I slipped into the foyer and closed the ballroom doors behind me. The cheering had almost dissipated, and I heard Bub’s muffled voice greet everyone in Latin as my eyes adjusted to the darkness of the foyer.
The hallway was empty, which made my every movement echo and sound a hundred times louder than it should have. The click of a closing door drew my eyes toward the front entrance, and then a flicker of light caused me to duck for cover. When I realized that it was just one of the televisions in the corner of the glass-enclosed bar, I huffed out an embarrassed sigh.
Maybe I’d just had one too many drinks tonight. Or Jenni’s retelling of Ben’s story had spooked me. And who was to say that there wasn’t another crimson succubus missing a pinky out there in the big wide underworld?
Okay. That last one felt like a bit of a stretch. Still, it was Bub’s big night, and unless I wanted to be caught drunkenly stumbling around the chateau in search of some phantom menace, I was better off heading back to the ballroom to catch the tail end of Bub’s speech.
As I turned to make good on my surprisingly sober decision, another sound froze me in place. Was that a splash?
I squinted past the glass wall and through the wide window that stretched behind the bar. For a moment, I marveled at how quickly darkness had fallen. I was familiar enough with Hell to know how long the blazing sunsets should last. When a pair of yellow eyes flickered through that darkness, I didn’t have time to be embarrassed at my error.
The window shattered inward. Splintered trim and crumbled stone mixed with the broken glass, spraying across the room as a massive creature slithered inside the chateau bar. Even in the scarce light, I could see the sharp row of spikes running from its snout all the way to the tip of its tail.
My stomach clenched as if I’d just crested a peak on a rollercoaster, and then it knotted as the beast’s eyes narrowed on me. It charged, smashing through the wall of glass between us.
A million shards crashed on the stone floor behind me. I was already on the move, instinct spurring me to run for the ballroom. Someone had to have heard all that. I expected an army of demons to come to my rescue any moment now.
When the double doors to the ballroom didn’t budge as I neared them, I felt a tremor of horror spread through my limbs. Really? Not anyone?
I tore my clutch out from under my arm and fumbled with the clasp until it clicked open. The can of angelica mace was the first thing I found, but my hands were shaking and sweaty, so it slipped from my grasp as soon as I pulled it out of the bag. It smacked against the stone floor. Then my high heel connected with it and sent it hurtling into the shadows.
Smooth.
I stuffed my hand back in the purse and kept running. The ballroom doors were coming up fast, and all I had left were my throwing stars. And a folding fan. Which, of course, was what I found next.
I chucked the fan over my shoulder with a frustrated shriek and went for the throwing stars, powering them on before tossing them behind me too. “Terminate pursuit! Terminate pursuit!”
Expecting the throwing stars to stop a creature that size was a long shot. They would irritate it at most. But it was all I could do at this point. The hem of my dress caught between my shoe and the stone floor, and I fell ass over elbows not ten feet from the ballroom entrance.
I threw my arms over my face and waited for the mauling to begin. When the beast leapt over me and smashed a hole through the ballroom doors, I was beyond relieved. Until I remembered that Bub was among the screaming guests just inside.
The beast’s tail stretched down the length of the foyer, slithering behind it like a nightmarish bridal train. It swished sideways, rolling its triangular spikes to one side where they were free to snag and tangle themselves in the tulle of my dress. One sliced up the inside of my calf and I gasped as sharp pain shot up my leg.
I tried to unsnare myself, but as soon as my hands wrapped around either side of the beast’s tail, it jolted forward, dragging me inside the ballroom along with it.
I slid across the ballroom floor and stopped right in front of the long stage where Bub and Asmodeus stood with the Hell Committee. The rest of the conventions guests had pressed themselves up against the outer walls of the room. They gaped in horror at the beast, and then their startled faces fell on me.
“This isn’t what it looks like.” I staggered to my feet and inched away from the creature. It watched us stoically now, content to chew the legs off an overturned table.
“Is that a Mishipeshu?”
“A water panther? I thought they were extinct.”
“It looks more like a horned serpent to me.”
Voices escalated into a frantic jumble. Someone tried to make for the exit but quickly retreated when the beast loosed a warning growl. Bub jumped down from the stage and took my elbow, pulling me into the protective circle of his arms.
“Where have you been? What is that thing?” he whispered against my temple.
Before I could summon an answer, the succubus stepped through the demolished double doors. She peeled off her ridiculous hat and threw it to the floor, as if discarding some magnificent disguise.
“Science has come to a head in Eternity,” she roared over the hushed whispers, rendering the room silent once again. “The Afterlife Council would have the sovereigns of Hell put down their most infamous companions like unwanted strays. The hellcats are all but vanished, and the few who remain in captivity have had their most glorious attributes bred out of them.”
Quizzical eyes sought out Hades and Persephone. They stood behind a wall of Persephone’s winged sirens, their personal guard that followed them everywhere. Hades held his chin high, refusing to be ashamed of the accusation being made against him.
