by Kelly Ethan
“On your left,” a female voice bellowed from behind Xandie.
Xandie’s breathing suspended for a split second, before whooshing out in a gush as she whipped to the side to face her next attacker. The only thing she spotted were the scattered remains of her vicious ceramic stalkers. She shook her head. What the heck… “Where have they all gone?”
Elspeth still swung away at her pile of remains so where were the rest?
“Duck.”
Without thought, she dropped straight down. Crouching on the concrete base of the lamppost, she held on tight. A sword whistled overhead and a rope with ninja gnomes attached crashed to the ground in a spray of white dust. Coughing, Xandie stepped down from the lamppost and wiped her eyes. “Thanks, whoever you are. Your aim was true and noble in the slaying of blood-hungry cursed garden ceramics.”
Throat dry from the battle and the shock ending, she licked ceramic ash from her lips. She struggled to find the words to thank her rescuer but came up short. How did you say thanks to someone who sliced rabid garden gnomes out for blood? More to the point, how did you explain the said evil doers?
“This town is a hoot. Crazy, but still a hoot. I’m Priss Makepeace, at your slaying service.” A tall athletic woman with blonde hair and a bouncy ponytail grinned down at Xandie.
“A hoot, yeah. Try saying that after those damn garden ornaments stab you in the ankle multiple times.”
“Is this normal for Point Muse?”
“Eh…” Xandie rolled her eyes then smiled. “I’m Xandie Meyers. Your assist arrived just in time.” Her savior towered over her own five-foot-five height, handy when you needed garden gnome slaying. Xandie loved her sugar too much to give it up in favor of exercise, especially sword related, which meant she was well padded in certain areas. Unlike the slim and muscled woman in front of her.
“My pleasure. Like I said, you can use my slaying skills anytime.” Priss shook the dust from her sword and glanced at Xandie’s companion.
Xandie followed her gaze, concerned for Elspeth. But her grandmother had decimated her foes and cradled a snapping fishing gnome before twisting his head off.
“You good, Elspeth?” Never underestimate the upper arm strength of a reformed dark witch octogenarian.
Elspeth dusted her hands off, grabbed her crutch and hobbled over to her granddaughter. “That’s a great cardio workout. Shame about my gnomes though.” Elspeth sighed and then shot a questioning glance from amber-colored Harrow eyes at Xandie’s blonde ceramic-slaying heroine.
“Priss Makepeace, champion with a sword.” Priss nodded at Elspeth and gestured with a sword-free hand. “So, is this a regular killing celebration? I arrived a few weeks ago and everything seemed quiet then.”
Elspeth narrowed her gaze. “And who are you?”
“I’m the temporary fill-in for the sports instructor at Point Muse Academy while the current teacher is on maternity leave.” Priss saluted carefully with her short sword. “I’m renting an apartment on Main Street. I was running through some sword training when I saw you attacked. Thought I’d come and help.”
“Thank God you did.” Xandie kicked the rope the gnomes had climbed down and shuddered when she spotted the rough noose fashioned at the top.
Flipping a switch from suspicious to welcoming, Elspeth patted Priss on her sword arm. “Thanks for helping my granddaughter.”
“I thought you might be related. You both have the same amber-colored eyes.”
“Family trait. Xandie’s not used to the cutthroat world of Point Muse yet. She’s a sheltered librarian.”
“Hey,” the sheltered librarian protested. “I’ve been here a couple months.”
“Most of it spent in jail or running away from knightly killers or stuffing your face with Lila’s butter puffs.” Elspeth poked Xandie’s rear end. “Add cardio to your library duties.”
Elspeth smirked and patted her hot-pink coiffed hairdo. “Right, I’m off to hunt down my last gnome. Some cretin stole her, and she’s a cursed Sumerian demon. I need to get her back. Tootles.” She waved to the girls and hobbled off toward Harrow House.
Xandie turned to her gnome slayer and surprised a flicker of regret on the stranger’s face. “You okay? The weird that is Point Muse isn’t for everyone.”
