by Price, Sarah
Oh, Amanda knew that Alejandro was dealing with this unexpected development in the best manner possible. The way that he fought to maintain his aura of control hinted at the underlying stress that he undoubtedly felt. The situation was not ideal, Amanda thought, her gaze moving from Alejandro back to the little girl. But this was the way that God wanted it to be. There was a reason Alejandro had never learned of the mother’s death and a reason he’d only learned about it while in Rio with his wife, in the midst of his tour. There simply was not enough time now to think about what to do or to consider different options. So while only he could take the blame for his past behavior, Amanda also realized that this unexpected situation was not his fault. And regardless of blame or guilt, there was only one outcome: together, they would have to deal with suddenly becoming a family of three.
“What do we do now?” Amanda kept her voice low even though she knew Isadora could not understand her words. She expected that he had a plan. He always had a plan; he was always in complete control. Now, more than ever, she needed to know what he thought and how they were supposed to proceed.
But, for the first time, he didn’t offer a plan or advice on what needed to be done. The worn expression on his face as he lifted his hand and rubbed at his jaw told her without words what she did not want to hear: he, too, was at a loss. His lack of an immediate response indicated that, for the first time since she’d known him, he had no proposed solution to a problem.
“Alejandro!”
He backed away from her. “I am thinking, Amanda. I have been thinking all night.”
“Ja vell!” she snapped. “That’s a lot longer than I have had to process this!” Immediately, she hated the words and her tone. If she could take them back, she would. Not once while growing up had she heard her parents argue. She didn’t want to be like the Englischers who spoke in such a disrespectful way to their spouses. “I’m sorry, Alejandro. I’m just . . . taken aback,” she said, struggling to find words to express how she felt, “by the suddenness of this.”
Alejandro took a deep breath, and after he’d exhaled, acknowledged her words by nodding. “I understand, Amanda.”
When she realized that he was struggling to maintain his composure, her sense of compassion as well as her love for him overcame her. She took a step toward him and pulled him into her arms, a gesture he returned by pressing her against him. She could feel his heart pounding beneath his shirt, another indicator of how troubled he truly was. Oh, how she wished she could take away his pain.
Leaning back, she reached up and pressed her hands against his cheeks. As she studied his face, she noticed for the first time how tired he looked. She couldn’t fathom what type of restless night he’d had. “We will get through this, Alejandro,” she said. “Together, ja? And what does this change? Nothing, really.” She smiled and glanced at the little girl. “There will just be three of us now.”
“Three,” he repeated, a hint of disbelief in his voice.
“And you said you wanted to start a family, ja?”
“Ay, Princesa,” he said, leaning forward to touch his forehead against hers. “No teasing. Not about this.” But she could sense that he felt less stressed. Had his biggest fear been accepting the responsibility of a child he had fathered but did not know, or had it been her reaction? Her acceptance of the situation and willingness to work together seemed to calm him, if only a little.
The vibration of his cell phone interrupted them. He released his hold on her, but only after he kissed the top of her head, his lips lingering just long enough for the phone to vibrate a third time. With a sigh, he reached into his pocket and answered it as he withdrew from the room.
Alone with Isadora, Amanda wasn’t certain what to do. She hesitated before she pulled out a chair and—slowly, so she didn’t startle the little girl—sat down. The girl turned to look at her with those blue eyes, so familiar to Amanda but in a strange face. Isadora glanced over Amanda’s shoulder toward the door. In an instant, a look of panic crossed her face and she jumped up. Her little legs ran toward the spot, now occupied by the suitcase, where her grandfather had stood.
Amanda quickly followed.
“Onde está o meu avô?” Isadora cried out, her voice sounding small. “Avô?”
From the way Isadora looked around, tears falling from her eyes as she repeated that word, Amanda suspected that she was calling out for her grandfather.
“Shh,” Amanda whispered and knelt down. She reached up one hand to press against the door so that Isadora could not open it. She felt her heart breaking as the child began to sob, her shoulders heaving as she realized that Avô was gone and she was to stay with these strangers. Amanda wished she had thought to ask Maria Fernanda about what Isadora had been told. At five years old, surely she could not understand being left behind.
“What’s going on?”
Ignoring Alejandro’s question as he returned to the room, Amanda reached out with her free hand to try comforting Isadora, but that only caused her to scream and back away into the corner. “Please, Isadora,” Amanda tried to comfort her. “Please don’t cry.” When the crying continued, Amanda felt her own eyes well up with tears. She looked at Alejandro as if he could help. “Say something to her. Please!” she whispered.
He shifted his gaze from Amanda to the child. Amanda could see what he was thinking: without knowing her language, there was little that he could do. He ran his hand through his hair, clearly frustrated and weary after the past twelve hours, which had been so filled with surprises. “Look at your cell phone,” he finally said. “Try a translation software.”
“A translation software?” Amanda repeated, staring at him in disbelief. Had Alejandro truly suggested that she turn to technology to comfort a terrified child? The noise coming from the child, so distraught and hysterical, tore at her emotions. She wanted to wrap her arms around Isadora, hold her tight, and comfort her with words that meant something to the little girl. Technology could never replace the warmth and reassurance of a maternal embrace. Disappointed with his suggestion, Amanda offered a better solution. “Mayhaps you might want to find a translator, ja? A female preferably?”
