by Kate Benson
“Then do it,” he insists. “Choose us, Ana. Come with me.”
I search his eyes, hold the same breath that’s always belonged to this moment, belonged to this man and I know…
This is what I was waiting for.
If we’re ever going to come out on the other side of this together, now is my chance to save us both.
“Okay,” I whisper, surprising us both. “I’ll come with you, Drake.” He releases a long sigh of relief, his breath washing over me as he takes a step closer. I step back. “But I have terms.”
“Name them,” he shrugs, instant relief filling his features.
“There’s really only one.”
“Done,” he replies immediately. “If it’s within my power, it’s yours. I’ll give it to you right now.”
“You’re the only one who can,” I admit, and his eyes lift to find mine already nervously staring into him. “And I think you’ll find my request is one you’re familiar with.”
“And what is that, my love?
“Control.”
Chapter Twenty-Six
Chase
“Nothing,” I say, slipping back into the cab of my truck, hating the way her expression deflates instantly with the single word. “I’m sorry, baby.”
“It’s not your fault,” she shakes her head, releasing a low sigh. “It was a long shot anyway.”
Logan’s is the fourth place in Rockport we’d stopped at tonight alone, and this was the second time this week we’d stopped here. After the night Sophie was attacked in the parking lot a couple years ago, none of us had any desire to return to this bar. However, our list of places to search for Ana here in town wasn’t that impressive to begin with. Long shot or not, we weren’t willing to leave any stone untouched.
“Maybe I should check the women’s restroom?” she offers, earning an immediate shake of my head.
“You’re not ever going back in that place, Sophie,” I insist. She begins to argue but is quickly cut off by my finger resting over her lips. “You’re not going inside,” I say once more. “Besides, I had one of the waitresses go in and check. She didn’t see anyone who looked even close to Ana in the ladies’ room.”
“Dammit,” she sighs, her head falling back against the seat as she shakes her head. “Well, I’m out of ideas, babe. We’ve been to every single place Ana and I have ever walked into together, all the places Drake and Jack put on the list and Lila’s so many times, I’ve lost count,” she continues. Eventually, her eyes move back to mine. “She’s just not here, Chase. Have you still not heard from Drake?”
“No, but it’s still on the early side for him,” I offer, giving her thigh a gentle squeeze. “Why don’t we head on home, try to see the kids before Deb puts them to bed?”
“Okay,” she nods, leaning toward me and tucking herself into my side. “It would be nice to be able to do that at least once this week,” she says low, releasing a gentle sigh when I press my lips to her hair. “I miss my babies.”
“I miss them, too,” I admit, gripping the inside of her thigh once more before I slip the truck into drive. “Let’s go home, princess. We can talk to the others, see if they made any progress. Hopefully we’ll hear some good news. If not, we’ll just try again tomorrow.”
“Yeah,” she replies, relaxing slightly beside me.
We’re nearly home, the traffic light I’m approaching tinting the inside of the cab red as we come to a slow stop. I glance over, surprised to see her gripping her stomach as her eyes shift into discomfort.
“You okay?” I ask, pulling a hesitant nod from her.
“I think so,” she tries, clearing her throat before she reaches for the bottle of water she’s been sipping on for the last hour. “I just… I don’t know. I’ve just kind of felt like shit for the last couple of days.”
“Felt like shit how?” I ask, my eyebrows quirking together in concern.
“Just kind of blah, y’know?” she replies, slipping deep into her thoughts for a split second before she shakes her head clear and waves it off. “I thought it was just nerves, but…”
“Well, it would make sense. You’ve been running yourself ragged, baby,” I interject, looking her over. “Maddie still had a touch of the flu last week, though. I hope you didn’t pick it up from her,” I continue, gently resting my palm against her forehead before moving it to her cheek. “You don’t feel like you’ve got a fever.”
“I checked earlier at the office and my temperature was normal, too,” she admits, the green light regretfully pulling my attention away from her. She leans back against my shoulder, one hand resting on my leg while the other stays in place against her stomach.
