by Magan Vernon
Things were way easier when we were just best friends and I could pine for him in silence. When it was out in the open, I had no idea what to do but stare and hope he didn’t think I was ridiculous.
“Looking for Eddie?” a low husky voice asked. I glanced up to see Noah Riley, smiling at me.
I don’t think I’d ever actually had a conversation with the guy. He was almost ten years younger than I was, and I didn’t know how to sign. People assured me he could read lips, but whether I saw him playing piano or when he came out to clean the pool, I just avoided him. Easier to do that than embarrass myself by trying to talk to him.
“Uh. No,” I said, taking a big gulp from my water bottle.
Noah smiled, which lit up his whole face. If I knew someone his age, I would totally hook up the curly-haired guy with her. Well, if someone could handle a deaf, piano-playing, pool cleaning Texan.
“Liar. I’m pretty good at reading people, and when you lie, you get a little crease between your eyebrows and take even bigger swigs from your water bottle, which I’m guessing isn’t grape juice.”
I involuntarily rubbed the skin between my eyebrows then shoved my water bottle back in my purse. Noah laughed. “Well, if you are or aren’t looking for him, he already left. He’s coming by later, though. We started jamming together in the basement a few nights a week.”
“You and Eddie jam in the church basement? Why does that sound like an oxymoron?”
“Stranger things have happened,” he said, giving me a knowing smile.
Yes, they have.
Chapter 6
My phone rang early on Monday morning. I thought that maybe Mom was trying to wake me since I had wised up and locked the door.
Reluctantly, I reached for my nightstand and didn’t even look at the caller ID when I put it to my ear in my half-asleep state. “Hello?”
“Brooke. Hey. How’s it going? How’s your family?” Drake asked with trepidation in his voice.
Clearing my throat, I sat up, suddenly wide-awake. “Um, good. Yeah, we’re doing okay. I think my mom has been holding it all in, and I’m waiting for her to break.”
It was the most honest thing I’d said to Drake in a while, and my own true words surprised me. Maybe I just needed coffee to go back to my normal bitchy self.
“Does that mean you won’t be going home with me for Thanksgiving?” he asked sheepishly.
I sucked in a deep breath, thinking of the right words to say. “No,” was all that came out.
“Are you ever coming back to Austin?”
I sighed, rubbing the bridge of my nose. Drake had never done anything wrong to me, other than love a girl who wasn’t able to commit. “I don’t know,” I answered.
“I hope you do,” he replied.
I didn’t even know how to respond to that. This guy wanted me to come back. He’d only ever been honest in wanting to spend the rest of his life with me, and I just kept running.
“I don’t think it’s going to happen for a while. And if it does, I don’t know if things will be the same between us.” I muttered the last part.
“Yeah, I should have guessed that. We haven’t really been together-together in a while. I knew you were unhappy, but I don’t know, I just thought … maybe … it would work itself out.”
He was silent for a few moments before he spoke again. “So what happens now? Do you come get your stuff? Do you want me to mail it?” he replied.
“I gotta go. My mom is calling for me,” I said quickly, using the first excuse I could think of.
“Okay. Um. Hopefully, we can talk later.”
I didn’t even say goodbye as I disconnected the call and sprang from my bed.
I should have been crying. I’d been with this guy for years, and I’d broken it off in the weirdest, non-dramatic way possible. This gave me permission to move forward with Eddie and not feel guilty. But really, I’d been emotionally cheating on every guy who wasn’t Eddie for years. I’d been in love with the guy forever, and now that he was finally back, it was time to see if all of the waiting would work.
Now, what the hell was I supposed to do after my little soliloquy? Make coffee. Yes. Coffee would help me make sense of everything.
I unlocked my bedroom door and crept down the stairs. I didn’t expect to see the coffee already brewing or my mother standing at the sink and staring blankly out the window.
“Mom?” I asked, carefully approaching her.
It was another beat before she gasped then turned toward me. “Oh, hi, Brooke. Sorry, I was just lost in my own thoughts there for a moment.”
