by Kelly Ethan
That man was a burr on her barnacles. But she kind of agreed with him. More dead bodies weren’t on her agenda for the day either. Surviving Colin’s last obligatory pose in front of the judges was the only event she had planned.
Xandie winced as Winifred smeared glittery goop over Colin’s coat. One dog couldn’t support that much chemical enhancement before keeling over, surely. Winifred had been primping him for the last few hours. The posing scheduled over an hour ago had been delayed. A technical hitch. Now the judges planned a late posing and would announce the winner at the party tonight.
“I’m so fine, doll-face,” Colin trilled the words to Winifred. “It’s my moment to shine like the star I am.” He shook off Winifred’s sticky hands and pranced around backstage.
“Geez dog. If your ego gets any bigger, you won’t fit up on that stage.”
“Xandie, girl. The stage was made for these paws.” Colin twitched his bottom at Xandie and let rip with radioactive wind.
Xandie covered her face and moved to the side, letting the green cloud of Colin stink sweep past her.
“Now, now, dear. We can’t peak too early. You must present a picture of humility, athleticism and charisma to the judges.” Winifred clapped her hands.
Kill me now. Between Winifred fawning over Colin, the pug’s antics, and his radioactive wind, a migraine was clamping Xandie’s forehead.
Davros poked his head out from behind the stage curtains. “All ready, Colin?”
“Yes, sir. I’m ready for my spotlight.” Colin pranced toward the producer and cocked a leg.
Davros cleared his throat. “It’s a formality. You’re the only competitor left standing… alive and kicking, anyway.”
“A spotlight is a spotlight baby. Let me at my fans.” Colin panted and stared at the pet show host.
Nodding, Davros disappeared. Xandie heard his muffled tones as the producer cued the host to introduce the last pose and Colin the pug.
“Ciao, Bella. It’s time to shine.” Colin strutted past the curtains and onto the makeshift stage.
Winifred clapped her hands again in support and whispered to Xandie. “I have a lovely meat flavored surprise for Colin afterwards. I left it near Lulu Moon’s grooming station. She was the only one that had a fridge. Could you please get it for me?”
The last time she had to go fetch for Winifred she found a body. “Does he need any more meat products? That wind earlier was enough to blind me.”
“He is an artiste. We need to pamper him.”
“Fine.” At least it would give her breathing space away from Colin’s antics and radioactive smells. As long as there were no dead bodies to find she’d be happy.
Xandie backed away from the stage and headed to the grooming tent… again. She stepped inside the darkened interior. With all the other competitors dropping out, the quietness screamed at her. She located the fridge and kneeled next to it. Xandie grabbed Winifred’s rabbit flavored treat, slammed the door shut and made to stand when a thump of something falling behind the fridge stopped her. Xandie peered down the back of the fridge and then reached a hand tentatively behind it. Her fingers grasped something hard and square and Xandie pulled a small glittering pink notebook out. A violet neon heading labeled Lorelei LaRue’s property.
“Lorelei’s blackmail diary.” Xandie pushed her simmering excitement down and flicked through it. There were sporadic posts dotted through the diary. Who wore what, how much better she looked and what racing corn she bet on. Love hearts decorated the entries where she’d backed a winner.
But interspersed with the mundane posts were cryptic comments. “M backed a loser down by eight.” Or “P slipped a chem to twitchy.” Xandie flipped the page over and sucked in a breath as she read the passage. “Mede desperate. Blondie failed at corns, resort floundering. Ka-ching.” Hannah Mede had long flowing gold locks. Could her husband have been right? Had Hannah bankrupted the Mede family with gambling? Could she have killed for this diary?
“Always skulking.”
Xandie squealed and flung herself up. Diary and hands pressed against her racing heart. “Seriously, Theo? Is this your plan to send me to an early grave?”
“It’s your nosy detective work that will do that.” Theo jumped onto a grooming table and twitched an ear at her. “What incriminating evidence has you so engrossed?”
Xandie waved a small diary at the cat and then tucked the little book away in the small of her back underneath the waistband of her pants. “LaRue’s diary pictures one of the Mede’s as desperate. I don’t know which one.”
