The Right Kind Of Wrong
Page 15
“I love when you look at me like that,” she said softly.
“Like how?”
She shrugged, blushing. “I don't know. You have this thing with your eyes,” Evie looked down, running her tongue over her lower lip. She really had no clue what little actions like that caused. “You make me feel like I can do anything,” she finally said. “Like I'm special, treasured. I've never felt that way before.”
“It's a shame,” I said, my chest constricting at the knowledge that she’d never felt that way before. She furrowed her eyebrows in question. “You are all those things and more.”
Evelyn smiled then, so full of joy and happiness that it brightened up the room. After seeing her depressed for so many days it was good to see she was okay.
There was still a long road ahead of us; one full of bumps and where we would end up bruised, but I'd be there for her. We'd be each other’s support.
She squealed in surprise when I picked her up, carrying her over to the bed and letting her fall on it with a soft bounce.
“What are you doing?” she asked, throwing her head back in a fit of laughter when my hands brushed her sides.
“Ticklish, are we?”
Evie's eyes widened in alarm. “Don't you…fuck, stop Nathan!”
She laughed so loud I knew her family could probably hear her downstairs. They'd probably ask questions but I'd come up with something then. For that moment I'd memorize her laugh.
“I'll get you back,” she breathed when I let her go.
“I'm sure you will,” I said, kissing the top of her nose.
“I don't want to go out there,” she sighed. “My parents are probably here and-”
“Hey,” I stopped her, brushing her hair back. “It's okay. I'm going to be there too. If you want I'll go out there first. Do you want me to do that?”
“I would like that,” she said ashamed. I frowned, shaking my head.
“Don't lose that smile.” She tilted her head again in question, and I chuckled. Evelyn didn't even know what she did to me. “When you go down there don't lose this smile.”
After a few minutes of saying goodbye, I walked out of her bedroom into mine, careful that no one would see. I changed quickly into sweatpants and a muscle shirt, not bothering with much.
As I rushed downstairs I heard the voices of Evie's parents and Hannah, serious and monotone as always. They all pressed their lips together when they saw me, stopping whatever conversation was going on between them.
“Do you know where Evelyn is?” Hannah asked, clearing her throat.
“Her bedroom, probably,” I said, pouring myself a glass of water.
“She's been sleeping in late.”
“I agree,” I replied.
“Do you know why?”
“You're her sister, shouldn't you know?” I asked, raising an eyebrow and earning a glare from her mother.
I shrugged it away, wondering how the hell I had been so stupid to get involved with Hannah. If anything, I was thankful that we didn't bring children into that mess of a family.
“Good morning, family dearest.” Everyone turned in the direction of the cheerful voice. Evelyn had put her hair up in a very messy bun, one that didn't work with her insane curls because they were still all over the place. She wasn't wearing a drop of makeup and her mom clearly wasn't fond of the clothes she wore.
“You're finally up,” Elizabeth muttered. “We have been waiting for you, Evelyn. There are things we need to discuss and you—”
“I was getting my beauty sleep, mother,” Evie interrupted with a smirk. “You're the one that wants to care for appearances. Well, I need my sleep to look halfway decent.”
I grinned, unable to hide my amusement.
“Good morning, Nathan,” Evie said, taking the glass of water from my hands and taking a sip.
“Good morning, Evie,” I replied. “You look wonderful.”
“Why, thank you.” She fucking curtsied.
Hannah cleared her throat with an annoyed look. “I doubt you were sleeping last night, Evelyn.”
Her eyes widened. “Why do you say that, Han?”
Her sister stood up, arms crossed over her chest as she approached Evie. She looked like a snake about to strike. “I was just telling mom and dad about the noises leaving your room last night.” Evie raised her eyebrows in surprise. “Who did you have over?”
I was about to step in, change the subject, anything to take the attention off of her. But a devious smile formed on her lips as she took another sip of water.
“I was watching porn.”
I snorted at her nonchalant reply before bursting out into laughter. Her parents looked like they were about to faint, losing all color from their faces while Hannah had turned the color of a tomato.
“I know your sex life is pretty inactive right now, sis. If you want, I'll hand you the video,” Evie said with a shrug.
“What the hell are you laughing at?” Hannah hissed my way.
“Woman's got a point,” I smirked. “Sex is a great de-stressor.” Evie smiled, eyes sparkling with mischief at the thought of what we'd done last night. My brave, brave woman was being stronger than ever; facing her family with the spark of humor that only she held.
“Where the hell did you get that porn video?” Elizabeth asked, fuming.
“Mom, there is porn all over the internet,” Evie said, rolling her eyes. “Though it is hard to find quality porn out there. That one was pretty good, though, right Nate?”
I chuckled, nodding.
“What the fuck is going on?” Hannah asked, losing her patience.
“I gave her the recommendation,” I shrugged.
This would probably come back and bite us in the ass.
“Thank you, brother-in-law,” Evie said with a serious expression. “It was great, quality porn.”
I ran a hand over my face, smile unwavering as I tried my best to not kiss her then and there. This was the Evelyn that I knew; the smart, witty, sarcastic young woman that didn't care what anyone thought about her. Hannah's gaze flickered between us with suspicion, her mouth opening as her mind began to put two and two together.
