“I had a lot of momentum going there,” she cracked, making his smile widen.
“I would’ve cushioned the impact for you. We were going in the same direction, anyway.”
Chapter 5
Joseph was smiling at Mary full out, making his eyes crinkle and her insides turn to goo. She hid her growing smile in the throw pillow she’d been cradling to her chest, torn between laughing and groaning. She didn’t really like games, but she’d clearly played herself something fierce five years ago. Nevertheless, before she could truly let herself bask in this burgeoning revelation, she had to get the story once and for all.
“You weren’t embarrassed about being caught with me?”
He frowned. “Why would I be embarrassed?”
Though she was an adult with a great job and answered to nobody but God, Mary turtled up again, feeling like the teenager she hadn’t been in nearly twenty years. She’d felt so vulnerable that night and morning, stripped and laid bare. The nudity of her body hadn’t been the source of her anxiety, especially not after Joseph had looked at her like a little boy who’d eaten all his vegetables at dinner and she were his favorite dessert. This was a shame that wasn’t hers to carry, but she’d made space for in her heart regardless. It was time to unload it, but she didn’t want him to pick it up, either.
“Any, erm, ‘interlude’ I’ve had with someone has always been in darkness and secret,” she said, shrugging again, although her throat was growing tight with the shame she was attempting to expel. “A closet here, a hidden corner there. My first kiss was in a band practice room in high school. The boy didn’t even turn on the light to see me.”
“Mary—”
She held up a hand and shook her head, feeling close to shattering. She couldn’t handle how compassion for her made Joseph’s voice soft and dewy. She was too fragile for that right then.
“Invariably, there would be teasing of him, which would lead to disavowal of me. I thought I’d grown callouses against that, but I blistered and bruised when I heard them teasing you about me. I didn’t want to hear you join them at my expense.”
“Mary—”
“But now,” she barreled on, needing to get this out now because she didn’t think she’d be able to find more words if she stopped speaking for longer than two seconds. “I’m sitting here with a shame that certainly doesn’t belong to you and never has. You’ve only ever been kind to me, not ashamed—”
“Why would anyone be ashamed of you?”
He sounded so bewildered by the prospect, like the very notion was too bizarre to comprehend. She felt herself losing the battle with her tears but she took a deep breath for a final defense. “I heard you laugh with them, but I realized later it wasn’t with humor. You weren’t angry at my expense, were you? You were angry on my behalf.”
His nod was slow as if heavy with his confirmation. “They were assholes.”
“I thought you were one,” Mary confessed, “right until I got in the taxi to go to the airport. I’ve been ashamed of myself ever since and shunted it all off on you.”
And that was the real reason she hadn’t been able to reach out to Joseph and explain her actions. Her shame at her behavior had been too great, trebled by her fear she was blowing an experience well out of proportion. How she’d felt that night, like her world had shifted on its axis to the point it orbited in a completely new way, was likely not the same for him.
She was dark-skinned with broad features in a society that preferred skin lighter and features finer. Men always qualified her attractiveness: “You’re pretty for a fill-in-the-blank,” nicked her more than outright rejection. She didn’t need to hear them rationalize why it was okay to want her even though she didn’t look like a standard lingerie cover model.
So, yes, Joseph was a catch, but Mary was a pharmacologist, not a fisherman. Her bait was rarely alluring, with most men liking curves of a specific amount in specific places whereas she was abundant with hers everywhere. Her hooks were dulled by her excitement of peptide strains and how proteins interacted with chemical compounds, leaving her out the loop of many watercooler topics until the zeitgeist had moved on to the next flashpoint. And then she’d seen his social media posts with him and other women, some of which indicated obvious relationships, and she’d thought it better to stick to creating drugs for dementia treatment rather than more drama for herself.
She wasn’t a science experiment on the properties of human attraction. She was a human being with feelings. And damn her, but Joseph had treated her only as the latter, not the former.
“All that being said, Joseph, I’m very sorry for my behavior,” she said, finally looking him in the eyes. He deserved that much. “I should’ve been forthcoming with you instead of a coward. We didn’t make any promises that night, I know, but I would’ve been gutted to hear that it was something that embarrassed you. I’d preferred being back in Boston and in the lab to enduring an awkward post-wedding breakfast with everyone laughing.”
“Apology accepted.”
There. That was done. But Mary didn’t feel any more settled now than when Joseph had plopped himself into the seat next to her on the plane. Business felt unfinished still, although she didn’t understand why. She’d apologized and he’d accepted. What else was there to say or do?
“Hey.”
She looked up.
“Come here.”
Her eyebrows rose. “Why?”
His smile was hesitant and curious. “I want to give you a hug. Start over and fresh. How about it?”
“Most people would do that with a handshake, wouldn’t they?”
“Would a handshake make you feel more comfortable?”
“Comfortable” and “cop-out” were not the synonyms she wished them to be. She’d gotten a taste of being in his arms again at the rental car counter, and it’d been torture separating from him after their performance as a couple had ended. But now, this hold would be for nothing but themselves.
