by S. Moose
“Jamie, what are you talking about?”
“The real reason I came back.” Her voice trails off. “Things happened when I was traveling and my agent got me some pills to lose weight. Let’s just say I owe a lot of money or else they’re going to prostitute me.”
“Not my problem, Jamie. You fucking come back with lies and now you bring fucking drug dealers? Are you kidding me?”
“They only need twenty thousand and my debt to them is gone!”
“Jamie, how did you pay them off to begin with?” I ask, looking at Nicholas and Jensen.
She looks down again and her body shakes. Fuck, this isn’t good. “Nicky, I’m sorry,” she sobs in her hands. “I didn’t know what else to do!”
I touch Nicholas’ arm and he jerks away. I haven’t seen him this angry since, well, I’ve never seen him this angry. “How much, Jamie?”
“Thirty thousand,” she mutters.
“YOU STOLE THIRTY FUCKING THOUSAND! HOW THE FUCK DID YOU GET AUTHORIZATION?” His hands are in his hair, and he’s pacing around the kitchen. He looks at Larry, back to me, and then to Jamie. “Get the fuck out now, Jamie. Just fucking leave. Figure something out.”
“If they don’t get their money, Nicky, they’ll not only kill me, but Emma too.”
Jensen jumps from his seat and charges towards Jamie. “No. Here.” He runs to the living room and, in a few moments, comes with a check. “Here, twenty thousand.” He hands her the check. His hands and body are shaking. “Please just take it and give the money to them. Emma ...” He pauses. “Nothing can happen to her.”
Nicholas’ body stiffens. “Jensen, I got it. Go sit down and relax.”
“No! Okay, no! Let me do this for her.”
The room remains silent as Jamie grabs the check and walks out the door. I’m not sure what to do or what to think. Everyone is quiet and the air is thick with tension. I try to touch Nicholas, but he walks away and sits outside on the deck. I don’t know how to help him and make this better. What am I going to do?
“Jensen,” I say, walking to him. “Are you okay?”
“No, fuck, Karly.” His hands rest in my hands. “I’m sorry for doing this to you. It wasn’t supposed to go this far. I had to keep you away from Nicholas, but I fell for you and wanted to protect you. Jamie’s fucking crazy. She wanted you gone, but I couldn’t do that to you.”
Gone?! Holy fuck! This woman has lost it. What the hell was she going to do after a few months? Was she really going to try and say she survived cancer? Ugh, how the hell did we get crazy in our lives?
“I know and it sucks. I don’t know the position you’re in, but I’m sure it was really hard. You and Nicholas are hurting so bad right now. I should hate you.” I laugh. His eyes are wide and he slowly backs away. “No, Jensen. I don’t hate you. You were put in a bad situation and you did it for Emma. That little girl is our world, so I get it.”
“I love her, Karly.” Backing away, he sits at the kitchen table, head in his hands. “I love her so much. I see myself in her. I know she’s mine and I want to be there for her, but how? I can’t take her away from the life she knows.”
I didn’t think about the possibility of Jensen wanting custody of Emma. Will he take her away?
“What are you gonna do?”
“Not be selfish,” he whispers. “This is her life.”
Oh, Jensen. My heart breaks for both men. Fucking Jamie, if I could kill you, I would.
EMMA’S NOT MY DAUGHTER. The little girl I’ve raised isn’t my flesh and blood. How am I supposed to accept this and be okay?
I read the test results over and over again. I’m not Emma’s father. Jamie cheated on me with Jensen and caused chaos and turned everyone against one another. Her blackmail and scheme left a dent in our lives. I look outside and see everyone outside with Emma. She’s laughing and twirling in her dance outfit. I clutch my heart and force out a breath.
I can’t lose her. I can’t lose my Princess.
“Nicholas?” I turn around and see my Angel standing in the doorway in her dress, with her hair up. She looks beautiful and I love her even more than I did before, not that it’s possible.
“Sorry, baby,” I mutter, looking back outside.
“You need to talk to Jensen. Both of you need to figure it out.”