“What are we hellions to do?” the succubus asked the room as she stepped in closer to the beast and proceeded to pet the scales that ran alongside the row of spikes down its spine. “Perhaps it’s time to take science into our own hands and show the council that they cannot neuter our most faithful companions without consequence.”
Her eyes slid across the room and paused on Bub, shifting to me as her monologue concluded. Unlike Hades, I felt my cheeks flare at the silent accusation. Bub was not neutered. He was here, joining the Hell Committee against my wishes. What the hell did she know?
“What have you done?” The million-dollar question came from Persephone. Her sentimentality had left the building, and she watched the creature with troubled eyes.
The succubus snickered and gave her a gloating grin. “Hell is full of ambitious and brilliant mortals. Did you really think you’d laid claim on the only one capable of crossbreeding monsters?”
“You will be charged for this,” Asmodeus said, looking down at her from the stage. He nodded at two demonic guards near the back wall, and they reluctantly inched closer to the succubus and her hybrid pet with trident-tipped spears that hissed with electricity.
“Ah ah ah.” She clicked her tongue at them. “I wouldn’t do that if I were you.”
One of the guards stabbed his spear at the beast’s tail. It let loose a bellowing roar and whipped its tail at the guard, throwing him across the room and into a huddled knot of guests.
The second guard didn’t have a chance. Before he could strike, the beast’s tail wrapped around his legs and waist. He howled as spikes dug into his flesh, and then he was ripped off his feet and slammed into the floor twice, before being launched like a missile over the stage and through an arched window. The committee ducked as shattered glass rained down on them.
The beast’s tail recoiled, and I spotted my two throwing stars stuck in its scaled hide. They’d done their best. Though it looked like they’d hardly registered as more than mosquito bites. I glanced desperately around the room, wondering if any of Hell’s elite had bothered to come more prepared than I.
“What’s the matter, reaper?” the succubus taunted me. “Not enjoying this blast from the past?”
“I’m sorry, have we met?” I asked, unable
to resist taking a bite out of her any way I could. Even if it put me at the top of her vengeance list. Which was clearly the result, I realized as she pointed the giant snake-tailed cat my way.
“Feast, my wicked gem,” she said with theatric gusto. It fell a little flat when the beast responded by licking one of its massive paws instead. “Feast!” the succubus shouted again, stabbing her finger in my direction.
Another demonic guard inched toward her, and when she realized her window was closing, her eyes dilated into hate-fueled pools of black. Taloned toes slipped out from under the hem of her dress as she squatted into a frog-like position. And then she propelled herself across the ballroom.
I stumbled back a step, startled to have her so suddenly in my face, with her blackened nails reaching for me. Bub pulled me back and stepped between us, using his body as a shield.
The succubus’ fingers dug into his shoulder, her metallic pinky slicing deeper than the others. It filleted open the material of his suit and found skin. Dark blood welled instantly. Bub hissed in the succubus’ face, his forked tongue curling back savagely. When her fanged mouth went for his neck, my hand shot out instinctively, landing a palm strike to her forehead that only seemed to enrage her further.
“Terminate foe! Terminate foe!” I shouted.
The succubus ignored my cyborg-ish chant and took a swipe at me over Bub’s shoulder. Her clawed fingertips grazed the collar of my dress, slicing through the tulle and drawing two burning lines of blood. When I flinched away, she resorted to slashing Bub’s suit to ribbons.
A nearby djinn rushed to our aid.
“Stay back!” I screamed, stopping him just shy of intercepting the throwing stars. They’d freed themselves from the creature’s hide and zipped across the room. One sank into the succubus shoulder blade, drawing a hair-raising screech from her twisted lips. It cut off abruptly as the second star embedded itself in the back of her skull.
Bub grunted as the succubus crumpled into a heap on the ballroom floor. Her silver pinky protruded from his shoulder, still rooted in his flesh. He yanked it free with a growl. “Dastardly wench.”
I sighed and ran a hand down the back of his arm, shivering as the rush of adrenaline faded.
A dozen nephilim guards in shiny armor stormed through the splintered doorway. Another dozen entered through the shattered window. Tranquilizers arched over the crowd, each one landing squarely in the creature’s scaled and barbed backside.
The silence was loaded, as if we were all holding our breaths. I knew I was anyway.
After a few impossibly long seconds, the beast made a sound that crossed somewhere between a whimper and a yawn. And then it flopped onto its side.
The guards set to work escorting the guests to safety, while a few remained behind to wrestle the beast into a set of chains that would hold it until they could transport it to a more suitable enclosure.
Please not Hades’ Ranch. Please not Hades’ Ranch.
I spied Jenni through the crowd and noticed her inconspicuously slip something off her finger. I caught a glimpse of brass and iron before she stuffed it into her clutch. I gawked at her until her eyes found mine and she made her way across the ballroom to stand beside me. I waited until Bub had wandered out of earshot before questioning her.
“Was that Solomon’s—”
Jenni cleared her throat and silenced me with a pointed glare.
I narrowed my eyes at her. “I thought Naledi had destroyed it.”
