Things Hoped For
A Vow Series Spin-Off
Chencia C. Higgins
Copyright © 2020 Chencia C. Higgins
www.therealchencia.com
Cover: Roseville Designs
Cover Image: Efije Images
Editing: Trim & Polish
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This book is a work of fiction. The names, characters, places and incidents are products of the writers' imagination, or have been used in a fictitious manner. Any resemblance to persons, living or dead, actual events, locations, or organizations is entirely coincidental. No part of this book may be reproduced in any manner without written permission from the author except in the case of brief quotation embodied in critical articles or reviews. All rights reserved.
Contents
The Playlist
Acknowledgments
1. Trisha
2. Xeno
3. Trisha
4. Xeno
5. Trisha
6. Trisha
7. Xeno
8. Trisha
9. Xeno
10. Xeno
11. Trisha
12. Trisha
13. Trisha
About the Author
Also by Chencia C. Higgins
The Playlist
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Get the playlist on Spotify: bit.ly/thingshopedfor
Acknowledgments
I always knew that I would write this story. As I was penning Remember Our Love, before one word of To Build a Vow made it into the document, I knew that Trisha’s story was coming and that it would be important. When I finally sat down to write Build, I cried just as hard during Trisha’s reading as I did during the gas station scene. It meant just that much to me. Surely, I would have no problem penning her journey to love.
Well, I was wrong. I created a playlist in 2018 and told myself that I needed to let the story marinate—that I didn’t want to put any old thing out—and then I would write it. The truth is that I was cowering. Writing polyamory didn’t scare me; the werewolves didn’t scare me; the demons didn’t scare me, but the idea of writing a story of two Black women falling in love and staying there on purpose terrified me. I was petrified with fear to write their fluffy, low-angst, feel-good love story because I believed I’d be telling on myself.
Oftentimes, fear can make us irrational and mine made me shove a really great story into the back of my closet (pun absolutely intended) because I didn’t want people to read it and possibly see something that I hadn’t taken serious notice of once during the first twenty-plus years of my thirty-plus life. The thing about being a writer is that, when characters decide they had something to say, they will not let you rest until you hear them out. Trisha and Xeno invaded my dreams and waking thoughts until I had to get my shit together and do what needed to be done. And now, here we are.
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I first want to thank Sha for asking me if I “liked girls” without judgment or censure. For assuring me that it was okay if I did. For giving me the space to figure things out.
Coco, for not batting an eye when I told her that I was just as attracted to women as I was to men and maybekindasorta had been for a long time. For breaking down my natal chart and basically telling me that being queer was a part of my astrological makeup.
Mama, for loving me the same way, regardless.
Nic, for threatening to beat my ass for questioning if this book was good enough.
My group of writerly homegirls, who are so fucking talented and amazing and hilarious, and push me to create even when I second—and third—guess myself.
And finally, I thank you, Reader, for being here. For seeing a stud—a Black butch—on the cover and still giving this book a try. For having an open mind and an open heart. For trusting me to tell a good story. Thank you.
—Chencia
This one means a lot to me. I hope you enjoy it.
One
Trisha
When It's Not So Hard To Say Goodbye After All
"Y'all have to promise to look after her. I'm the only family she has, and even though she's abandoning me and moving across state lines, I want to make sure that she's cared for." Lisa clutched her cloth napkin in one hand and squeezed Nedra's hand across the table with the other. Her eyes were glassy and her face was flushed. Her lightweight ass was drunk. The fucking nerve.
Amused, I rolled my eyes, swallowing the last of my wine as I glanced at Nedra and Tonya—who were giving each other a look that clearly expressed their confusion—before turning to glare at Jeremiah, completely ignoring Lisa's dramatics—and her transparent attempt at shade.
"Please, J. Please get your wife."
At the sound of his name, Jeremiah paused in the middle of whatever he was saying to Boobie and his handsome mahogany face sprung into a grin as he swiveled his bald head to face me—no doubt already well aware that Lisa was doing two glasses past too much. "What am I supposed to do, Tee?"
I gave him a dumb look. He knew damn well… "Put your dick in her mouth so she can shut up. Duh."
Lisa's offended gasp was immediately followed by a burp, Nedra screamed in amusement, and Tonya's mouth dropped open in shock.
All other conversations seemed to halt instantaneously as all adult eyes swung toward me.
Sabrina was the first to speak, the pinched look on her otherwise regal face proving that she was sufficiently vexed. "LaTrisha, there are children present. Be courteous and watch your language."
"Yes, ma'am." I immediately replied, though I wondered who exactly she was referencing. Did she mean Ja'Mya and Wisdom, who were sharing a pair of earbuds as they giggled at something on Mya's tablet, completely oblivious to what the adults in the room were talking about? Or was she talking about the three toddlers in highchairs who she and James were fawning over at the far end of the long, rectangular dinner table where we all sat? Lisa and Jeremiah's baby boy and Nedra and Jermaine's boy and girl twins were nearly the same age, having been born only a few weeks apart in the same month just over a year ago.