Jensen and I briefly talked and neither of us can agree about what to do. I’m not giving up Emma and Jensen’s not going to let her go. He’s in love with her, but that’s not hard to do. As soon as he found out, one hundred percent, Emma’s his daughter, his feelings changed. We both want what’s best for her. She’s too young to understand the problems we’re going through. How could someone strip away the only life she’s known? Would he do it?
“I can’t,” I mutter, trying my best not to break down. Her hand touches my shoulder and, instantly, my body falls. Leaning against the wall, with my head in my hands, I violently shake, ripping the results and tossing them to the side.
Words aren’t said between us. Karly sits by my side, holding my hand, giving me the peace I need to think about everything. We sit on the floor for a while, neither of us talking, neither of us knowing what to say. Suffering from the destruction of Hurricane Jamie is leaving everyone broken and confused. Where do we go from here?
“I’m pregnant,” she whispers.
My body stills. The words repeat themselves over in my head and I can’t seem to breathe. Is this real life? My Angel’s pregnant with our baby? I quickly turn my body to her, holding her face with my hands. “Angel?”
“Yeah.” She laughs. “I’m about twelve weeks and everything is good. We’re going to have a baby. I know this is the shittiest time to tell you this, but I didn’t know when was the right time. I’ve known for a little bit. I’ve been so scared to tell you. You have so much going on and I didn’t want to add this to your plate.”
“Stop, baby. It’s okay. You can always tell me anything at any time. I don’t care what I have going on, you are my world, so that means everything that’s going on with you, I need to know.” My chest tightens with pain and joy. She’s been by my side through this shit, keeping herself together and helping me through the mess.
“I’m so sorry, Angel.”
“Nicholas, babe, what are you sorry for?”
I pull her against me and hold her tight, stroking her hair, whispering how sorry I am.
“Babe, there’s no reason for you to be sorry. We’re okay, I promise you.”
I’m not letting this mess get in the way of us anymore. She’s been dealing with this for months and it’s time to move on and figure out the best plan with everyone’s best interest in mind. I can’t cause undue stress on Karly and our baby. This is a second chance, for the both of us, and I’m not fucking up again.
“I promise you I will try my best to make it up to you…to us. Thank you, Angel.” Her body relaxes against me. “I love you.” Leaning in to kiss her lips softly, I hold her in my arms and forget about reality just for a few minutes.
A few hours pass and Jensen’s sitting across from Karly and me. Emma’s in bed, fast asleep, dreaming her dreams and not realizing we’re about to change her life.
“She’s my daughter,” he mumbles, looking at his hand. “I lost so many years. Why did Jamie do this?”
“First, how did it happen?”
Jensen sighs and finally starts talking. “We met at my friend’s bachelor party. We were both drunk and she wouldn’t stop talking about her life and wanting to live. We went back to the hotel room and, the next morning, I woke up next to her. We didn’t talk after that, until she reached out to me six months ago. Telling me about Emma and a plan to get you back so I can see Emma and be her dad.” He chokes up, stopping for a moment. “I’m sorry for everything. Jamie said the only way I could see Emma was to listen to her demands or else I would never see her. You have to believe me! Every day was a struggle. I thank God for spending time with her and getting to know her. Thank you for raising her.”
What the hell do I say to this shit? “This is a mess. Emma’s been with me since the day she was born. This is her life. We can’t rip it away from her.”
“I know,” he whispers, looking away again.
“Jensen, Nicholas is right. Telling Emma this is going to cause her so much pain and she’s going to be so confused. She’s asking about Jamie and she’s not going to understand any of this. She’s too young to know. Maybe one day we can tell her, but not now. As long as you’re here, you’ll have a place in her life. You’re Uncle Jensen to her and a friend to us.”
I turn to look at my Angel. How the hell does she do that? Forgives so easily? She takes my hand, giving it a squeeze, telling me to say something.
“She’s right, Jensen. We can’t tell her, but that doesn’t mean she won’t know you.”
“I want the best for Emma. I know this is all she knows and you’re her dad. I love her, Nicholas. I fucking love that little girl,” he cries. “I hate that Jamie did this. If I could kill her, I would.” He laughs through his tears. “I want the best for my daughter. I want her to be happy and live a full life. She knows love from everyone and for that, I’m forever grateful. Don’t take her away. I’m more than happy to be her uncle.”