“Of course she did. That’s what I told all the newspapers too.”
The last time I’d seen the infamous seal had been when the Witch of Endor had tried to destroy Limbo City. I distinctly remembered watching it crumble into nothing at the throne soul’s touch. Apparently, some things could not be pulled out of existence so easily. I couldn’t be too disappointed though, not looking at the snoozing atrocity across the room.
Jenni smoothed a hand down the front of her leather dress, still pristine and unmarred by the recent ordeal. “We’re quite lucky the Nephilim Guard arrived in time to sedate the beast.”
“Lucky?” I put my hands on my hips and nodded down at my ruined dress. “You call this lucky?"
Jenni shrugged. “Turn it in as a business expense to Regina next week. I’ll sign off on it.”
“Really?”
“Most of it.” She gave me a teasing grin and turned to take Asmodeus’ arm as he joined us.
“What a night,” he said, shaking his head.
Bub handed the succubus’ silver finger to him with a crestfallen sigh. “I’ve suddenly recalled why I left the committee for a more simple life all those years ago. I’m afraid that’s all the breath I have to spare on a resignation, old sport.”
Asmodeus grimaced but he followed it up with a nod as he took in the destruction of the ballroom. “Can’t say I blame you.”
* * * * *
I swirled a toe over the surface of the river and waited for Ursula to return with her toy hubcap. There weren’t many shops that carried sea pet toys and products, but we made do.
Bub plopped down on the deck beside me, nudging Saul back as he scooted closer to me. He took a drink from his glass of ice water and then poured a bit over his bleeding shoulder that could be seen through a tear in his dress shirt. Saul lapped up the spilled water and then nuzzled his head in the narrow gap between our legs. Coreen and the helljacks napped a few feet away on the deck of the houseboat.
Bub stretched his neck and groaned. Then he yanked off what was left of his shredded tie and threw it out over the river. “Joining the Hell Committee was a terrible idea. Why in the bloody hell didn’t you stop me?”
“Me? Stop you? Ha!” I snatched his glass of water and took a long drink.
He bumped his shoulder playfully against mine, forgetting his injury, and then hissed through his teeth. I gave him a sympathetic smile and handed his ice water back before accepting the hubcap from a pair of Ursula’s persistent tentacles. I chucked it across the Styx and covered my face as she splashed off to fetch it again.
Bub crunched on a piece of ice and rested his head on top of mine. “What do you think an octopus and hellhound hybrid would look like?”
I answered without missing a beat. “An adorable, needy, slobbery disaster that eats everything in sight.”
“Sounds about right.”
I gave him a sideways glance and cocked an eyebrow. “Let’s hope we never find out for certain.”
Bub’s lips pursed thoughtfully. “It doesn’t sound quite war-hardy enough to merit a mad scientist’s soul anyway.”
“Agreed.” A grin touched my lips, and I decided our evening might not be entirely wrecked after all.
There would always be someone, somewhere, trying to destroy the peace. But that wasn’t going to stop me from enjoying the calm before the storm. However long it might last. It didn’t mean I wouldn’t be ready when the storm finally hit.
Life was a tricky tango, and getting through it meant knowing when to step forward and when to step back. But I’d done this dance long enough to know that the real secret was to enjoy the music.
Series Reading Order
Pre-Mortem
Dearly Departed
Graveyard Shift (Lana Harvey, Reapers Inc. Book 1)
Pocket Full of Posies (Lana Harvey, Reapers Inc. Book 2)
For the Birds (Lana Harvey, Reapers Inc. Book 3)
Psychopomp (Lana Harvey, Reapers Inc. Book 4)
Hair of the Hellhound
Death Wish (Lana Harvey, Reapers Inc. Book 5)
Season’s Reapings
Ghost Market (Lana Harvey, Reapers Inc. Book 6)
Hellfire and Brimstone (Lana Harvey, Reapers Inc. Book 7)
Death or Something Like It
Post-Mortem
Grim Haiku
I’ve never had a chance to fully engage in NaNoWriMo. I always seem to be in the middle of something when November rolls around. But a few years ago, I tried to play along by writing a haiku a day. Natur
ally, being the grim writer that I am, I felt compelled to theme my poems accordingly. And since this is the end of my journey with Lana, it seemed like an extra that would be fun to include in this collection. Here are a few of my favorites. (P.S. I am not a poet, and I know it.)
In shadows she waits
And leads him into the light
To be born again
Should I worry that
The gates are not made of pearl
And I smell sulfur?
If only heaven
Had advanced with us mortals
And you could phone home
When you breathe your last
In this shell of star matter
Smile and know you’re home
Give my flesh away
When I need it no longer
Death is life’s hero
Let’s skip hand in hand
If we die on the same day
Into the unknown
We are all worm food
Recycled atoms at play
Coming up for air
They wait with posies
Tucked in their pockets tonight
Bodies wrapped in white
Come hear my swan song
Let me haunt you longer still
Limbo City Lights (Lana Harvey, Reapers Inc.) Page 14
