should have left when I got my inheritance, but I thought you needed me.” Tears streamed down her face. “I was wrong. You don’t need me for anything but sex, and you’re not getting that again. No sir!”
He put his hand on her shoulder and she shook it off. “Don’t touch me. Leave me alone to finish packing.”
“Where are you going?”
“What do you care?”
“I care, honey. I care.” Didn’t she know she was breaking his heart? Yes, she knew, because he’d broken hers.
“If you stay, I’ll marry you.” The words came out without thought, but once spoken, he knew that was what he wanted. He wanted to marry her, to hold her and love her for the rest of their lives. They’d figure out a way to have kids.
Instead of falling into his arms, she turned on him. “Get out of here,” she said in a low, angry voice. “Get out of my sight before I tear your head off. I’m nobody’s charity case, Billy Kane, and I won’t have you treating me like I am.”
She picked up another shoe, and he backed out the door before she threw it at him.
Billy wasn’t sure what to do to make things right, but one thing was certain. They couldn’t talk about anything when she was so angry.
Sinking to the floor outside their bedroom, he waited for her to finish packing and come out. They needed to go back to Georgia’s birthday party before she figured out something was wrong, but he had to wait until Kayla calmed down. He’d never seen her so upset.
Kayla finished packing and carried her suitcases to the bedroom door before she saw Billy sitting there on the floor looking sadder than Buford on bath day. “What are you doing down there?”
He looked up. “Waiting for you.”
“Don’t you look at me with those puppy dog eyes, Billy Kane.”
“It’s the only eyes I have.”
“You know what I mean.”
“Why don’t you stay in the room? I’ll move back to the study, and I’ll sleep down there until… until—”
“Until I come to my senses?”
He smiled hopefully.
“I lost my senses the minute I stepped inside this house.” Actually, it was the minute she saw his wide shoulders propped against the doorway of the pool house. What she wouldn’t give to be able to give him those children he wanted. But she couldn’t. She’d known all along it could be a problem between them, but hearing Billy say the words hurt as much as hearing it from the doctor ten years ago.
“Georgia needs you, Kayla. I need you, too, but that doesn’t matter right now. Georgia will want you by her side when she gives birth, and she’ll need help with the baby when she comes home from the hospital.”
Kayla dropped her suitcase and sighed. He was right. No matter what went on between her and Billy, Georgia would need someone to help her, and she couldn’t count on her mama.
“Damn you, Billy.”
“We’d better get back to the party before Charlie and Andy eat all the birthday cake.”
She cocked her head. “How did you get here?”
“Walked.”
She slowly shook her head. He’d walked all the way from Hannah’s house to try to talk her out of leaving him, when they both knew it was time to end it. Loving him wasn’t enough, and she didn’t have anything else to give him but love. She was an uneducated hillbilly and he was not only well-educated, he taught others. She’d been married twice, both poor choices, and he’d never made that kind of commitment. He wanted a family, kids of his own, and she couldn’t give him babies. And right now, she didn’t feel five years older. She felt a lifetime older.
“I’ll move down to the maid’s room until I figure out what to do, but my bed is off-limits to you, buster. Got it?”
“Got it.” He hung his head. “I really ruined things between us, didn’t I?”
“No, I ruined things when I let myself fall in love again. I should know better by now. I always manage to pick the wrong men.”
The first two cheated on her.
This one broke her heart.
<>
Billy couldn’t sleep that night. His bed felt empty without Kayla.
Since he couldn’t sleep, he decided to go downstairs and get something done. There were still a dozen or so tapes he hadn’t looked at yet. Most were boring business deals or pictures of Eleanor at the mental hospital, and he usually fast-forwarded through those. But every now and then he found something interesting.
The first tape he picked up was labeled Monica. Hannah called her Monique, but she was called Monica when she had Maggie. As he watched the tape, Billy realized William had taped this one without her knowledge.
She said, “I want fifty thousand for it.”
“How do I know it’s mine?”
“Oh, it’s yours all right, and if you don’t pay me, I’ll go to your wife.”
“She isn’t well.”
“Tough. You should have thought of that before you raped me.”
“I didn’t rape you.”
“You raped me, and I’m only fifteen years old.”
“You told me you were nineteen, and I paid you two hundred dollars that night.”
“It’s still statutory rape, because I was under age. You should have known better.”
So Monique or Monica was an underage prostitute and a con artist even then. No wonder Hannah didn’t have anything to do with her.
