Tristan gave him the middle finger. “Get the fuck out.”
The big vampire snorted a laugh and yanked the warped door open. He left with no snarky rebuttal, no dirty or smiling looks. Only silence.
Tristan went to the open door and called out. “Hey asshole, you owe me a new front door!” The vampire was already gone and Tristan slammed the door shut only for it bounce back at him. He made an angry noise and kicked it, hard. The latch caught, but the door looked flimsy. He really didn’t have time to deal with this.
He turned and came face to face with Ash, still standing in her spot very near the door. They stared at each other for a few moments and then Tristan looked away, going to the sink to wash off the blood. Some of it was his, a lot more of it was Desmond’s. He was still having a hard time believing he bested the big guy. Ash’d never said how old Desmond was, but from the color of his hair and the way he handled himself, it was clear that Desmond was a Master of his power over Water. He was lucky Desmond didn’t just drown him. Instead of letting himself get caught up on Desmond, Tristan had other things to worry about just then.
“I didn’t think you were coming back.”
Ash took a moment to answer, shoving her shock away before Tristan could turn around and see it. “Why would I not?”
He sighed, shut off the water and forced himself to turn and look at her. She’d always been the most beautiful woman he’d ever known and now was no exception. She left yesterday wearing one of her training uniforms, a kimono top and a pair of straight cut cotton pants. They were far from sexy, but Ash knew how to wear the shit out that outfit and make it look good. Her long white hair was always shiny, her smooth pale skin always flawless and her transparent purple eyes always full of emotion. Too bad he could never really read them.
“I thought… well, after I…” He didn’t even know where to start with everything that was wrong. “I’m sorry, I—God, what was that? What’d Yuki do to me?”
Ash shook her head. “I wish I knew.”
“Me too… I’m so sorry. I really didn’t mean to hurt you… to call you a whore.”
“Of no consequence, Tristan.” She’d been called, and done, far worse in her long years.
“No.” He pushed off the counter and went to her. She blinked up at him, unable to keep herself from looking at the small gash on his cheek that he had yet to notice. “I mean… about everything. Look. I get it now, you’d rather be with someone of your own kind. I was just upset that you didn’t tell me up front.” Really, she made it seem just the opposite, but he couldn’t afford to have her as an enemy. If they were going to part, it had to be on amicable terms. She was a good person and a docile vampire, he wanted it to stay that way.
“Tristan,” she said softly, shaking her head. She reached up and took his face into her hands and pulled him towards her, making him bend as she guided his mouth to hers. She didn’t open her mouth, but she was putting as much feeling into that small kiss as possible.
She pulled back and whispered, “I made the decision to be with you. That decision has not changed.”
“Yeah, but then what about all that business with Lucien yesterday?”
Ash stiffened and stepped back. “We can talk about that later.”
“Later?”
“Yes,” she said pointedly and turned towards the bedroom. “We must leave now if we are to beat the sun.”
“Wha—You mean, you’re going with me?”
She stopped inside the bedroom and turned to look at him, brow raised high in amusement. “Of course I am.”
Tristan nodded and muttered, “Of course you are.” Desmond knew already, somehow. It made him wonder what the guy whispered about to Ash that he didn’t want Tristan to hear. Not that they couldn’t pick one of a hundred other languages that Tristan didn’t understand.
Ash turned away again to change and pack a few things. Tristan was left standing in his living room, watching her bustle about in the bedroom, still as confused about their relationship as he was yesterday and every day before that. Would he ever really know where the line was? He was afraid the answer was no.
5: Blame
LESS than two hours later, after a movie car chase worthy ride to Akita airport with Ash behind the wheel of his little sports car, Tristan was seated in a deep bucket seat on Yuki’s private plane. The flight was more than comfortable with its leather seats, plush dark red carpet and fully stocked bar. Guess he didn’t really expect anything less with the Snow Princess. He felt like some hot shot rock star. There was even a special “dark room” at the back of the plane for daylight flights, completely windowless and with light sealed doors. It held only a large bed—orgy sized—that took up the whole damn room.
While Ash took inventory of the stuff Yuki sent along, Tristan got comfortable in his seat with a big glass of Jack and Coke, and a book he’d wanted to read for ages. He bought it just before his parents died and never got around to reading it. Ironically, it was a vampire story. He usually went for high fantasy, but the occasional paranormal was good reading too. Too bad it was all made up and didn’t help him with his current situation. He really could have used an up-to-date vampire manual right about then.
“An excellent novel.”
Tristan looked up over the edge of the book, meeting Ash’s eyes. She grinned, flashing fang.
“He gets his lovely body back from the body thief and gives dear David the Dark Gift. Though, why he would ever consider such a dark fate a gift, I shall never understand.”
He huffed and dropped the paperback to his lap. “I can’t believe you just did that.”
She gave him a mischievous little smile and plopped down in the chair next to his in this childish, whimsical sort of way. She was way too cheery and so… not her. She actually batted her eyes.
