Pisky neither widened his eyes in surprise nor revealed a smile of sympathy or pity. Instead, he passionately asked them a question like he was confronting a business opponent.
“Are the two of you searching for treasures whose origins can be traced to your hometowns?”
War was always accompanied by plundering, and the Church’s crusade against pagans was little different from a war. There was no shortage of objects, even from pagan lands, which came to be viewed as holy relics with high price tags after they’d been plundered. In fact, it was precisely because of such objects that the Church never stopped sending knights off on those crusades.
“That’s the gist of it. The two of them are searching for traces of their hometowns, and I in turn require their knowledge. It can be considered a minor miracle that the three of us even met.”
“Ah, that’s how it is.. then in other words, Mr. Lawrence, you first found a sponsor to fund your investigation, and then found these two to guide you, huh? Fate sure is incredible, isn’t it?”
“I don’t know whether I should thank the heavens for it. I’m suffering from mixed emotions.”
Pisky laughed dryly upon hearing a joke so completely unsuitable for a monastic setting. It was precisely because a bad joke was inappropriate that it drove others more easily to laughter.
“I’m sorry for that shameful display. In any case, having heard that, I’m happy to lend you my services. Don’t hesitate to ask for anything.”
“You’ve already been a great help to us just by letting us see this list. Thank you.”
Pisky wasn’t acting so frankly because he was an outstanding merchant, but because he was naturally a very considerate person.
“May the three of you find what you are after.”
He spoke that line as if not saying it would have hurt. His attitude made Lawrence realize from the bottom of his heart that Pisky held his present job not just because he wanted money or thanks.
Though it pained Lawrence, he had to admit that Pisky completely had the upper hand on him. He couldn’t help but think it was a good thing that Holo hadn’t met Pisky before him. If she had, what would things be like now?
He couldn’t stop that thought from occupying his mind. He wasn’t the type of person who had complete confidence in himself, after all. Lost in his train of thought, he was about to release a sigh of self-deprecation when he heard knocking at the door.
When Pisky opened the door there was an alliance messenger before him. The messenger’s words naturally made their way into Lawrence’s ears as well, and so he learned that he was there to summon Pisky, who replied to him and then turned back to Lawrence.
“My apologies, it seems the alliance seeks my presence..”
The reference center was naturally the most significant place at the monastery for the alliance. They wouldn’t be allowed to stay there anymore if Pisky wasn’t there to accompany them. Lawrence cautiously received the parchment back from Holo and Cole, and handed it to Pisky with his thanks.
“Thank you for your great help.”
“Think nothing of it. Feel free to come see me anytime if it’s over something small like this.”
Just seeing the innocent smile on Pisky’s face made Lawrence feel that it’d been worthwhile to come here. After they’d left the room, Pisky locked the door. Lawrence couldn’t help but feel awed by the number of new hometowns that might be founded here. Holo’s face seemed to convey the same sense of awe, as if having woken from a dream - it seemed that she was thinking the same thing.
“Then we’ll take our leave.”
After Pisky bid them farewell outside the reference center, he headed back to the green-flagged inn while they headed in the opposite direction. The weather was so clear that anyone could forget about the snow that surrounded them if they gazed up at the sky for a while. All three of them were silent as they pondered things, but just as Lawrence was about to break that silence, Holo stopped walking.
“What is it?”
Lawrence and Cole turned back several paces ahead of her. Her head was lowered, so Lawrence couldn’t see the expression concealed by her hood. But her slender shoulders seemed more dejected than usual, so Lawrence could tell she wasn’t in high spirits.
“You two go on ahead.. I wish to take a walk.”
She was smiling, judging from the shape of her lips, but Lawrence often wished she would reserve her smiles only for when she was feeling happy. Cole seemed ready to approach her, his face full of sympathy, but Lawrence stopped him.
“Just take care that you don’t catch cold. If you get sick here, they’ll drag you off to say those prayers you love so dearly.”
“Foolish mule.”
Despite only saying two simple words, a great cloud of mist escaped her lips. Just like that, she turned around and walked off. Cole seemed pained, and put his hand to his chest as he watched her back recede before looking up at Lawrence. It was impossible that he’d misunderstood Holo’s reason for acting the way she did.
There was an old saying that “seeing was believing.” Indeed, actually seeing a professional site like this left a drastically different impression compared to verbal descriptions. The impact of seeing Pisky’s workplace was totally different to the impact of hearing descriptions about how new hometowns were built.
Moreover, Pisky was a good man. He didn’t only act for the sake of money, despite having his own desires. Holo broke into a slow jog after a few paces, and soon turned a corner and vanished from their sight. Lawrence’s heart was aching as he watched her back. Maybe hers was aching too, back then. If she had met Pisky first..
“Should I go after her?”
Lawrence breathed in the frigid air, and exhaled it as warm air. The two of them stood in the middle of the road, but they weren’t any more conspicuous than the other merchants who also stood around while chatting. After another deep breath, he continued walking.
“I don’t really know if following her is the best idea, but.. I feel that Miss Holo would definitely be happy about it.”