He remembered the last time he saw Monique. It was before Dad and Hannah married, before the twins were born. She’d come to the house on Livingston Avenue to mooch off Hannah. Then she forged Hannah’s signature on a power of attorney and trie
d to sell the house to a local real estate broker. When Hannah found out, she was livid, and Billy didn’t blame her. A few days later, Monique was picked up for something else, and she ended up in prison in another state for attempted murder.
Watching the tape, he finally understood what happened. William didn’t offer to buy the baby, because he had a mentally ill wife. So the teenage tramp went to Eleanor and sold her a baby girl.
The next tape confirmed what he suspected. Eleanor stood in front of William’s desk and said, “Monica is moving into the house until she has the baby, and then she’s leaving the baby with us.”
“No, Eleanor,” said William. “That’s not a good idea.”
“I want that baby.”
Eleanor walked out of the room and Monica walked in with a suitcase. She spoke to someone over her shoulder. “Bring in my other bags and put them in the guest suite. I’ll be staying for a few months.”
William stood, partially blocking the camera. “I don’t want you here.”
Monica smiled and rubbed her stomach. “If you don’t let me stay, I’ll go to the police and tell them you raped me and won’t take care of me in my time of need. And then I’ll have an abortion. I’ll kill your baby.”
William dropped into his chair, defeated. Monica gloated and turned to a voice behind her. “Yes, that’s fine. Go ahead and unpack for me.”
The tape ended, and Billy felt sorry for his grandfather. William didn’t want Monica there and he didn’t want his wife to get her hands on another baby, but he didn’t have much choice but to let her stay until the baby was born.
Billy walked around the study and library, looking for the hidden cameras, but he couldn’t spot them. Maybe Dad or Trevor could. They’d be here tomorrow to help install the new front door.
He went through the rest of the tapes labeled Monica and put them aside. It was one-thirty in the morning, and he was beat. He’d finished the work on the porte-cochere this morning, painting the ceiling and posts. It looked pretty good, and it didn’t cost as much as he thought it would. Replacing the front door would also improve the look of the front of the house. Why would anyone want a drawbridge-looking front door? Did his ancestors think the house resembled a castle? He’d never seen pictures of a castle that ugly.
He stretched, turned off the VCR, and went upstairs to bed.
Alone.
<>
Dad and Trevor came over Saturday morning to help Billy install the new front door and the fancy etched glass panels around it. As they worked, Billy told them about the videos he’d watched last night. “Apparently William had some hidden cameras in the study, but I have no idea where to look.”
As soon as they finished the work, Trevor glanced around the study. “I’d put one here.” He pointed to the corner across from the desk. “And there.” This time he pointed to the shelf behind the desk. “That way he’d get coverage from both angles.”
Dad stood on a chair and poked around behind the desk. “No camera, but there’s an electrical connection back here.”
Trevor examined the other corner. “There’s one here, too, but there’s no camera. Looks like someone removed them, Billy.”
Did William do that, or had someone else come in here and stripped out the cameras?
Why would they do that? What was on them?
Dad and Trevor left, and Billy touched up the paint around the new front door.
Kayla had gone out to work in the back garden this morning. She was still out there, weeding and sprucing up the landscaping.
She was avoiding him, and it left an ache in his heart that wouldn’t go away until she forgave him for being an insensitive jerk.
Billy looked over to see Buford rolling in the fresh dirt of the flower bed Kayla had just finished weeding.
“Aw, Buford,” she said. “What are you doing?”
He woofed, a soft sound that said, Leave me alone, I’m having fun.
She brushed off her knees and walked toward the house, and Billy knew that ole hound was getting a bath whether he wanted one or not.
Billy met her at the door with the shampoo and two old towels. “I’ll catch him.”
She glanced back at Buford rolling in the dirt and then back at Billy. “Go right ahead.”
Billy chased that stupid dog all over the yard. Buford teased him and then slipped away time after time, until Billy dropped to the grass and the dog ambled over and sat just out of reach. “Think you’re smart, don’t you, Buford?”
Kayla crossed her arms. “Are you done playing with the dog now?”
“I was catching him for you.”
“Uh huh.” She called, “C’mon, Buford, time for your bath.”
To his surprise, Buford walked over, tail wagging, and stood quietly while she washed him and sang, “How much is that doggie in the window?” Buford lifted his nose and sang along. He shook, spraying them both with soap bubbles.
“Hold still until I get you rinsed off.” She rinsed him with the hose. “Okay, now you can shake.”
Buford shook hard, and Kayla gave him a lecture about playing in the mud. “You stay out of the flower beds and out of the mud or we’ll have to do this all over again. Billy doesn’t want a muddy dog in his house. Bad enough you have to smell like a hound dog.”