He sighed and tossed the book aside, done with it for now. Uncomfortable in his suit and the gun digging into his side, he shifted around in his seat. It was Ash’s idea to dress nicely. And while he didn’t mind cleaning up now and then, he didn’t understand why they had to for a mission like this. Then again, he did so enjoy looking at her in her dark teal silk shirt tucked neatly into the snug fitting charcoal gray pencil skirt. Her shapely legs were dressed nicely with seam-back stockings and a pair of shiny high heels. She was sexy business woman for the evening.
“How’s our stuff?”
Ash only grinned at him.
He narrowed his eyes at her. “Are you feeling okay? You take something while you were back there?”
While it was true Ash did indulge in a swallow or two of the special, extremely rare blood Yukihime left for her, she was trying hard to be perky. Something she had never been in her life. “No, I…” She let out a heavy sigh, morphing back into the dark brooding vampire Tristan recognized again. She kicked of her shoes and rested her head back with another sigh. “I cannot do this any longer. I hate pretending to be something I am not. I am not a perky person.”
Tristan smirked. “Can I just say, it was a little creepy?”
She smiled back, though it was sad and tired. “We are totally unprepared for this,” she said sounding angry. “We should have stopped in Hong Kong and had Mei Fen make protection talisman to wear against Lucien’s fire. It is utterly ridiculous to go after him like this. I do not know what I was thinking in letting Yukihime talk us into this…”
Tristan just looked at her, thinking he knew exactly why they both agreed with little persuasion necessary. He also wondered what the pythia could possibly make to protect them from fire. Seemed like a tall order to fill.
Ash sighed, turning her head to look at him. “You wanted to know about my relationship with Lucien.”
He gave a start. It wasn’t like her to just bring things up. It must have really been bothering her. “Actually,” he said turning slightly in his seat towards her. “I just want to understand what I am to you.”
She looked away quickly, unable to meet his eyes. Yes, she knew that. But there was so much a
bout herself that she just couldn’t give up, not just yet. It wasn’t that she didn’t trust Tristan, in fact she trusted him very deeply. Instead, her hesitation was born of fear. Age, speed, strength, power… none of this meant a thing when it came to the heart.
“Ash?” He touched her hand and when she looked up at him, didn’t pull away, he slipped his fingers in between hers. Just that one touch ignited his blood, made him think of things other than killing. There was a bed on the plane after all. “You are the most complicated, confusing, stubborn, pain in the ass woman I’ve ever known. I swear, if I stay with you any longer, then I’m going to start sprouting grays. Hell, I’ll be as white as you in a year at this rate.” He looked away to nothing, hand still covering hers, absorbing her cold energy. “Despite all that I can’t… I don’t want to be without you. Even knowing you’re in love with Lucien—”
“Stop.”
Tristan’s attention came around to her again, brow furrowed.
“That could not be any further from the truth.”
“But you—”
She interrupted him again and he wished she’d stop it already. “Yes. He and I were once lovers… of a sort. Forced or consensual, we shared our bodies and blood many times.”
Tristan tried to take his hand away, but Ash quickly grabbed it with her fast reflexes and slipped her fingers with his, palm to palm.
“I have not been a willing bed partner to him in over fifty years.”
Fifty years? Tristan felt like he’d heard that mentioned before, like there was something big in her life—a life changing moment. He wondered what it was.
Ash frowned at him but chose to ignore his thoughts for now. She would tell him it all in due time. “I…” Ash heaved a big sigh. “The culture of my kind, what is considered acceptable, normal is not the same as it is with humans.”
“Of course not.”
She looked away, but held fast to his hand. She couldn’t bear to see his face when she told him the truth of her kind. “Lucien… he was the last person I have had… relations with. Before him, it had been…” She stopped to think. “Hm, about eight months or so I suppose. To say that is odd does not even come to close to explaining the behavior.”
“Ash, seriously, the foreplay is getting tedious here. Just tell me what you’re trying to say.”
She looked to him, forcing herself to hold his gaze. “Vampires are creatures of lust, both of blood and body. For a vampire to go more than a few hours without either is, rare. For one like myself who denies it for months at a time is unheard of.”
“Hours?” Tristan said looking very confused. “That can’t be true. I mean, you’re vampires, but you’re still people, in a sense… and people are all different in their needs. Hours, really? If that was true all you vampires would do is fuck and feed…”
“Exactly.” She gave him a small smile that said he was being naïve. “We are built such, that if we do not indulge in blood and body as we feel the need… the consequences of denying can be grave.”
“What consequences?”
“Madness. Sheer and utter lunacy in ways I cannot even understand.”
“What, like Malik?”
She smiled again, that small condescending smile. “He was his own brand of lunacy that had nothing to do with lack of blood or sex. If anything he had an overabundance of both and at everyone’s great peril.”
“So what, you’re telling me that if vampires don’t feed and fuck, they lose their mind? That’s just—”
She winced at the curse word. “The truth.”
He stared at her for a long moment before saying, “Okay, then why aren’t you insane?”
She shrugged lightly and looked away again. This was the part she didn’t even know the full answer to, but suspected that Yukihime did. “I am different.”
He nodded, agreeing with that.
“I have been able to suppress those needs but hold onto my mind.”
“Okay, so what you’re telling me is that all vampires, they just, what, can’t help themselves?”
“Yes.”