Days after she'd helped me get settled in at my new apartment, Lisa instructed me to get dressed to attend dinner at the youngest Hawkins brother's home. I'd assumed it was a birthday get-together for the babies. It wasn't until we exited the mudroom and entered Jermaine's kitchen to find a room full of people standing under a banner that said, "Congratulations Trisha!", that I realized what was actually going on. And I'd immediately burst into tears.
I'd done it.
Finally.
After two years of marinating on the idea and using every excuse in—and out of—the book about why I couldn't, I took the leap. I'd given notice at the tiny massage parlor where I'd practiced for the past seven years, declined to renew the lease on my rental, packed up my shit, and moved south. I didn't make the jump blindly though.
Back when moving somewhere with more grocery stores than churches was just a lofty goal with no timeframe in mind, I'd joined a couple of online groups and followed a few message boards created by and for queer, Black women like me. Women who needed safe spaces where they could breathe easy. With no clue what I was looking for, I lurked for months, liking posts and bookmarking information, but I didn't engage beyond that. Then, Jade, one of the handful of women that I'd actually communicated with occasionally, posted a job opening at the spa in Houston where she worked as a massage therapist. Something inside of me jolted awake and from there? It was history. I messaged Jade about the opening, explaining my situation and sharing entirely too much information about my life with a stranger, and in the process, stumbled into a new group of friends. Jade introduced me to her best friend, Melissa, and the two women helped me to plan my move.
If I knew nothing else, I knew that I would event
ually need to move out of southeast Arkansas, and for me, the next best option wasn't in-state. Houston was a natural choice because Hawk, Trina, and Boobie were there. Even if I rarely saw them after relocating, at least I wouldn't be in a new city all alone in the event of an emergency. Once the decision was made, Lisa insisted on flying with me to scout for a new home. We met up with Jade and Melissa and they guided us to what they considered the safest places in the city for single Black women. I learned where to find the best drinks—Capital Grill for happy hour during the week, VR Club and Lounge on Saturdays, and Lakeside Lounge on Sundays—and so much more over the course of a weekend. My excitement for my impending move grew with each tidbit.
Of course I felt some trepidation about leaving the place I'd called home for almost twenty years, but there was something greater I feared far more than becoming a transplant in my mid-thirties, and that was fulfilling an inescapable prophecy spoken to me by a woman I'd only met once and would never forget.
♥♥♥♥
When Drunk Bitches Spill Other Folk's Tea
Tonya was the first to speak as soon as the four of us—me, her, Lisa, and Nedra—were settled in the formal living room located near the front of the mansion that Nedra shared with her husband Jermaine. Sabrina and James had gone to bed, taking their youngest grandchildren with them, and the brothers had taken Mya and Wisdom to Jermaine's in-house, two-lane bowling alley. Nedra had grabbed two bottles of wine and told us to follow her into the relatively unused sitting area in the front of the house. Depositing the bottles onto the tray that sat atop the wide ottoman, Nedra ushered us onto the white sofas and disappeared, quickly returning with half of an already sliced Bundt cake and a stack of plates.
"How do you like it so far?"
As I sank into the plush sofa, I eyed the decadent-looking chocolate confection and shrugged. "I've only been here a week and the only places I've been able to visit—outside of work—are the grocery store and the gas station."
Tonya nodded in conciliation. "I guess you have a point."
The perfect hostess, Nedra plated thick slices of the cake and passed them around, before filling her glass to the brim with Cabernet and fixing her eyes on me. "So, what's your plan?"
Not quite sure what she was asking, I bought myself time by chewing the forkful of cake I'd put in my mouth. What I thought was a simple chocolate bundt was actually a swirl of strawberry and chocolate cake and covered with a glossy chocolate glaze. It was heaven and I'd already decided that I needed a second slice.
Undeterred by my lengthy silence, Nedra waited until I swallowed the bit of spongy sweetness and twisted my lips to the side as I asked, "Plan?"
She nodded. "Yeah. What do you plan on doing now that you've picked up and moved to a whole other state?"
Understanding dawned on me and I smiled. "Ohhhh! That's easy. It's not so much a plan as it is a mantra. Living my life to the fullest is the only thing on my agenda. Settling in, exploring the city, meeting new people, so on and so forth."
"Mmhm," Lisa murmured, her glass to her lips as her cake sat untouched on the ottoman. "Gone on and tell them why you really moved out here."
Both Nedra and Tonya sat forward on the couch they occupied. Curiosity was written all over Tonya's face and Nedra's brows were raised and lips pursed.
"Yeah, Trisha," Tonya chimed in. "Gon' on and tell us, girl."
Rolling my eyes, I shook my head. "That is the real reason I moved down here; to live life the way I should. Free to be happy, to be healthy, and to just…be."
Tonya smiled. "Aww, that's so sweet." She turned to Nedra. "Right?"
Nedra's shrewd gaze bounced between me and Lisa for a moment before a slick grin spread across her face. "Why do I feel like you forgot to add free to fuck strangers and free to fall in love?"