“We won’t take her away. This is her life and she’s going to always know what it’s like to feel and be in love.”
‘Thank you,” he finally says, getting up and walking around. “She’s the most beautiful little girl.” He smiles. “Thank you again. Truly, thank you.”
We talk for a few more minutes before he leaves to go to work. Shutting the door, I pick up my beautiful Angel and take her to bed.
When I stroke her sexy back, she giggles. Damn, I love her laugh. She’s carefree and happy, exactly how I want my girl. “You, Emma, and our baby are my life. No one will ever come between us again. It’s the four of us.”
“I believe you. You’ve been the best and I’m glad we’re here. Love isn’t easy, Nicholas. It’s hard, but look at us. Here we are, happy and engaged to be married. We have a beautiful daughter down the hall from us and a baby on the way. Life works in mysterious ways. Love is the path we should follow because it’ll bring us to where we need to be. Love brought me to you and Emma, and now we have Baby Nugget.”
“Baby Nugget?” I laugh, holding her tight. “That’s a perfect nickname, baby.”
“I know.” A tear slips from her eye and rolls down her face. “I’m so happy, Nicholas, but I’m scared out of my mind.”
“Why?”
“Because of Jamie. What if she does something and we lose you?”
“That’s never going to happen. Do you understand me? I am never leaving you, Emma, or our Baby Nugget. The three of you are my life. Don’t forget that, okay?” She nods. “Good, how about we play?”
“Oh my God! You’re insatiable!”
SINCE THE NEWS CAME OUT, THINGS HAVE BEEN SURPRISINGLY GOOD. We’re getting on with our lives and really living. Emma’s in kindergarten, everyone seems happy, and Baby Nugget is doing great. We’re all stronger together and now, with Jamie out of the picture, I can breathe. But there’s still worry in the back of my head. What if Jamie comes back? What if she needs more? I don’t know what I’ll be able to do if she comes back. Nicholas has some weird attachment to her and I know he’ll go running to her if she needs him. If that happens, what’ll I do? Will I be able to handle it again? I wonder sometimes what Nicholas will do this time around, knowing she lied to him for all these years.
But thank God for my best friend. She’s been keeping me busy with her upcoming wedding and I’m so excited to be her maid of honor. We’re keeping the wedding simple and intimate. She’s twenty-one weeks pregnant and is barely showing! Touching my flat stomach, I wonder if Baby Nugget is having fun watching the excitement of his/her aunt’s upcoming wedding.
Wedding.
Thinking about marrying the man I love and starting a family puts me in the best mood. After all the drama of Jamie, I hope we can move on and forget about the crap and put it all behind us.
“This is the dress!” she squeals, twirling around, laughing.
Patricia, Emma, and I nod our heads and take pictures of the beautiful bride-to-be. The mermaid-style dress hugs her body and the cascading beading starts at the sweetheart neckline down to her waist. The ruffles truly make the dress.
We were all surprised when Lexi and Larry announced they were getting married in December, after having baby Kayden. She changed her mind when she found out everything with Emma and Jamie. She wanted to start her life with Larry and never lose a day.
“You look amazing,” I tell her. “All you need is your sexy husband-to-be and you’ll be great.”
“Hey! That sexy husband is mine and mine only.” She throws her garter at me and I can’t help but laugh.
“Mommy, when are you and Daddy getting married?” Emma looks at me. She’s so excited about us getting married, but she’s confused. Nicholas and I have her in therapy to help her communicate. She’s been shutting down and can’t understand why Jamie’s gone. A five-year-old shouldn’t have to go through this. We’re doing the best we can and things are starting to look better for her.
“I don’t know, honey. But it’ll happen soon.”
“Promise?” She holds out her pinkie.
“Promise.”
Nicholas and Larry are on a business trip for a few days, so it’s been a girls’ week. After dinner, the three of us make sundaes and relax on the deck. Emma’s running around due to all the sugar that’s in her body. Oh, we’re so not getting sleep tonight.
“Hello?” Lexi and I turn our heads and see Jensen walking in. “Hey.” He lifts up his hand, slowly walking to us.
