Sarah’s mouth dropped open. “Did you ever—”
“No!” he cut her off before she could finish the sentence. “I swear I’ve never entered your mind.”
“Never?”
“Never.”
Even though she believed him, she still sensed he was holding something back. His face was flushed and his eyes looked everywhere but in her direction. Most telling, though, was the way he kept flexing his hands. She knew him well enough to realize he did it whenever he got agitated. “Why not?”
David stared down at his shoes. “I can’t.”
“Why can’t you tell me?”
“No.” He had the look of a kid who just got caught with his hand in the cookie jar. “I mean I can’t influence your mind. God knows I’ve tried, but for some reason it doesn’t work with you.” His expression softened now, his pale eyes warming with unspoken affection. “When you came home that night looking so upset, I wanted to enter your mind so I could ease your troubles.”
His answer caught her off guard. Not sure how to react, she shifted her focus back to the pictures. She found three more portraits of herself; one in full profile, while the second had her dressed casually in shorts and a tank top.
He’d let his imagination run wild with the final drawing. It was an obvious work in progress, a sketchy outline with just enough detail for her to recognize herself in the fine lines and shadows. Even in its partially completed state there was a raw sensuality to the picture, telling her more about the artist than she’d imagined.
She set the pictures down, stunned.
“Like I said, it’s just something I do to pass the time.” David took the drawings and stuffed them in the top drawer of his desk. “Usually I just draw the first thing that pops into my head.”
“Like me.”
“Yeah.” His voice got a little husky. “You’ve been on my mind a lot lately.”
She’d never seen him blush before. She would have felt flattered, if he didn’t seem so damn miserable about it. “Is that such a terrible thing?”
“No.” He pinched the bridge of his nose, his face drawn tight with conflicting emotions. “But it’s not that easy.”
“Sure it is.”
“No, it’s not.”
“Then explain it to me. There’s something going on between us, David. I feel it every time we’re together. Don’t you?”
He didn’t answer, but the unchecked anguish in his eyes told her everything she needed to know.
Sarah straightened her spine, gathered her courage, and laid it all out on the line.
“I value our friendship, David, but I want more. I need more. And I think you feel the same way.” She rose up on her tiptoes, linked her hands around his neck, and pressed a kiss against his lips.
David’s body tightened, then let loose an involuntary shiver. She kissed him again and this time he kissed her back, his mouth crushing against hers with such unrestrained passion it made her weak at the knees. She felt his muscles loosen and yield, a subtle surrender of body and mind that had his hands skimming over her body, his fingers digging into the soft flesh of her hips.
And then he stopped.
“What’s wrong?” she asked, her breathing uneven. A haze of lust fogged her brain and her body ached with arousal, demanding she finish what they already started.
David’s hands clenched and unclenched as he stared at her with predatory intensity. For a moment, he looked like he was close to giving in to his desires. But then he closed his eyes, and when they opened the infuriating coolness was back in place. “I’m sorry, but I can’t.”
“Can’t, or won’t?”
“Both.” He stepped back, putting more than physical distance between them. “I don’t want to risk ruining our friendship.”
“That’s bullshit and you know it.” Anger and disappointment tangled inside her, the frustration of it all bringing her close to tears. “Coward. You’re so damn scared of your own emotions you’d rather feel nothing than take a chance on something wonderful.”
“You think this is easy?” David snapped, the harshness in his voice surprising her. “Well, it’s not. Every day I go out there and watch some of the most god-awful shit you can imagine. Every. Fucking. Day. Last week I got to watch a guy get beat to death by some punk with a tire iron.” His eyes blazed bright with heat and anger, hunger and despair, all woven together in a patchwork of clashing emotions. His hands clenched, and she could almost feel the tension radiating off his body. “The only way I can make it through the day without losing my mind is to turn it all off. All of it. If I let you in, I have to let in the rest and I don’t think I can handle that, Sarah.”
“Don’t do this.”
“I don’t have any choice in the matter.” He turned back toward the window, effectively shutting her out of his life and his heart. “Please. You need to go.”
Sarah stared at him, stunned. Not only was he turning her down, he was kicking her out of his apartment. The pain of rejection wrapped around her heart and squeezed so tight she found it difficult to breathe.
“I see,” she said, her voice unsteady as she struggled to find the words to speak. “It’s a shame you’re not willing to give us a try, because we’re both missing out on something wonderful.”
She tipped up her chin and squared her shoulders. In her mind she cursed him, called him every foul word she could think of in both English and Latin, but still the tears threatened, stinging her eyes as she blinked them back.
Before she made a bigger fool of herself, she crossed the room without a backward glance and slammed the door behind her.
Was he out of his fucking mind?
