“Melanie and I are expecting a baby,” he said finally.
11
I froze, like a cold shower poured over me, unprepared for such news. For reasons I myself couldn’t understand, I felt strange… somehow replaced. Of course, it was ridiculous. However many kids my father had, I knew pretty well he wouldn’t love me any less, but so far, I was his only daughter and now he might have another. These thoughts were ludicrous, I was well aware, but I couldn’t put them out of my head and they tormented me. I was thinking like a complete egotist, and that wasn’t right.
Perhaps this is because you yourself already want to have a child? Do you? a faint voice whispered in my ear, making me even more confused.
“Congratulations,” said Alexander, trying to gauge my reaction.
They were both staring at me.
“Thanks,” replied my father.
I gathered my wits and murmured, “Dad, I… Congratulations from me as well. This is certainly a surprise.”
“You know how much Melanie wanted to have her own child, which is why we decided to go for in vitro. It was the only option we had left. Fortunately, it worked, and now she’s pregnant.”
“Why didn’t you tell me you’d made such a decision?” My voice sounded more reproachful than I intended.
“Well, dear, we thought it might not work.” He fell silent and looked at me searchingly. My father knew me well enough to understand I was feeling confused. After all, I was old enough to have kids myself. This, of course, didn’t mean they didn’t have a right to happiness, especially given that his wife was ten years his junior.
“Dad, I’m happy for you. Where’s Melanie? I’d like to congratulate her.”
A wide smile appeared on his face. And in this instant, I loved him even more. My loving and devoted father had suffered enough and deserved happiness.
“Melanie is at a checkup. She’s very excited and infinitely happy,” he said and scratched his chin.
“Of course she is. I can imagine. How did Johnny take the news?”
“He was surprised. Then he said, At least you won’t be able to meddle in my business so much.” Dad’s throaty laughter soothed me.
“Oh no.” I glanced at Alexander, who shook his head. “Is he making a lot of trouble for you?”
“Well, you know how it is—the teenage phase isn’t easy. But don’t worry. We’ll handle it. I think he may have a girlfriend now.”
“Excuse me?” I said in amazement and smiled. “Have you seen her?”
“No, but she’s called on the phone a few times, and when they start talking, an hour can easily pass. I have the feeling he’s quite smitten.”
“God, it has started.” I sighed.
“Alexia, don’t worry… Have a good time, you two. And, Alexander, take care of my baby girl.”
“Always,” said Alexander, kissing me on the cheek.
“Bye, Dad. Say hi to Melanie and Johnny from me.”
“Sure. Bye.”
Hanging up, I put the phone down on the coffee table in front of the sofa. “Let’s eat,” I said quickly and stood.
Alexander pulled my hand and I found myself in his lap. He caressed my cheek with the back of his fingers. “How do you feel?”
“Fine,” I lied.
He gave me a long look and scowled. “Don’t try to deceive me. Never,” he chided.
“What do you want me to say, baby?” I put my hand on my forehead. “I feel weird. There will be a twenty-five-year difference between my brother or sister and myself and—”
“I know,” he interrupted me. “But you’re not thinking of having kids in the near future or…” He gave me a hard, penetrating look.
“No, I don’t want kids now, but after a while…” I mumbled. I couldn’t lie to him about such serious matters. He deserved to know the truth.
I didn’t dare look him in the eyes, so I lowered my gaze. Alexander took a deep breath and relaxed.
“I love my father so much and I want him to be happy. He has his life, and since he’s decided he can raise one more child, fine. I’m just concerned it might be more than he can handle. He is fifty, after all, and there are many sleepless nights ahead of him.”
“Colin will cope. Don’t fret about him.” He tenderly ran his thumb across my lower lip. “Let’s have supper.”
* * *
After we’d finished the supper, we went to watch the sunset from the sand dune standing tall in front of our suite. Alexander had taken a bottle of Piper Heidsieck Rare Vintage 1979 champagne and we made ourselves something like a small romantic picnic. The weather was cool now and we both wore jeans, tight white T-shirts, and black leather jackets. As always, my gorgeous boyfriend looked super sexy with his tousled hair and low-hanging belt, exposing the waistline of his Boss boxers.
The sand on the dunes had formed waves. We lay on a picnic blanket and watched the expanse of the horizon before us. The sun was sinking behind it, surrounded by rich yellow and orange hues. It was amazingly beautiful.
I had a sip of the champagne and scooped a handful of sand, which had become cold. I watched it slip through my fingers and thought this was how time slipped by too. Rushing through the tedium of everyday life, we didn’t feel the years pass by.
“The sunset is very beautiful, yes?” Alexander asked and put his arm around my shoulders.
Nestling up to him, I put my hand under his jacket. “It’s wonderful.”
“Are you cold? I didn’t pay any attention to what you put on,” he said, concerned.
“I’m fine. Don’t worry.”
Slightly, he opened my jacket to take a look at me and frowned. “How can you go out without a bra? Your nipples are visible.”
I instantly regretted I’d done so. Goddamn it, I didn’t want to make him mad and to ruin the night.