“We’ll be home in a second,” I promise, my voice low, and she nods against me, her lips pressing to my bicep. “Once the kids are asleep, I’ll get ya all fixed up.”
“Hmm… promise?” she hums, her lips quirking up at my suggestive tone making me chuckle. “Don’t threaten me with a good time if you don’t mean it.”
“I wouldn’t dream of it,” I husk, the hand I’m still resting on her thigh moving up slightly to tease her. “Big Daddy don’t mess around.”
“Creeper,” she shakes her head, making my lips curve into a lascivious grin as I pull into the driveway.
She leans away, glancing up at me at the same time I look over.
“Come here,” I command gently. “Gimme a kiss.”
“What if I’m sick?”
“Then I guess I’m about to get sick, too, because neither one of us is getting out of this truck until I get some lovin’ from my wife,” I say bluntly, making her blush as she leans up and presses her lips to mine. I linger and she lets me, the taste of her kiss melting away the stress of the last week like nothing else can. “I love you.”
“I love you, too,” she whispers, giving me another peck on the lips. “Let’s go, baby. It’s almost bedtime.”
We slip out of the truck and I take her hand, leading her toward the door. Images of the last time we had this conversation flash into my mind, and I can’t stop the cringy chuckle in my chest.
“Hey, do you think Matt’s in there with your aunt?” I ask, pulling the shocked laugh from her chest I was aiming for.
“Chase Benjamin!” she whispers harshly, reaching for my nipple and giving it a sharp pinch that makes me howl with pained laughter. “I cannot believe you just said that!”
“Oh, my God,” I grin, reaching for the door and beaming down at her disgusted expression. “I was totally fucking with you and kind of grossed myself out, but your face, baby…” I shake my head. “Totally worth it.”
“I am legitimately heartbroken right now,” she sighs, her dramatic reply only making me laugh harder.
She pushes the door open, the smell of cookies and home rushing our senses and I can’t help the low groan moving through my chest.
“Oh, my God,” Sophie rasps, echoing my thoughts.
“I know,” I agree. “That smells amaz-”
“I think I’m going to throw up,” she cuts me off, launching her purse at me before she runs toward the master bath.
I push the door shut and am about to go after her, make sure she’s alright, but the sound of little footsteps across the hardwood floor diverts my gaze.
“Daddy!” Madison calls out, pulling the corners of my lips up into a wide beam. Her long, golden ringlets are wild, her blue eyes brighter than the sun as she runs toward me, her chubby little arms stretched open. “Daddy!”
My heart shatters, rebuilds and explodes all at once.
“Maddie Nae!” I call out, dropping Sophie’s purse and my bag onto the floor of the foyer, bending at the knees just in time to have her crashing into my embrace. “There’s my perfect girl,” I exclaim, wrapping her up in all the love I’ve got inside me. “Daddy missed you so much, my angel. Gimme some sweet sugar.”
I press my lips to her cheek, peppering her with a dozen kisses, the scruff on my beard making her howl with laughter that takes my breath.
When I fall back onto the tile, holding her close to my chest, her laughter doubles and the sight of the dimples she kept from her mother makes me lovesick all over again.
“I love you,” I promise, chuckling when I pull away to find her hair in a frizzy halo around her face.
“A-too.”
“You have a good day?” I ask, making her nod.
“Yeah!” she says in her perky little voice. My cheeks begin to hurt from smiling so deeply.
“Yeah?”
“Yeah!”
“Where’s Aunt Deb and JT?” I ask, watching her point toward the kitchen, eyes wide.
“Cookie,” she says, dragging the word out.
“Cookie?” I mimic her with a grin.
“Yeah!”
“Did you have cookies?”
“Yeah!” she says once more, this time, her eyes widening in happiness, making me chuckle.
“Did you know Daddy is a cookie monster?” I ask, making her giggle.
“No!” she squeals.
“Daddy’s gonna eat those cheeks and get those cookies!” I threaten playfully, pulling her back down to my chest to tickle her neck once more with my scruff, making her screech with glee.
“Daddy monster!” she bellows gleefully, making my chest vibrate once more.