“Well, you have other issues to deal with.” Theo licked his paw, then groomed his tail. His pet imp, Horatio, absent.
Xandie sagged a little and then took a deep breath. “Fine, what did Elspeth do this time?”
“The police have been chasing a juvenile Basilisk around Point Muse, seems to have slipped its control collar.”
“Great.” Xandie threw her arms up in the air and paced around in a circle. “That’s all we need. A rampaging Basilisk.”
Theo arched his back. “Let’s hope it’s not teething. Those animals will gnaw anything when a tooth is coming in.” He shuddered. “I had a run in with a toddler Basilisk once. It chewed on everything it turned to stone. I distracted it with a small animal and ran off.”
Xandie rolled her eyes. Theo, her furry coward. What a surprise. “How do I deal with it if I come across one?”
“Run away?” Theo yawned despite the danger they were all facing. “Don’t look at. If you have to, treat it like a Medusa. Look at them through a mirror. Or throw a weasel at it. It can’t stand the animals, scares them witless. But that’s not the only issue.”
“What is?”
“Your grandmother broke your aunt out of jail.”
Some days she couldn’t get a break...
Seventeen
She needed a rest. Five minutes of peace with no rabid killers, devious grandmothers or prison escapee aunts.
“Psst. Xandie. Over here.” Hannah Mede, in a hot pink cocktail dress, hid behind a white column and was waving her over.
Xandie squinted. She’d looked all afternoon for her escapee family members and found Nada. Nothing. Zilch. Then Winifred forced her to dress up and attend Colin’s cocktail party crowning. Now she had a murder suspect in a hot pink dress wanting a secret meeting. Her cup runneth over. Xandie slipped in next to Hannah. “You psst at me?”
“I found Elspeth and Amelia.” Hannah pointed to the wooded area at the back of the resort. “I went for a walk and found Elspeth and your Aunt collecting poisonous mushrooms.”
“Why am I not surprised? Did my grandmother say anything else?”
“Only ‘down with the fuzz’.” Hannah snickered and then sobered up. “I can show you where they are.”
In a dark wood, with a potential killer. She got all the breaks. Xandie considered Hannah, with her curly blond locks flowing free, and her playful hot pink dress, and made a quick decision. No matter the evidence, Xandie was positive Hannah wasn’t the killer. “Lead on, Mede, we got jailbait to find.”
Xandie and Hannah turned to leave the cocktail party.
“Hey, doll-face, where ya going? Tell me you ain’t gonna miss my triumphant win?” Colin stood in Xandie’s path, gnawing on Winifred’s meat present.
“Hannah found Amelia. I’m going after her.”
“Miss my win? My crowning?” Colin gasped and shook his rolls in horror.
“First, this isn’t a beauty contest. Second, this is family. And that trumps the pet show.”
Colin spat out his meat treat and used a claw to pry food product out of a fang. “Even the glorious Elspeth has deserted me.”
Devious, yes. But glorious wasn’t a word Xandie would use to describe her grandmother. “Elspeth’s with Amelia. We will make sure they’re okay.”
Lila rushed up. “I’ve lost contact with Mom and Elspeth. Elspeth scried me and we were in the middle of me yelling and there was a screech and some
kind of flash and the line went dead.”
“Trouble? My Elspeth is in trouble? What are we waiting for?” Colin pawed the ground like an enraged bull. A pint-sized one.
“Now you want to leave your own crowning?”
“If my creator’s in trouble, that’s where I’ll be. Besides, Winifred can claim my crown for me.” Colin trotted around in a circle, sniffing for a moment and then called out. “Winifred. Winnie? Here, baby.”
Xandie and Lila both gagged at their aunt’s new nickname.
“Yes, sweetie? What can I get you?” Winifred appeared out of nowhere and smothered Colin in kisses.
“I’m heading out to rescue Elspeth. Take one for the family and get my award.” Colin swiped his tongue over Winifred’s cheek. “Let’s get this rescue on the road.”
Xandie followed behind Colin and Hannah with Lila trailing behind them. A grating, smoke-loving voice drew Xandie away from the rescue party,
“Off on another suspect hunt, Meyers?”