Priss shook herself like a wet dog. “Weird doesn’t disturb me. My father dabbled in the mystical security business while he raised me. I’ve seen enough to know that Point Muse is normal for a supernatural town.”
“Wizard or sorcerer?” Two or three months ago she’d never have been able to say that phrase without snorting or calling the crazy police.
“Magical security with enhanced weapons, hence the sword.” Priss sheathed her sword at her waist. “Your grandmother mentioned you’re a librarian?”
Xandie snorted. Librarian didn’t seem to cover her job description. “I’m the librarian, curator and general dogs-body to the library.”
Eyes rounded, Priss whistled. “The librarian, emphasis on the. My dad told me about the library. Guess I better stay on your good side.”
“Xandie doesn’t have a good side, it’s all downhill from here.” Lila stuck her head through her open bakery door. “Come in, brave gnome fighters. I have rich, gooey chocolate chip cookies as a reward.”
Thank God for her family and chocolate. This day was looking up. Xandie followed Priss into the bakery and collapsed on a chair in relief. She waved a hand in a bustling Lila’s direction. “That’s my cousin, Lila Harrow. She owns this bakery, ‘Heart’s Delight,’ and she makes a mean hot chocolate.”
The gnome slayer shuddered. “No thanks. Give me a full-bodied, saucy cappuccino any day.”
“And ladies, that’s why I’m the boss.” Lila placed a hot chocolate next to Xandie and a cappuccino in front of Priss, who sniffed the cup with her eyes closed before she savored the first sip. Lila snickered. “Coffee lover?”
“Since I was a teenager. Whenever I competed, I had an early start. Coffee was the only stimulant that kept me awake.”
“I figure since you carry that pig sticker it must mean you fence?” Lila nodded at the sword strapped to the other woman’s hip.
“My dad taught me. I don’t compete anymore, but I’m instructing at the academy.”
Xandie snorted. “Good luck on getting any of those kids to care. From what I’ve noticed, supernatural kids are spoiled as hell.”
Priss grimaced. “I’m finding that out, but I haven’t been here long though. I thought I’d try something different after my father died. Point Muse offered me a paying position. So here I am.” She stared down at her almost empty cappuccino.
Lila bounced up as the first of the morning trade trickled in. “Well, we’re glad to have you. Especially Xandie, you saved her from death by garden ornament.”
“Funny, Lila. Real funny.” Since solving her great-aunt’s murder, and her mother’s disappearance, she’d settled into the chaos of Harrow family life.
“You can see the family resemblance between all of you. The eyes and the same shade of brown hair. I take it you’re close to your cousin?”
“There are three of us cousins, the same age. I’ve only known Lila and Holly for a few months though. But it feels like I’ve gained two annoying sisters.”
“I can hear you,” Lila sang from behind the counter. She yelled over her shoulder for help and a grim-faced teenage girl with black and silver hair stomped out.
Xandie whispered to Priss. “Work experience. Es wanted to work with my other cousin, Holly, at the funeral home, but the school wouldn’t okay it. So, she’s stuck with Lila. Can anyone say dragon with attitude?”
“She’s a dragon?” Priss dropped her hand to her sword. Knuckles white, she turned her torso away from the teenager, shielding herself.
Wow, Priss looked like she’d sucked on a lemon. “Es Penne. She’s not too painful as teenagers or dragons go. The rest of the clan is snooty Point Muse high-society.” At least the dragons had backed off once she’d tr
acked down the killer knight who’d murdered several Point Muse residents. But they still hadn’t warmed to Xandie as librarian.
“My dad always said a good dragon was a quiet one. He meant dead, not silent, but in his mind it still applied.” Priss threw money on the table and shot Xandie a lukewarm smile. “I have to finish sword practice, but thanks for the coffee. I’ll see you sometime.” Priss waved as she strode out the door.
Lila wandered over and dumped a plate of Xandie’s favorite sweets, golden honey butter puffs, in front of her. “Did my coffee drive our new resident away?”
