"Chill out, Lee."
A pleased smile on her lips, Xeno gently squeezed my hip bringing my attention to the spot where we were still connected. "You were keeping me a secret?" she asked in a teasing tone.
Before I could answer her, the host walked over to us and informed Xeno that our table was ready. Once we were seated and had placed our drink orders, Xeno called my name.
"You never answered my question."
I looked at Lisa, who wore an amused expression, before turning to Xeno. "What was the question?"
"If you were keeping me a secret."
"What? Not at all. I didn't think that bringing up your career was relative to how I felt about you. I'm sure you're not out here telling everybody about my job."
"Pshh! I tell everyone who will listen about your magical hands!"
With my brain firmly stuck in the gutter, I immediately thought of a host of things my hands could do to her body and I bit my lip as my face heated. Thankfully, the server returned with our drinks and I sipped on my cocktail while the others called out their dinner selections. I gave my order last and prayed that the subject could be changed smoothly. My prayers were answered.
"So, Lisa, how long are you in town for?"
"Just two days. That's as long as I can handle being away from my babies."
Xeno raised her eyebrows. "Oh, you have kids?"
With a soft smile on her face, Lisa nodded. "Yep, two. My third baby is my husband. That's baby daddy."
I turned to Xeno. "Jeremiah—that's Lisa's husband—is a huge fan of you and your music."
"Ooh, he's gonna be so jealous when I tell him that I had dinner with you!" Lisa cackled.
We all laughed and the rest of the evening went off without a hitch. The conversation was light with the three of us discussing our meals and Lisa catching me up on the small-town gossip from back home and the happenings since I'd been gone. At one point I excused myself to the restroom and on my way back to the table I noticed Lisa and Xeno having what looked like a serious conversation. I was concerned but the moment I arrived to the table they both aimed smiles in my direction, so I let the moment go without comment, fully intending to question them separately at a later time.
When the evening came to a close, Xeno walked with us out to the parking lot. As Lisa said her goodbyes and climbed inside my car, I sidled up to Xeno, wrapping my arms around her neck.
"Thanks for dinner." I so badly wanted to tack on a term of endearment.
She pressed her lips to mine in a soft kiss before touching our foreheads. "Thank you for allowing me to meet one of the most important people in your life. It means more to me than I can express."
"Well, you are quickly becoming an important person to me, so it only makes sense for the two of you to meet."
Instead of responding, she caressed my cheeks and planted another kiss on me. This one was deeper, pulling a moan out of me as her tongue swept into my mouth and wrote a love letter on the surface of every crevice. She broke our connection and my fingers twitched with the urge to pull her back to me for more. In fact, I was having a hard time understanding why we weren't headed to her place right then.
"Enjoy your time with your friend. Text me when you make it home."
Oh yeah, Lisa. Not trusting myself to say anything that wasn't obscene, I nodded and opened my door, sliding behind the wheel. Within minutes I was on the road, driving toward my apartment, face uncontrollably scrunched in annoyance despite how much I had enjoyed myself.
Lisa eyed me from the passenger seat. "What's wrong with you?"
Tightening my grip on the steering wheel, I shook my head and muttered, "If I fall in love and this bitch doesn't catch me, I'mma be pissed."
Twelve
Trisha
When You Pull Your Head Out Of Your Ass
Lisa's short visit put some shit into perspective for me. I'd never been one to wait or put off sex for an undetermined amount of time. That was mostly because the people that I engaged with were never relationship material. They were all just hook-ups—extended or otherwise. But I knew from the first night that Xeno was different. I could feel it even as I looked up at her on that stage, when I had no idea that I would eventually get to know her.
Meeting her backstage drove the point home in my mind—and my heart. The way I'd reacted simply being in close proximity to her should have clued me in—and maybe it did—but I didn't want to see it. I was afraid, pure and simple, and in some ways I still was. But in other ways…I had to let that shit go because I wanted this girl more than I wanted my next meal and it had been hours since I'd eaten. Mind made up, I grabbed my phone and pulled up our text thread.
We'd last spoken in the early afternoon, and she'd told me that she had a session scheduled with her personal trainer, but we never discussed what she was doing after that. I hadn't asked and she hadn't volunteered. A quick scroll through our hundreds of messages and I saw that many of our conversations went like that; with me holding back and her eventually doing the same. It wasn't like that early on. She was open with me and I thought I was reciprocating, but it just looked like I was keeping her at arm's length. It looked like I wasn't as interested—as invested—as she was, which was so far from the truth it was laughable.
I was such a damn idiot. I was doing exactly what Mama Sari told me not to do. I could picture her sitting in front of me as clearly as if it had only been yesterday and not two years since I'd been involuntarily dragged into that unassuming candy shop.
"Ready friend?" Mama Sari had asked me with kind eyes and a soft smile, her hand cradling my own.
I'd released a heavy sigh, my stomach churning with nerves as I replied, "As ready as I'll ever be, Mama Sari."
The older woman had gripped my wrist and studied my palm for a few silent minutes, my nerves growing as the seconds ticked by. Finally she broke the silence, her kind voice firm and to-the-point when she spoke.
