by Nicole Casey
“Get a wife that won’t let you down, son. There are lots of pretty little duchesses and heiresses out there that will let you carry on with your lifestyle even after you get married. Heck, you can even get a mistress if you like the common touch.”
“Are you talking about a marriage of convenience?”
“Call it what you want, Adam. It is the smart move for the family and for the business.”
“I couldn’t…”
He had laughed bitterly while smoothing out his trademark moustache. There wasn’t a single photo of him at any age without that moustache.
“You’ll see sense eventually, Adam. We all do.”
Come to think of it, I had never heard him say anything nice about his own wife, the pretty but slightly dim duchess from central Europe.
Jessie stirred slightly and I put a blanket over her. Would I ever see her naked, happy, and utterly defenseless like this again?
It was a sunny day but the breeze on this giant river made it feel very chilly on the yacht. I was feeling a cold chill on my skin too but it was nothing to do with the weather.
Everything had been perfect last night but in the cold light of day, I could see that this relationship was doomed from the very start. Why hadn’t I controlled myself instead of diving in headfirst and getting my emotions all mixed up?
Now I was going to hurt Jessie and hurt myself at the same time. Which one of the two was most important to me? I couldn’t decide which came as a real surprise to me.
I looked at the map but honestly had no idea where we were. I could steer the yacht well enough but I had no idea how to read a map or work out our present coordinates. My captain was probably in Puerto Madero right now wondering what on Earth had happened.
Were we still in the might River Plate, the body of water that divided Argentina from Uruguay and the scene of historic World War Two battles? Or had we already drifted out into the Atlantic Ocean?
Perhaps we were heading towards the controversial, British controlled Falkland Islands that the Argentines still called Las Malvinas and were desperate to claim back? I had no real idea what else was out there, as we had flown into Buenos Aires rather than sailing in? Was the Antarctic close enough for there to be a real danger of us drifting down there?
A pair of silky smooth arms slipped around my waist. I had put my shorts on but I could feel that Jessie appeared to still be completely naked. Then I remembered that I had thrown her clothes overboard last night.
Her hands teased my shorts a little but she seemed to sense that something wasn’t quite right and she stopped abruptly.
I turned around and tried to paint a smile onto my face. I knew I had failed, though, as soon as I saw her expression.
“Jess, we’re a bit of an odd couple, aren’t we?”
She looked at me suspiciously and grabbed a sheet to cover herself up. The barriers she had joyously lowered last night were back up again and probably higher than ever before. That might not be a bad thing in the long run but it was tough to watch it happening in front of my eyes.
“What do you mean by that?”
“We’re from different worlds. My uncle…” I let the words trails off, as I genuinely had nothing to say.
“I still don’t know what you mean. Do you think I don’t belong on a rich playboy’s fancy yacht?” She looked around my favorite possession as though it disgusted her. “You’re probably right.”
My head was spinning out of control. All I wanted to do was hug her and make it all better but every word I said only made it worse.
“Maybe we just need to take things more slowly.”
“Ah, more slowly. Well, that’s rich coming from the guy who kidnapped me and then seduced me on his boat in the middle of the ocean.
“It’s a river.”
“Who cares? Just take me home.”
I stared out at the water. This was one of the widest rivers in the world and I couldn’t see land on either side. Uruguay should be over there to the right. Or was it now the left.
“You do know how to sail this heap of crap, don’t you?”
“Kind of.”
“What? So are we just kind of lost rather than really lost?”
“Just give me a minute.” I was in full-blown panic mode now but couldn’t afford to show it to Jessie.
“This rich kid’s toy must have some sort of radio or internet on it.”
“Yeah, about that…I was kind of getting the communication systems fixed in Buenos Aires.”
“Wait a minute. Are you telling me that you lured me onto a yacht that you can’t sail and that doesn’t have any radio or internet on it? What kind of stupid, spoiled little brat are you?”
Jessie’s words stung me but I had to admit that I had been foolish. The opportunity to spend time on here alone with her was too good to miss and I hadn’t thought things through at all.
“What about your cell phone, Jess? Mine has got hardly any battery left on it and I think Joe has the charger.”
“You threw it overboard along with my clothes.”
The words made me remember our night of passion last night. I looked down at her, still wrapped alluringly in a towel that left enough skin on show to get me excited.
“Stop looking at me. I’m going to find an old t-shirt to wear or something.”
Jessie went into the cabin and I stared out to sea all alone. The dark, open expanses of the sea always made me feel very small and insignificant, which is why I always avoided sailing alone.
The truth was that meeting Jessie had shown me how trapped I had become in a pathetic, artificial world of pointless luxury and gold plated frustration. She had nothing but had somehow found out the true meaning of the word freedom by just being herself at all times.
Could I learn how to be like her? If you had asked me at that moment whether I could give up all of my money to be with her then the answer was easy. I would have sunk that yacht with all of the expensive goods in it without a second thought.