“Uncle Chase!” JT calls out, running toward me with excitement. “Guess what?”
“Huh?” I ask, taking in his crumb covered lips with a smirk as he hovers over us.
“I just leveled up!” he whispers, checking the area for Sophie.
“Yeah?” I ask, pulling a nod from him. “High five, dude!” I reply, extending my hand. “We gotta be cool.”
“Where is she?” he asks, scanning the area once more, nodding when I point toward the bedroom.
“But hell yeah!” I say, my expression morphing into one that makes him laugh. “You gotta show me tomorrow. Okay?”
“Okay,” he nods with a smile.
“Did you get your homework done?” I ask, making him nod again. “Good job, buddy. Go get ready for bed. We’ll be there in a sec.”
“Alright” he says, pulling his headset off and moving back toward his bedroom.
My eyes move back to Madison’s and I’m not surprised to find her resting gently against my chest, about two seconds away from falling asleep already.
“Do I have a sleepy baby?” I croon into her hair, the sound of the fake snore leaving her little chest making me chuckle. “Seepy, seepy, baby,” I sing quietly, maneuvering us to a sitting position. When I’m upright, she begins to giggle and I can’t stop the smirk on my lips, either. “I guess I better put this seepy baby to bed.”
“No!” she calls out.
“Ahh!” I scream animatedly, making her howl with laughter. “Maddie Nae tricked me!”
“Yeah!” she nods with a giggle. “I trick Daddy!”
“You’re my silly girl,” I smile, kissing her cheek as I watch Sophie step out of the bedroom, her skin looking much paler than usual.
“Aw, baby,” I sigh, taking her in. “You okay?”
“Ugh…” she groans, lowering to her knees to meet Madison’s adoring gaze, the best smile she can manage spreading over her lips. “My sweetest girl,” she breathes. “Mommy missed you so much. I just want to kiss you a million times.” The longing in her eyes is undeniable, the way Maddie reaches for her making her eyes tear and my heart ache in turn. “Mama’s sick, baby,” she sighs regretfully before her eyes make their way to mine. “She’s still on her antibiotics. She’ll be okay if I just hold her for a minute, won’t she?”
“I’m sure, baby,” I tell her, handing Maddie over to her, my heartbeat skipping when I see them together. “Just for a minute, though. You both need to get in bed.”
“Okay,” she nods, redirecting her attention onto the baby, scrunching her nose up playfully, making her snort. “Mean ‘ol Daddy, huh?”
“Yeah!”
“Traitor,” I tease, pulling a smirk to Sophie’s lips that reveals her dimples and keeps a piece of me captive.
I reluctantly leave them and move further into the house, finding Deb sitting at the kitchen table.
“There you are,” I smile, bending to kiss her cheek. “I thought the kids had you hogtied in the backyard or something.”
“No,” she snickers, waving me off. “I heard you kids come in and thought I’d take a break and give y’all some privacy with the babies before bed.”
I ask her about her day as I bend to give the dog a gentle pat on the head and move toward the fridge, reaching for a beer and thinking better of it when I hear little feet once more.
“Uncle Chase?” JT says as he steps out of the hallway, coming toward me.
“Yeah, buddy?”
“Can I have a glass of milk before I go to bed?”
“Did you drink some water today?” I ask, pulling a nod from him. “Okay,” I reply, reaching for the gallon and setting it onto the counter. “Baby, is this milk still good?”
“Should be. What’s the date on it?”
“Fourteenth.”
“Oh, then yeah,” she nods as she rounds the corner, holding Maddie close as she runs her fingers through JT’s hair. “It should be fine for a couple more days. Hi, Aunt Deb.”
“Hi, honey,” she smiles back as I begin to pour the glass.
“Are you sure?” I ask, my nose crinkling. “It smells.”
“Well, I’m sure it’s not expired if you said the fourteenth, but if it stinks, don’t give it to him.”
“Aunt Sophie today is the fifteenth,” JT interjects, glancing up at her.
“Nuh uh,” she shakes her head, making him nod.
“Yeah huh,” he counters. “That’s what my teacher said anyway.”
