by Kay Hooper
“Think about it for a minute. Serena was born into what most people would consider a ‘privileged’ life. Wealth and comfort, with a family that loved her. But in the first ten years of that life, she had to go through a hell of a lot. She was in and out of hospitals, there were several operations, and then, when she finally had her health and everything looked fine, her mother was violently killed, and she had to live under guard—literally.
“Now, those ten years might have given some people things to talk about for the rest of their lives. Not Serena. I suppose Stuart or I could have told you, but we didn’t feel any need to. Neither of us had any reason to believe that her past would become important to you. And we couldn’t have known that Stuart’s troubles would be this serious.”
“I know, I know,” Brian snapped.
Josh shrugged. “A lot’s happened these last few weeks. At the start you and she were strangers, and it was a simple matter of keeping her on the move and out of touch for a while. Serena, being the person she is, didn’t tell you anything about herself. And in the beginning you probably weren’t that curious.”
“Are you kidding?” Brian stared at him, incredulous. “I was curious from the moment we met. I’ve never met such a ridiculous, puzzling, baffling woman in all my life. And she’s no less baffling now, dammit. I know more about her now than I did then, but it doesn’t help me understand her.”
Before Josh could respond, Serena came out of the shop smiling cheerfully. “They’ll deliver Scotty’s present,” she said. “How about tennis? Josh, where’s your blonde?”
“She’s not my blonde,” Josh objected.
His remark was ignored.
“Doubles. Does she play?”
“I’ll find out,” Josh said, sighing, and went in search of the pianist.
With a peculiar feeling of defiance, Brian pulled a startled Serena into his arms and kissed her in full view of God and everybody.
“Did I miss something?” Serena asked when he released her.
“I don’t think you miss much,” Brian said musingly.
She stared up at him. “Well, then?”
“I happen to like kissing you,” he said. “Sue me.”
Serena couldn’t help but laugh at his somewhat truculent answer. “I’m glad, but—oh, never mind. You’re in a peculiar mood, I must say.”
“Not really.” Brian kept an arm around her as they headed for their room to change. He had won a small victory earlier, in that neither he nor Josh thought it wise for Serena even to visit the room registered to her, so her things had been moved to Brian’s room.
Changing the subject, he added, “Why’re you so determined to fling that blonde at Josh?”
Serena gave him an innocent glance. “Who, me? I just want to play tennis.”
Brian very quickly disregarded her statement as fiction. “Don’t tell me you know she’s really a brunette,” he said.
“How would I know that?”
“A crystal ball?” he suggested, more than half serious.
“This from a man of science? I’m surprised at you.”
“Serena—”
“I just want to play tennis, Brian.”
Brian and Serena won the match, and Serena defeated the two men at golf the next afternoon. The blonde, whose name turned out to be Dale—“such a dark name,” Serena observed—didn’t play golf. But she enjoyed playing bridge, so Serena instantly commandeered her to make a fourth. The two women became friends, so Dale was often in Serena’s company—and in the company of the two men, who were still keeping very close to Serena.
Josh began to look hunted.
“Are you matchmaking?” Brian demanded of Serena. It was very early in the morning, they were still in bed, and Josh’s hounded expression of the past few days had followed Brian into his dreams.
Serena yawned. “No,” she answered rather sleepily. “I’m unmatchmaking.”
“What?”
“You heard me.”
“I thought you liked Dale.”
“I like her very much. But she isn’t the woman for Josh.”
“How,” Brian asked, “can you be so sure?”
“Sequins. On her evening dresses. Even when she isn’t performing.”
Brian mulled that over. “Is that supposed to answer my question?”
Serena raised herself on an elbow and stared down at Brian in the dim morning light. “Probably not. It makes sense to me, though. Let’s just say that my brother isn’t the sequin type; glamour doesn’t hold his attention very long.”
Brian reached up to toy with a strand of her dark hair. “We’ll let that ride. But the point is that you’re unmatchmaking. By hinting that she’s really a brunette?” He shook his head. “Don’t you have any faith in your brother’s own judgment? If she isn’t the woman for him, he’ll find out by himself.”
“A man obsessed,” Serena told him, “is a dangerous thing. He’s so anxious to avoid losing control that he’d likely marry a blonde just to be safe. I can’t let him do that, now, can I?”
“Apparently not. Look, Josh seems awfully level-headed to me.”
“He certainly is—except with regard to brunettes.”
“Which is why you’ve hinted Dale is a brunette?”
“I’d rather see him run from her than marry in haste. The right brunette will find him one day. And soon, I think.”
Brian let the subject drop. But it gave him food for thought, to consider Josh very obviously had no idea that Serena was gently maneuvering him.
Brian did a great deal of thinking. And realizing. He realized that desire didn’t necessarily wane, after all, because it certainly hadn’t between him and Serena. He realized that he loved waking up beside her each morning. He realized that tranquility was certainly her uppermost layer, and as each of her other layers became familiar to him, he realized that he was beginning to understand her.
But it was with grinding anxiety that Brian came to the most important realization of all, the certain understanding of Serena. And of himself.