Yet, I knew that it could never happen. I was only fooling myself if I tried to pretend that there was some sort of future waiting for us. We came from different worlds and we wanted different things from life.
Well, it seemed as though Jessie knew what she wanted but I was completely lost and had no idea what would make me happy apart from being with Jessie.
With no sign of land on the horizon, it was going to be a long trip for both of us.
Jessie
I put on a t-shirt that smelled of his after shave. There was a full-length mirror in the cabin and when I studied myself in it I realized that the t-shirt was too tight in all the wrong places. If I wore this it would seem as though I was deliberately trying to turn on.
I looked for another option in his massive wardrobe. Was I trying to turn him on? There is no doubt that I had chosen my best dress and underwear to go to the meeting in Puerto Madero, hoping against hope that he would rip my clothes off exactly like he had done.
However, those moments of wild abandon and passion had now passed. For some reason, he was acting all cold and distant again. It was almost as though last night had just been some sort of delicious, delirious dream.
Could it be that he had finally got what he wanted and now wasn’t bothered about me? No, that couldn’t be right, as I was sure that I had seen a real glimpse of the real Adam last night rather than some sort of pretense.
I had melted into his arms without putting up any real resistance in the end. The look of genuine desire and pleasure on his face had made me feel as though he was truly mine for a few hours.
Now he was drifting away from me just as this yacht was drifting out to sea aimlessly. I could try and reach him but what was the point when it was clear that we weren’t meant to be together?
Finally, I found a t-shirt that was baggy enough to make it difficult to work out if I was a woman or a man. I drew the line at using his boxer shorts and I couldn’t find any suitable shorts so I would have to get by with just the
t-shirt on.
I stood and watched the deep, dark water, hugging myself to stay warm. I felt so alone in the world for the first time since leaving home so long ago. After being strong and independent for so long I felt my defenses finally go down.
It was a struggle to hold back the tears. I had taken a gamble on getting close to a man who had a strange hold over my emotions but now I felt cheap and as though I had been cheated.
Out of the corner of my eye, I could see that Adam was walking towards me. I had to pull myself together and not let him see that I was hurting. He had no idea that I had been dreaming of building a long, lasting relationship with him.
It would be best if I tried to act like he was; as though it had been a cheap, meaningless one night fling.
“Hey Jess.” There was a sadness in his deep voice that cut through me. “I’ve got some food out on the table if you want to join me.”
I was starving but the idea of sitting down beside him was too much to bear. He saw me wavering.
“Come on, you must be as hungry as I am.”
It felt weird to sit beside him in the stately dining room. We had ripped each other’s clothes off just a few hours ago but now we were like a pair of strangers brought together for a business lunch.
I don’t even know what we ate or what it tasted like. Presumably, it was expensive and delicious but I just swallowed it because I needed something in my stomach. Adam was playing with his food and ate even less than me.
“Have you been to Brazil before?” He surprised me with the question while my mouth was full.
“No. I was planning to go there after Buenos Aires and the Iguazu Falls.”
“I had my 18th birthday party in Rio.”
“Was it…nice?” I literally had nothing to say but I had to force out some sort of words.
“It was…different. It was the day my parents died when they took a helicopter ride over Rio to fly a big Happy Birthday banner.”
“I’m sorry.” The thought that he could have had loneliness and tragedy in his life had never struck me before. “Who did you live with after that?”
“My uncle. He is looking after the company until I get handed the whole thing next year.”
“Wow. Are you going to take over the company then?”
“I think so.” He had come over to sit beside me and for the first time, I could really study his eyes and his expression up close.
There was a sort of sadness there that I longed to help him shift. This guy was a real enigma. I had no idea what he wanted from life, or from me, that could make him feel better somehow.
“Don’t you sometimes just want to give it all up and run away?”
“Sometimes?” He laughed bitterly and stared at his shoes. “It’s all I’ve wanted to do for the last year.”
“So?”
“So?”
“Why don’t you?”
“I can’t. This is my life.” He waved his hands around the inside of the yacht. I could see it turn into a luxurious, elegant prison cell in front of my eyes.
“Lives change, Adam.” I think it might have been the first time I had said his name out loud and it just felt right. “I changed mine.”
“Why the Hell did you go to the jungle, anyway? Were you really planning to save the planet?
He poured us each a big glass of red wine. I normally hated the stuff but I took a big swig and enjoyed the sensation of it slipping down my throat like velvet.
“I needed to save myself first of all. I was bored and my life was going nowhere. It was the right time to challenge myself.”
“Weren’t you scared?”
It was the first time that a stranger had asked me all of these personal questions so I had to think for a second before answering.
“Terrified. The first night in the jungle reserve I nearly fainted when a big bug landed on my leg.”
“How did you get over it? The fear, I mean.”
“I don’t know. It just kind of happens little by little. The other night I knocked a giant cockroach off my bed and I realized that I wasn’t a scared little girl anymore.”