I pull my phone from my pocket, glancing over the screen and give her an apologetic nod.
“Kid’s right,” I say, picking the jug up and tossing it into the trash. “Sorry, dude. I’ll get more milk tomorrow,” I promise, handing him a bottle of water. “How much paperwork do you think we screwed up today?” I ask, unable to keep the smirk from my lips as I move toward Sophie. When she doesn’t respond, I glance up to find her biting on her lip in thought. “Baby,” I say, pulling her eyes to mine. “You okay?”
“Yeah,” she nods, shaking her head clear. “Yeah, I’m fine.”
I take her in, the way her skin remains just as pale and run my palm over her forehead once more.
“Why don’t you try to eat something and lie down,” I offer, shaking my head in protest when she begins to object. “It’s fine, baby. I’ll put the kids to bed. I know you don’t want to, but you need to take it easy for a few days.”
She glances back up at me, still chewing her lip and finally, she presses her lips to Madison’s forehead, holding her a little longer than usual before releasing her into my arms.
“I love you, peanut,” she whispers, her voice so low, I barely hear the break. “JT I love you, sweet pea,” she vows, leaning down to give him a lingering hug as well. “I’ll see you in the morning. Have sweet dreams.”
“Goodnight, my sweet girl,” Deb calls out, pulling another ‘I love you’ from Sophie’s lips before she faces me once more.
“Are you okay?” I ask, the sudden emotion rolling off her making me slow my steps.
“Yeah,” she nods, swallowing hard. “Yeah. I’m fine, baby.”
“Alright,” I answer, leaning down to give her a quick kiss, surprised when her hands grip my shirt and hold me close, her palm resting on my jaw. “I’ll be there in just a sec, okay?”
She says nothing, instead meeting me with a quick nod and heading toward our bedroom, pushing the door shut behind her.
It takes a few minutes to get the kids asleep, but once I do, I thank Deb again for all her help and move toward our bedroom. I step inside, the light from the bathroom falling over the untouched bed and I knock gently on the door, letting myself in.
“Sophie?” I call out quietly, stepping inside. “Sweethear
t, what’s the matter?”
“I thought today was the twelfth,” she replies, her voice low as I find her sitting on the edge of the bathtub, tears streaming down her face. “Chase, all day I could’ve sworn it was the twelfth.”
“Well, don’t beat yourself up over it, sugar. It’s not that big a deal,” I sigh, coming to a stop in front of her and lowering to my knees, my palms resting on her bare knees and giving them a gentle squeeze. “Baby, what’s wrong?” I ask, wiping the tears from her cheeks. “Why are you crying?”
“Because my period is late,” she admits.
Flashes of her delivery, the hospital, her body surrounded by blood only moments before her heart stopped… it all comes crashing back full force and suddenly...
I can’t breathe.
As I meet her gaze, I see the same fear radiating from my chest in her emerald eyes.
“Sophie…”
“Chase, I think I might be pregnant.”
Chapter Twenty-Seven
Jack
The weight in my chest is unbearable.
It’s been almost two full days since I heard from my sister. Against my better judgement, I’ve kept our conversation to myself. The list of shit I wouldn’t do for her is nearly nonexistent and keeping a secret shouldn’t even register. Yet somehow, the guilt that’s coursing through me over it seems impossible to live with.
I can’t stop thinking about all the things I should have said, can’t help but wonder if I could have fixed all of it the other night with a few better words. However, in that moment, I was just so relieved to hear her voice, so surprised at the words she spoke, I stumbled.
I can’t help but wonder if somehow, I failed her.
What if I’ve failed everyone?
Despite the anxiety that’s made itself at home in the pit of my stomach over Ana, little has kept my mind away from Jenna since I left her apartment this morning.
We talked a little longer once we pulled ourselves from her bed. We’d make it work, try things long distance. Three hours and a plane ticket were all that would separate us once she was settled in Chicago. It wouldn’t be easy, but we knew if we kept our hearts in it, put in the work, we’d pull through for a few months until we came up with a more long-term plan.