He wasn’t Holo, but Lawrence wanted to pay Cole on the head for his model answer. Unfortunately, a model answer wasn’t always the correct one.
“Even though my hometown still exists?”
Cole breathed in sharply, and suddenly froze in his tracks. Lawrence didn’t stop, but Cole soon caught up with him.
“The gods may dwell in the heavens, free of aging and disease, yet they still comfort us.”
If Holo was a genius with wordplay, Cole was one in the art of persuasion. Since he was always true to himself, his words always managed to touch other’s hearts. He’d also studied Church law, so he knew how to use Biblical quotes to aid in his persuasion. But a lost and confused traveling merchant who even lied to himself found it impossible to be persuaded so easily.
“Sorry. I know my own lack of courage. And I fear that if I go after her, I’ll only be rejected.”
“Miss Holo won’t reject you.”
“How can you be so sure?”
Lawrence paused and gazed at Cole, who was even slightly shorter than Holo. Even if it wasn’t Lawrence’s intention, that height difference alone was enough to put pressure on the boy. His face was stiff, but not because Cole had been insolent or because it was cold. He resumed walking, and waited for Cole to catch up before he resuming talking.
“But it’s not that I have so little faith in her. It’s not from sadness or loneliness, I just think that her heart’s wavering a little. She must have started her journey convinced that her home was either still there or already gone, but the idea that a new one might be built in its place may not have crossed her mind. I’d rather believe that she isn’t sure how to face such an idea, or how to handle herself.”
Having arrived at the shepherd’s dormitory, he opened the thin door to their room and entered before continuing.
“I couldn’t possibly intervene in everything Holo does, and I couldn’t possibly solve all of her problems. Given this tru
th, all I can do is my very best.”
He would put all of his effort toward the best possible solution, just like Holo would expect.
He put some hay in the stove, and sparks danced in the air as the flames spread to it.
“Surely you two noticed how the wolf-deity’s bones fit into all of this, didn’t you?”
“..You mean how the bones are precisely the kind of thing Mr. Pisky is looking for?”
“Exactly. It’s just like we saw in Gerube. All holy relics are highly valued, and depending on how they’re used they can even serve as a means to maintain faith. After all, our search for the bones can be construed as a quest of faith, just like searching for the Golden Sheep. That’s precisely the kind of thing Pisky’s after.”
If the monastery had been willing to buy the bones, even knowing they belonged to a pagan god, then their conviction was all too obvious. Their council would be united, having a means to save the monastery from both a practical and a spiritual perspective.
In a twisted way, the more clever a decision was the more likely it would be riddled with traps, just like how a simpler lie was easier for someone to see through. But Lawrence had abstained from saying anything to Pisky simply because he felt it wasn’t his decision to make.
“Why didn’t you say anything to Mr. Pisky back there, Mr. Lawrence?”
At the time, Lawrence was sure that Holo had noticed his concerns and that Cole probably grasped the basic situation as well. He only had to think back to what happened in Gerube to guess what Lawrence was concerned about.
“Because that would give them enough information to make an important decision. If I casually told him what we know, we’d be forced to distance ourselves from them. Do you think someone in the alliance’s position would act on simple hearsay? They’d probably force me to swear an oath, and depending on how things went, would likely make me take responsibility if their plans failed. They might even use me as a shield if a fight broke out with the monastery.”
“You mean it’s impossible for us to stay completely uninvolved?”
“Yes. They’re very powerful. If we reveal what we know and they consider it likely, everything they’ve negotiated and discovered about the monastery’s relics will be overturned. And if it turns out that the bones really do exist, proof will surface soon enough. At that point we’d be forced to deal with very powerful people, with no one to come to our aid in this snowy land.”
It had all been well and good in Gerube, a place full of people they could turn to for assistance. But out here, even the name of the Rowen Trading Guild held little sway.
“It’s indeed an option to risk it and escape on Holo’s back if things get dangerous, but if we’re going to do that then Holo might as well have just transformed in the first place. And even she would rather avoid doing that if possible. She’s a loyal friend, after all, who worries about others.”
“..”
Holo always spoke with Lawrence in a roundabout fashion, which complicated things and only hinted at her true feelings in such a way that it often led to misunderstandings. But he guessed that she spoke more frankly and directly with Cole.
Lawrence knew he was probably right, because despite having omitted key details and words in his speech, the boy seemed to understand what he was saying. Not only that, but Cole’s face was filled with bitterness. That reaction made it clear that Holo had revealed a great deal to him about her true feelings.
If that was the case then Lawrence and Holo’s interactions must have seemed incredibly childish to him, coming from two apparently mature people. Why not just be more honest with one another? If Cole made that suggestion to her, she’d undoubtedly roar with laughter.
“That’s why, as long as it’s what she wishes, I’m willing to take such risks. Because such tiny things are all I have the power to do.”
He paused and watched the ashes from the hay wafting in the warm air. He felt it was a bit too pretentious to say out loud, but in his head he felt like he was watching himself as he watched that hay.
“Didn’t you tell me just now that, even though my hometown still exists, I can still console Holo?”
