I couldn’t help the lingering smile as I walked back into the living room. It was the hardest thing I had ever done, keeping my distance from the one man to whom I felt my soul belonged. I wanted to shout it from rooftops, and all that lame shit. I wanted to stand proudly at his side.
I wanted to kiss him for the genuine smile my son beamed at me when he opened that huge box full of racecars, trucks, and train pieces Mason had given him. As it was, I couldn’t even stand near him because I didn’t want anyone to see how my body naturally reacted to him. I couldn’t take the chance of accidentally touching him the ways that had become so habitual.
So we stood on opposite ends of the room, we made small talk with our family and friends, and we counted down the minutes until we could be alone together. In that moment, I started to see why we needed to tell people. I couldn’t keep living a life where I had to pretend I wasn’t as blissful as I was. We had to own our truth, even if it put us in conflict with everyone we loved.
The day did come where we had planned to tell our families. I called the same babysitter I had hired to watch Ash for Leah’s wedding and asked her to take him to the park or to her house. I didn’t need my child getting hurt when shit really hit the fan.
Mason was pacing back and forth in my living room. “I’m so sweaty. Is this shirt okay? Do I look like a scumbag?” he asked, coming to a halt.
“How would a shirt make you look like a scumbag when you aren’t a scumbag? The shirt makes you look like the amazing man that you are, Mason.” I told him the truth, and he exhaled in relief. But he was still buzzing with nervous energy.
“Will is never going to speak to me again after this. He might even kill me,” he said, looking so sad and broken.
“He will speak to you again. He’ll need time, but he will get over it. They all will.”
“Maybe I should tell him alone, man to man. He is my best friend and all. He might take it better if I tell him.”
I shook my head. “We’re better as a team. We’re partners, and they’ll see that we’re in this together.”
Mason threw out a few curse words and then went to the kitchen and took a very large shot of whiskey. I figured if we were going to be a team, he shouldn’t drink alone. I grabbed the bottle out of his hands and took an equally large swallow.
“Fuck, you’re sexy,” he said, kissing me. But we didn’t have time to take the kiss any further because my doorbell rang just as soon as we began. I took my time getting to the foyer, knowing Mason was minutes away from the attack of a lifetime. Then I took a deep breath and opened the door.
“Mom, Dad, hi!” I pulled them in for warm hugs, and I might have even lingered just a little longer.
“Hey, Sweetheart,” my dad said back, kissing me on the forehead.
“Where’s my little grandbaby?” my mom asked, walking around to look for Ash.
“He’s with a babysitter. I wanted to talk to you guys without his cute interruptions.”
She took my answer with hesitation, and then stopped dead in her tracks when she saw Mason sitting at my dining room table. My mother was no fool. She knew when to be worried, even if she hadn’t made the complete connection yet. My dad, on the other hand, didn’t even blink.
“Mase! What’s up, brother? Thought I saw your truck out front.” He moved toward Mason, and Mason stood and gathered him in for a hug.
“Willy Boy, hey.” Mason hugged him back, a little tighter than usual.
“So, what’s going on?” my dad finally asked, looking around at us for answers.
“Have a seat,” I said, gesturing to the sofa in my living room. “Can I get you a drink?” I asked when they didn’t move to the sofa. I was stalling.
“Do I need a drink, Scarlet?” my mother asked, knowing all too well what I was doing.
I laughed uncomfortably, and Mason took that as his cue to just come right out and say it since I was obviously stalling. “Will, Eliza, I—”
“I’m in love with Mason,” I shouted, cutting Mason off.
“Don’t do that,” Mason said.
“Do what? It’s true, isn’t it?” He was irritated I was turning this all on myself.
“No, Scarlet, it’s not. We’re in love with each other. This is a two-way street. You don’t get to own all the blame.”
“Excuse me!” my mother yelled, cutting off our little argument.