Rogue ASP Agent and her mother’s chief hound dog stood next to the exit, a cigarette hanging between the fingers of one hand. The other placed conspicuously in a coat pocket. “I wouldn’t be drawing your gun in here, Agent Painful. There are plenty of supernaturals around who would love to go face-to-face with an ASP agent. You’ve probably disappeared some of their family members.”
“It’s Agent Smith. Remember the name. Because you’ll be seeing me again, real soon.”
“And you’ll be seeing the Harrow family, including my grandmother, Elspeth. She’d love to spend some alone time with you. Now I have something to do that’s more important than dealing with pointless innuendo and wannabe bad guy strutting.” Take that, no neck buffoon.
“Pride, that’s what all you Harrows have in common. I’m going to love taking you women down a peg or two. Have fun.” He drew his hand out of his coat pocket and pretended to fire an imaginary pistol at Xandie before slinking back into the crowd.
Smith turning up wasn’t a good sign. This rescue party would end in disaster. She could feel the ache in her Meyer/Harrow bones...
“I swear they were around here. This is where Amelia told me to come.” Hannah squinted into the dark, trying to spy out the Harrow runaways.
Lila shook a green crystal until it glowed, illuminating the area. The woods had given way to sloping upwards rocky outcrops, shadowed openings and cliffs.
“Where are we?” Xandie stood with Colin as he nosed around.
“On the border of resort land and the National Park. Lots of hikes and caving around here,” Hannah offered in the voice of a tour guide.
“And this is where you saw them?” Lila bit her lip.
“Elspeth swore she’d wait here. She told me to hurry and get her ungrateful granddaughters before she hexed my hair dye.” Hannah smiled weakly and then trembled. “Sorry. This place creeps me out.”
“Don’t worry, toots. I’ve got your back.” Colin weaved around Hannah’s bare legs.
Xandie grabbed the pug. “Like I didn’t see you looking up her skirt then. Give it a rest, dog.”
“Quiet you lot.” Lila cocked her head. “Did you hear that?”
The group fell silent. The night carried every noise, including muffled yelling.
“See.” Lila pointed toward some shadowed rocky caves. “Some kind of noise coming from those little caves.”
“How do you know they are caves?” Xandie peered into the dark, but ominous shadows blanketed their surrounds.
“Bunch of us used to come up here to drink. There are caves right over there.” Lila waved a hand.
“It’s dark. I can’t see anything. Maybe my elderly babe will be fine until morning?”
“Shut up. Colin.” The women chorused together.
“Look, I know this place and I have an extra crystal of Elspeth’s.” Lila threw her light crystal at Hannah and activated a second one.
“We split up?” This reminded Xandie of the classic stupid high schooler about to die in a cheap horror movie.
“No choice. Use the light and scout around. I’ll let you know if I find anything.” Lila blew Xandie a kiss and disappeared into the dark.
Hannah shivered and rubbed her arms. “I should’ve grabbed Malachi before bringing you up here. He’d know what to do.”
Xandie picked Colin up, clutched him to her chest and spun around on the spot. She peered around, trying to spot her grandmother or aunt. “No offence, but I think the Police Chief might’ve been more use to us.”
“You’d be surprised. Malachi’s a Medusa descendent. He can’t turn anyone to stone, but can cast amazing illusions. And he’s very knowledgeable on dangerous magical creatures. People sometimes consult him.” Hannah gave a proud nod.
“Oh babe. I wish you hadn’t said that.” Malachi Mede stepped into the light, carrying a groggy Amelia over his shoulder. He dropped her to the ground, and she moaned low.
“Malachi, sweetie. I’m glad you found us.” Hannah rushed forward, a relieved expression on her face. Only stopping at Xandie’s outstretched hand.
Xandie drew Hannah back. One arm around her and the other holding onto Colin “I think he’s the reason we’re out here.”
Hannah frowned, confused. “I don’t understand.”
“Mede’s good at illusions. Remember Lulu Moon’s ghost on the stairs?” Xandie gripped Colin tight. Elspeth would never forgive her if something happened to her prized pug.