“Now,” Evie said, clapping her hands together, “as much as I love talking about my porn watching habits, I have to get going.”
“We're not done talk—”
“Yes, we are Mother,” Evie interrupted with a smile. “Unless you want to basically talk to yourself while I ignore you then yes, we're done talking.”
“You cannot behave this way, Evelyn.”
“I can. I've learned it from you.” The room was quiet for a few moments until I took out the keys to my studio and tossed them to Evelyn.
“Go paint what you wanted to paint,” I told her, hoping she'd understand.
“Thanks.” She smiled. “Have a nice day Mom, Dad. You too, Sis. Don't stress too much.”
It was all so damn risky, but I'd be gone for a large part of the day and I didn't want her to be alone with her “family.” The kitchen was silent while I rummaged through the fridge, ready to prepare a small breakfast for Evelyn and me.
At that point all I cared for was getting out of there; being able to take Evelyn out of the confines of that house where she'd endured so much pain.
“Nathan, we need to talk.”
“About?” I asked, not bothering to look at Hannah.
“About the divorce,” she said.
I pressed my lips together, focusing on the food on the stove.
“Don't ignore me, Nathan.”
“I'm not. It’s just something we don't need to discuss.”
“Yes, we do.”
“I mean, that's something your lawyer will discuss with mine.”
I saw her father tense behind her, eyes fleeting to his wife in an instant. They wanted to avoid the scandal; the idea of having a divorced daughter set them off. The Carsons had a reputation to uphold and I didn't plan on exposing them if we could just go with the divorce peacefully. If not, however,
it would be a different story.
“Are you sure you wouldn't be willing to fix your marriage?” Her father placed his hand on my shoulder as if we had the best relationship. I shrugged him away and reached for two plates and served the food.
“What are you doing?” Hannah hissed.
“None of you had the decency to offer Evelyn any food and she hasn't eaten. Neither have I so I figured I'd bring her some food.”
“We have things to discuss.”
“We don't. And no, I don't want to give the marriage another try. It's fake, isn't it?” I said, raising an eyebrow. Hannah pursed her lips, anger evident on her face. “You know why I married you and you decided it was better to stay together. I don't want to do that anymore, I'm not going to. So unless you're going to say that we're going to keep the divorce smooth sailing, I really have nothing to talk to you about. Now, if you'll excuse me.”
When I walked into the small studio, Evelyn was busy focused on whatever it was she was painting. She didn't even realize I'd walked in until I wrapped my arms around her, resting my chin on top of her head.
“What the hell is that?” I asked with a mumble.
She had been using brown paint but at when I looked at the drawing, I couldn't tell whether what she drew was a dog or a horse.
“It was supposed to be a rabbit,” she said thoughtfully. “But now I'm not sure.”
“Does it have five legs?” I questioned, looking at the odd shaped thing next to two other legs. “Because that does not look like a leg.”
She gasped, covering her mouth. “Oh, my God, that looks like a—”
“Like a dick,” I laughed. “It, whatever it is, has four legs and a leg long dick. You really are a freak.”
Evie giggled, turning around in my arms. “Please throw it away.” She was embarrassed, her cheeks colored pink at the sight of her masterpiece. “It looks horrible.”
“Are you kidding me?” I scoffed, shaking my head in disbelief. “I'm framing it.”
CHAPTER 26
Evelyn
After learning I was evidently not meant to be a painter, I spent the day in Nate's studio, admiring the paintings he had there and also using his laptop to begin catching up on homework before I went back to school.
I had missed two weeks of class due to Nana's death and knowing that she would have completely disapproved, I decided to make her proud. Disappointing her was not an option. It was still a bit hard to focus and I hoped that my professors would be as understanding as I hoped.
The door to the studio opened up quietly and I braced myself for what was to come. I swallowed, looking at the woman in front of me.
Hannah placed a hand on her waist, waiting for me to say something. When I didn't, she groaned in frustration and started to pace throughout the studio.
“Who did you sneak in the house yesterday?” she asked, an accusing glare in her eyes.
“No one.”
“Don't lie,” she said, raising an eyebrow. “Who snuck in?”
“No one snuck in.”
She pressed her lips together while she struggled to remain calm.
“Then who were you having sex with?”
I narrowed my eyes, studying her annoyed expression. Something was off. She was angry, yes, but there was something else.
“You know,” I stated, raising an eyebrow.
Her expression changed from angry to shock. “I don't. That’s why I'm asking.”
“You're not asking. You’re seeking confirmation.”
It was a stare-off she wasn't going to win. Before I would have given anything to have her speaking to me. I'd looked up to her, after all. Now, I could only pity her.
I could almost picture it: Hannah alone on her deathbed, regretting everything she didn't do because she had decided work her ass off. Maybe she'd have a grand funeral, an expensive coffin and a beautiful dress to be buried in, but who would truly be there for her? What would her last thoughts be?
If things with Nathan didn't work out, at least I would have lived it. I'd cherish those memories and hold them close to my heart because I had been happy, truly happy. And I would have loved with all my heart.