“¡Sí, sí!” He shook his head as he began typing on his phone. “I’m sorry, Amanda. I’m not thinking clearly.”
Neither of us are, she wanted to say. Instead, Amanda returned her attention to Isadora, who had pressed her face against the wall as she stood in the corner. Moving closer to her, Amanda continued with a soft “Shh” and reached out her hand to gently rub Isadora’s back. She felt the child’s skin tremble beneath her hand, and for a moment, she almost withdrew her touch. But she didn’t. Whatever Isadora had been through, Amanda knew that love would be the only way to create a bond.
Softly, Amanda began to sing a hymn in Pennsylvania Dutch, something that her mother had done so many years ago. She hoped that the uplifting tune and softness of her voice would calm Isadora. Instead, she cried out for her grandfather.
Alejandro began to pace the floor, his shoulders pushed back as he tried to remain calm. Amanda did not even need to look at him to know that the noise of the child’s crying and the tension in the air was breaking down his resolve to remain calm. Focusing on Isadora, Amanda continued singing as she rubbed her back, hoping against hope that it would pacify her.
When someone knocked at the door, Alejandro hurried to answer it. Amanda shifted her weight so that he could open it without knocking into either her or Isadora. A young woman walked into the room, and Alejandro spoke to her in Spanish. And there it begins, Amanda thought. Whatever Alejandro said to the woman would, undoubtedly, be repeated to friends and posted on social media.
How long, she wondered, until the entire world knows about this love child?
The young woman knelt beside Amanda and began to speak to the child in Portuguese. Within minutes, the hysterics turned to soft sobbing and the loud cries to mere whimpers. Betw
een them, the woman and Amanda managed to calm Isadora and even persuaded her to turn around so that they could wipe the tears from her face.
Alejandro spoke softly and slowly in Spanish so that his words could be translated. At one point, Isadora looked at him with her blue eyes, the first time that Amanda had noticed her do so. And then, just as quickly, she turned her gaze to Amanda.
In that moment, as the swollen, tearstained face of the five-year-old girl tilted so that she could get a better look at her, something stirred inside Amanda. It felt like the slow rumble of distant thunder in her heart and grew until she was struck with the realization that she was now responsible for mothering this child. Tears welled in her eyes and she blinked rapidly, hoping that she could stop herself from crying. She forced a smile and, once again, reached out to brush her fingers against Isadora’s cheek, touching the outline of a final tear.
Isadora was obedient. That was the first thing Amanda noticed about her. She listened to Alejandro’s voice and paid attention to the woman translating what he said into words that she could understand. Those blue eyes did not question the strange man who spoke in a different language. And, to Amanda’s surprise, Isadora remained transfixed by her as the woman continued translating. At one point, Amanda held out her hand, palm up, and encouraged Isadora to take it. She did.
“Come with me,” Amanda said softly.
The woman beside her translated the words.
“Trust me, Isadora,” Amanda continued. “I want to wash your face and then hold you a spell.”
The woman hesitated, not quite understanding, before she figured out how to translate.
Quietly, Amanda stood up and walked as slowly as she could toward the bedroom door, holding Isadora’s hand. Isadora padded along beside her. Amanda’s heart pounded as the two of them left the safety of the large open room with the translator who could help them communicate. But Isadora clutched her hand, and there was nothing more than a sniffle to indicate that, just a few minutes before, she had been crying so hysterically.
In the bathroom, Amanda led Isadora to the sink. She watched as those blue eyes stared at the fancy bathroom with its crystal chandelier hanging over a large bathtub and marble tiles lining the floor and walls. After giving Isadora time to take in the new environment, Amanda placed her hands on the girl’s tiny waist, pausing to indicate with a tilt of her head that she intended to lift her to sit on the counter. Without any fight, Isadora allowed her to do just that.
As the silence was broken by the sound of running water, Amanda reached for a white hand cloth. After waiting for the warm water, she wet the cloth and wiped Isadora’s cheeks. She tried to maintain eye contact as she silently prayed for help from God. The thought of caring for a child did not overwhelm her. The thought, however, of caring for this particular child did.
At home in Lititz, there were always children present at gatherings. Children were a very important part of the Amish lifestyle. Amanda remembered well how her younger brother, Aaron, used to cry and fuss when he was small. Their mother never once lost patience with him. Instead, she would smile and talk softly, comforting him by projecting her own sense of peace. Amanda could only pray that she might imitate her mother’s practice and find success in comforting Isadora.
When they returned to the sitting room, Alejandro was standing at the window again. The translator spoke to Isadora. With some reluctance, the girl released Amanda’s hand and took the other woman’s. They walked over to the kitchen area, giving Alejandro and Amanda some privacy.
“Alejandro?”
He did not move. With his back still turned toward her, he reached out his hand for hers. She crossed the room and took it. For a long moment, they stood there, staring out the window at the city of Rio de Janeiro, no words passing between them.
