by Jade Waltz
“And now you understand why we keep telling you how amazing you are, Selena,” Odelm whispered, grabbing both of her hands as they stopped before the raised center stage. “Even before you accepted Xylo and me as your Favored, you treated the princes with the love and respect that they deserved. That’s unheard of, especially among unbonded males.”
“I understand, Odelm. I really do,” she breathed. “I only wanted to do what felt right.” She gestured to the rows of seats around them. “I hope you know that I didn’t make you a Favored because Zirene pushed me to. I chose you because it’s what both you and Xylo deserve. I love you both so much that I didn’t want to make the clan suffer from my indecision.”
Odelm’s tentacle pressed against her cheek as she closed her eyes, leaning into his touch. “It wasn't your fault. We knew you only wanted the best for us, and yet we didn’t want to pressure you to make a rash decision you weren’t ready for.”
“But why would it be rash to choose you as Favored?” She opened her eyes, studying him in confusion. “Is this because you still believe you don’t deserve it? That you’re inferior to Xylo and the princes?”
Her words cut him like a vibroknife through a fish—swift and accurate, leaving a steaming burn in its wake.
“I’d be lying if I said I wasn’t.” He averted his eyes to his Ulepo—the multi-tiered organ developed by the Ikzurn, which led him to meet his nestqueen. “But I have been getting better at not comparing myself to them.”
“Odelm,” she choked. “This is about your nestbrothers blossoming, isn't it?”
He nodded. “Soon, you will decide who will sire your offspring. I know that I am Favored, and what my position entails, but I would never force you to do anything you don’t want.”
“And yet?” She palmed his cheek, mirroring his tentacle. “You think I won’t want you?”
He shrugged. “Xylo and I don’t have the traditional Circuli coloring. Why would you want to hatch more abnormalities into the world?”
“I don’t know how many times I have to tell you this, but nothing about me is considered normal. You know this,” Selena scoffed, rolling her eyes as she shook her head. “Have you ever thought maybe I’ve pictured what life would be like years from now? Our cubs, playing with little Xylos and Odelms in the hatchery? I’ve wondered if they would inherit some of my silver in their coloring as the cubs do.”
“Truthfully?” he asked, stunned. “You have been thinking about me siring your—our future offspring?”
“Haven’t you?” She tilted her head and sighed. “Look, I know you’re all eager to reproduce, especially since you’re used to your species’ females only becoming fertile one week every five years, but I don’t want any more offspring at this time. A few years in the future, definitely, but right now?” She pulled away, raising her hands as she spun around. “I love my cubs, I really do, but I’m not ready to have more children. I just want to enjoy my time with my clan and . . .” She halted and shrugged, sighing. “Live. Tell me, is that too much to ask?”
Her words gutted him. He could feel the truth in her statement, and it weighed him down.
Had the clan done a poor job taking care of their nestqueen? They had failed to ease her worries by becoming overly excited about what the Wudox males’ blooming meant for the clan. They’d added pressure on her and the choices she would have to make soon. She couldn’t confide in her mates about her feelings concerning the clan and any future offspring. His nestbrothers’ blooming must have worried her, especially considering the obligation she already felt to provide the offspring for the future.
Odelm knew he was just as guilty as his nestbrothers. He’d made it well known how much siring her future offspring would mean to him, and it had blinded him to her wants and needs.
This was what Xylo had warned him about on the CEG Space Station. Even though Odelm had listened to his nestbrother’s words and understood his stance on the subject, he hadn’t taken them as seriously as he should have.
Despair overtook him, his knees buckling as he collapsed onto the floor.
“I am sorry for failing you,” he pleaded, lowering his forehead to the ground. “Please forgive me for my actions and any hurt I may have caused.”
He winced as the sound of steps neared him. Her hands gripped his shoulders—by his bond thread and her touch, he knew it was his nestqueen, for he would never allow another female to touch him so.
“Odelm,” she comforted, the rawness in her voice was echoed by the sad gray and worried orange in her aura. “Look at me, my love.”
Heartbroken, he lifted his head, unable to meet her gaze.
“My sweet, sweet musician,” she muttered, cupping his chin with both hands as she raised his eyes to hers. Tears met him, gutting him all over again. “I know how devoted you are to our clan and me. Your drive to sire offspring with me is the result of a need to prove yourself to both the clan and the universe. I can't fault you for that. I would blame the ishing luwsk who originally severed your bond, but if she hadn’t, I would've never had the chance to cross paths with you."
“That’s where you are wrong. The Stars led you to me for a reason. But I’ve been selfish and have prioritized my needs over yours." Odelm choked, absorbing his nestqueen’s sadness as his tentacles wiped away the tears that fell freely from her eyes. "I am to blame for causing so much disorder within our clan. If I wasn't clamoring about being chosen as a Favored, it was siring your offspring, regardless of the consequences.”
“Starting tonight, let’s fix any wrongdoings and heal our wounds,” she breathed. “Then, once these dates are over, you can help me explain to the rest of the clan that I don’t want to get pregnant again for some time.” She glanced toward the stage and sighed. “Perhaps I can even convince Xylo to have his team study some sort of birth control—though it will probably be pointless due to my fast healing. I hope that won’t somehow interfere with your biological triggers when your bonding spores are inside me.” Frowning, her eyes intense, she stared at the dimming sunset through the auditorium’s dome in silence.