Xandie frowned. “She left pretty abruptly. As soon as she found out Es was a dragon, she dropped this weird comment about dead dragons and left.” Xandie grabbed a puff and nibbled, contemplating Priss Makepeace. She chewed and waited for the smooth sweetness overload but was met with a slagging taste of pure bitter salt. Xandie spat her puff out and gulped her hot chocolate.
Lila reared back, horrified. “What’s wrong? Butter puffs are your favorite.”
“I’m sorry, but it tasted bitter. I think you used salt instead of sugar.”
“That’s not possible. I know this recipe by heart. I know I used sugar.” Lila pushed her chair away and stood, looking wildly around the bakery.
People hunched over their plates, spitting food out. Table after table had the same reaction. Customers stood, shouting at Lila and Es as they tried to calm them down. People even shoved each other.
Xandie waded in to deal with the irate customers. She couldn’t help but think rampaging garden gnomes, spoiled food and a mysterious new resident weren’t the best portents for a calm trouble-free Point Muse.
Two
“My regulars hate me.” Lila hung her head in her hands.
“They don’t hate you. Although those women you hosed down might harbor ill will.” Xandie gaped at the chaos surrounding her. A tornado of furious customers had whirled through Lila’s beloved bakery. Overturned tables, food splattered everywhere. Plates broken into tiny pieces covered the floor like a crazed ceramic obstacle course.
“I don’t get it. Heart’s Delight is just that. I don’t do potions or spells, hexes or curses, like Elspeth used to. My witchiness goes into my cooking. The food’s supposed to enhance your mood, your confidence, help you focus on what’s good in your life and in yourself. Clarity of heart, mind and soul. That’s it. Instead, my customers tried to kill each other with coffee cups.” Lila groaned and lowered her head until her forehead landed with a thud on the last remaining upright table.
“Like the killer garden ornaments, something isn’t right in Point Muse.” Xandie patted Lila on her food-coated head.
“The brownie quit before the fight.”
Lila and Xandie turned and stared at the moody dragon teenager on work experience.
Lila frowned “No way. Hannah’s been with me since I opened. She’s always worked for the Harrow family.”
Es shrugged. “Just telling you what happened. She told me all the bad luck floating in town was looking for victims and she wasn’t giving it a warm body to work with.”
“Bad luck is a thing here?” Go figure. Point Muse never failed to surprise Xandie. She righted a couple of chairs before collapsing into one.
“The fishermen at the harbor have an ancient lantern blessed by the Greek god, Poseidon, to bring light and luck to seafarers and the town they come from. Went missing yesterday.” Es dropped her verbal bombshell and kept picking chairs up.
“It’s bad luck?” Lila jumped up and used Xandie’s head as a set of drums. “I knew it wasn’t me.”
“Elspeth had her cursed garden gnome stolen and then it’s a ceramic apocalypse. The town’s luck charm is stolen, and you get spoiled food and cranky customers. This is about a thief stealing magic stuff from the town’s residents?” At least it wasn’t a murder this time. Finding a thief had to be easier than a murderer.
“No. Absolutely not. I know what you’re thinking.” Lila crossed her arms. “Last time almost ended up with you skewered by a psychotic killer knight. Leave it to law enforcement.”
“Police Chief Braun’s away in Portland on a course with the paranormal investigator branch. The twins are in charge. Why not help them?” Wouldn’t hurt to shore up good feelings from the town as she was still on probation as librarian. And it would prove to the dragons once and for all she was the librarian.
“You mean, their mom, Agatha, is in charge.” Lila snickered, her previous devastation over her subpar cooking skills all but forgotten.
Xandie stood and paced to the big picture window. From here she had a bird's-eye view of Main Street. People gathered in small groups, hunkered together. Others rushed along the street, single-minded about their destination in an effort to outpace the rotten luck floating in the air.
“There was a fender bender when I came in this morning,” Es offered and then shuddered. “The garbage truck collided with the latest catch from the harbor. Garbage and fish are not my most inspiring scent of the day.”