“Is everything okay?” I raised an eyebrow.
Mom smiled softly and patted my hand. “They will be.”
“I miss him too,” I whispered without even thinking.
Mom sighed, sitting on the barstool at the kitchen island. “I’ve been going through the motions these last couple of weeks, and now, it’s really hit me. The aneurysm was real. He’s not waking up. He’s not just on a business trip. He won’t get up with me in the morning to have coffee and chat before Violet gets up. He won’t be there to see her grow or to watch our future grandchildren whenever they might happen.” Mom sniffed, wiping under her watery eyes.
I took the seat next to her. “I wish I would have come around more, maybe made more of an effort.”
Mom shook her head. “He knew you were busy.”
“Yeah, busy doing my own thing instead of worrying about everyone else. That’s kind of my MO, and I really need to stop that. Maybe it’s time I start worrying about other people.”
Mom smiled. “You’re like your father, baby. He was always so driven and trying to work hard to make it to the next level of whatever he was doing. I’d ask him to stop and smell the roses, and he’d tell me that the roses will come back every year, but this may not. Now, the roses won’t come back ... He’s really gone ...” Mom burst into tears, and I took her in my arms, embracing her in a hug. I finally let the tears I’d been holding in escape, and we held each other, crying for Dad, crying for us.
After a few minutes, Mom let me go, wiping her eyes. “Now that that’s out of the way, and we’re both being honest, are you going to tell me about your love life?”
“Mom!” I rolled my eyes.
She patted my knee. “Oh, stop. I know you were living with that Drake fella, and I think everyone with a set of eyes has seen the way you look at Eddie. The way you’ve always looked at him. You’ve been in love with that boy since the womb. I remember every time I was near Lydia when we were pregnant, you would immediately start to kick. Like you were trying to get his attention.”
“How did we go from talking about Dad to boys and me?”
Mom smiled. “Because your father was the love of my life. When we met, I was just another college freshman. I had a boyfriend back home, and I was just trying to get through my classes to move back to Oklahoma and the other boy. The moment I saw your father at freshman orientation, my jaw hit the floor. I knew, from one look, that my relationship with my high school boyfriend was over and your dad was it. It took me a few months, but finally, I did break up with that boy. I wished I’d done it sooner. He was heartbroken, and I still feel bad for leading him on.”
“I’m not leading Drake on,” I grumbled.
“Then what are you doing?” Mom asked.
I shrugged. “I don’t know. Eddie and I are just friends. We always have been. He’s been gone so long and is dealing with his own female issues that I don’t know what to think.”
“I think you know where your heart is,” Mom said, patting my hand before standing up. “Now, I’m going to get some coffee before I wake up your sister. Sit a spell and have a cup with me?”
I smiled. “Sure.”
***
Mom didn’t want to break any traditions, even if we were in mourning. Right after school was out, she returned home with Violet carrying a bunch of grocery bags.
I was sitting at the kitchen table and immediately close
d my laptop so Violet wouldn’t be able to read my latest sex scene that involved a lot of whipped cream, two bakers, and a waitress.
“What’s all this for?” I asked, grabbing a bag from Mom.
“Dessert baking! Lydia and Tameem will be over after dinner.”
“Tameem?” I asked.
Ever since I was little, Lydia would come over the Monday night before Thanksgiving. She and my mom would gossip and start holiday baking, while Dad and Tameem watched Monday night football. Eddie and I would usually try to sneak out to go to the pond, and Clay would cry about it the entire time.
“And, yes, Eddie too,” Mom said with a wink.
Now that it was out in the open about my feelings for Eddie, I had a hunch things were about to get a lot more interesting.
***
Just as I finished loading the dishwasher, the doorbell rang.
“I’ll get it, Violet yelled, zooming past me toward the front door.
Tameem and Lydia walked in first, handing my mom a bottle of wine before the hugs and small talk started.