Deciding to borrow bravery from an idealized version of herself, Mary stood and went to him, stopping just shy as he stood. His eyes were kind, not filled with heat like the last time she’d been alone with him. They were truly starting over, establishing far more appropriate boundaries.
Which felt just as rickety now as they’d felt back then, crumbled to the ground with a well-placed whisper and the brush of words against the curve of her jaw.
Nevertheless, Mary went the safe route, wrapping her arms around Joseph’s trim waist and resting her cheek on his strong shoulder. He still smelled good, even after competing with jetliner air and airport atmospheres. Unthinkingly, Mary buried her nose deeper into his shoulder and inhaled, choking back a moan as his arms tightened around her and drew her closer.
“God, I’ve missed you.”
Those were her thoughts, but not her words. They were too deep and breathless, vibrating against her temple instead of rising from her own throat.
“Every time I fly from Boston, I ask flight attendants if you might be on the plane. Like a nerd.”
Mary’s entire body went warm and she smiled, pulling back to look at him. “Really?”
“Yeah,” he said, rolling his eyes. “The easiest and most direct route would’ve been to reach out to you on social media or even ask your brother, but I was afraid...well...”
He shrugged.
He had reached out to her on social media, but she’d left him on read because she hadn’t known what to say to him, too nervous he’d bring up her ghosting him. He’d only tried three times before stopping altogether, letting her slip into creeper mode while following him. In fact, the most she’d written to him were happy birthday greetings, something everyone could do with little notice or fanfare. Luckily for her, Joseph rarely responded to every greeting, just giving a mass thanks to everyone. Mary had her birthday unlisted on social media, so only people who knew her gave her greetings. Given she only followed a handful of people, she didn’t get many. Her brother didn’t even leave m
essages on her feed.
She groaned, her laugh self-deprecating. “I’m an idiot.”
“No,” he said, squeezing her again. “At least no more than me. I let our silence linger too.”
“Only because I was too much of a chicken to respond to you those first few times.”
“You’re responding now.”
Boy, was she ever. Her body felt heavy thanks to his continued squeezing, as if he were a baker and she were dough. She certainly had rolls on her sides and back, rolls he’d kneaded and squeezed and nipped during their one night together. She’d felt delicious then. She’d only ever risen for him.
Feeling bolder, Mary pressed herself closer to him and pursed her lips against the skin of his neck. His answering moan made her pussy swell and throb, as did the way his arms tightened further around her, as if letting her go went against every fiber of his being.
“Mary,” he breathed, turning her name into a prayer. “When I said I missed you, I don’t mean just this way.”
How did he know that was the absolute right thing to say to her? She muffled her chuckle into his shoulder. “You really missed hearing me talk about signal relay pathways? And my disappointments when clinical trials show the drugs I’ve been formulating haven’t worked?”
“I miss hearing the passion in your voice, the sparkle in your eyes, the way you’re so animated when you talk about doing what you love. Pharmacology to you is like flying to me. I could listen to you talk for hours because of it.”
Mary inhaled a mighty breath, making her breasts rise and fall against his chest. She watched his eye flicker with lust, but the base emotion she saw in them was the opposite of sordid. Genuine and earnest, Joseph looked at her like she were the skies he so dearly loved. It was too soon for that gaze, but she lapped it up anyway.
She’d never been someone’s sky, only their shadow.
“I generally don’t like to fly,” she admitted.
“I know. I remember that was one of the first things you said to me when we met.”
She nodded and stood on her tiptoes, brushing her lips against the lobe of his ear. “I liked flying with you.”
Chapter 6
Joseph’s legs could no longer support him. He plopped back onto the couch, taking Mary with him so she sprawled against his chest. Her yelp made him smile, but then she adjusted herself so she straddled his hips and suddenly nothing was funny. Her leggings were thin and clung to her big legs, lovingly hugging every generous curve she possessed. His hands found the globes of her ass on their own accord and squeezed. She whimpered in his ear.
“Joseph.”
“You’re not talkin’ about today, are you?” he asked against her soft cheek.
She shook her head. “But you made that bearable, like nothing bad could happen as long as you held me.”
“God, Mary,” he whispered, sliding his hand up her back to cup her nape. He stroked the side of her neck with his thumb and felt her shiver. He remembered that was one of her spots. He groaned and replaced his thumb with his tongue, sucking the erogenous zone. Her thighs squeezed around him with decadent pressure.
He sucked her harder to keep from telling her he’d hold her forever if he could. It was too soon for such a sentiment, even if the truth of it settled in him like fresh air after a cross-country flight.
He noted when the shivers transformed into shudders. Just that quick. He cooed and ground harder against her, helping her get this first orgasm out of the way. Her breathing was heavy and harsh in his ear, a veritable symphony. His shirt chafed his nipples from the force of her squirming atop him.
He much preferred her bare nipples to abrade his.
Her release was guttural and greedy, making ejaculate spurt from the head of his cock. It was wasted in the fabric of his boxers and sweatpants. If he couldn’t spill directly inside her, the next best option was a condom while he was inside her.