While he didn't need a concert hall to feel accomplished, receiving the amazing feat of architecture from his nestqueen would remain one of the highlights of his life. Standing in front of Destima’s citizens as she declared him one of her Favored, and how she’d designed this hall for him, spoke volumes to him, the clan, and the universe.
The amount of imagination and thought she’d put into the intricate design was breathtaking. The building itself was shaped like a four-point flower, each petal a separate dome, surrounding a more extensive sphere in the middle. Each petal held offices, storage, and dressing rooms under the water’s surface, giving an independent feel to each area.
At its core was the hall’s lobby, where Selena had delivered her speech just a few days ago. Underneath the foyer, where the rest of the sphere was submerged underwater, lay a space for an exclusive restaurant if a business venture wanted to rent the room.
Different detailing was inlaid in each petal dome’s plexiglass, in a theme matching the petal’s purpose. The auditorium’s center was slightly raised, surrounded by seating under a dome closed off with detailing lining the space above the stage. The central viewing window in the ceiling provided natural lighting during the day and a gorgeous view of the stars at night. The ledge above the seating permitted him to add special lights or effects to the shows, projected onto the center stage.
Odelm couldn’t wait to stand in front of a sold-out auditorium and put on performances in Selena’s name. He could almost hear their cheers as he stared at the seats.
But now wasn’t the time to fantasize about the future, not when he was supposed to serenade his nestqueen.
“What ails you, Selena?” He wrapped his arms around his nestqueen, feeling her sigh as he rested his chin on her shoulder. “Tell me what I can do to take your worries away.”
“I am thinking about how difficult it will be to come up with a solution to prevent conceptio
n.” She leaned against him and covered his hands with her own. “If Xylo and his scientists can tailor a form of birth control for my body, how will the medicine interact with my males? I don’t want to harm the clan any more than I already have to delay having any more offspring.”
“If Xylo does concoct birth control that somehow prevents our spores from activating our bodies for our one shot, you have nothing to worry about.” Odelm tightened his hold on her, sending her all the calming vibes he could. “Remember, you have Kaede’s venom, Bahzyl. Whenever you feel the need to mate with us, all you must do is bite us. However, Selena, I want you to remember that we don’t view sex the same way you do. Our species partakes only for reproductive purposes, but my nestbrothers and I are addicted to you—how you feel, how you taste, and how your bliss covers us like the morning dew. It may be uncomfortable having our bodies prepared to mate yet unable to act on it, but that is a sacrifice we are glad to make.”
“But that’s the thing. I’m uncomfortable with doing anything that hurts you.”
“How about we stop worrying about the future for now and save this conversation for Xylo and his crew?” Odelm coaxed. “Let me give you what I’ve wanted to since our time on the Destiny.”
Selena turned in his arms to face him, her lips almost touching his. “What do you mean?” she breathed, her blue-green eyes searching his.
“I prepared a song for you, to describe how you make me feel, and to thank the Stars for sending you to me.”
“Yes, I would enjoy that,” she whispered, closing her eyes.
Her lips covered his.
Shock ran through his body at the contact, and his eyes closed at the flood of emotions and sensations. Selena’s lips were soft against his.
She leaned into his body and slid her arms around his shoulders. Odelm opened his eyes and raised shaky hands to caress her cheeks as his tentacles instinctively wrapped tightly around her, holding her body to him.
Reluctantly, he pulled his lips away, not wanting to get distracted by her temptations. He had a plan that he needed to see through. Later tonight, he could take her to their backyard pool and kiss her under the stars.
“I love you, Selena.”
“I love you too, Odelm.”
Slowly, he untangled his untamed tentacles from around her, wrapping them around his torso in their default state. Stepping away, he gestured to the seating around them. “Pick a seat. Any will do.”
Smiling wide, she ran over to a spot in the first row, to the side and slightly behind him. He watched her sit down, giving him her undivided attention.
Nervousness crept up in the back of his mind, though he didn’t know why. This was Selena, his nestqueen, not a room full of strangers. There was no reason for him to feel this way, yet something kept nagging at him.
Pulling the stool back, he sat down behind his Ulepo, flexing his fingers. He unwound his tentacles, stretching them to prepare for the personal concert he had planned for his nestqueen.
Glancing over his shoulder, he shot Selena a gentle smile as he drank in her beauty. Her radiance inspired him. “I dedicate this premiere performance in the concert hall you've given me, to you. Every time you hear music radiate from this auditorium, may you remember this night.”
“I will, as long as you remember that you are mine, forever and always.”
“I promise,” he swore.
Taking in a deep breath, he closed his eyes and wiggled his fingers before placing them on the keys.
He knew what he had to do.
A Master Musician was well-versed in many styles of music, capable of playing a multitude of songs from memory, with a natural talent for improvisation. Odelm was going to lose himself in the music, and through it, express to her all the feelings he was incapable of putting into words.