“It’s just us two. Why does it matter?” I tried to placate him.
“Alexia, what is mine…” He looked at my breasts. “I want to be the only who can see it. Is it so hard for you to understand and stop doing it. And don’t pout at me with those lips.” He was deadly serious and clearly annoyed that someone might see me.
“Fine, I’ll be careful. Come now, let’s not ruin the night. There’s nobody around to see me right now, and I was wearing the jacket in the hotel. Please.” I stroked his face and he pressed my hand to his cheek.
“Okay,” he sighed. “You may walk around naked in front of me if you want, but in front of anyone else—”
I interrupted. “I understand.”
Alexander took my hand and gently kissed my palm, showing me how much I meant to him. I could see he was having an internal struggle. He was in a real relationship for the first time, and it was only now that he was facing up to his jealous temperament.
At this moment, I heard a vibration. He reached in his jeans pocket and took out his cell phone. Looking at the display, he said, “I have to get this.” He stood and walked away from me.
I couldn’t hide that the never-ending phone calls were starting to get on my nerves. Couldn’t we have one night in peace without such interruptions? Just the two of us. I felt neglected, but what made me shudder were the words I overheard.
“You know I love you.”
Immediately, I caught on that this conversation wasn’t related to his work. It was something personal instead. But why was he hiding from me? Was another woman involved?
Instinctively, I raised a hand to my chest. Was Alexander two-timing me and being intimate with another woman?
I shook my head to dispel these dark thoughts. No… Alexander isn’t like that.
But could I be absolutely certain?
I watched him nervously run his fingers through his hair. He was concerned. But for whom? What was happening, for God’s sake? I downed the remaining champagne in my glass and poured myself some more. My heart banged hard against my ribs and a lump was stuck in my throat. I felt small, like a speck of dust in infinite space.
Could I share him with ano
ther woman? Hell no! I just couldn’t.
After God knows how many minutes—it seemed like an eternity—Alexander finished the conversation and sat beside me. He looked crestfallen.
“Is everything okay?” I asked and realized I was very afraid of what he might say in reply.
“It will be okay with you next to me,” he said in a quiet voice. He leaned in to kiss me, but I turned away and glared at him angrily.
“What is it? Why are you mad at me?” he asked, surprised.
“You’ll screw up everything between us if you continue to lie to me,” I warned. I couldn’t pretend not to care. He narrowed his eyes and clenched his lips furiously.
I looked down at the sand. “I heard you say ‘you know I love you.’ Is there another woman?” My voice was quiet, almost a whisper.
“No, goddamn it,” he replied angrily.
I closed my eyes for an instant, not knowing what to think.
Alexander put his palms on my face and said, “There’s no other woman and there never will be.”
“If I were to call someone and walk away from you, but you heard me say those words, what would you think?”
“That you were involved with another man,” he replied earnestly.
“See?”
“Baby. My brother called. He has serious problems, and I don’t want to talk about them.”
I gazed at his handsome face. He was divine, and I was insanely and deeply in love with him. When would I learn to trust him completely? I could see I meant a lot to him and he loved me, but I constantly doubted whether we could have a future together.
Why did I feel so uncertain?
Embracing him, I slid my hands under his T-shirt to caress his warm skin. I rested my head on his chest, which was oh so powerful, and kissed him.
He touched my hair with his lips and inhaled deeply. “Alexia, I want to ask you something that is very important to me.”
Lifting my head, I looked at his face.
“I want you to move in with me.” His lovely blue eyes pleadingly gazed at me.
“That wasn’t a question.” I tried to be witty.
“Please. Say you will. This way we can spend our free time together.”
I took a big swig of champagne, which pleasantly warmed my stomach. It had a very nice taste. I licked my lips and replied, “Don’t you think everything is happening too fast?”
“No. What’s so fast about it?”
“Well, a couple usually goes out for at least a month before they decide to take such a step.”
Scowling, he asked, “Have you lived with any of your exes?”
“No,” I replied quickly.
Alexander exhaled noisily, as if he’d been holding his breath. “Very well. So it will be new to you as well.” He smiled.
God, what a divinely beautiful smile this man has.
“What is it?”
“Nothing. You’re handsome.”
He raised his eyebrows. “Does that mean you agree?”
“No,” I said ambivalently.
“What?” He pouted. “Why?”
It took me a while to formulate my response. “I don’t want you to kick me out like a flea-ridden kitten when you get tired of me.”
Great answer. Well done…
How could I explain to him I wanted more than anything for us to be together, but I was afraid of making hasty decisions? I wanted to spend every free minute with him, but I didn’t want him to get bored of me.
“I would never do that. Never! You’ve disappointed me, Alexia.” He sounded hurt. “I didn’t know you had such a low opinion of me.” He angrily ran his fingers through his messy hair.
“If we live together, you’ll get tired of me more quickly.” I tried to convince him.
“I could never get enough of you. What is this tiring you’re talking about?”
“You want me now, but once the honeymoon period has passed… I don’t want to become a burden for you. You’ve lived alone for years, and that made you happy. Without anyone getting in your way.”