“Y-yes.”
“I still find that rather difficult. If she ends up asking me to help her found a new hometown, it’ll bring me nothing but headaches. But even then..”
The fact that his right lip curled up on its own, and that he was determined to take any risk for Holo’s sake, no matter the danger, was entirely for one reason.
“But even then, I’d do anything to keep from having to see her turn to someone else for help.”
He couldn’t possibly have said those words if she was present, even if they came from his heart. Cole’s facial expression froze in place, and no wonder. He surely didn’t think he’d hear such a childish line from someone who wasn’t that young anymore. In spite of that, Lawrence felt a strange, refreshing sensation rise in his chest and mix together with pride. He put on a joking tone.
“As such, I have my work cut out for me – I have to do everything I can so she forgets what it is Pisky does, so I can keep her affections, right?”
It seemed like a rather treacherous and self-serving thing to do, but it wasn’t born from the same kind of desire he’d had in the past to pocket just one more silver coin. Back then, even confessing at a church wouldn’t leave his heart this refreshed. On the contrary, he’d only have cunningly clung to the idea that he’d just been absolved by his confession.
But these were all things that only applied to him. His words were surely incredibly embarrassing to his audience’s ears. And yet Cole reacted mildly; he simply turned his face away as if swallowing that embarrassment.
“Naturally, I wouldn’t say such things in front of her. And besides, you seem to have the worst of it, always being battered around by our thoughts.”
Hearing this, Cole finally lifted his face and tried to say something. But he only managed to open his mouth slightly before his head fell back down again. Noticing his strange behavior, Lawrence was compelled to question him.
“What’s the matter?”
Cole shrank his shoulders away in fright. He’d normally give a frank reply, but this time he only turned his face away again. Then, still facing away, he spoke softly.
“..I’m so sorry.”
“Sorry for what? Why would you want to apologize to-”
A crackle was heard from the coals in the stove, and some of its ashes were blown up into the air. Maybe that crackle was only in his head, or maybe it was the sound of his facial expression being frozen.
Cole had shrunk back into a little ball, with a look of extreme apology written on his face. Lawrence was beyond doubt as to what was going on. He covered his face with his hand and let his shoulders drop in defeat.
Everything he’d just said must have been overheard. Holo must have secretly taken some chance to relay orders to Cole after they left the reference hall. She’d probably enlisted him to create a situation where she could eavesdrop on Lawrence, and hear what his reaction would be when she said she wanted to be alone.
Every word he’d just spoken resurfaced clearly in his mind. But he made a snap decision to not run away, hoping to save what little face he had left. Before Cole even came to his senses, Lawrence had stood up, patted his hand, and stepped past him toward the door. That thin door offered no soundproofing, not that it would matter to Holo, who was also standing there with no intention to flee.
“It does indeed come as a surprise that you do not believe me to be a fragile female, only capable of wailing tears. But.. seriously.. even if you are unabashed by it, I the listener have become embarrassed for you.”
She spoke with a mischievous smile on her face. That self-important smile made Lawrence want to debate and refute her until she did break down in tears, wailing “say no more” in defeat. Lawrence had already lost count of how many times he’d been fooled by that smile on their journey. Each time it happened he felt angry, because she always eng
ineered her pranks to best-emphasize his stupidity.
“You do not wish to see me go to another for help? Seriously, how can you possibly be so adorable, even now? You-”
She revealed her sharp fangs as she spoke, but just as she was about to press her index finger against his chest-
“..Nnn.. ah..!”
It was said that a person who bottled up their anger would eventually explode, but Lawrence’s reaction was probably more accurately akin to that of a cornered dog. Holo instinctively shrank back in response, but immediately recovered her senses and began struggling, obviously wanting to escape in fear over how Cole would react.
But her strength was of course no match for Lawrence’s in her human form. She calmed down after a while. Then, after some immeasurable amount of time had passed, Lawrence finally loosened his grip. The very instant he did, Holo took a deep breath and slapped him hard across the face. Based on how savage it was, he must have held her for quite a long time.
He staggered back, realizing that he was in no way a match for her. He didn’t feel that way because she was too agile for him, but because she showed no signs of anger, even having slapped him. In fact, she wore a gentle expression he rarely got to see: a faint smile.
“I suppose that makes us even.”
Who was it, exactly, that set this trap for him in the first place? That’s exactly what he would have asked, if her smile didn’t show any sign that she was joking. But even though he desperately wanted to say something to get back at her he couldn’t find any words to do so, because the smile his eyes beheld was genuine.
“..Yeah.”
She nodded contentedly at his response, and pushed him aside to enter the room.
“Young Cole, in celebration of our successful strategy, you shall have your reward.”
She pressed her cheek against the wide-eyed boy as she spoke, gently stroking his head. He was still a child, after all, so Lawrence was hardly surprised to see his face flush crimson. But who knew what traps Holo lay for him if she learned that. So he shut the door and walked back to the stove. Holo set her eyes on the fire in the stove as she hugged Cole from behind.
Spice & Wolf X (DWT) Page 13
