‘It’s one o’clock in the morning. You can be busy tomorrow.’
Lydia shut her book with a sharp little snap and went over to the sofa. She sat there stiffly, maintaining a decent gap between her mother and herself, but Valentina reached across it and ruffled her daughter’s hair.
‘Relax, darling. Where’s the harm in a few drinks now and again? It keeps me sane. So please don’t sulk.’
‘I’m not sulking,’ Lydia said sulkily.
‘My God, I’m so thirsty, I . . .’
‘We only have one cup left and no saucers.’
Valentina burst out laughing, and despite herself Lydia sneaked a smile. Her mother looked around the floor and nodded. ‘You cleaned it all up for me?’
‘Yes.’
‘Thank you. I bet Mr Yeoman downstairs thought the world was coming to an . . .’ She broke off and stared at the bare patch of wall by the door. ‘The mirror. It’s . . . ’
‘Broken. That means seven years bad luck.’
‘Oh God, Olga Petrovna Zarya will kill me and charge us twice what it was worth. But the next seven years can’t be any worse than the last seven, can they?’
Lydia said nothing.
‘I’m sorry, sweetheart,’ Valentina murmured, but Lydia had heard those words before. ‘At least the cups were ours. Anyway, I always hated that mirror. It was so ugly and it made me look so old.’
‘I’ve made a jug of lemonade. Would you like some?’
Valentina turned and stroked her daughter’s cheek. ‘That would be heavenly. My throat is parched.’
When she was sipping the cool liquid out of their one remaining teacup - any glasses had been pawned long ago - she placed a hand on top of her head each time she tipped it back, as if to hold it on.
‘Any aspirin?’ she asked hopefully.
‘No.’
‘I thought not.’
‘But I bought these for you.’ With a shy smile Lydia produced from behind her back a chocolate-filled croissant and a long silk scarf in a deep dramatic red. ‘I thought it would look good on you.’
Valentina put down the teacup on the carpet and took the croissant in one hand and the scarf in the other. ‘Darling,’ she said, drawing the word out like a caress. ‘You spoil me.’ She stared at both gifts for a long moment, then swirled the scarf around and around her throat with delight and took a huge bite out of the pastry. ‘Wonderful,’ she murmured with her mouth full. ‘From the French patisserie. Thank you, my sweet child.’ She leaned over and kissed Lydia’s cheek.
‘I’ve been doing some jobs to help Mr Willoughby at school and he paid me today,’ Lydia explained. The words came tumbling out a fraction too fast, but her mother didn’t seem to notice.
A tiny muscle that had been clenched tight in Lydia’s forehead relaxed for the first time that evening. Everything would be okay again now. Her mother would stop. No more craziness. No more tearing their fragile world apart. She picked up the cup from the floor and took a mouthful of lemonade for herself to unstick her tongue from the roof of her mouth.
‘Was it Antoine again?’ she asked in a casual voice with a side-long glance at Valentina.
Instantly she regretted it.
‘That filthy bastard, podliy ismennik!’ Valentina exploded.
‘Don’t even speak his name to me. He’s a lying French toad, a sneaky snake in the grass. I never ever want to see him again.’
Lydia felt a tug of sympathy for Antoine Fourget. He adored her mother. Would have married her tomorrow if he had not already been married to a French Catholic who refused to divorce him and by whom he had four children clamouring for attention and financial support. He always took Valentina dancing on a Friday night and stole a secret hour or two with her during the week whenever he could take a long lunch from his office while Lydia was at school. But she knew when he’d been there. The room smelled different, altogether more interesting, of cigarettes and brilliantine.
‘What did he do?’
Valentina jumped to her feet and started pacing the room, both hands clamped firmly to her head. ‘His wife. She is expecting another baby.’
‘Oh.’
‘The cheating bastard had sworn to me he never went near her bed anymore. How could he be so . . . so unfaithful?’
‘Mama, she is his wife.’
Valentina tossed her head angrily, then closed her eyes as if in pain. ‘In name only, he promised me.’
‘Maybe she loves him.’
Her eyes snapped open and in a challenging gesture she placed her hands on her hips. Lydia couldn’t help noticing how thin they were under the silk slip.
