by Cassia Leo
“A chance to do what?”
He doesn’t answer right away, so I begin typing a response to Liam. Houston grabs my phone and gently slips it out of my hands. He lays the phone facedown on the coffee table and smiles as he opens the Sierra Nevada box.
I gasp when I see the ring lying on its side. “What is that?”
He lifts my chin up so he can look me in the eye. “I bought this engagement ring for you two weeks before we broke up.”
I clutch my chest as I try to keep breathing. “What? I don’t understand. You… you said we couldn’t get married. You… you broke my heart.”
“It was the biggest mistake of my life. I could see it then and I can see it even more now. Letting you go was the single stupidest thing I’ve ever done.” He plucks the ring out of the box and sets the box on the table next to my phone, then he holds the ring between his thumb and forefinger. “Rory, you’re the only one who knows me, which is kind of sick because I spent so much of our time together lying to you.”
I shake my head in disbelief. “What do you mean?”
He blinks back tears. “There’s so many things you don’t know about me that I need to tell you, so you’ll understand everything that happened back then and afterward.” He takes my hand and my entire body trembles, the way it did when I thought he was going to propose to me five years ago. But this time, he lays the ring in the palm of my hand and closes my fingers around it. “This is yours. It’s my promise to you. I swear I’m going to do everything I can to get that ring on your finger.”
I squeeze my fist around the ring, savoring the sharp prick of the diamond as it digs into my skin. “Houston, I’d rather have the truth than this ring.”
“That ring is my promise to tell you the truth, but only when the time is right. I need to get out of my marriage first. I need you to know how serious I am first.” He takes my face in his hands again and I draw in a sharp breath. “Promise me you’ll wait for me and I promise I’ll tell you everything.”
I would be stupid to make that kind of deal with a married man, but Houston isn’t just any man. He’s the only man I’ve ever loved. He may be the only man I’ll ever love. I can’t risk throwing it all away again.
“It’s about us,” I whisper.
He looks confused. “What are you talking about?”
“The book. It’s the story of us.”
He sighs as if he’s been waiting to hear these words all his life. “I hope it never ends.” He brushes a tear from my cheek and kisses my forehead. “Wait for me.”
I nod and wrap my arms around his waist to bury my face in his chest. He holds me tightly for a long while, occasionally kissing the top of my head and rubbing my back. I breathe in the scent of his warm skin through his T-shirt and I find myself not wanting to let go. Like we could stand here for the rest of our lives and I’d be perfectly content.
A while later, it could be ten minutes or ten days, Houston tilts my face up and the smile on his face makes my heart happy. He leans in to kiss me and I have no desire to stop him anymore. He may not be mine on paper, but I know his heart is mine. I can feel it in the way he kisses me, exactly the way he used to kiss me. Like we’ve picked up right where we left off, never skipping a beat.
His fingers are tangled in my hair, tugging lightly so my mouth falls open in a silent gasp. Seizing the opportunity, he pushes his tongue farther inside. I close my lips around his tongue and suck gently. His moans drive me crazy. I bob my head a little to give him a preview of what’s to come. Then, I release his tongue and smile as I tuck the ring into my pocket.
Reaching up, I coil my arms around his solid neck. His arms lock around my hips as he lifts me up, like I weigh about as much as a sparrow. My legs curl around his waist and I tilt my head back as he kisses my neck.
“I missed you,” I whisper.
“I missed the fuck out of you, Scar.”
I laugh so hard I almost choke on my saliva. “You killed it.”
He carries me over to the sofa and lays me down with the utmost of ease. “What are you talking about? I’m just getting started. Can you feel the love tonight?”
I sigh as he slides his hand under my T-shirt and settles himself between my legs. “I can feel something.”
His fingers squeeze my breast. “So can I.”
He kisses me hard and I lose myself in him until we’re a tangled mess of hot, unrestricted desire. Suddenly, his T-shirt and my shirt and bra are off and I don’t remember removing them. He’s still so good at operating in stealth mode while I’m lost in the throes of lust.