A customer from Here Today, Gone Tomorrow, the local hairdressing salon, ran out screeching, pawing at his smoking, neon-green beehive hair. A group of customers surged out of the local grocery store, swatting at a swarm of flies trailing behind them.
“It’s the magical apocalypse, isn’t it?” Lila joined them at the window. All three girls peered out, wondering what the next calamity would be.
“No offense, if it rains amphibians, I’m outta here. Work experience or not.” The teenager flicked at her white-streaked black hair and glowered.
“I forgot you’re on work experience.” Xandie snapped her fingers. “Hey, I met the academy’s newest teacher this morning. She even came with her own sword.” Priss had rushed to her rescue and seemed lovely, until the dragon had entered the picture. Then she’d turned weird.
“Ms. Makepeace.” Es rolled her kohl-rimmed eyes. “She’s okay, doesn’t like me much. And she has way too much of an unhealthy attachment to her sword. Dragons don’t have the best relationships with sharp and pointy, unless it’s their own teeth.” She bared her pearly whites and with a sharkish smile, sauntered off to right more chairs.
“No offense, but dragon teenagers are worse than hormonal humans.”
Lila nodded. “No argument there. What’s the next step, Nancy Drew?”
Xandie opened the door and scanned the street. “I risk life and limb to visit the police. See what Aggie knows about missing artifacts.”
“Don’t forget to check on your furry sidekick, and the library might have an idea about what’s going on.” Lila grabbed a broom and swept the food-covered floor.
Waving goodbye, Xandie stepped out onto the street and headed for the police station run by the bear-shifting Braun family. Taking a side street, she passed the Point Muse gallery and antique store. Iris Malone, the owner, had a mix of paintings, photos, sculptures and all other manner of antiques and decorative arts. At least, that’s what the promotional flyer shoved in her mailbox stated.
An empty alley ran between the gallery and an old diner. Residents used it as a shortcut to the other side of town. As Xandie turned into the alley, voices caught her attention. For some reason the raised timbre in the voices had her heart thumping. Fight or flight reflex engaged, as did her self-preservation. One thing finding dead bodies had taught her was everyone had secrets. Sometimes it was just better in the long run if one kept a safe distance and eavesdropped like heck. Ducking behind a low brick wall, she strained to hear.
“I’m out. Do you understand me?” A male voice rumbled over a fainter female one.
“You’re out when I say you are. You approached me with this plan. Remember?”
“I don’t need you anymore. I have a new contact. So, I’m out.” The man stomped away from the cursing woman.
Xandie ducked lower behind the low brick wall as Archibald Penne stormed past. Es Penne’s older cousin, scribe to the keeper of the family history.
“I’m not done with you, Penne
. Do you hear me?” Iris Malone screeched at Archibald, all pretense of secrecy gone in the face of her anger. “I’ll make you pay if you cross me. Permanently. You hear me?” With a primal howl, she ran into the gallery, letting the exit door slam shut with a decisive bang.
Straightening, Xandie hoofed it to the police station. “Now, wasn’t that an interesting chat?” she mumbled, trying to puzzle out the fight she’d witnessed. Iris and Archibald were involved in something underhanded, otherwise why meet in secret? But was it the stolen magical artifacts or something else?
“If you’re after Aggie, I wouldn’t go inside yet.” Melody Braun sat on the steps, painting her nails.
“Why? What’s up?” Xandie slipped down next to the chief of police’s younger sister.
“The esteemed residents of our freakish town aren’t happy with the current trend of missing magical artifacts.”
“Who is? Lila’s baked goods turned nasty and evil gnomes nibbled my ankles. I’m not happy either.”
“What’s the library say?”
“That’s my next stop.” Xandie shuffled her bottom on the hard step. Summer had only registered a blip on Point Muse’s weather radar. A few weeks of short sleeves and now the town was back to jeans and long sleeves. “Do the twins have any ideas about the thefts?”
Melody snorted. Her wide shifter shoulders shook as she suppressed her snickers. “Ah, Zach’s away and the twins have no clue. Mom isn’t happy either, our great—however many—great-grandfather’s pelt from the Black Forest has disappeared.”