Then, like a breath of fresh air, Eddie came in behind them.
“Wipe the drool off your chin, sis,” Clay said, nudging my shoulder.
“Shut up,” I muttered, shoving him.
Eddie’s boots clicked on the tile floor, and my eyes trailed all the way up his worn-out jeans, a broad chest that stretched his plain white t-shirt, and to his dark brown eyes. “Hey,” I managed to stammer out.
“Hey. Long time, no see,” he said.
“Well, I did see you singing with the choir. Didn’t know you were doing that or playing in a basement with a deaf kid,” I said, before taking a big gulp of my wine. Mom didn’t get the cheap stuff, and less of a hangover was always nice.
Eddie laughed, shaking his head. “You were never one to mince words. Yeah, Mrs. Noble asked me if I’d sing with the choir, and that got Noah and me talking. Sorry, I didn’t get to explain all of that to you on Sunday, but my agent called. He wants me back in Nashville this weekend.”
“Oh?” I asked, raising an eyebrow.
“Yeah, um, can we step outside and talk?” he asked with a shy smile.
Something fluttered in my stomach, and I couldn’t tell if it was nerves, excitement, or too much moscato. “Yeah. Sure.”
He put his hand on my lower back, sending the warm touch from his fingers all the way through my clothes. He guided me toward the back patio door and opened it, stepping out after me and shutting the door.
The sun had just begun to set, casting an orange glow over the trees. I took a seat in the metal glider, and Eddie sat down next to me.
“So Nashville? Going back for good?” I asked, not really wanting to know the answer. If he said ‘yes,’ that would mean I wouldn’t have much of a reason to stay after things were settled with my dad’s estate. I’d probably down another one of Mom’s bottles of wine and make Clay share some of his pot. He swore he didn’t smoke it, but no man Febreezes himself that much if he isn’t smoking.
“Honestly, Brooke, I don’t even know what I’m doing. I’ve only been back in Friendship a few weeks, but it feels like home. It feels like this is where I should be. I mean, I don’t see why I can’t travel back and forth between Nashville, Dallas, LA, and wherever else. A lot of guys do it.”
A small smile crept on my lips. “So what you’re saying is that the famous Eddie Justice is coming home for good?”
He put his hand on mine and squeezed it. “I think so.”
Chapter 7
The Jahid family always had their Thanksgiving feast at exactly noon. That way all the men could go out to the backfields and hunt after stuffing their faces.
Dad walked into the house earlier than he ever had after the Thanksgiving hunting excursion. Usually, after hunting, he’d sit on the Jahid’s back deck and enjoy the bonfire with some drinks. I knew this because Eddie would always find a way to sneak something into a water bottle. He’d bring it over, and we’d sit out by the pond, throwing the evidence in the water when we were done.
“Jerry, is everything okay?” Mom asked, running to my father.
I was unloading the dishwasher in the kitchen but stopped when, out of the corner of my eye, I saw eight-year-old Clay walk in with his head down.
“Clay! Baby, are you okay?” Mom asked, bending down to his side and pulling his Cowboys’ ball cap off his head.
“I don’t want to talk about it,” Clay muttered before he shrugged Mom off and ran upstairs.
Dad’s eyes met mine across the kitchen. “I think you’d better go talk to Eddie. Maybe have him come and talk to Clay, too.”
I raised an eyebrow. “What?”
Dad shook his head. “Can you just do that for me, Brooke?”
I nodded and set the dish down. “Yeah. I can do that.”
***
I didn’t need to call or stop by the Jahid house to know where Eddie would be.
The moonlight shone on the pond and reflected on Eddie’s shiny black boots as he sat on our tree branch, throwing rocks in the water.
“That’s a terrible way to fish,” I said, taking the seat next to him.
“I ain’t trying to,” he muttered, not looking in my direction.
“What the hell, Eddie? First, my dad comes home early, then Clay gets all whiny, and now, you’re being like this? What is this—Hunting Men’s menstrual cycle?”