“We’ve got ’em,” Josh announced in a satisfied tone as he approached Serena and Brian in the garden. “Stuart just called; the intelligence community finally earned its keep.”
“They know who’s after Daddy?” Serena asked quickly.
“They know. The wheels are turning now to start applying a discreet amount of pressure in the right places.”
“Then we can go on to California?” She didn’t look at Brian when she asked her brother the question.
“Stuart says in a few days. We want to make certain these guys have absorbed the reality of their situation first.”
“But they’re sure they know who’s behind it?” Brian asked.
Josh nodded. “Quite sure.” He glanced at his watch and nodded to himself. “And now I’d better go reschedule all those meetings I left up in the air. See you two at lunch.” He headed back toward the building.
“He can’t wait to escape the blonde.” Serena finally looked up at Brian, and found him watching her intently. He had not, she realized, paid attention to her observation. “It looks like it’s over,” she said lightly.
He nodded. “Looks like it. I’m sure you’re anxious to see Stuart; it’s been a while, hasn’t it?”
“Yes. Yes, it has.”
Steadily Brian said, “He’ll expect you to live at home.”
Giving herself time to think, Serena wandered over to one of the rustic wooden benches and sat down. “Actually he’ll probably expect me to get a place of my own. I haven’t lived at home for a long time now, Brian.”
“Is that what you plan to do?”
She managed a laugh. “Unless I get a better offer.”
Brian sat down beside her. “What would you consider a better offer?” he asked, still grave.
Serena, having taken great pains to be undemanding, fought an impulse to hit him with something. Then she began to wonder if Brian had made progress in trying to find her basic trait. Because
if he had, he’d probably realized a few things during his search. “I’ve gotten used to sleeping with you,” she ventured.
“What would Stuart say?”
As she glanced at him, she saw a disquieting gleam in his green eyes. Immediately alert, she proceeded cautiously. “Probably nothing. My life is my own.”
“I see.”
She thought he did see. And she couldn’t tell from his deadpan expression what his reaction was. For one of the very few times in her life, Serena hesitated before taking the next step forward. Finally, keeping her voice low and steady and staring straight ahead, she said, “If it’s over, Brian, tell me.”
“I wonder if it’d do any good,” he replied musingly.
He was, Serena decided with an irrepressible inner laugh, ruining her noble scene. She forgave him for it; heaven knew he’d earned the right. Still, doggedly, she stuck to her lines.
“You never made promises,” she conceded with quiet reluctance. “I know that. And if I hadn’t—Well, I forced your hand, didn’t I? But I knew what I was doing. I’m not a child, after all. You’ve been honest from the first, Brian, and I appreciate that.”
Politely he said, “I’m glad.”
Serena felt his eyes on her profile, but refused to look at him. She had a feeling that if she did, it would bring down the curtain early. He had it now, or at least part of it, she was sure.
She artistically shaped a quaver and threaded it through her voice. “I’ll—I’ll move my things back to the other room.”
“I’m almost tempted to let you do that. But I’d hate to put you to the bother of seducing me again.”
Curtain, she thought with real amusement. But it was just the end of an act, not the play. She mentally chided herself for underestimating Brian’s quickness, a mistake she wouldn’t make a second time. Then she folded her hands in her lap, turned her head to gaze at him limpidly, and said very gently, “Oh, it wouldn’t be a bother.”
There was a flicker of satisfaction in his eyes, and he lifted a brow at her. “Wasn’t I supposed to figure it out?”
Serena shrugged delicately. “That was always a possibility, of course. And one must always take possibilities into account.”
He nodded with all the air of a man deep in thought. “I’m sure. You would have covered all the bases. So if I’d said it was over, you would have gone on being quite pathetically noble?”
“For a while.”
“And then?”
“Oh, sad, I think. Brokenhearted.”
“And thereby rendering me ripe for a second seduction?”
“Something like that.”
“I see. But I did figure it out, Serena. So, what now?”
She smiled at him. “Well, that depends on you. I can’t believe you want it to be over. You don’t, do you?”
“No,” he said dryly. “In spite of everything, I don’t.”
“Then there’s no problem.”
“I wish I could believe that.” He stared at her. “But I have this uncomfortable feeling that even though I’ve figured out something, I still don’t have the whole picture.”
She smiled again, gently.
Brian began to understand Josh’s recent feelings. There was something disquieting in feeling hunted—and not being sure for what reason or by whom.
“Are you still altar-bound?” he demanded suddenly.
Serena leaned over, slid her arms up around his neck, and kissed him.
“That’s no answer,” he said hoarsely.
“Brian,” she said in a reasonable tone, “have I ever—ever—been demanding?”
He pulled her over onto his lap, saying irritably, “No. But, yes—somehow.”
“That isn’t very clear.”
“I’m not surprised!” he retorted.
Serena fought an urge to giggle. “Brian, I could hardly deliver you to the altar bound and gagged, could I? And even if I could, you wouldn’t be able to say the vows. Obviously there is no way I could marry you against your will. So what are you worried about?”