His lips are hot and firm as he kisses his way down to my breast. My back arches the moment he takes my nipple into his mouth. The throbbing between my legs intensifies as he firmly squeezes my other nipple. Tangling my fingers in his hair, I slide my hands down to his shoulders, digging my fingernails into his skin as he devours my sensitive flesh.
“Oh, God, Houston.”
“What do you want me to do to you?” he whispers as he kisses his way to my other breast.
Just hearing him ask the question makes me writhe with anticipation, but it’s been so long since we’ve been together, I don’t know if I remember how to do this.
He kisses his way down to my navel, his fingers poised on the button of my jeans as he looks up at me with a cunning smile. “I’m going to make you come so hard tonight.”
I swallow hard as he undoes my button. “Oh, God.”
He slowly eases me out of my jeans, smiling when he sees my pink G-string. Tracing his finger downward along the lacy edge, he stops when his hand is between my legs. He looks up at me, watching my reaction as he slips his finger beneath the fabric and easily finds my clit. My abdominal muscles tighten and I try to focus on breathing as he gently teases me with the soft pad of his finger.
“Look me in the eye.”
I gaze back at him, my mouth gaping as he strokes my clit. He varies the pressure, first soft and then firm, then soft again. I pant steadily, my mewls subdued by my insecurity.
“Let go, baby,” he reassures me.
I bite my lip as I look him in the eye and swallow my reserve. My hips buck in time with the rhythm of his hand. And almost instantly, the orgasm hits me in waves. My body curls inward feeding the fiery hunger in his eyes. He holds me tighter, his gaze fixed on mine as my legs twitch with the force of the pleasure. My body spasms uncontrollably as he continues to stroke me, and I get a strong urge to push his hand away. The pleasure is so intense it’s almost painful.
“This is mine,” he murmurs as he caresses me. “Say it.”
I exhale a sharp breath coupled with a moan as the orgasm reaches epic levels. “It’s yours.”
My thighs tremble and I let out a few sharp whimpers, but he continues until the orgasm passes. He’s going for orgasm number two.
“You’re going to come so many times tonight, you’ll be begging me to stop just so you can catch your breath.”
I haven’t been touched in so long, the second orgasm comes easily. He smiles as he slides his hand back and slowly pulls my panties off. The moment his mouth is on me, I throw my head back and let out a loud sigh.
“Holy shit.”
His tongue swirls around my clit, torturing me, until orgasm number three begins. He senses it, so he pulls his head back and slides two fingers inside me. I look down and he’s watching me so he can see when he’s found my G-spot. He curls his fingers inside me, massaging in a firm back-and-forth motion until he locates it. My body jumps a little and he smiles as he focuses his stroking on that one sensitive area.
Then his mouth is on me again and the pleasure is almost too much to handle. I grab fistfuls of his hair and try not to kick him as he brings me to orgasm again. He reaches up to tweak my nipple, keeping his mouth closed around my clit. My body quakes violently as he stimulates me beyond the point of comprehension. Until I feel as if I’m panting so hard I’m going to black out.
When he’s done, he plants a soft kiss on the
inside of my thigh and moves to get up. I watch in wonderment as he stands from the sofa and strips before me. He’s more beautiful than I remembered. His perfect pecs and abs flow effortlessly into his oblique muscles, which draw a glorious arrow pointing down toward his velvety smooth erection.
He settles down on top of me and I coil my arms around his muscular shoulders as he kisses me deeply. His erection rubs against my sensitive clit as his hips thrust slowly back and forth, using my moisture to massage me and work me into a frenzy.
I push his shoulders back so I can look him in the eye. “Put it in… please.”
The left corner of his mouth curves upward, then we both look down to watch as he slowly slides his cock inside me.