“What the fuck did you just say?” my father asked, standing straight up. He wasn’t looking at me. No, his hate-filled glare was fixed completely on Mason.
“I love her, Will.” Without a chance for more conversation, my dad leaped across the room and clocked Mason square in the jaw.
“Dad!” I yelled, jumping in to stop him, but it was too late. Mason didn’t attempt to defend himself or fight back, he just took the punch like he already owned that pain.
I however, moved between the two men I loved so dearly.
“Scarlet, stop,” Mason said, holding his jaw as I pushed my father off him.
“She’s my little girl! You fucked my kid! You goddamn bastard! You rapist piece of shit!” my dad yelled, pushing toward him again. He shoved Mason at the shoulders, and Mason just stood there, tears filling his eyes, and blood dripping down his chin.
I looked to my mother, who hadn’t said anything or tried to intervene. She looked devastated. I didn’t understand her pain. I was happy for the first time in a very long time, and she was crying, looking at Mason like he had hurt me.
“I’m not a kid. I’m an adult,” I yelled at my father who was pacing the floors, a lot like Mason did before they got here. His hands were still balled into fists at his side, and I know he was using a lot of restraint, trying not to kill Mason.
“How long has this been going on?” my mother asked, looking at Mason.
“A few months,” I answered.
“How long, Mason?” my mother asked again, ignoring me completely. Mason spat blood into the kitchen sink and turned to look at her.
“Too long,” he said. But I hated that answer because it wasn’t true. Not the whole truth, at least.
My father blindsided Mason, kicking him behind the knees as he stood off guard, facing the other way. Then as Mason fell to his knees, my dad’s hands went around his neck and he squeezed.
“No!” I screamed, pushing my father away, but I wasn’t strong enough. I couldn’t move him. The fight came to Mason, and he scratched at my father’s hands, but he too, wasn’t strong enough to stop him.
I began hitting my dad over and over in the arms, just trying to get him to let up, but it was as if he couldn’t hear me. He was blind to everything but hurting his best friend that had fallen in love with his daughter. He wasn’t listening to anything but his rage inside. I just screamed Mason’s name over and over and over.
My dad eventually let go, and Mason fell to his hands, gasping for air. He sounded wheezy, gargling on snot and tears, as he tried to pull air into his lungs. I fell to him, throwing my arms around him, careful not to hurt him more. Seeing that he was okay gave me a second wind. I could feel the blood pumping furiously in my ears, and my entire face felt like it was on fire. I was spitting mad.
I shoved at my father’s chest, as hard as I could, and yelled, “You will sit the fuck down and hear me explain, or you will never see me or your grandson again!”
Like a bull, he dragged air in and out of his nose loudly, but he crossed his arms defiantly and sat. By that time my mother had dropped her face in her hands and was loudly sobbing into her arms, so I approached her.
“You need to sit and listen too. There is a lot to say, and you need to hear it,” I instructed, and she nodded, face still a sobbing mess. She wasn’t as much of a fighter. She broke in situations like this.
With them settled in chairs in my dining room, Mason sat up and rested his back against the bottom cabinets; coincidentally right where I poured my heart out to him in a pool of water under the sink before he fixed it a few short months ago.
Hi
s face was turned up to the ceiling and rested against the cabinet door, but I knew he was still with me as a team. I told my story and hoped my parents would understand and forgive us both one day because I had no intention of letting Mason get away regardless of how my parents took the news.
“I fell in love with Mason when I was thirteen years old,” I admitted. Both of my parents cringed at that admission. “Back then I was just a silly girl with a crush, and he was none the wiser. He was completely respectful and appropriate, and our relationship was nothing more than you’ve always known it to be.”
I paused. “As I got older, my crush didn’t go away. I fell more and more in love with him and I began comparing all the boys I knew to him. I liked him so much, they never had a chance. And then I met Freddy. He still had very little chance, and I constantly compared him to Mason.”