David gave himself a swift mental kick in the ass as he watched Sarah walk out of his apartment with a look of such disappointment it made his soul ache.
He was only doing the right thing. Really. At least that’s what he kept telling himself, although the words lacked any serious conviction.
There was no point in denying his attraction. No, that was painfully obvious to both parties involved. What disturbed him most was the fact he longed for her in ways beyond the physical. He actually liked Sarah, enjoyed her company, felt connected to her in ways that scared the shit out of him.
The question of love bubbled to the surface and he immediately brushed it aside. It was bad enough he’d succumbed to affection and lust. He couldn’t afford to give in to anything deeper. Still, he couldn’t deny the soothing calm he felt whenever she was around. He’d never experienced such a feeling of belonging, not while he drew mortal breath and certainly not during his time as a reaper.
He dragged both hands through his hair, realizing the futility in denying the obvious. Somewhere along the line his emotions had come into play, latching onto Sarah and holding on for dear life. How on earth had he allowed it to happen? All these years, he’d been so careful, only to be blindsided by the skeptic next door.
Pathetic.
Good thing the kid was off working with Dmitri or he’d never hear the end of it.
Irritated beyond all comprehension, he opened the desk drawer and pulled out the half-finished drawing. It wasn’t anywhere close to completion, but somehow he’d still managed to capture the nature of her essence. Stretched out on the couch, she looked intelligent and alluring, sly and seductive, the perfect balance of mind and body he found so enticing.
Shit.
She was in his blood now, a restless, insistent craving he had no means of escaping. Try as he might, it was useless to fight an attraction so ingrained it felt like a part of him.
Decision made, he gave in to the craving and went next door.
She had no choice. She had to move. Maybe change her name, cut her hair.
“Real smooth, Sarah,” she muttered as she stalked into the kitchen and yanked open the freezer door. No way could she ever face David again. In all her life she’d never been so humiliated. This was worse than the time Becky Zainer told the entire senior class that Sarah was still a vir
gin, or when she got wasted at Susie Martin’s bachelorette party and danced on the bar at Rosie’s.
She’d unleashed her inner hussy and thrown herself at David, and he’d turned her down cold. The rejection was a harsh slap to her ego, a blow to her self-esteem that left her with a deep need to soothe her wounded pride.
Comfort came in the form of mint chocolate chip ice cream topped with whipped cream and chocolate syrup. She tossed a handful of M&M’s on top for good measure. Calories be damned, she thought as she dug into the bowl. No, it wouldn’t solve her problems, but for now she’d settle for a good old-fashioned sugar high.
She was debating the merits of a bottle of wine versus a hot bubble bath when she heard a brisk knock at the door. She peered through the peephole and, much to her surprise, saw David.
“What do you want?” she asked through the closed door.
“We need to talk.”
“Talk?” She jerked the door open, prepared to give him a piece of her mind. “Why, so you can humiliate me some more? Thanks, but no thanks, I’ve had enough rejection for one night.”
He answered by pulling her into his arms and kissing her.
No, kissing was too light a word. Devour. Yeah, there’s a much better description for the way David claimed her mouth, tasting, taking, making every thought in her head evaporate in the wake of pure pleasure.
He nudged her into the foyer, pushing the door shut with his foot.
“What do you think you’re doing?” she asked when she pulled back for air. Her heart raced, her body burning with need. She caught his gaze, felt lightheaded and dizzy when she found smoldering heat in those striking pale eyes.
“Putting an end to our friendship.”
“But you said you didn’t—”
He cut her off with another kiss, putting an end to any further attempts at conversation.
My God, she tasted even better than he remembered.
Finesse would have to come later. And yes, there would definitely be a later. Tonight was about passion, and desire, and satisfying hungers long restrained.
They left a trail of clothes on their way to Sarah’s bedroom, tumbling to the bed in a tangle of limbs.
She laughed, and then gasped when his mouth found her breast, her eyes drifting shut as her head fell back against the pillow. Her fingers combed through his hair, urging him to take more, take all.
And take he would. Before the night was over he planned on learning every inch of her body through taste and touch, discovering every one of the secret places that made her tremble and moan and make all those wonderful feminine noises he’d yet to discover.
She shifted beneath him, each movement setting little fires in their wake.
It was a wonder, the way she drove him crazy. So warm and soft and inviting beneath him, she awakened emotions he’d thought banished forever.
Together they stoked the fires, burning hotter and brighter until at last she whispered an urgent, “Now, David.”
Her hand slid down, guiding him to the slickness between her legs. She was hot, and wet, and more than ready, and when he entered her warmth they both let out a groan of pleasure.
His mouth found hers, hot and hungry as he began to move inside her. He wanted to take things slow and easy, to savor the moment for as long as possible. But then she dug her nails into his back and moaned, “More,” and he lost all sense of control, his strokes coming harder, faster, his skin slick with sweat as she matched him stroke for stroke.
