Rumors were a funny thing. Like the one that my parents didn’t come to my games because they were always travelling in Europe. What the fuck? I’d attempted to set the record straight on that one, but no one listened. Once they put you into a box, they didn’t want to let you out. They put me in the spoiled rich boy box. Whatever.
The sad thing was that my mom and dad would love nothing more than to watch me play in person. They’d be there, cowbells in hand, if they could afford it, and if they could find a way to be away from the farm during harvest. Not happening. I understood, but they still felt guilt over their absence. They were my biggest fans and always had been.
Putting the last pan in the dish drainer, I surveyed the area. I was a slob, and I’d picked up the house somewhat, knowing Alisa would be moving in today.
I glanced toward the front-room window in time to see Alisa’s Lexus XR pull to the curb outside the house. No one else was home. I couldn’t be dick enough not to help her lug her stuff in. With a resigned sigh, I plastered a smile on my face, squared my shoulders, and strode out the door.
~~Alisa~~
Gage Harmon sauntered toward me, as gorgeous and cocky as ever. I couldn’t help but glance downward briefly at his injured leg, but I saw no sign of a limp. His stride was strong and true.
His brilliant grin was welcoming, and I forced an equally blinding smile in return.
“Hey,” he said, stopping in front of me and looking me up and down. “Lookin’ good, Lis.”
“So are you.” His confident smile faded like a flashlight with a run-down battery. For a few moments, we stared awkwardly at each other. He shook himself out of his stupor first and wrapped his arms around me, giving me a quick hug. I hugged him back. It was all surface shit because the two of us were experts at disguising our real feelings and denying there was anything between us. We’d danced around each other all last year until Gage had been injured and left during the second semester to recover at home.
I hadn’t heard from him since, nor had I tried to contact him. Ours was a complicated relationship comprised of nights of hot sex followed by periods of avoiding each other. We never acknowledged there was anything beyond the physical between us, yet I knew he felt it, and so did I.
My life was so different than anyone imagined; I refrained from lasting relationships, maybe because they never lasted. At least, they didn’t in my world.
I was a person who didn’t tell anyone about my true identity, and I’d been that way for so long I wasn’t really sure who I was anymore. Gage, on the other hand, was who he was. A spoiled rich boy from California who partied from one day to the next and never slowed down.
Seeing him in all his gorgeousness standing before me at this moment, I wondered if there was more to him than I gave him credit for. He seemed nervous and off-balance. Nothing like his usual overconfident and brash self.
“So…” He exhaled a long breath. “We’re roomies.”
I nodded, wondering what fresh insanity had caused me to move into this house full of men—especially Gage. “Yes, Cooper was generous enough to offer Wayne and me rooms for far less than we would pay anywhere else.”
“Wayne?” he frowned. Wayne’s inclusion was obviously news to him.
“There’s room, isn’t there? Wayne goes where I go.” That made six of us in this house, but it had three bedrooms upstairs and a finished basement with three more.
“Yeah, there’s room. The guys have dibs on the basement rooms. I have the master. You’ll have to take the other two bedrooms upstairs and share a bathroom.”
“My bathroom does have a soaking tub, doesn’t it?”
“Sorta. It’s a tub/shower combination, but the tub is deeper than normal.”
“That’s fine.” This was insanity, and I knew it. My father would’ve paid for a place for me, but that put me under his thumb even more. He was already paying for my horse to be boarded, my lessons, my school, my incidentals. I’d gotten enough from him for a while. I hadn’t even known about the man until earlier this spring. And no one else knew about him, either, as far as my friends and family.
Surprisingly, his family had welcomed me with open arms, as I was his only child. I was still reeling from the knowledge of who he was. I’d always been told the man who’d raised me was my dad, and in some ways, he always would be. I swallowed hard at the thought of him. He’d been gone over a year now, but it still hurt like it had the day he died.
Gage reached into the trunk of my Lexus and took out two big suitcases. Without another word, he lugged them up the front steps to the wide covered porch of the old house. I grabbed a box and followed him inside and up the stairs.
He placed the suitcases inside the door and took the box from my hands, putting it on the queen-sized bed with its brightly colored comforter. I looked around the room, feeling better about my choice to live here. I’d be safe living here with three hunky football players and one equally hot hockey player. Too bad I wasn’t into ménages. Good thing Wayne would be around to keep me in line.
The thought of those men with their hands all over me made my panties wet. I might be a bad girl, but I’d never been that bad. I’d done a lot of things with guys, but having sex with multiple roommates together or separately would be a recipe for disaster. Gage was eyeing me like he wanted me all to himself in his bed all day and all night for the entire school year.
But what would my new family think?
I shook off such thoughts. I couldn’t concern myself with them right now.
“I’ll get the rest of your stuff,” he said abruptly. “You can start putting everything away.”
“The décor is very nice.”
Gage shrugged, as if none of it meant much to him. “I guess Izzy did some remodeling over the summer.”
Izzy was Riley’s aunt, now mother, as they’d adopted him. Riley was Gage’s best friend, and Riley’s soon-to-be fiancée was my best friend.