I glanced at Mason, and his eyes were glued to me. He was crying, and he was listening. “I made a move on Mason when I turned eighteen, and he pushed me away. For good reason, I see that now. But it broke me back then because I was too young to understand. So I dated Sebastian, and that was more of a mistake than Fredrick and Mason combined.
“I had no business trying to be anything more than friends with Sebastian. We never felt anything more than that, and everything we did was forced and wrong. I was miserable with him. Then I dated and married Freddy, as you know, and that too was a disaster of epic proportions.
“God rest him, he wasn’t meant to be a husband. That man was meant to be a bachelor, and in many ways, though I did love him deeply, I regret letting him love me back because I believe his love for me held him back from the life he was always supposed to live.
“I can’t regret him too much, because he gave me Ash, and for him, I will always be grateful. But then Mason showed up again in my life, and he’s taken such good care of me and shown me how a man is actually supposed to treat a woman. With as much love and respect as Dad treats you, Mom.”
My mother had stopped crying and was just listening.
“So you don’t have to like it, and you can take as much time as you need to really come to terms with it. But know that I am in love with Mason, and yes, he is in love with me back; and we are going to try to make this work, with or without your blessing. But we would prefer to have the two people in our lives that have been there for us both in different ways.”
“Does Leah know?” my father asked, and I shook my head. “I need to get out of here,” he said, standing up. Mason scrambled to stand too, looking to his best friend for answers.
“Will—” he began, but my dad cut him off with a hand up.
“No. I don’t get it, Mason. I can’t even look at you right now. Don’t speak to me. Don’t speak to my wife. I need space. I don’t think I can forgive you, not after this. I will say this one thing and then I’m gone. She’s been through enough. She doesn’t need another selfish asshole in her life. You want to be a good man? A man worthy of our forgiveness? Treat her like the goddamn princess that she is. But you hurt her, and you’re dead to me.”
Mason nodded, though my father wasn’t even looking at him. My mother made eye contact with Mason as she followed my father out, and she said everything with her eyes. She looked betrayed. Then she opened her mouth and sealed the coffin shut.
“I’ve known you since you were just a boy of eighteen. I know there’s a good man in there somewhere. I’ve never been disappointed in you until this very moment, which is confusing. Because at this moment you don’t look like Mason at all. You look like a monster.”
Then they left, and Mason didn’t cry. He didn’t fall to his knees. He didn’t get angry. He just stared at the floor where his best friend had choked him close to death on his knees, and his blood that accented my granite tile.
I went to wrap my arms around him, but he pulled out of my embrace with his arms up in surrender. He almost looked dazed, like for a second he didn’t know where he was or even who he was.
“I’m sorry, Scarlet. I just need to be alone. Just for a little while.”
I nodded but asked him to stay so I could look after him. He was in pain after all, and I didn’t just mean the heavy emotional pain. His mouth was still bleeding, and a purple bruise was beginning to blanket his tanned neck.
He fell to my bed, curled up on his side, and just stared at the wall for the longest time. I respected his wishes and left him. But the place that I went would have upset him more if he had known.
I pulled up to Leah’s apartment she shared with Sebastian and parked my car. She was expecting me, but the only warning she had so far was from my text telling her I needed to talk to her about something important. She was already standing at the door when I walked up to her porch, and nerves hit me instantly upon seeing her lovely face. The last thing I wanted was to be treated by her like Mason was treated by my father.
“What’s wrong? You look like you’ve been crying.” She opened the door wide, welcoming me in, and then she pulled me in for a hug. Like with my parents, I held on to her a little too tight and a little too long. Then I came right out and told her everything.
I told her everything I had told my parents an hour ago. I told her how my father reacted. I told her that Mason wanted to tell her with me, but that I gave him no choice, telling her before he got the chance because I didn’t want him to get called a monster again.