She rested her head on his shoulder and felt a sense of calm fill her. What time I am afraid, I will trust in thee. The verse from Psalms came to her mind as if God spoke to her, his words filling her with the peace that she hoped to project. Amanda knew that, without a doubt, God’s plan was unfolding before her eyes. Everything that had previously made little to no sense to Amanda now became clear. He had led her to this very moment, a moment that would undoubtedly change the lives of many people, especially one: Isadora Daniela da Silva.
Amanda knew that Alejandro’s decision would have been different under different circumstances. Most likely, he would have dismissed the woman who’d come from the government, and without even setting eyes on Isadora, he would have sent her to live in the orphanage. She would have been destined to live a life of structure and routine, with limited emotional support until the time came for her to be discarded into the streets of Rio de Janeiro.
But turning his back on his own child was the old Alejandro . . . Viper from the past. The new Alejandro knew that he could not just run away from his responsibility. Amanda couldn’t help but wonder if that would have been the case if they had not met.
“It’s going to be all right,” Amanda said. And for the first time since she had awoken that day, she actually meant it.
Chapter Fourteen
Ever since their departure from the hotel, Isadora had clung to Amanda, her eyes widening with fright at everything: from the car that picked them up at the hotel to the crowds at the airport, and then the airplane. Nothing had been easy about that day. In fact, it seemed to get progressively worse with each moment that passed. At several points, Amanda felt that she might break down and cry. She was overwhelmed by the surreal feeling that she was trapped in a bad dream, especially whenever tears welled up in Isadora’s eyes.
The photographers had been waiting outside of the hotel overnight. Alejandro tipped Amanda off that they were waiting for Viper’s departure. Now the world would know that a child was leaving with them.
“Perhaps Geoffrey should get your publicity people on this?” Amanda had suggested.
But Alejandro merely shook his head. She knew that the shock she felt was just a fraction of what he was experiencing. Her suggestion went ignored as he stood there in the center of the room, perfectly composed in every way except for his worried eyes.
He watched her hold Isadora, who, after an hour of sobbing, had finally fallen asleep in Amanda’s arms. Reluctant to release the child, Amanda rocked her back and forth, slowly and gently so that she didn’t disturb her. Occasionally, she looked down into the sleeping face of Alejandro’s illegitimate child. Her heart broke for Isadora, who by all indications had lived a tough life, if not physically then at least emotionally.
But she wasn’t so certain that Alejandro was feeling the same thing.
Despite his strong composure, she saw the truth. He couldn’t hide it from her. His eyes gave it away: Alejandro was terrified.
“She’s sucking her thumb,” Amanda whispered.
Alejandro glanced down at his daughter and then looked away.
“Alejandro?”
He tugged at the sleeve of his shirt and smoothed out the imaginary wrinkles. “We won’t make a public statement,” he said. “Not yet.”
Ah, she thought. So that was what was occupying his mind. “They’ll speculate, ja? Won’t that be worse?”
He looked at her through exhausted eyes. “They’ll know.” And with that simple explanation, he reached into his pocket for his phone and walked out of the room, his attention on the phone and not on the turmoil unfolding behind him.
Ten minutes later, the knock on the door announced the arrival of security guards. Alejandro returned from the next room and stood before Amanda. “I’ll carry her,” he said. They hadn’t anticipated that the transfer would awaken Isadora, but upon seeing herself being removed from Amanda’s arms, she began to squirm and cry. When she reached out her arms in Amanda’s direction, her small feet kicking at Alejandro’s arms and chest, Amanda couldn’t take it anymore.
“Here, let me, then,” she said, openin
g her arms to receive the little girl.
Alejandro did not appear happy with the exchange.
When they had finally calmed Isadora down and managed to make their way to the lobby, the media began snapping photos and asking questions right away. Because of the language barrier, neither Alejandro nor Amanda understood what they were asked, and they walked straight through the crowd to the waiting car. Isadora, however, had understood them, and she wrapped her arms around Amanda’s neck, hiding her face from the noisy crowd of people. Even when Amanda tried to get the child into the car, Isadora had refused to release her grip, making it necessary for Amanda to climb in while still holding her.
And then came the scene at the airport.
Amanda hoped that one day she might find humor in the difficulty they’d encountered when they had boarded the private jet. Isadora, her hand clutching Amanda’s and her body pressed tightly against her side, had stopped when it came time to ascend the stairs to the airplane. She simply refused to move.
Alejandro was already on board with his phone to his ear, having a teleconference. The security detail stood at the bottom of the stairs, waiting for Amanda and Isadora to follow him, but Isadora refused. She stared at the airplane as if she didn’t know what it was. It dawned on Amanda that Isadora had never flown before, so she approached her gently and gestured for her to climb the stairs. But Isadora shook her head and turned, burying her face in Amanda’s skirt.
Desperate for help, Amanda looked at the security guard who had accompanied them to the plane. “Please,” she said. “Could you explain to her that everything is fine?”
He nodded and, in a gentle voice, translated Amanda’s words.
No response.
“Amanda!”
She looked up and saw Alejandro standing in the doorway of the plane, a look of frustration on his face. “I’m trying, Alejandro,” she responded, and motioned toward Isadora. “She’s afraid.”