“Look, Han,” I said, standing up. “If you really have nothing to say, I'd rather you leave me alone. I have school work to catch up on.”
“Answer me, Evelyn,” she said, gaze unwavering.
I nodded, scratching the back of my head. “Okay, but only if you answer me honestly, deal?”
“I don't have time for this.” Hannah turned, not liking the direction the conversation was taking.
“Do you actually care, Hannah?” I asked, stopping her retrieving figure. “Do you genuinely care about who I was sleeping with? Or is it a matter of pride for you? Because you've never cared. In fact, I'm pretty sure you don't even know whether I've ever had a serious boyfriend or not, or if you know what I'm doing with my life. So, do you care?”
I sighed, shaking my head in sadness. “Mom doesn't even care, so why should you, right?”
For the first time in my life, I thought I saw a glimpse of regret on her face. Unsure what to do with it, Hannah shoved away the feeling and cleared her throat in an attempt to break the moment. “I have things to do,” she said.
“There's always things to do,” I scoffed. “It's fine, Han. Cower away from the real shit. You can handle business talk all you want, but when it comes to the things that truly matter you hide away. It’s fine.”
“What is your problem, Evelyn?”
“My problem is that I'm surrounded by people who don't give a damn about anything,” I hissed. “And for some odd reason, I thought I could look up to you. I couldn't look up to mom because well, she's a snake, but I always thought I could look up to my big sister. And these past months you've done nothing but disappoint me, Hannah. You turned your back on me when I needed you the most. I don't know that I can ever forgive that.”
“I'm not asking for forgiveness.”
“It's not for your sake, Hannah. It’s for my own. I don't want to hate you but, I really don't like you. You're a bitch; selfish and treacherous and sick. I know everyone thinks I'm the disappointment of the family, but what you all don't realize is that I'm ashamed of all of you.”
Saying everything I was saying wouldn't change a thing. I knew that. However, they were things I needed to say; things I'd kept inside for years. It wasn't good to keep things bottled up; I refused to do it any longer.
“Well, you can't choose your family,” Hannah said. There was guilt there somewhere, it was palpable in the way her usually unfazed expression had changed. Maybe a loving sister was there somewhere. “Are you done now?”
I sighed, ignoring the bit of pain I felt. Even if she did feel something she'd never show it. “Yeah. I'm done.”
She turned around and walked towards the door.
“Hannah,” she stopped in her tracks when she heard me utter her name. “Whoever you think I was with, it's true.”
My sister stiffened, turning slowly around with dread covering her features.
“What are you implying?”
“I'm not implying. I'm confirming your suspicions, Hannah.”
Her throat visibly moved as she swallowed, her gaze traveling behind me and towards the window. I half expected her to say something, curse or yell, but she said nothing and simply walked away.
***
Sleep was barely starting to take over when the door to my bedroom opened quietly. All day Nathan had spent away and other than a few text messages we hadn't been able to talk much.
It wasn't even past midnight but I was so exhausted that I hadn't been able to stay up waiting for him. He looked stressed, like he had been running his hands through his hair several times.
“Hey, beautiful,” he said softly, taking off his shirt. I hummed in response, feeling far too tired to even speak. He chuckled, removing his pants and only leaving on his boxers before climbing into bed with me.
Nathan pulled me into his arms,
nuzzling my neck and taking a deep breath.
“How did it go?” I asked, my voice laced with sleep.
He shook his head, placing a kiss on my forehead before he cupped my face and kissed me soundly.
“Let's not talk about that, hm?”
By the sound of his words, it was clear that things didn’t go as he had expected. “Tell me,” I asked of him even as I struggled to keep my eyes open.
“We can talk about it tomorrow, okay? You're barely awake.”
“If it's bad news it's better that way, maybe I won't remember,” I stated.
He laughed, shaking his head. “How about you just let me hold you?”
I gave him a small smile and promptly closed my eyes, falling asleep in his arms without any trouble at all.
The next morning I woke up to the feel of a hand running through my hair and lips pressed on my forehead with a tender kiss. Exhaustion was still winning, however, and my eyes remained closed for a long time.
Nathan didn't complain and did just as he'd said the night before; he held me.
“It was a long day yesterday,” I groaned.
“For me too,” he said quietly. I opened up one eye and saw him smiling down at me and even though it was sincere, it didn't meet his eyes. He looked like he hadn't slept much at all.
“I'm pretty sure Hannah knows about us,” I whispered.
Nathan sighed, running a hand over his tired face. “Jenna's family knows now too. I didn't want to bring you into this, but I had to tell her dad if he's going to represent me during the divorce.”
“It's okay,” I attempted to soothe him. “I understand. What did they say about it? Is there any way of going about it without another world war breaking?”
Nathan brushed a strand of hair out my face, his eyes swirling with worry. “A no-fault divorce. We'd be divorced in ninety days and there would be no scandal, which I'm hoping she agrees to. It's better for her, anyway.”
“What if she doesn't accept that route?”
“Then I suppose another world war will break out,” he stated sadly. Nathan sighed, shook his head before he laid his head back on the pillow. There was more he needed to say that he was avoiding.