I poured my heart out, and she sat there silently cringing. Then finally I told her about Sebastian catching us kissing outside her wedding reception, and about how I had made him promise to hold off on telling her until I got the chance to be honest with her. Then she got mad.
Up until that point, she seemed worried and grossed out, but the moment I brought Sebastian into it she was angry. “You made him lie to me, on my wedding night?” I took a lesson from Mason’s strength and didn’t make excuses. I didn’t deny it. I told her I did, and then I prepared to take whatever reaction she had to give.
“That’s fucked up, you know?” she said, and I nodded and told her that I did know that.
“The whole thing is fucked up, I know. But I can’t say that I would change it. Because I’m so happy with him in my life. I feel complete when he is around. The only thing that has ever felt wrong about loving him is how you and my parents would get hurt by it.”
“So you’re saying you’re okay with lying to me? That you’d do it again?” she asked.
“I’m not okay with lying to you. I love you. You’re my best friend. I’m not okay with lying to my mom and dad, either. But I was willing to lie to you, and I’d do it again if it meant I wouldn’t have to lose you or Mason.”
When Leah didn’t say anything, I went on. “You know, I came onto him when I was eighteen, and he pushed me away. Not because he didn’t want me back, but because he knew it was fucked up and because he also didn’t want to hurt you. He can’t stand the thought of you hating him like my dad now does. I know I have no right to tell you to be okay with this. I know you’re confused and you need time. But I just don’t want Mason to get hurt again.”
“Okay. Say I pretend this is all okay, and we just agree to go on and act like this is completely normal and doesn’t gross me the fuck out and make your dad feel murdery. Have you stopped to think about what happens then? Are you going to have kids? Give me a little sister or brother? Like that wouldn’t be completely fucked up. It’s fucking gross.
“What happens now that the big secret is out and it’s no longer exciting and special? Are you going to be another woman that loves him and leaves him? You know, let him help you around the house and raise Ash for a while. Then get bored with him and leave him lonely and truly alone yet again, like my mother did. Like Emma did.”
I was shocked speechless.
She wasn’t angry at Mason. She was worried for him. As much as I wanted to be that person, Leah was really the only person that had never hurt Mason, that had always loved him unconditionally.
“I can’t promise things will work out.
I don’t have those answers. But I have loved him since before I even understood what those feelings meant, and I can promise I will continue to love him when everything blows over. I will continue to love him when our lives become routine and monotonous. I will continue to love him, Leah.”
“You realize this means we can’t talk about sex anymore, right? I’m married to your ex, and you’re sleeping with my dad. Sex is completely off the table of conversation now.” I nodded, trying desperately not to upset her any further. “And I will never call you my stepmom, so let’s get that straight right this second too.” I nodded again.
“But I could never stop loving my dad. He’s always been the best person in my life, and nothing he could do and no one that he could love would ever change my love for him. Tell him I need time, and that I don’t fucking understand how this happened or is even possible. Tell him that I love him and I’ll get through this. We all will. Because I love you too. Though I don’t want to hug you right now because I’m seriously still grossed out. This is disgusting, and I hope I wake up right now and find out this was all some sick, cruel joke.”
I left feeling a little lighter about the entire situation. I felt free and hopeful. I just hoped Mason would forgive me for taking away his right to tell Leah about us. I hoped in time he would see that I did it because I was in pain seeing him attacked, and I needed to protect him. It wasn’t fair that he got attacked and I didn’t because I was the younger one when I was the reason we were in this mess to begin with.
Sure, he may have been attracted to me since before or right around the time that I came onto him, but for the majority of our relationship, I was the one holding all the cards. I was the one in control. All he was guilty of was loving me back.
Eighteen
Mason wasn’t mad at me for telling Leah. He was numb. Truth is, I don’t think he even noticed that I told him she took the news better than expected. Either that, or he didn’t believe me. I crawled into bed behind him after picking Ash up from the sitter’s house and putting him to bed.
This is Not a Fairytale Page 14