But to get said condoms, he’d have to stand and carry Mary into the bedroom where his suitcase was, and she didn’t seem ready to go airborne just yet.
Besides, he shouldn’t just presume. He needed her “I want this” full-throated and enthusiastic.
Her fingers slid into his hair and began to massage his scalp. He moaned, letting his head fall back. Her mouth found the column of his throat and pressed the lightest kiss against his skin. He squirmed. She’d remembered where his spot was too.
“I love the weight of you,” he blurted. She froze atop him and he winced. He did not have a big girl fetish, and he preferred his lovers to ride him under normal circumstances. But something about Mary on top of him made him feel safe and cocooned.
She started to pull back but he held her. “Please.”
“I don’t look like those women in your pictures.”
He felt his cheeks flame. “Doing It for the ’Gram” was such a fraught endeavor sometimes, but it was the only way to show Deon and the others he had a life outside the cockpit. Outside of reliving his night with Mary over and over again. He’d liked some of the women he’d been with a lot—a lot—but when his guard was down and his dreams were up, Mary’s face filled his mind and made his fingertips tingle with the urge to touch her again. Made his lips quiver to brush them against her lips and her cheeks and her nose. Made his ears want her laughter and her squeals and her sighs.
He grasped her chin and guided her face so that she had no choice but to look into his eyes. “Do you believe I’m attracted to you?”
She nodded. “Yes.”
“And you believe I’m not ashamed of this attraction?”
She nodded again, but then she shook her head. “I just don’t understand it.”
And as a scientist, she needed to, he guessed. She had to understand the why of things, how things worked, what made a thing a thing. And according to the evidence of his social media pages and his friend group, she was an outlier, someone who should’ve never piqued his interest to the point he wanted to make her peak over and over again, all night long, for as many nights as he could.
Days and afternoons too.
Joseph kissed her jaw. “I don’t understand how gravity works. I just know it does, and I have to make sure it works the way I want it to, to get people to and from safely.”
“Okay.”
He looked at her again, smiling at the confused furrow between her curved eyebrows. “But you’re not gravity. I mean, you can be grave, but you’re not gravity.”
She snorted. “Nice.”
“Thank you.”
“I don’t understand why I let you do what you’ve done with me,” she murmured. She stroked her hands along his neck and shoulders. It was as if she wanted to map him with her palms, get the lay of his land, an explorer who wanted to know if he were worth the claiming. He was. He hoped. He needed to be. “Pretty boys have whispered pretty words to me before, but they had no heft to them.”
“You think I’m pretty?”
She scowled at him. “You have a hashtag, sir. #PilotBae.”
He cringed and chuckled. He’d been a feature for one of those lifestyle websites a few years back. Though the celebrity had faded since then, he still posed for the occasional pictures. His airline had even given him a bonus that year for all the extra airfares he’d sold for them.
“Deon finally shut that shit down. I threatened not to let him use my buddy passes anymore, he teased me so bad.”
“The man is a millionaire!”
“And cheap as fuck.”
Mary giggled and nodded. “Got that from his dad. Mr. Julius was so frugal!”
It was weird to hear Deon’s sibling call his father by the same title Joseph did, like they weren’t a family. He eyed her then with fresh eyes, replayed the conversations he’d had with her and Deon with fresh ears. What he now processed made his heart ache and his arms close around her more. Deon didn’t know what was going on in Mary’s life. In fact, Layla was the one who tended to answer the questions he’d ask about Mary. Deon would just shrug and have no
more curiosity after the inquiries than before. He just now realized it’d been Layla who’d given Deon the information to give to him, her voice echoing in the background as Deon parroted the words.
Deon had joined in the teasing Mary had overheard.
An irritation that had been humming on low for the longest flared to life. He’d been so angry with all of them during that conversation, but Deon most of all. He hadn’t been able to articulate why, a maelstrom of emotions making his thoughts cloudy and his tongue heavy. But in the clarity of Mary’s gaze upon him, of his arms around her, he now knew why he’d wanted to smash a fist into Deon’s face first and foremost.
“Deon’s an asshole.”
Mary’s eyes widened and she blinked at him. “I thought we established that already.”
He cursed under his breath and tightened his arms around her. “He was so eager to give me your info so we could travel together to embarrass you, not as a favor to me.”
Understanding filled Mary’s eyes and she shrugged, some of the light that had been shining brighter and brighter dimming. “I was the uncool, nerdy, fat older stepsister who wasn’t really a stepsister since our parents were never officially married. I wasn’t interested in football and he wasn’t interested in beakers and test tubes. His Bowl of choice is Super. Mine is Science. It’s fine.”
“It’s not,” Joseph said, squeezing her. “When I see him next, we’re gonna have a talk.”
“Don’t,” Mary said, cupping his cheek and shrugging. “Besides, it was a favor. For both of us. You kept me sane on that flight, Joseph.”
He nodded, closing his eyes. “Least I could do.”
“You gave me an orgasm just now too.”
The teasing in her tone made his lips stretch into a smug smile. “That was certainly my pleasure.”
“And now it’s my turn to give. ’Tis the season, and all.”
Grounded for Christmas Page 3