“You had to build a resort here. Wanted to show Point Muse residents how well off you are now.” Malachi tugged at a handful of blonde curls. “The ley lines bankrupted us. You insisted we had to come here and now look at us!”
Hannah shook off Xandie’s hand. “Why didn’t you tell me? I would never have built here if I’d known.”
“Why don’t you tell her truth, Malachi?” Xandie dropped Colin and crept over to Amelia, and kneeled down next aunt. She was alive. Groggy, but still alive. At least Lila had escaped. Hopefully her impetuous cousin would stay out of trouble and go for help… or at least find their slightly evil grandmother. Xandie straightened and glared at Mede. “You lost on the racing corns big time, didn’t you?”
“That damn LaRue found out. We used the same bookie. She wanted money, and pretty things to keep her mouth shut. My only option was to sell to Shan. That would float us until I picked another winner.”
“Baby? You lost our money through gambling? Why didn’t you tell me?” Tears filled Hannah’s eyes as she confronted her husband.
“Because you want a rich husband. You’d have left me if you found out.” He started pacing as he babbled. “I needed a stake. I know I can pick a winner. The woman was bleeding me, I had to shut her up.” Malachi flung a shaking hand out, some amulet clenched tight in the palm of his hand.
Something rustled behind them in the dark. Xandie put two and two together and came up with murder. “You used a Basilisk to kill Lorelei.”
“She had to go. Someone offered me a Basilisk a while ago. They knew
I’m an expert in dangerous creatures. It was perfect, all I needed was a control collar.”
“And that’s why you got rid of me from your office that day. Elspeth was about to find out you were her anonymous buyer.”
“I had to get that old bat out of the way before she ruined everything,” Mede shouted at Xandie, his face red with fury. “I followed Hannah and overheard your Aunt tell her their hiding spot. I had to get here first and deal with them.”
What had he done to Elspeth? “Where’s my grandmother?”
Malachi smirked at Xandie. “I hit her over the head and left her trussed up in my Basilisk’s nest. He can deal with her. Silly old bat tried to hex me, but that bleeding heart there on the ground was bleating about saving the Basilisk and spoiled the old crow’s aim.”
Elspeth was devious and had a nasty streak that ran deep. Surely, she could handle an animal whose gaze was certain death?
“Did you kill Lulu and Velma too?” Hannah stood shaki
ng; arms wound around her middle.
Malachi put a hand out and ambled toward her, pausing within striking range. “Lulu thought she could pick up where LaRue left off and that fake sidekick, Velma Mystic had the book. She was ready to announce I was the killer. I didn’t have a choice. They both had to go.” He grabbed Hannah’s hand and drew her towards him. “I know you love this place. But I had to convince you to sell.”
Hannah frowned. “All the accidents, that horrible vomiting in the food tent. All the issues with the show, that was you?”
“There’s a cancellation clause with the pet people. I tried to get them to cancel, but they were stubborn. Then I thought I could convince you to sell to Shan.”
“All this over money? I don’t care about cash,” Hannah yelled at her dimwit husband. “I loved you and you caused all those accidents. I could’ve been hurt.” She shook off his hand and shoved him back. “All you had to do was ask. I have money.”
Malachi snorted. “Pin money won’t help me.”
“I invented an alchemy potion for hair loss. I had an offer a few weeks ago. The deal is worth millions. All you had to do was talk to me.” Hannah slapped Malachi’s chest. “How could you kill people for money? To gamble all our money away? That’s disgusting. And you’re disgusting.”
Malachi roared at Hannah, “Everything I’ve done was for you.” He reached for his wife, but she shoved him away, whacking him with her purse.
“Get away from me.”
Xandie tried to step between them. But Malachi yanked her down onto the ground.
“You okay, doll?” Colin snuck over, and licked Xandie’s face. “Don’t get between a married couple when they fight. It’s never pretty. Nothing’s fair in love, war and divorce.”
“You’re a magical dog, Colin. I don’t think you qualify as a marriage expert.” Xandie rolled over and felt around in the pocket of her smart pantsuit. Thank God she’d ignored Theo’s suggestion of a slinky black dress. This way she could carry Lorelei’s little pink diary of incriminating evidence with her. Maybe a bargaining chip?