‘Does it occur to you, Lydia, that maybe I love him too?’
This time it was Lydia’s turn to laugh. ‘No, Mama, it does not occur to me. You are fond of him, you have fun with him, you dance with him, but no, you do not love him.’
Valentina opened her mouth to protest, but then shook her head skittishly and collapsed once more onto the sofa, lying back among the cushions. She draped one arm across her aching head.
‘I think I’m going to die, darling.’
‘Not today.’
‘I do love him a little bit, you know.’
‘I know you do, Mama.’
‘But . . . ,’ Valentina looked out from under her arm, her eyes narrowed as she gazed up at her daughter’s face, at her strong straight nose, her high Scandinavian cheekbones, and the copper blaze of her hair, ‘ . . . but the only man I’ve ever loved - or ever will love in this life - is your father.’ She shut her eyes firmly.
Silence settled on the room. Lydia felt her skin prickle with pleasure. A damp breeze carrying spots of rain slipped in through the open windows and cooled her cheeks, but nothing could cool the delicious warmth that drifted through her body, as seductive as opium.
‘Papa,’ she whispered and in her head she heard his rich deep laugh echo till it filled her young skull. She saw again the world swing in a crazy kaleidoscope as strong hands swept her up high in the air. If she tried harder still she could conjure up the masculine smell of him, an intoxicating mix of tobacco and hair oil and damp bristly scarves that tickled her chin.
Or was she making that up?
She was so frightened of losing the little scraps of him she had left. With a sigh she stood and blew out the candles, then curled up among the cushions again next to her mother and fell asleep as easily as a kitten.
The sound of a car klaxon in the street woke Lydia with a jolt. The pale yellow light that filtered through the partition curtains of her miniature bedroom told her it was morning and later than it should be. Saturday meant only a half day at school but she was still expected there at nine. She sat up and was surprised that her head felt disconnected and swirled away from her, but then remembered she’d had nothing to eat the day before. With a sinking heart she recalled why.
But today would be better. Today was her birthday.
The hooting in the street started up again. She jumped from her bed and leaned out of the nearest window to look at what was going on. The overnight rain had stopped, but everything was still wet and glistening, and the air was already showing signs of heating up again. The slates on the roof opposite were beginning to steam. Above her the sky was a dull and lifeless grey but down below on the street was a bright splash of colour that lifted her spirits. A little open sports car was parked right outside their door and in it sat a dark-haired man wearing a yellow polo shirt and clutching a vast bouquet of red roses. He looked up and waved the flowers at her.
‘’Allo, ma chérie,’ he called. ‘Is your maman up yet?’
‘Hello, Antoine.’ Lydia smiled and quickly put up a hand to cover her grubby bodice. ‘Is that your new car?’
‘This? Yes, I won her last night, at cards. Isn’t she adorable?’ He kissed his fingers in an extravagant French gesture and laughed, showing healthy white teeth.
Every time Lydia saw him she thought he was the most handsome man she’d ever met, not that she’d met that many of course,
but it wasn’t hard to imagine how easy it would be to have fun with him. He was in his thirties, Mama said, but to Lydia he seemed younger, he was so full of boyish charm.
‘I’ll see if she’s awake,’ she shouted back and rushed across the room to peek behind her mother’s curtain.
In sharp contrast to the colours and sensuality of the sitting-room area, Valentina kept her sleeping section stark and plain. White unadorned walls, white bed linen, even a white-painted old wardrobe with doors that were warped and hard to open. The curtain had once been a pair of white bedsheets that were now discoloured with age. It was an unforgiving and soulless cell. Sometimes Lydia wondered what it was she was trying to atone for.
‘Mama?’
Valentina was lying in a tangle of sheets, her hair twisted into a dark muddle of misery on her pillow, and shadowy hollows bore witness under her eyes. Her eyelids were closed but not for one second did Lydia believe she was asleep. All the signs were of a restless, tormented night.
‘Mama, Antoine is here.’
The eyes did not open. ‘Tell him to go to hell.’