"If you do not let go of fear, your soul mate will slip through your fingers."
My eyes had grown to the size of saucers as I stared at her in disbelief.
"There is nothing unnatural about love," she continued. "You have to decide whether to follow your hear or let fear and shame keep you on the path of lies and loneliness."
I'd cried then, silent rivulets of tears running unchecked down my cheeks as she curled my palm into a fist and pressed a kiss to my knuckles.
"You know the right path to take. Never has your intuition steered you in the wrong direction."
Not one word Mama Sari uttered had been a lie. My intuition had been banging on my chest, screaming for me to recognize Xeno for who she was, but I'd been sitting on my hands under the guise of being cautious. That changed tonight. I was gonna fuck Xeno. Then I was gonna be her girlfriend for real.
It was past time, if I was keeping it real. Unfounded fear had me holding back, but the reality was that we were both grown and capable of deciding what was the right next move to make. And most importantly—in this moment—I was horny as fuck. I typed out a brief text and sent it.
Me: wyd?
She responded quickly. I hadn't even had a chance to put the phone down and pretend that I wasn't anxious for her to see my message and text me back before it chimed. I was lowkey nervous.
Xaddy: Wondering why you're texting instead of calling…
Me: I didn't want to interrupt if you were busy in the studio or something like that.
Xaddy: When has that ever been an issue? If you call me, I'm answering. Period.
Her response had me biting my lip and doubling down on my plan to ride her pussy expeditiously. She always made me feel like I was important to her; like my presence meant something. That shit was like catnip.
Me: I want to see you.
Me: Now.
Xaddy: …Is everything okay? Did something happen?
Me: No, everything is not okay and yes, something happened. I'm horny as hell and it occurred to me that we have gone a long ass time without fucking.
I wanna rectify that.
Me: Tonight.
Xaddy: …
Xaddy: …
Xaddy: …
Xaddy: You want me to come scoop you or should I text you the address?
Me: Text me the address.
I needed to drive myself so that I didn't have to deal with the agony of sitting next to her for however long without touching her. I needed to be able to pack a bag and not feel presumptuous or out of line as I carried it to her truck. While I was tossing things into the cute Handsome Houston Hottie tote that I'd bought from Xeno's website, my phone chimed with what I assumed was her address. I plugged it into my navigator and saw that she was only a twenty minute drive from my apartment. Once I was behind the wheel I sent off one last text.
Me: otw
♥♥♥♥
When You BIWO For a Real Nigga
As soon as I turned on her street, I spotted her standing on the sidewalk in front of a one-story, craftsman-style home that sat in the corner of a large cul-de-sac. Easing my foot off of the gas, I slowed down as I drove closer, studying her as I pulled up. Hands in her pockets, she stood there with her eyes on me, dressed in a pair of loose joggers and her signature white tee. All-white, low-top chucks were on her feet and her locs were gathered in low ponytail, the thin strands hanging over her shoulder.
Instead of pulling into the driveway, I parked on the street and she was at my door before I could turn the car off. I'd expected to have a few minutes to gather my thoughts before heading to her door and kicking this thing off but she was right there, giving me just a few feet of space to climb out of the car before she pushed the door closed and crowded me up against the car. She grabbed the back of my neck with one hand while the other reached down to grip my ass as she leaned in and kissed me.
This kiss was different from every other kiss we'd shared over the past few months. It wasn't the sweet, contented smacks she gave me whenever we saw each other, nor was it the meaningful, lingering meeting of our mouths when we were on the cusp of going there but both holding back.
This was the savagery of a woman about to own me.
As she waged war on my lips with her teeth and swept her tongue into my mouth in rough swipes that sent tingles all the way down my body and touched me between my legs, I clutched at her waist and moaned my surrender. Tonight, I would be at her mercy, deferring to her every whim, and the mere thought of elevating our connection made my knees weak. When she pulled away from me, her brown eyes looked nearly black in the orange glow from the streetlight and I stared up at her in a daze of arousal.
"Did you bring a bag?"
Blinking, I licked my lips and nodded, too eager for what was next to be worried about impropriety or appearing presumptuous. "Uh, yeah."
"Good. Get it."
I was still trapped between her warm body and the side of my car, and although I definitely didn't want her to move, we needed to get inside asaptually.
"It's in the back seat."
Releasing her hold on me, she nodded and backed up, giving me enough room to turn and open my door and lift the seat forward so I could reach into the back seat and grab the bag. When I had it secured, I fixed my seat and closed the door. Xeno grabbed my hand and led me up her driveway and to the front door.
"Next time," she began once we were inside and toeing out of our shoes after she closed the door behind me, "park in the driveway."
Next time. My heart thumped at her casually mentioning me returning to her home as if it was a forgone conclusion.
"Yes ma'am."
She smirked at me and took my bag out of my hands before tugging me behind her through the darkened house until we reached the back of the dwelling.
"I'll give you a tour in the morning."
And there went the thoughts that I was getting ahead of myself by packing an overnight bag. Apparently, Xeno and I were on the same page of this book.