“Fuck,” he hisses, as he pushes in a bit farther. “You’re so tight.” He plunges into me a little at a time, watching my face to see my reaction. “Have you been with anyone else?” He freezes with half his erection inside me when I shake my head. “Really?”
I would expect myself to feel embarrassed about this, but I’m not. I shouldn’t be ashamed of the fact that I don’t want to have casual sex.
“Is that weird?” I reply.
He smiles and kisses my forehead. “It’s not weird. It’s sexy as fuck.”
He lifts my leg a little so he can slide farther into me. It takes a few minutes, but he finally gets his entire erection inside me and I gasp when he hits my cervix.
His brow furrows as he looks me in the eye. “Am I hurting you?”
I shake my head. “I don’t think I’ve ever been this happy to feel a bit of pain.”
He leans down to whisper in my ear. “I love you, Scar.”
I tighten my arms and legs around him and close my eyes as I attempt to burn this moment into my memory. “I love you, too.”
He pulls his head back a little and grabs my face, forcing me to look him in the eye. “I love you, baby, but tonight I’m going to fuck you until you question that.” He smiles and plants a kiss on the tip of my nose as he thrusts his hips back and forth. “I’ve been waiting five long years for this.”
I whimper as he moves in and out of me. His considerable girth gently stretches the walls of my pussy, tenderizing me, preparing me for whatever he has in mind.
I gaze back at him as I whisper, “I’m ready. And I’ll never question that.”
25. Houston
Five years ago, January 3rd
* * *
“What are you here for today, young man?”
I swallow hard as I try to work up the courage to say what’s on my mind. “My sister died last month and I… I’ve been having trouble sleeping, and I’ve… been feeling sort of… sad. Is there something you can give me to make it go away?”
Dr. Greene flashes me a tight smile. “Being sad is not a disease that I can prescribe medication for. Depression is a disease for which I can prescribe an antidepressant, but it is not the same as being sad. Being sad is a single symptom of depression. And depression is not the same thing as grief.”
I sigh audibly. “Can’t you just give me something to make it go away?”
“Make what go away?”
I want to shout, The fucking grief! But my subconscious beats me to it. “The memories.”
Dr. Greene casts a pitiful look in my direction and that’s when I realize I’ve diagnosed my own disorder. And I know exactly how to treat it.
I don’t need drugs for depression. I need alcohol for forgetting.
I slide off the exam table and grab my coat off the plastic chair. “Sorry I wasted your time. I made a mistake.”
By the time I hop into the driver’s seat of my truck, I’m shaking like a leaf as the memory of Hallie’s death replays in my mind. I told myself I would get over that by getting revenge on the person responsible for her death, but nothing I’ve done over the past month has brought the justice Hallie deserves. I’ve only made things even more complicated. I’ve fallen in love with the person I intended to destroy.
26. Rory
August 25th
* * *
All day long, no matter what I do or where I go, I can’t seem to get rid of the giddy, nerves-zinging sensation. I discussed my thoughts on the wedding vows with Benji and couldn’t stop thinking of the engagement ring tucked inside the pocket of my jeans. As Bella taught me how to make a billion different espresso drinks, I grinned stupidly while imagining Houston standing naked in my kitchen, gulping a postcoital glass of water. While passing the produce department on my way out of work, I smiled coyly at the sight of the bananas. So when I step onto the sidewalk outside the store, where Kenny waits to walk me home, he instantly spots me grinning from ear to ear. There will be no hiding from him what happened last night.
Kenny looks me up and down and cocks an eyebrow. “You got your kitten smashed.”
I shrug as I fall into step beside him. “Maybe.”
“By the lumberjack?”
I chuckle at this. “That’s quite a violent image you’ve conjured, but no. Not the lumberjack.”
He grabs my arm and stops me in the middle of the sidewalk on Burnside. “You have another suitor I don’t know yet? That’s not allowed, Aurora.”
“Suitor? I didn’t realize I needed permission from Sir Kenneth to get my kitten smashed.”