‘But he’s brought you flowers.’ Lydia sat down on the end of the bed, not something she normally did unless invited. ‘He looks very sorry and . . . ,’ she thought quickly for something else to tempt her, ‘and he’s driving a sports car.’ She omitted to mention that it was very small and rather odd looking.
‘So it will be easy for him to drive himself straight into the river.’
‘You’re too cruel.’
Valentina’s eyes shot open at that and they were not pleased. ‘You’re too soft on him. Just because he’s a man.’
Lydia blushed and stood up. In her worn-out bodice and knickers she knew she lacked dignity, but she lifted her chin and said, ‘I shall go down and tell him you are asleep.’
‘If you really want to make yourself useful, tell him to bring me some vodka.’
Lydia swept out past the curtain and risked no comment. She splashed chilly water from the sink over her hands and face, rubbed her teeth with a finger dipped in salt, and scrubbed at her forehead with the heel of her hand to try to dislodge the tight band of fear that gripped it. It only took the word vodka to panic her. She pulled on her school uniform, grabbed her satchel, and picked up a couple of sugared dumplings. She was walking out the door when her mother’s voice called out. Softly this time.
‘Lydia.’
‘Yes?’
‘Come here, my sweet.’
Reluctantly Lydia entered the white bedroom. She stood just inside the curtain and stared down at her scuffed black shoes. She was used to them hurting, like she was used to her head hurting.
‘Lydia.’
She looked up. Her mother was lying languorously back against her pillows, her hair brushed out in a gleaming fan, and she was smiling, holding out one hand. Lydia was too cross to respond and stayed where she was.
‘Darling, I haven’t forgotten what day it is.’
Lydia stared at her shoes, hating them.
‘Happy birthday, sweetheart. S dniom rozhdenia, dochenka. I didn’t mean it about the vodka, honestly I didn’t. Come and give me a kiss, darling. A birthday kiss.’
Lydia did so, brushing her warm cheek against her mother’s cool one.
‘Sit down a minute, Lydia.’
‘But Antoine is . . .’
‘Damn Antoine.’ Valentina waved a hand dismissively. ‘I want to say something to you.’
Lydia sat down on the bed. Abruptly she realised she was hungry and took a bite out of the dumpling, her tongue chasing the sugary bits around her lips.
‘Darling, listen to me. I am glad to see you eating something nice on your birthday but sorry I was not the one to give it to you.’
Lydia stopped eating, the sweetness in her mouth suddenly soured by a vague sense of guilt. ‘That’s all right, Mama.’
‘No, it’s not all right. It makes me sad. I have no money to buy you a present, we both know that. So instead I invite you to come with me when I play at the Ulysses Club tonight. You can be my page turner.’
A cry of delight burst from Lydia and she threw her arms around her mother. ‘Oh, Mama, thank you, it’s the very best birthday present.’
‘Mind your dumpling in my hair.’
‘It’s what I’ve wanted for years.’
‘As if I didn’t know that. You’ve always pestered me to come to the recitals, but now at sixteen years old I think it is time. And it means I won’t have to wear myself out afterward telling you that Sir Edward said this or Colonel Mortimer argued that, and what all the ladies were wearing. Please, sweetheart, do take your sticky fingers away from me.’
Lydia jumped up and brushed her hands on the sides of her skirt. ‘I’ll make you proud of me, Mama. We can practise this afternoon on Mrs Zarya’s piano. You know how she likes to hear you play.’
‘Only if the miserable old dragon hasn’t thrown us out on the street by then.’
‘Oh no, I didn’t tell you, I’ve paid the rent we owed. And next month’s is in the blue bowl on the shelf. So don’t worry about Mrs Zarya any more.’
‘This work you do for Mr Willoughby must be extraordinarily well paid.’
Lydia nodded awkwardly. ‘Yes, it is. I’ve been marking the schoolwork of the children in the lower classes, you see. Almost like a teacher really.’ She scooped up her satchel. ‘Thanks again, Mama.’ She rushed for the door.
Her mother’s voice followed her. ‘And tell that lying rat in the car downstairs to stick his flowers alongside his promises, down in the sewer where they belong.’
Lydia shut the door quickly before Mr and Mrs Yeoman could hear.
‘But it’s only got three wheels,’ Lydia objected.