Her bedroom was a huge suite that seemed to take up the entire back of the house. There was the actual sleeping area, a sitting area that held a short couch, coffee table, and flat screen television, and a large en suite bathroom and attached walk-in closet. It was decorated in various earth tones, the platform bed against the wall covered in a thick, hunter-green duvet and matching sheets; the windows draped with tan and dark brown coverings.
Xeno went to drop my bag on the couch and busted out laughing.
"Yo! Why do you have this?" She was holding it up and staring at the graphic which had her logo beneath the phrase.
"Um, because I approve that message. Duh."
Shaking her head, she dropped the bag and came back to me, wrapping her arms around my waist and pulling me against her. Instantly, my arms looped around her neck as if it were a natural reaction—because it was.
"You're real funny, you know that?"
Digging my fingers into the locs at her nape, I grinned up at her. "What's funny about supporting a Black-woman-owned small business?"
Instead of answering me, she pressed her lips to mine again, effectively clearing my mind of anything but her—her scent, her flavor, her essence. She tasted like chocolate and herb and the combination was intoxicating. The need for air made us part and as I sucked air into my lungs, the hungry look in her low-lidded eyes all but made me breathless all over again.
"Will you shower with me?"
I nodded and let myself be lead into the en suite, watching as she gathered her hair into a bun at the crown of her head. She reached into the glass-enclosed shower stall and pressed a button, making water rain down from two different sprayers on opposite side of the rectangular space. Waiting until she turned back to face me, I met and held her gaze as I gripped the hem of my shirt and pulled it over my head, dropping it to the floor at my feet. I then pushed my pants down my legs and stepped out of them, all without taking my eyes off of hers. When I stood before her in my bra and panties she echoed my movements, slowly lifting her tee and undershirt over her head and stepping out of her joggers.
Greedily, my eyes roved her body, regarding her with hungry eyes, becoming increasingly giddy that I would get to have my hands on her in a short amount of time. I reached behind me to unhook my bra, letting the oppressive material fall to the floor without preamble, fueled by the sound of her sucking in a breath. With my eyes on Xeno, I saw the exact moment that she was affected by my increasing nudity. She bit her lip and lifted a hand to tweak a nipple through her bra and a soft whimper escaped my throat. I wanted to repeat that action with my teeth.
The room was filling with steam, and my chest was heaving as my breathing picked up, and how was it possible to feel so much—to become so charged with want—without laying a hand on each other?
Lastly, I pushed my panties down my thighs and widened my legs so that she could see the wetness that she had helped to create.
"Shit, baby," she murmured, stepping out of her boyshorts and slipping a hand between her thighs to touch herself. "You're so fucking sexy."
Seeing her fingers disappear beneath the springy curls at her apex was my undoing, and I rushed at her, pressing our bare bodies together and inhaling her mouth with my own. Her hands found my ass as she turned us and backed me into the shower, being careful to keep our heads out of the direct spray from overhead. We reached the center of the stall where the two shower heads were aimed to perfectly reach each part of our bodies with the hot water, leaving no patch of skin below the neck cold or dry.
Xeno stepped away from me to grab a loofah and bottle of body wash from the built-in shelf on the wall, returning to me with tender hands as she brushed soapy trails all over my body. She touched and teased me as she worked from my neck to my feet, flicking her tongue at my nipples, nipping at my hip with her teeth, placing soft kisses on my belly and thighs. When she finished, she rinsed the loofah until the water ran clear and lifted one of my feet to rest on the stone bench against the wall opposite of where we'd entered. Holding my gaze captive, she brushed the wet loofah between my legs back and forth
until the rough texture against my engorged clit became too much to handle and my thighs trembled with the need to shut and halt the onslaught of sensation.
"Baby," I whined, "please." Please stop torturing me. Please let me come. Please fuck me.
Maybe she knew what I was begging for, maybe she didn't, but she lowered her hand and backed away from me, going back over to the shelf to squeeze another healthy dollop of bodywash onto the loofah. Bottom lip firmly trapped between my teeth, I watched as she bathed herself, dropping her head against her shoulder blades as the water ran down her body and rinsed the soap away.
After sufficiently driving me crazy with desire for her, Xeno shut off the water and we exited the stall, drying off with plush green towels that matched the linens on her bed. We hung the towels on hooks by the door before finding ourselves in her bed, Xeno sitting with her back against the headboard, me straddling her waist.
"Lay back," she murmured against my skin, her lips brushing my earlobe and teasing the sensitive skin below it.
The sensation elicited a body-wide shudder from me and though I wanted to follow her directive, as I shook my head.
None too pleased with my answer, she pulled my head down to sear my lips with a bruising kiss, pressing forward so that we were chest-to-chest, the hard points of her nipples digging into my breasts making me wetter than ever. When I was satisfactorily breathless and panting, she broke our connection and touched her forehead to mine. Her deep brown eyes bored into mine and within the lust I saw a sliver of worry—of concern.
"Do you trust me to take care of you?" She whispered against my lips and for a moment my heart ached because this was a real question; one that my hesitance had made her ask.
I didn't hesitate, swiftly nodding and kissing her again, this time, softer—assuring. "Of course. Do you trust me to do the same?" I stared down at her, waiting for an answer as I ground down against her.
Things Hoped For Page 10