He allowed his fingers and tentacles to walk along with the keys of the Ulepo. He knew where every key, knob, and paddle were located by muscle memory. This instrument had been one of his first, a favorite of his even before he met Selena. Since this instrument had called her to him, he would never stop playing it.
As he drifted with the music, he marveled over Selena’s unconditional acceptance and everything else she had granted him. Deep in his mind, he still wondered how he deserved her. She had never judged him for his past, for his faults, or for his need to have offspring of his own.
No, she had accepted him fully and given him her future blessing to sire offspring. Oh, how it made him feel!
His hearts soared, and he longed to tell the universe that the Fates had gifted him the perfect nestqueen, beautiful despite her faults.
He reached over to her through their golden bond thread and was overwhelmed by the emotions he brought to her—through his music.
Awe. Dreaminess. Joy. Serenity.
This was why he played music: to feel what others felt and manipulate them into feeling better. But he wasn’t controlling Selena’s emotions; he was showing her his own. Having her echo them back to him, however, overwhelmed him.
It was addicting.
Beyond sex with her, he’d never felt like this before. This was almost as good as feeling her bliss echoed to him when he and Xylo had pleasured her in the shower on the space station.
She could be the key to his success.
Her presence in the crowd, feeding him her emotions, could inspire him as he performed in front of others. This could be his legacy in the universe: the Ulax Master Musician who created music that could bring others to tears—of happiness or despair.
Could he do it? Yes.
Would he do it? He didn’t know.
His instincts told him that this moment should remain private, shared only between his nestqueen and their clan. If he performed with her publicly, he wouldn’t only be exposing his own emotions to the crowd, but Selena’s as well, and that didn’t feel right to him.
He would have to figure out another plan to bring customers to this performance hall because he didn’t want to squander Selena’s gift by allowing this masterpiece to remain empty.
No, it needed to be shared with as many customers as he could find. Building a client base would take time, especially since art was a dying industry.
Reeling himself in, he transitioned into the piece he’d created for her. No matter how much he wanted to experience her reaction fully, it would only change the melody.
Chapter Ten
Selena
Closing my eyes, I emptied my mind, putting away my doubts and stress so I could give Odelm my undivided attention.
The music started slow and emotional, then slowly transitioned into a faster piece with quick, precise movements. Each note of every song shared his emotions with me. I was the one riding high, then plunging into despair, soaring and dipping with his incredible performance.
Odelm was the master of my feelings as he moved from stately melodies, filled with lilting and beautiful passages, to a more upbeat tempo.
Slowly, I felt a pressure against my mental shields.
I waved it off as one of the Circuli testing my limits. Bolder citizens tried to do so from time to time, trying to test my strength and see if I was worthy enough to have not only four nestmates, but a pair of princes in my clan.
They could never sever my bonds with my nestmates, but that didn’t make them any less curious. How had a demi-human come to have four nestmates? And how had I become Prince Zirene’s Seedbearer?
At every step of my journey, someone always questioned me, my past, and my possessions.
It had grown old.
I’d thought that giving Destima’s citizens a paradise to live and flourish in would be enough for them to leave my clan and me alone, but no matter how many times I gave, they always wanted more.
I felt the pressure again, but this time, it was joined by a dizzy spell.
Slowly, I could feel my body fall over, but my eyelids were too heavy to open.
A sharp pain stabbed my head, causing my mental shields to waver for an instant
as the dizziness overtook me.
One moment of weakness in my mental shields was enough for the presence to slither through, entering my void. A cyan, spherical presence floated before me, its thread cutting through the remainder of my mental shields. I tried to envision severing its power the way Mwe had taught me but failed.
“I don’t think so, female,” the familiar, yet mysterious tenor voice spoke. “You have been a hard person to track. Nevertheless, I’ve finally found you.”
“What do you want from me?” I demanded. “Haven’t you heard of diplomacy? Or are you too barbaric to negotiate?”
“You tell me, Selena Darcaw, Seedbearer and Mate of Zirene Darcaw and ruler of—what did you call it? ‘Destima’? Ah, yes, the moon Destima.”
A shiver coursed through my ethereal form.
“How do you know my identity?” I hissed, refusing to show weakness to this arrogant male.
“I know a lot about you, Selena,” he chuckled. “You see, you have my brother, and I want him back.”
“Obviously, you don’t know as much as you think you do, because I don’t know who your brother is,” I scoffed. “So how about you stop wasting both of our time and leave me be? Clearly I don't know what the Stars you’re talking about.”
“That’s where you’re wrong, Selena,” he taunted. “The Stars have led me to you and shown my Cosmic Soul that you’re the key to finding my brother. Now, we can do this the easy way; just tell me how I can get him back. Or I can force you to.”
I tried to recall our earlier conversation, only to pull a blank.
“I don’t understand why you think I have anything to do with you or your brother. Just because some Cosmic Soul—whatever that is—told you something false, you’re pinning his disappearance on me?” I barked. “Look, I am not Verya, nor am I Vhalxt. You already know so much about me, I’m assuming you know that I’m not a kidnapper.”