“You said it right—it made me happy. Now, however, I’m happy when I’m with you, and when you’re away, I think about you and it pains me.” His eyes stared into mine and he looked confused. Had I caused his confusion?
God, how I wanted to be with this man, to spend the rest of my life with him.
A part of me wanted to throw myself at his neck and say yes, but another—even if smaller—part was afraid of taking this major step. I was afraid he would get bored of me too quickly.
“Give me some time to think. Please. Let’s not rush into this.”
“I would be very grateful if you give me an answer before we leave for Zurich.”
“Okay.” He was sad, and I didn’t want to make him sad. “I love you.”
“Then come live with me.” He wouldn’t give up. “You won’t have to do anything. I have enough staff to take care of the house. I’ll treat you like a goddess.” Gazing at the horizon, he added, “Before I met you, I had no—and I mean none whatsoever—wish to share my leisure time with some skirt, unless it was related to… you know what. But it’s different with you—I’ve told you this already.”
“I know and I’m extremely flattered, but—”
“But you want to think about it.” He pursed his lips in disapproval.
Hugging him, I dug my face into his neck. “I only want you… It’s just that everything is happening at the speed of lightning.” I lifted my head and our eyes met.
“I like the way you look when you’re aroused, baby. Let’s head back to the hotel,” he suggested and tenderly ran his thumb across my lower lip.
Back in our suite, we made love passionately and insatiably, intoxicated by the alcohol and the desire to merge into one.
12
It was half ten when we went to bed. We lay snuggled up to each other and talked about his company and the work I would do there.
I thought about how different Alexander was from my previous boyfriends. Whenever we walked together, we either had our arms around each other or he held my hand in his. He needed—as did I—direct contact and didn’t hide it. He didn’t care where we were or who was watching us. Whether some paparazzo would take a picture of us and sell it to the magazines. Alexander put me first and, thus, made me feel special, loved, desired. He gave me the attention I needed and didn’t hide our relationship. On the contrary. He insisted everyone knew I was his girlfriend, and whenever he spoke about me, it was with respect and love.
“Alexander, who will train me when I start working at your company?”
“Francesco,” he replied. After a brief silence, he asked, “Do you want to work in the finance and accounting department?”
“Don’t you trust me?” I pulled the cover over my breasts.
“It is mostly women that work in the finance and accounting department,” he admitted, turned to me, and propped himself on his elbow.
“Oh God… You can’t be jealous of every living creature with a dick.” I glared at him, very serious.
He laughed as if I’d told him a joke. “Of every living creature with a dick. Well said, Alexia.” And he kept on laughing.
“I didn’t say it to make you laugh. This isn’t normal. You can’t lock me in your house so nobody else can lay their eyes on me.” Or could he?
Alexander paused to think, scratching his chin, before he replied, “That’s a great idea.”
Gently, I nudged his shoulder. “You’re out of you mind. This is madness.”
He seemed dead serious.
“You can’t do that, Alexander.”
“Oh, I could,” he started, “but I won’t. You wouldn’t allow it.”
“Well, what person in their right mind would?”
“Believe me, Alexia. There are many women who would agree to it.” He took my hand in his and kissed it.
“No, there aren’t,” I protested.
“Oh, yes, there are. Believe me.”
“Does that m
ean you’ve done it?” I asked and immediately questioned whether I really wanted to know the answer.
“No. Why would I lock up a woman? After all, I was more likely to try to run away from them when I sensed things were getting serious.”
“Thank God.” I was relieved. “I thought I might have to declare you insane.”
“Insane, is that right? You think I’m not right in the head… Hmm… You may well be right. Since I met you, you’ve had me wrapped around your little finger.” He grabbed my wrists, lifted them above my head with one hand, swept the hair from my face with the other, and kissed me passionately.
“Please, baby, say yes,” he whispered imploringly. He eyes tenderly gazed into mine.
“To what?”
“To us living together. I want to fall asleep and wake up next to you. I want us to go to work and come home together. I want you, baby, all to myself.” He had his lips on my chin and showered me with gentle kisses. Leaning down, he took my nipple in his lips and it became erect as if by order.
I moaned. “You’re not playing fair. You’re making me feel weak so you can compel me to agree.”
“Doesn’t it feel nice to always have me at your beck and call?” He took my other nipple in his lips and circled it with his tongue.
This was his way of forcing me to say yes.
“Of course it feels nice, but I’m scared.” I was panting but wouldn’t surrender. “You want it now because we’re on holiday and we can let out hair down. We sleep in one hotel, then another. We have variety, but when we go back to the rat race in Zurich, it won’t be the same. You’ll be bored of me in no more than two months.”
Alexander rubbed his nose against mine. “That could never happen.”
“Believe me. Moving in with someone is a big step.”
He rubbed himself against my hips, and I felt his erection.
“Alexander, are you even listening to what I’m saying?”
“I hear every word, baby. It’s you who’s not hearing me. You are made for me. Just for me. I’ve finally met the woman of my life and I want to be with her, with YOU.”
I tried to tease him. “You’re aroused and can’t think with your big head.”
Limits of Destiny (Volume 2) Page 10