Eddie sighed, throwing another rock in the water. “I don’t think Clay and I are cut out for hunting.”
I raised an eyebrow. “What do you mean? I mean I know this was Clay’s first trip, but you’ve been going out there with a gun since you were barely out of diapers.”
Eddie turned to me slowly, his eyes dark. “Yeah, but I’d never killed anything until today.”
I gasped at the haunting look in his eyes. I’d never asked my dad if they’d killed any animals, and frankly, I didn’t want to know, but this added a whole new dynamic.
“Usually, I could get away with being a bad shot and pretending I missed. It’s worked for years, and Gramps or Dad never caught onto it. But your brother didn’t get that memo, and with his first shot, he hit a rabbit in the leg. When we ran over to it, it was making this ear-piercing shriek and blood was pooling out of its leg. Gramps came running over and told me I had to take care of it. I couldn’t let him suffer.”
“By take care of it, you mean ...” I asked, but already knew the answer.
Eddie nodded, swallowing hard. “It didn’t take much, but it was the first time I’d ever done something like that. Your brother screamed and cried, and I just sat there silent. Gramps patted my shoulder and told me I did a good job then sent me home for my mom to teach me how to clean it.”
I didn’t know what I was supposed to say. Eddie’s Gramps was a hard ass. He was a good ol’ Texas ex and country boy who passed the ranch down to Lydia and Tameem. He might not run the ranch anymore, but he still ran the family from the log cabin guesthouse he’d built a few miles out on the property.
“I’ve never intentionally hurt anything in my whole life, and I never want to again. Seeing the look on your brother’s face made me realize how much it can affect someone. I took that rabbit’s life today, Brooke.”
I put my hand on Eddie’s shoulder. “You did what you thought was best.”
“But it’s not what I thought was best. It was what I thought I had to do, and now, I’m not so sure. I mean maybe the rabbit could have lived, but I didn’t give him that chance.”
“I’m sorry,” I whispered because I wasn’t sure what else to say.
“Thanks for listening, Brooke. You know you’re my best friend. Even though people give us shit, saying a girl and a guy can’t be best friends, you’ll always be mine. Always.”
I smiled. I’d realized I had a crush on Eddie as soon as I hit puberty. I never wanted to tell him and have it ruin our friendship, but if his little soliloquy was any indication, he didn’t feel the same way as I did.
“Yo
u’re my best friend too, Ed.”
“Eryn, so good to see you,” Gramps said, getting up with the aid of his cane.
Gramps looked like an old cowboy straight out of the movies with his slicked-back white hair, curled mustache, and plaid pearl snap shirt. He’d looked exactly the same in all of the years I’d known him.
“Thank you, Travis,” Mom said as she let go.
“And oh my stars, is this little Brookey? Holy hell, did you get to be a knockout. Has Eddie seen you?” Gramps stared at me wide-eyed before pulling me in for a hug.
So I might have dressed up a little more than usual for the occasion with my peach swing dress. I even wore contacts and light makeup, putting my long brown hair into a French twist.
“She’s always been beautiful, Gramps,” Eddie said, clasping the old man’s shoulder before he pulled me in for a hug.
I closed my eyes, inhaling the scent of his woodsy cologne and baking spices from the kitchen. I wanted to engrain his scent in my memory forever. He might have said he was only going to Nashville for a short while, but I was afraid that it would turn into another ten years and I would never see him again.
After finishing Mom’s moscato last night, I decided to do some Facebook stalking and saw that Drake had already changed his Facebook status to single. Part of it stung and the other part of me knew it was coming. Now, I had to make a trip to Austin to get my stuff.
But before I could even think about that, I had to make the most of my time with Eddie, before I could possibly lose him again. This time, I was going to make our goodbye memorable. Something that would make him come back. I didn’t want to leave anything out there that would make either of us wonder what could have happened.
“And Clay, you’ve grown up too. Was told you have quite the kill count from the Army,” Gramps said, giving Clay a firm handshake.