“Hi, Uncle Jensen! I’m hyper!”
“Wow, sugar at ten o’clock, nice.”
“Don’t judge us,” Lexi says, finishing her bowl.
Jensen kisses Emma’s cheek and walks to us. It sucks that we can’t ever tell Emma the truth, at least not now. It’ll be too hard for her to understand and we can’t do that to her.
“Where’ve you been?” I ask, nudging his side.
“Lisa and I have been spending some time together. She’s nice and I like her,” he smirks like a schoolboy.
“Lisa! What?”
“I’ll fill you in later.” I hush Lexi. “I’m glad you’re happy. You deserve it.” Jensen puts his arm around me. “So you don’t hate me?”
“I already told you! I forgive you and get it. I mean, I’m a little hurt I was a pawn.”
“If you were single, I’d keep you.”
Oh my God! This man! “You’re ridiculous! I hope you know that.”
The three of us watch Emma run around. Soon Jensen joins her and tries to tire her out. Little does he know, no one can do that. She’s a ball of energy and is always on the run.
Before midnight, she’s passed out. After getting her to bed and checking on Lexi, Jensen leaves and I’m alone in the living room. Making myself a cup of tea, I relax on the couch with my Kindle and think about Nicholas and our plans of getting married. The cool air from the outside seeps through the living room. It’s nice being out here by myself. I need a few minutes alone to collect myself.
My phone buzzes. Opening my eyes, I see it’s a text message from Nicholas.
Nicholas: I can’t sleep without you.
Me: I know. I’m here on the couch and am wide awake. Emma was running around tonight. We may or may not have given her lots of ice cream.
Nicholas: Wow, good job, lol.
Me: You know I can never tell her no.
Nicholas: True…How’s Baby Nugget?
Me: Good…We miss you =)
Nicholas: More than you know ;)
Me: Oh, Jensen came over tonight…Do you know he and Lisa are dating!
Nicholas: Yeah, I heard that…Angel, get some sleep, ok? You need to rest and be okay.
Me: Fine…I love you.
Nicholas: I love you more.
&nbs
p; For a brief moment, everything makes sense. We’re happy and it feels good to be here. The more I think about it, the more it kills me knowing Jamie’s still out there and no one knows where she is. Her phone is off. Nicholas and Jensen hired a PI to keep tabs on her, but there’s no finding her. It’s as though she’s disappeared, and that scares me.
At my third prenatal visit, I’m sitting, waiting for my doctor to come back to the room. Lexi is in the other room for her appointment with Patricia. She felt bad leaving me, but I told her I’m okay. Nicholas is still out of town and I hate that he’s missing this. He should be here when we hear Baby Nugget’s heartbeat. Jensen wanted to come with me and keep me company, but there’s no way Nicholas would have been okay with that. I’m okay being alone, I think.
I check my phone again to see if Nicholas has texted or called, but there’s nothing. Trying to calm myself and hold back the tears, I send him a text message, letting him know that Baby Nugget and I are okay and we’re missing him. I know he’s been working hard and long hours lately, and he’s an amazing supporter. I told him I can work while Emma’s in school, but that led to another argument. Nicholas wants me home so I can be with Emma and our baby when she/he comes. I guess that’s okay, although I hate the idea of not working. Yes, we’re both rich and we can live comfortably, but you never know what can happen in the future. I love the idea of being a stay-at-home mom, but I don’t want to turn into one of those moms who shops all the time or constantly goes to the spa. The money we have will be for our children so they can have a great life.
Rubbing my stomach, I look down. “Baby Nugget, I hope you’re doing okay. Mommy, Daddy, and Emma love you so much already. I can’t wait to see how you’re doing. I promise I’ll keep you safe and will always love you. There will never be a day when you don’t feel love. I promise, until the end of time.” Making a heart shape with my fingers on my stomach, I hope Baby Nugget can feel my love. I lean back, letting out a sigh. This is my perfection.
I drive back home with the biggest smile on my face, knowing Baby Nugget is doing so well. His/her little heartbeat filled the room and, immediately, I started crying. I recorded the exam and sent it to Nicholas. Even though he’s not here with us, I know he’d want to hear it.