“So it’s not your fault for wanting to fuck Lucien. Is that what you’re telling me?”
“No,” she said firmly, attention snapping around to him again. “No. I am just helping you understand my kind a little more.” She stroked his hand with her thumb. “Trying to help you understand me.”
Tristan rested his head back against the seat. “But you’re not like the rest of them.”
“That is true.”
“You’re kind, thoughtful, worrisome, honorable… you—you have morals. You’re nothing like any of the others I’ve met. You’re…” He looked into her eyes. “Human.”
Her lips parted in surprise. “I, yes. I suppose so in a sense.”
“Anyway. I don’t care if you’ve got this rampant lust for blood or sex. I just care about what your intentions with me are and if I’ve got to share you. Because, I’ll tell you right now, it’s all or nothing, the human way.”
She nodded. “I agree.” She let out a heavy sigh and relaxed back in her seat. “I have never cared much for vampire society. Even as a newborn fledgling, I had moral issues with many of the things vampires did that were considered normal. I fought what I was for so long, despite what Malik tried to teach me. It is simply… second nature now. I have not been fighting to be something I am not. I have been fighting to remain what I was.”
“And that’s what I lo—like about you.”
Her expression slackened slightly in shock. She heard what he was about to say before correcting himself. She quickly took her hand back.
“Ash?”
She stood and walked across the way to the bar to make a drink. “Yes, Tristan?”
“I just. I have to know. Did Lucien, that night… did he… hurt you?” He still couldn’t say the word aloud.
So she said it for him. “Yes, he raped me. In blood and body.” She reached into the mini fridge and pulled out the bottle of “pythia juice” as Tristan had been calling it—the blood replacement drink that her pythia friend in Hong Kong made. “And not for the first time.”
Tristan nodded, though she wasn’t looking his way. It was obvious they knew each other before that night, but he had no idea what sort relationship they had. He thought he knew. Guess he really didn’t know shit. A part of him was relieved. He felt guilty over that relief, understanding now that she didn’t want Lucien to have her, that he did take what he wanted. He felt guilty that he preferred the idea of Lucien taking more than believing she said yes.
“After Malik killed Lucien’s Master, he took the fledgling in. I was not in Malik’s… consideration at that time so I was not told the reason for doing such a thing. All I can remember is the fear, the utter terror I felt when I was told Lucien was a descendant of fire. I had been told too many things about the Kaji no Ie to not be afraid. The first night Lucien was brought back to Malik’s home he was asked to prove his loyalty and worth. Lucien was locked in the cell of one of Malik’s many captives and given free reign. And while Lucien was unable to conjure fire, he proved himself most dangerous, earning a high position in Malik’s favor.”
To her pythia juice she added a healthy portion of vodka. It helped kill the bitter taste of the mixture.
“What did he do to the woman?” Tristan asked softly.
Back still to him, she shook her head. “I wish not to put words to such filth. She lived, however scarred.”
“And you want to kill him now for what he did to you?”
Ash spun around, eyes wide. “I never said—”
“Thought it was obvious.” He stood and went to her, but made sure to not touch her. She was spooked and he didn’t need the vampire in her to freak out on him. He’d had that enough times in the past two days to not want any more encores.
“Will you tell me what happened?” he asked more because he thought she needed to talk about it, not because he wanted to hear about someone, some vampire, having his way with her. Hurti
ng her.
“No,” she answered.
“No?”
She shook her head hard. “No.” She swallowed hard. “What happened is in the past, and no one can change it.”
What’s done is done, huh? “But wouldn’t it would make you feel better to talk about how he hurt—”
“Why?” she snapped. “How could talking about how weak I am make anyone feel any better?”
“You aren’t weak, As—”
“What do you know!” she screamed and he stepped back, hand unconsciously going for the gun he really didn’t want to use on Ash and especially not on a plane. “That night, the one that bothers you so much… I did not fight. I did not resist as I should have. All it took was for him to bite me, bleed me and I fell to his will with little dispute. I said no, my mouth formed the words but my body just—That is weakness.”
“Ash,” he said on a sigh. “You are the strongest person I know.”
“How can you say such a thing?”
“I’ve seen what you do. I know from experience how difficult it is to kill vampires and jikininki.”
Ash made a noise that was halfway between a hiss and sigh. “That is nothing. That is a duty.” She started to pace the small compartment of the plane, something she liked to do when she was upset. “To kill those who have wronged me takes no strength.”
He shook his head. “You’re wrong.”
She turned and gave him an angry look. “How so?”
“It takes strength to rise up against those who have done you wrong. Who have suppressed you. To prove to those bullies you won’t be weak anymore.”
“A wild animal can turn on its captor. That is not strength, but instinct.”
She wasn’t listening and he sighed. “Listen to me, Ash.” He approached her again carefully. “You...” He put a hand to his forehead, trying to think of how to put what he was thinking into tangible words. He’d never been good at these type of things, always hurting his relationships, but with Ash things were very different. Not only did he have to deal with the normal relationship quips, but the fact that she was a volatile, dangerous creature on top of that. Her long existence had bended her personality to what she was today. A long existence that he couldn’t even begin to understand.
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