The glasses were empty and it was now completely dark outside. Adam filled them with some more wine.
“Do you think I could…?” He stopped in mid-sentence and I could have sworn that his normally arrogant and insolent eyes were filling up with tears. He went and walked over to the deck.
Should I go to him and tell him he could change his life if he wanted to? Should I tell him that his future was in his own hands and that I was there to help him if he wanted me to be? It was all so confusing that I stayed in my chair and finished my wine.
Finally, I got up and went to him.
Just as I was about to hold him or open my mouth or do whatever my brain told me to do, a loud screeching noise came from the other side of the boat.
We got thrown to the deck and a huge wave washed over us. I was choking on salty water and Adam was nowhere to be seen.
We were sinking.
Adam
I lay on the sandy beach spluttering and coughing. I had no idea where I was but it was clear that we had hit land that neither of us had ever seen.
It had taken me an eternity to reach the beach. I was a strong swimmer thanks to all of the family’s private pools but I now felt my body tired and aching after the struggle against the tide.
My ears were ringing and my mouth was dry and salty. I tried to get up but something was holding me down. When I eventually managed to turn around I saw a large piece of wood pinning my leg down onto the sand.
“Jess! Jess!” My voice came rasping out, hoarse and feeble. Oh God, where had she gone? I would never be able to forgive myself if anything had happened to her because of me.
What if the island was populated by wild animals or savages? Were there even still savages that lived on islands in this part of the world? I wished that I had learned how to read maps and sail properly before leaving home.
I think I lost consciousness for a few minutes or maybe a few hours. Anyway, when I opened my eyes again I looked around the beach in panic. There was a bundle of clothes over at the other side of the beach that I thought hadn’t been there before.
Was that my t-shirt that Jessie had been wearing? I thought I could see her tousled blond hair on top of it.
I struggled like a man possessed and finally managed to get the wood off my leg. There was blood on my thigh but I ignored it and limped towards Jessie.
God, please let her be okay. I had never had a reason to pray before but I found myself doing it now. I wanted her to be okay more than anything ever before in my whole life.
As I got closer I could hear that Jessie was groaning slightly. She was in pain but at least she was alive.
I somehow managed to lift her up to carry her further up the beach and then laid her out under a palm tree. My leg was hurting but I was drawing strength from some inner reserve that I hadn’t even known existed until now.
She looked so small and helpless in my big t-shirt that I swore to myself there and then that I would protect her from all dangers even if it meant putting my own life at risk. I had no idea what to do to help her, so I just stood over her and looked, while desperately praying to the heavens.
By the time the first light of day appeared I was still crouched over her. I hadn’t moved all night long and now I was rewarded by the sight of her eyes slowly opening. There was a confused and hurt look in them that was painful to see.
The first day passed uneventfully. There was no sign of people or of wild animals on the island and Jessie still hadn’t spoken. My leg wasn’t too badly injured after all, while Jessie appeared to be more shocked and exhausted than hurt.
As Jessie got stronger I left her alone for a few minutes to go and gather some wood. I had no idea what to do with the wood but gather wood was the first thing that people always seemed to do on survival programs so it had to be worth doing.
It was something to occupy my mind and my hands.
In some way, it worked, as I felt slightly soothed when I had finished the task.
The island was pretty and at any other time, I would have been happy to spend some time on it. We had landed in a big bay with a long sandy beach and some trees behind it. Mountains rose behind the trees and it was anyone’s guess what was on the other side.
It looks like Paradise but felt like Hell right now.
I was trying hard not to panic at the thought of being stuck here for days or weeks. How long could we survive here with very little food or drinking water? My phone was no longer in my pocket but the battery had died last night anyway, so there was no way of getting in touch with anyone who could help us right now
How long would it be before Joe or my uncle started looking for us? How would they even know where to start?
When I had finished gathering some wood I went over to check out Jessie. Her eyes were open but she still looked a bit weak and sickly, which was only to be expected.
I tried to hold her hand but she pulled it away from me. What the heck was wrong now? Hadn’t I been looking after her since we got here?
“Hey Jess, let me hold your hand.”
“This is your fault. You took me out on a boat that you couldn’t sail and that had no radio on it.”
I felt more ashamed of myself than at any other point in my life. She was right, it was all my fault.
I had let my hormones take over and sailed her out of Buenos Aires with thinking of the dangers for even one second.
It was all I could do fight back the tears of bitterness and helplessness. Every time I got close to her something went wrong that put us all the way back to square one.
“I…I’m going to set up camp over there. To give you peace.” I tried to sound strong and decisive rather than pathetic but I knew right away that I had failed.
“That’s right. Run away from your problems. That’s all you spoiled brats can do. You cause problems and break people’s heart then wait for someone else to clean up the freaking mess.”
Did she say that I had broken her heart? It was a tiny piece of hope to cling to as I walked away. If I had broken her heart then it meant that there was still hope of repairing the damage.