“My will.” He sighed. “You seem to have a knack for eroding it. Like water dripping on a stone.”
She linked her fingers together behind his neck.
“You’re the master of your fate. The captain of your soul.”
“And you,” he said, “are three parts sorceress.”
“Is it a crime that I happen to realize what I want and intend to go after it? All right, perhaps I was a bit underhanded—”
“Perhaps?” He was astonished.
“Brian, think about it! The jealousy ploy didn’t work. And since I’d very stupidly let it slip that I’d never had a lover, you weren’t willingly about to be the first. What was I supposed to do—tell you very honestly that I was willing to have an affair? I tried, but that didn’t work either.”
He objected. “You did no such thing. You said, ‘Let’s pretend,’ and looked like a puppy about to be kicked when you said it! I’d have felt guilty as hell—and did, for that matter.”
“So I had to seduce you.”
She also had the knack, Brian thought, for making her own reasoning sound perfectly clear. But, being an intelligent man, he didn’t point that fact out to her.
“You need a keeper.”
“Are you applying?”
“No, dammit.”
Unperturbed, Serena grinned at him. “Then just go on being my lover, Brian.”
“Serena, look me in the eye and answer one question honestly. Truthfully. Will you do that?”
“I’ll have to hear it first.”
That didn’t surprise him. “Do you understand—really understand—that I don’t want to get married?”
“Yes,” she answered promptly. “I understand that. Now, can we go on being lovers?”
“You’re shameless.”
“I know. Answer the question.”
Brian devoutly hoped it was his own secret that he couldn’t have said no to save his life. However, since she was sitting on his lap, he doubted it. “Yes. I suppose.”
Meekly she said, “Thank you.”
Brian kissed her quickly, then got her off his lap and back onto the bench beside him. “One thing you’re not too convincing at,” he said, “is being humble.”
“I’ll work on it.” With everything back on track again, Serena smiled at him. She had realized that Brian didn’t quite have it yet. But he was getting there. Eventually he’d discover what drove her. Now … if he could only discover what drove him, everything would be fine.
Brian eyed her thoughtfully. “Tell me something. Have you ever performed a completely spontaneous action? Or is everything planned?”
She returned his gaze and decided to drop a gentle hint. “The actions are always spontaneous, Brian. It’s the situations that are planned.”
“I don’t get it.”
“Well, for instance, my falling in love with you was a completely spontaneous action. I would hardly have chosen to do so if I’d been given the choice—not with men trying to get at Daddy through me. But, having fallen in love with you, I just naturally arranged the situation.”
He blinked. “God, you’re frightening.”
“I’m being honest.”
“Where’ve I heard that before?”
“I do love you, you know.”
Disarmed, he could only stare at her. And as he stared at her, it occurred to him with shocking simplicity that he loved her. More, he was in love with her. In love with her surface tranquility and the boiling cauldron of emotions underneath. In love with her compassion and her need to control and even her damned plotting. In love with gray eyes and a lovely face, and with a passion that matched his own. In love with the glance that could summon waiters, bellmen, and skycaps, and a voice that was always soft and gentle.
He was enchanted with the troublesome sprite he had fished out of the muddy Mississippi, and the unrepentant woman he had bailed out of jail early one morning. Captivated by the woman who had used her half b
rother in an effort to make him jealous. Bewitched by a seductress who had come to him in the gray, silent hours of the morning.
It occurred to him that he had loved her for some time.
Brian, his mind whirling, started to tell her that. But an intruding voice claimed his attention, and he looked aside to find one of the bellmen addressing him.
“Mr. Ashford—telephone call for you.”
Brian nodded and rose to his feet, gazing once more at Serena.
“I’ll wait here for you.” She smiled.
After a moment he nodded again and headed for the hotel.
Alone in the garden, Serena swore softly. Her heart was pounding against her ribs, and she had to force herself to take calming breaths. Had his sudden silence, his shocked expression, meant what she thought? And if so—damn the unknown caller!
It just wasn’t fair that Brian should be called away from her now.
She brooded silently. It was temporary, of course, but maddening nonetheless. For the first time she allowed herself to think of the future with certainty, and that felt just wonderful.
If everything went according to plan.
Brian, feeling that he was moving by rote, went to the desk to take his call. Inattentively he said, “Hello?”
It took several long seconds for him to realize there was no one on the line. He stared at the receiver for a moment, then beckoned the nearby desk clerk. “I thought I had a call.”
“Yes, sir. No one’s on the line?”
“No one.” He hung up the receiver, vaguely troubled. Shrugging, he left the desk.
Josh was just coming from the elevators. “Are we ready to have lunch?” he demanded. “I’m starving.”
“Sure. Serena’s in the garden.” A bell went off in Brian’s mind, and he stopped abruptly. “I just got a call,” he muttered. “But there was no one on the line.” He felt strangely light-headed, cold. His mind moved sluggishly. An awful certainty grew within him.
“I’ll get—” Josh broke off as Brian’s words sank in, and he stared at the other man’s white face. His own face drained of color. “There hasn’t been time for them to get the word,” he breathed. “They don’t know it’s off.”