‘It’s a Morgan, so what do you expect?’ Antoine Fourget patted one of the car’s shiny black fenders. ‘She has won the races all over the world.’
‘Is it the same as the one Isadora Duncan was killed in last year?’
‘Non.’ He crossed himself quickly. ‘That was a Bugatti. But this is a magnifique little lady. I was lucky last night at cards.’ He turned hopeful eyes on Lydia. ‘But am I lucky today? Eh bien, what did your maman say?’
‘Not good.’
‘She won’t see me?’
‘Sorry, no.’
‘The flowers?’
She shook her head.
Antoine slumped into the driving seat and made a low rumbling sound in the back of his throat. Lydia felt an overwhelming urge to reach out and smooth his ruffled black hair, to feel how soft it was, to do something, anything to ease the misery her mother had inflicted. But she kept her hands to herself.
‘Can I have a ride, Antoine?’
He summoned up a smile, ‘Of course, chérie. A ride to school?’
‘Yes, please.’
He lifted the flowers off the passenger seat and she jumped in, clutching her hat on her lap. ‘It’s my birthday today,’ she said.
‘Ah, bonne anniversaire.’ He leaned across and kissed her on both cheeks. ‘You shall have the flowers instead. For your birthday, from me.’
He presented the bouquet to her with a flourish that made her blush and started the car. Lydia knew she was not the one he wanted seated beside him, but nevertheless she enjoyed the ride. What she didn’t tell her mother’s lover was that this was her first time in a car. She’d never even sat in one before. The constant movement of the gear stick and the fiddling with the controls fascinated her, as well as the distortion of the pavement flying past at full speed and the wind rushing into her face over the tiny windshield, tearing at her hair, making her blink and gasp for breath. When the Morgan hooted at a rickshaw, making it dive out of their way, she beamed with delight.
‘Lydia.’
‘Mmm?’
The roads were becoming wider now as they left the meaner beggar-ridden streets that made up the Russian Quarter and headed through the better part of town where the shops and cafés were already opening. Sikh policemen in turban
s stood on little platforms at each major junction, flapping their white-gloved hands to direct the flow of traffic. Lydia leaned over the low door of the car and waved to one just for the fun of it.
‘Lydia,’ Antoine repeated more urgently.
‘Yes?’
‘Do you think she will forgive me?’
‘Oh Antoine, I don’t know. You know what she’s like.’
He uttered a faint groan, and she became frightened he might crash the car in a wild Gallic gesture of despair, so she hurried on, ‘But I expect she’ll get over it quickly. Just give her a few days.’
The grand Town Hall with its pillars and Union Jack shot past in a blur, then Victoria Park with a smattering of prams and nannies. Lydia felt her cheeks gripped by the wind as Antoine put his foot down.
‘I love her, you know,’ he said. ‘I didn’t mean to hurt her. I should never have mentioned the baby.’
‘Yes, maybe that was a mistake.’
‘Does she love me?’
‘Yes, of course she does.’
‘Really, chérie?’
‘Really.’
The glorious smile he gave her was worth the lie. It sent a tingle all down her spine, right to her fingertips, and it was then that an idea occurred to her.
‘Antoine, do you know what I think might help?’
‘What?’ He stuck out an arm and swung left up Wordsworth Avenue, the car’s motorbike engine growling as it launched itself at the incline.
‘If you gave Mama a present she really wanted, I think it might win her over.’
His dark eyes darted a look of alarm at her. ‘I’m not rich, you know. I cannot bestow her with jewels and perfumes like she deserves. And when I did once offer her a little money, you know, just to help, she refused it.’
Lydia looked at him in surprise. ‘But why?’
‘She shouted at me, threw a book at my head. Said she was not a whore to be bought.’
Lydia sighed. Oh Mama. Such pride came at a price.
At the top of the hill in the British Quarter the houses were large and elegant, built of pale stone and surrounded by well-tended lawns and neat hedges. The school was coming into sight. She must hurry.
‘No, I don’t mean anything expensive. I was thinking of something . . . to comfort her when you’re not there.’ She glanced at him warily. ‘When you’re with your wife.’
The Russian Concubine Page 6