Billy shook his head in wonder. He’d tried to catch the dog for his bath, but nobody needed to catch him. Kayla called and he came. “If I roll in the mud, will you give me a bath?”
She lifted her chin. “You want a bath?”
“If you’re giving it.”
She turned the hose on him, and he heard Georgia laughing. She’d been watching the whole thing, from a distance. She had enough sense not to get too close. He tackled Kayla and threw her in the pool, clothes and all. Next thing he knew, someone pushed him and he was in there, too. Georgia was laughing again. So was Kayla.
He stripped off his wet shirt and threw it at Georgia. His shoes followed, and he slung his wet jeans at Kayla. If Georgia hadn’t been watching, he would have stripped off his underwear, too.
Kayla, in her underpants and bra, swam to the other end of the pool. She whistled, and seconds later, one damp hound dog belly-flopped into the pool beside him.
Georgia laughed and laughed, infecting him and Kayla. They all needed this. Between him worrying about finding a job, Kayla being hurt by his insensitive remark, and Georgia feeling bad about her parents ignoring her on her birthday, they needed to laugh and play and have fun.
<>
After the phone call from her mama, Kayla didn’t hear from her again. Since Granny died, Mama was the only family she had left, but Mama only called when things weren’t going well for her, when she was down and needed to know there was somebody in this world who loved her.
Kayla did love her mama, but she hadn’t seen her since Granny’s funeral and wasn’t likely to see her again anytime soon. Never once in all these years had Mama asked her to come to California to see her. Sometimes Kayla wondered if her mama was ashamed of her. She’d never met any of Mama’s boyfriends, and Mama had never met Blake or Leonard. She’d talked to them on the phone, but she expressed no interest in meeting them. She sent wedding presents, cash money, but she didn’t come to the weddings.
Maybe if she offered to pay for Mama’s plane ticket, she’d come to Ohio for a visit. Late that evening, after Billy had gone to bed, Kayla called Mama’s cell phone number. Some man answered, and Kayla said, “I’m looking for Louise Ainsworth. Is she there?”
“You one of her friends?”
“I’m her daughter, Kayla. Is she there?”
“Hey, Lulu,” the man called. “Phone call from your daughter.”
Mama came on the line. “Whatsa matter, baby?” She sounded drunk.
“Mama, have you been drinking?”
“Hey, give me a toke,” someone called in the background, and Kayla felt like sinking through the floor.
“I shouldn’t have called.”
“I’ll call you to
morrow, okay, baby?”
“Sure. Fine. Call me tomorrow.”
Kayla realized she didn’t know anything about her mother’s life in California. She knew what Granny told her over the years, that Mama was an actress in Hollywood. But Kayla had never seen her in a movie or on television.
What did she act in? Did she make enough money to support herself, or did she have to rely on her boyfriends to support her?
Kayla felt a need to reconnect with her mother, to understand the choices she’d made. She couldn’t imagine having a baby girl and then leaving her for someone else to raise, yet that was exactly what Mama had done. She was younger than Georgia when Kayla was born, and she wanted a career as an actress in the movies, but that was no excuse for deserting her only child.
When Kayla was in junior high school, she asked Granny why Mama didn’t love her. Granny said, “Never doubt her love, Kayla. She can’t support you and be what she wants to be, and she knows you’re safe here with me. Someday, when you’re older, she’ll be able to take care of you, and you can go live in California with her.”
But that never happened. Kayla and her mother may have a blood bond, but they were strangers to each other.
Kayla was closer to Billy and Georgia – a man who didn’t think she was good enough to marry and a teenage girl whose family had thrown her out on the street.
<>
During the summer months, Billy and Kayla continued to work on the house. He framed in the screened porch, then the granite countertops were installed, and the black iron window boxes went up on the front of the house. Kayla was right about the granite. The kitchen looked great with the frosted glass in the cabinet doors, red walls, and black granite countertops. No doubt the kitchen would help sell the house.
The black iron window boxes gave a new dimension to the front of the house. Kayla shopped for colorful potted plants, which she planted in terra cotta pots and set in the window boxes. They wouldn’t last all winter, but Billy hoped to have the house sold by then.
A few days later, Billy’s father and Trevor helped him put the roof on the screened porch, and Billy finished the job, tacking the screen on and hanging the door. Georgia helped Kayla scrub the patio furniture and put it inside the porch, so they had a place to sit outside where the mosquitoes couldn’t get to them.