Mouth agape, Tonya stared at Nedra with wide eyes. "Well, damn!"
Lisa covered her mouth, failing to mask her giggles. "You hit the nail on the head, Nedra!"
In all honesty, I didn't really know Nedra and Tonya that well. These were Lisa's sisters-in-law and since they both lived in Houston, the number of times I'd met them could fit in the palm of my hand with two fingers left over. While Tonya seemed like the kind of woman to keep a polite distance until she knew you, Nedra didn't seem to ever meet a stranger. From the moment we'd met she was cracking jokes and talking to me like we were old friends. Her demeanor was comforting, like that of a favorite cousin or an old high school friend that I was once attached at the hip with. It was because of that familiarity that she could say something so over the top and personal to me and I would burst out laughing instead of getting pissed or annoyed. Plus, she was right. Offering a wide smile, I shrugged.
"Well, that too."
"I know that's right!" She held her hand up and I immediately slapped it five.
Lisa tapped my knee. "Tell them the rest of it."
"What's the rest of it?" Tonya asked.
Giving Lisa a stern look, I said, "That's it." I knew she'd gotten close to these women over the past two years but that didn't mean she needed to spill all of my business in the street.
Nedra pursed her lips and slanted a glance at me. "I feel like that's a lie."
Quirking a brow, I smirked at her. "You're having a lot of feelings tonight, aren't ya?"
"I sure the fuck am; and when y'all leave, I'm gonna take these feelings and fuck my husband with them."
Unbidden, the literal image of her doing just that flitted across my mind and I burst out laughing. "I don't think that came out the way you intended."
"Hmm," Tonya murmured thoughtfully, her fingers tapping at her chin while she stared off into the distance. "Fucking my husband does sound like the move to make."
Lisa sighed wistfully. "I agree."
Glancing at all three of them, I cackled. "Listen to the real housewives of Hawkins Realty get collectively horny for their mens."
Lisa stuttered out a laugh while Tonya cracked up loudly. Nedra was the only one who narrowed her eyes at me.
"You ain't slick, heifer. Gon' tell us the rest of the reason you moved down here. The way you're dodging the question, it must be something juicy. So, spill the tea."
My lips balled and I looked around the room as if I had no idea who she was talking to. When my eyes met with Lisa's, I groaned audibly. Her half-drunk ass was about to tell it all. I could see it in her slightly unfocused eyes.
Lifting her chin in defiance, Lisa said, "She came here looking for love."
"Awwww!" Tonya cooed again. "That is sooo sweet!"
Annoyed, I rolled my eyes. Joking around was one thing, putting something that I'd been grappling with for way too long out on front street was something else entirely. I wanted to believe that Lisa had good intentions but she was too tipsy to even spell good intentions at this point. "It's also a lie."
"Uh…" Rightly confused by my immediate attempt to shut down her excitement, Tonya glanced between me and Lisa, then over to Nedra, but I ignored them both, my glare firmly fixed on my best friend's face.
Lisa pouted. "How are you going to say it's a lie when she clearly said—"
Slicing my hand through the air to cut her off, I shook my head emphatically. "First of all, I can say it because I know what I did and didn't do. Second of all, she never said anything about coming here for that."
Lisa squinted at me. "Are you—are you arguing semantics about a psychic reading?"
Plopping her nearly empty glass of wine on the coffee table, Nedra fanned her hands in the air as if she were clearing out smoke. "Okay, hold the fuck up! Y'all talking too fast and not answering enough questions. What's this about a psychic reading?"
"Weelllll," Lisa sang before giving the two women a surprisingly brief retelling of our visit to the odd candy shop just east of downtown Houston a few years ago. She left out most of what was said to her and all of her actions once we returned home from the girls trip that led us that place.
Tonya frowned. "Okay, but what did the w
oman say to you that made you come here in particular? Why Houston?"
Placing my empty plate next to my half-full wine glass on the ottoman, I scooted back on the couch and patted my belly. "I came here in particular because a friend online told me about a job opening in my field. I was open to moving, period, because I knew that what I needed wasn't waiting for me back home."
"What she needed was love," Lisa chimed in wistfully.
Before Tonya could drop another awww, Nedra cleared her throat. "Okay, so what are you doing to find love? What's the plan?"
I threw my hands up in the air. "Come on, y'all! Give me a break; I just moved here. There is no plan other than learning the way home from work so that the drive will take fifteen minutes instead of twenty five. That's it right now."
Nedra frowned at me. "That's it?! That's kinda wack."
"See!" Lisa exclaimed. "This is why I asked y'all to look out for her! She's not taking it seriously!"
Even though she was far from the truth, she sounded so distraught that I had to laugh. "You're tripping. You're both tripping, and you're being more than a little over the top, Lee. I'm not about to go out trolling the streets, flashing pussy at strangers and asking them to come love me up. I just need to be open to the possibility of love, which you know full well was a large part of my move. Don't discount that just because it isn't happening fast enough for you. Of the two of us, I guarantee you I want to be booed up more than you want that for me."
Things Hoped For Page 1