“Who is he? Whoever he is better not cut into our quality time.”
I smile as I lock arms with him and continue down Burnside. “I can’t really say too much about it. He’s…” I glance around as if any of the random strangers walking around us are interested in our conversation. “He’s married,” I whisper just loud enough for Kenny to hear.
“Oh, my goodness,” he gasps, covering his mouth. “I didn’t know you were such a slut.”
I nudge his shoulder. “I’m not a slut. It’s complicated. He’s my first love. And the only guy I’ve ever been with.”
He shakes his head as if he’s trying to physically clear away his confusion. “Whoa, whoa. Wait. So, have you been with this guy the whole time he’s been married? I’m so confused… and intrigued.”
“No, we broke up five years ago while we were in college. Then he got married and… We ran into each other at the Belmont store.”
“While you were working there with me?”
I nod and he gasps.
“Oh, my God, Rory. Was it that guy in the back of the store?”
I nod again and his eyes widen.
“He’s gorgeous,” he replies, continuing down Burnside. “I am truly jealous.”
“You don’t think I’m a disgusting human being for having sex with a married man? It was only one night, but I do feel slightly, or maybe totally, ashamed.”
He slows down to a stroll and flashes me a warm smile. “Of course not. I know a thing or two about complicated relationships. No one’s perfect. And anyone who expects you to be perfect is just hiding something.”
I chuckle at this statement. “No one has ever explained that to me so simply. How did you get to be so wise at the age of thirty?”
He gasps and lightly smacks my shoulder. “Don’t ever insult me like that again. And my wisdom is just plain common sense earned over a very messed-up childhood. I mean, my mother named me Kenny, for God’s sake. You’d be surprised how much crap one person can endure in twenty-two years.”
I sigh as I think of how much I had endured by the age of eighteen. “Not surprised at all, actually.” I hug his arm. “That was a hug for your messy childhood.”
“Thank you. That made it all better.”
After Kenny and I gorge ourselves on Korean barbecue tacos at the food truck on Burnside, we head to my place to let our food digest while watching a chick flick. When we arrive at my apartment, I take Skippy out of his crate and walk him outside to do his business. Then I check his blood glucose before I feed him. And he is more than happy to snuggle up with me on the sofa.
Kenny beckons me to cuddle with him while we watch How to Lose A Guy In 10 Days. I cock my eyebrow at his invitation, but he
waves off my skepticism.
“Oh, come on. You’re safe with me. You and I both know cuddling is totally gay.”
I scoot closer to him and lay my head on his shoulder. He lies back so he can put his leg on the sofa and I wind up with my head lying on his chest.
He sniffs the top of my head. “Your hair smells delicious. What is that?”
“It’s vanilla birthday cake shampoo and espresso. I was making coffee all day.”
“It perfect, just like you.”
We settle into a comfortable position and soon we’re lost in the adorable antics of Kate Hudson and Matthew McConaughey. An hour later, I’m woken by a vibration in my pocket. I glance up and Kenny is still awake and watching the movie. I slide my phone out of my pocket and find a text from Houston.
* * *
Houston: Do you work tomorrow?
* * *
I carefully sit up so I don’t poke Kenny with my elbow, then I begin typing my response.
“Is that him?” Kenny asks as he sits up.
“Yes.”
“Houston is a cowboy’s name. Hmm… A cowboy and a lumbersexual? I’d pay to see that.”
I shake my head as I hit send.
* * *
Me: No. I’m taking Skippy to Wallace Park to mingle with his own kind.
Houston: How about Wednesday?
Me: Yeah, I’ll be there.
Houston: Good. Bring the ring with you.
* * *
I tuck the phone into my pocket and lean back as I wonder why he wants me to bring the ring to work. When I glance to my left, Kenny’s wearing an awkward smile. I’m almost afraid to ask what he’s thinking, but I have to know.
“What?”
He shakes his head. “What are you going to do if he doesn’t leave his wife?”