It was a small, incestuous world we lived in.
Gage trudged up and down the stairs until there was a hefty stack of boxes against one wall. “Did you leave anything at home?” He grinned at me. “I won’t need to work out today. I already did.”
“Thanks for your help.”
I smiled back, and he took it as an invitation to step closer.
“We could get in our own workout.”
I lifted my head and gazed into those blue eyes that could make me drop my panties and spread my legs in less than ten seconds if I was being slow. Five if I was extra horny. “We could.”
“My room is right across the hall. I took Riley’s old room.”
“I know.” I nodded as all the old emotions flooded through me. I wanted him. I always wanted him. He was like a bad habit I couldn’t break. I’d tried purging his brand on my body with other guys, but none of them came close, and I’d given up. I’d basically been celibate the entire spring and summer. I hadn’t gone this long without sex since I was in my early teens.
All I had to do was give him the tiniest indication I was ready, willing, and wet, and he’d be dragging me toward his room. I wanted him. He wanted me. We’d never backed away from any hookups together. Why was I hesitating now?
I knew why. It had to do with my summer and how I’d spent it. My life was in chaos, and my current confused state wasn’t helping. I’d been made an offer I didn’t think I could refuse, and with that offer came strings and some very strict guidelines attached to those strings.
“I don’t think that would be a good idea with us living under the same roof and all.”
He gaped at me, his mouth open, his eyes wide with shock. “What did you say?”
“It’s not a good idea.”
“Since when?”
“Since now. I’m different. My life is different. You and I might have had this weird thing going that neither of us would define, but whatever it was or is, it ends now.”
More gaping and wide eyes.
“I’m not asking for forever or even for
tomorrow. You know that’s not how we roll. We like to fuck each other. Nothing wrong with that. We’re consenting adults with healthy sex drives.”
“Sorry, Gage, but no—”
“Is that no for now or no forever?”
I didn’t have an answer for his question. No for now, I hoped so. No forever? Gage wasn’t in my forever plans. My forever plans had become more complicated than I could ever imagine.
“Lis? What’s up?”
“I’m not the same person I was when you left midyear without a goodbye. I’m not sure who I am anymore, but there are things I need to explore.”
“What does any of that have to do with us hooking up occasionally?”
“Not sure, but it does.” I shrugged. How did a person answer the unanswerable question? How did I tell a tale no one would believe? A tale right out of a fairy tale or a novel. Only this fiction was my truth. I wasn’t just Alisa Brown anymore. I wasn’t sure who I was, but I had a title and obligations.
His blue eyes narrowed with determination. He thought I was playing a game, but I didn’t mean to be. He wasn’t giving up on getting me naked. I didn’t want him to, so why was I resisting? We’d been crazy for each other’s bodies last year, having sex whenever and wherever we felt like having it. Neither of us catering to inhibitions, like Riley and Tiff had been. It was like the tables had turned.
“Give me a chance, and I’ll change your mind.”
I wanted to give him that chance, wanted to strip him naked and ride him until we both lost our minds to our bodies.
“You want me,” he said cockily. His slow smile was predatory. “But if you feel you have to make me work for it, it’ll be that much better in the end.”
“This isn’t a game. I’m not interested in meaningless hookups.”
He saw my lie for what it was, threw back his head, and laughed.
But it wasn’t entirely a lie. I wasn’t interested in meaningless anymore. I wanted meaningful, and I wouldn’t get that with him. Even if he was who I wanted, Gage had Forever is Never tattooed on his forearm, and he lived it.
This summer had changed me in ways that were only beginning to surface. I was part of something bigger, and I needed to behave in a manner to make them proud of me. Gage was constantly trying to embarrass his wealthy parents while I was doing the opposite.
Therein lay the difference.
Last year I hadn’t cared. This year I had to care, because when the shit hit the fan, I’d be stuck right in the middle of the storm. If I wanted to weather it as best I could, then I didn’t have a choice but to behave in a manner beyond reproach.
I was echoing my nanna’s words, and it made me almost smile, though it still seemed weird to think of her that way.
Gage cocked his head and regarded me. “Are you okay?”
“Yes, I’m better than okay. My college life is about to end, and I’ll embark on a vast adventure. Life is like that, and I need to be ready.”
“Which is why you don’t have time for me?”
“Why I can’t make time for you.” I detected hurt in this impenetrable bad boy’s eyes. He had the hide of a rhino. He had women lined up to be his next bedpost notch. He was the big man on campus. Why did he care about me?
It was that thing between us we’d been battling last year. Over the summer, I’d convinced myself it’d been nothing but lust. Seeing him again surfaced a few doubts, but I had to remain steadfast and focused on my future. Gage was the past, a past I’d rather forget, a past I didn’t want to come back to haunt me.
“You’re mad at me,” he said.
“Not in the least. I’m over you.”
“This is payback for me leaving without an explanation,” he continued, as if trying to make sense of my disinterest.
“That was a shitty thing to do,” I said, not able to let him off the hook. “I sat by your bedside when your parents couldn’t be bothered to show up. I was there day and night for you. I deserved more.”
“I know you did.” He glanced downward but not before I saw the raw guilt alter his handsome face.
“I did.”
“For what it’s worth, I’m sorry.” He lifted his gaze to mine, and I saw the anguish in his eyes. I could resist a cocky Gage, but this vulnerable, sad version was dangerous.
“Thank you, Gage,” I said, dismissing him before I did something stupid and regrettable.
He frowned, as if not used to rejection and not happy about it.
I turned my back on him and began to put away my clothes. I felt his presence for a long moment before I heard his footsteps and the soft click of the door as he shut it.
He was gone, and my world was suddenly empty and cold. I shivered and bumped the heat up in the room.
I was conflicted. I enjoyed sex, but I craved sex with Gage. In fact, it was everything I could do to hold myself back from following him out that door and ripping his clothes off.
Together, we’d been insatiable, wild for each other’s bodies, and perfectly matched when it came to pleasing each other. I’d missed him terribly and never understood why he’d left without a word.
Regardless, he had shown me how little regard he’d held for me after I’d been faithfully by his side. I knew where I stood. He needed to understand where he stood with me.
Chapter 3—Turned Down
~~Gage~~
She turned me down. What the everlasting fuck was that all about?
She turned me down.
Me?
Gage Horatio Harmon.
I still couldn’t believe it. I’d never in a thousand millennia ever considered she’d be the one dumping me. Not that I was dumped exactly. You had to be together to be dumped. We were not. It was the not part that was killing me.
Fuck. Damn. Hell. Shit.
Having her under the same roof was bad enough. Not fucking her into oblivion every night was pure torture. I admit after I’d gotten over my initial irritation at having her in my house, I’d fantasized about her in my bed every night and all the kinky, crazy shit we’d do to entertain each other. We’d go our own ways in the morning like vampires who only screwed each other at night.
Entering the privacy of my bedroom, I shut the door behind me. I stared around the master, kicked some clothes out of the way, and slumped down on the unmade bed. I was a slob and didn’t care. My floor was littered with clothes, and I had a pile of dirty laundry in one corner. I needed to clean the place up, but I didn’t have the ambition. I’d make some flippant comment about missing my maid and that I didn’t stoop to cleaning my own place. Everyone would believe me because, well, that was what they wanted to believe.
Well, fuck them. Fuck them all. This shit was why I kept friendships superficial and hookups even more casual. I didn’t need anyone but myself and my football.
~~Alisa~~
I cooked a batch of my world-famous spaghetti for dinner. My grandma was Italian to the bone and had taught me to make her super-secret sauce when I was a little girl. The meat sauce was made from scratch; nothing came from a can. It smelled awesome.
I enlisted Wayne to assist me, much to his dismay. I was onto him. Last year, his tendency was to dirty every dish in the kitchen when he cooked and walk away, leaving Tiff and me to clean up. Not so tonight. He was doing the dishwashing as I cooked and prepared the meal.
“Stop whining,” I said, giving him my famous evil eye.
“I’m not whining. I hate washing dishes.”
“You’re whining.”
“Why can’t one of the other guys help you?”
“Because I asked you—not them.”
He propped his soapy hands on his chest and leveled me with a glare. “That’s discriminatory. Make the gay guy do the dishes while the jocks lounge around and watch sports.”
“Maybe, but I like hanging with you better.”
“You do?” His grumpy mood dissipated immediately, replaced by a grateful smile.
“I do.” I meant it too. With Tiff graduated and off campus,
Wayne would be my rock. I needed him as much as he needed me.
Wayne was a nerdy guy with very few friends. I’d taken him under my wing my freshman year, and we’d been fast friends ever since. He was a slob and a horrible dresser. He’d rather play computer games than go for a hike. His hair was too long, his clothes wrinkled, and he often said the wrong things. I loved him like a brother. Someday I was going to convince him to allow me to do a major makeover.
“The guys are nice to you, aren’t they?” I lowered my voice and watched him carefully.
“Yeah, really nice.”
“Good, ’cause if they weren’t, I’d be kicking their asses and taking no prisoners.”
“I believe it. I also believe your Italian temper has preceded you. None of them wants to cross you.” He cast a quick sideways glance toward the living room. “They are hot. Too bad they’re all straight.”
I winked at him, and he winked back. Turning to the sink full of pots and pans, he whistled as he washed and dried them.
Easton Black, the lone hockey player in the bunch, poked his head in the kitchen. “Smells fantastic in here. When will it be ready? If it takes much longer, a couple of those guys will be eating the couch.”
I laughed. Easton was the new guy. He’d transferred from a small college in the Midwest to play hockey for Tyee and to be around his uncle Coop, who owned this house. Tiff had explained he was actually Cooper’s second cousin but called him Uncle Coop.
“It’ll be ready in five. Do you mind setting the table?”
“Not at all.” Easton gathered the dishes and silverware together, stacked them in a precarious pile, and carried them to the dining table.
Tackled in Seattle Page 2