Back arching, she suddenly went still, her nails digging deeper, her teeth clamped down on his shoulder. She let out a soft, muffled cry as her climax reached its peak, her face a mask of carnal satisfaction.
It made a man proud, knowing he could do that to a woman.
Giving in to primal instincts, he lost himself in the heat of her embrace until his world shattered around him, swamping him with mindless euphoria.
“Jesus,” he said once he could breathe again, his face buried in her hair.
Slowly, her arms wrapped around him, loose and languid with postcoital bliss. “That was … damn,” she said, her voice a throaty purr.
“Yeah. My sentiments exactly.” Not wanting to crush her, he rolled to his side, nestling her close. She cuddled against him, a soft sigh escaping her lips as he kissed the top of her head. Already he wanted to take her again, to look into her eyes this time when she came. Would it always be like this? God, he hoped so.
He wondered, just how long did he have to wait before initiating round two? Things had changed so much over the years he wasn’t sure what was acceptable anymore. Would she even be up for another go? He had no idea, but he hoped the answer was a resounding yes. She seemed pretty relaxed at the moment; maybe she’d want to go to sleep for a little while—
“David?” Sarah peered up at him, her brown eyes heavy-lidded and dreamy. She stretched against him and he felt a fresh rush of desire.
“Hmm?”
She smiled at him with a look so wanton it took his breath away. “Want to do it again?”
“I thought you’d never ask.”
David barely slept that night. How could he with Sarah lying by his side, curled up against him with her arm draped across his chest? Every nerve in his body was awake and alert, basking in the wonders of his newly resurrected sex life while clamoring for another round of erotic acrobatics.
He’d spent hours watching her sleep, taking in the peaceful expression, the steady breathing that came with total relaxation. She felt so perfect, all soft and warm and pressed up close like she’d always belonged there.
No, he refused to regret this. He’d denied himself the simple pleasures for far too long and he’d be damned if he felt guilty about enjoying the sins of the flesh with a willing woman.
He glanced down at said willing woman, memorizing each swell and curve, wishing the sheets weren’t covering the lower half of her body. He was a man, after all, and all men appreciated the breathtaking magnificence of a woman in all her glory.
Damn, she was beautiful. What on earth did she see in him? Try as he might, he’d never figure it out in a million years. But for now he’d take what he could get and thank his lucky stars.
Sarah stirred in her sleep, a contented moan escaping her lips as she nuzzled against his body, her cheek resting against his chest. She mumbled something unintelligible before settling back into sleep, a hint of a smile on her face that was both sweet and sensual at the same time.
Outside, the sun was breaking over the horizon, signaling the start of a brand-new day. Birds chirped, and if he listened closely he could hear the squirrels scampering across the roof of the apartment, using the building as a shortcut between the two large oaks on either side.
Twenty minutes later, Sarah’s eyes cracked open. She let out a yawn before her gaze tracked up to meet David’s.
“Morning,” she said, her voice soft and sleepy.
“Morning, Sunshine,” David replied, smiling. He dipped his head to give her a kiss.
Her hair was a mess and her makeup had worn off hours ago, but she still looked sexier than any woman he’d ever laid eyes on. He ran his hand down her spine and she stretched against him like a cat, making him harder than he already was.
“Mmm, that feels good,” she said, her fingers toying with the hair on his chest. She glanced at the clock on the nightstand and stiffened. “Oh crap, I’m late for work.”
She tried to roll out of bed but David hooked an arm around her waist, pulling her back against his body.
“No you’re not.”
“Of course I am,” she said, panic growing in her voice. “I’m supposed to be at work by seven, and I still have to take a shower and get dressed and eat breakfast, and—”
“No, you don’t.”
Sarah shot him a look of exasperation. “Why not?”
“It’s Saturday.”
She stilled, a faint blush rising in her cheeks. “Oh. I forgot.” Then her expression shifted as she gave him a brazen sm
ile. Her hand slipped beneath the sheets, and he let out a low groan when her fingers curled around his cock. “Well then, how do you propose we spend the morning?”
“I thought you’d never ask.”
David rolled her over, taking her mouth until they were both mindless and breathless and burning with need. With Adam and Martin handling the morning appointment, he had nothing on the schedule until later that evening. The day was at his disposal, to do as he wanted. And what he wanted right now was to lose himself in the woman beneath him.
“I was thinking breakfast,” he said when he came up for air. “For lunch.”
chapter 16
Sunday’s drive to the coast was blissfully uneventful. Traffic on the eastbound toll road was quiet for that time of the morning, probably due to the overcast skies. Clouds meant rain, which served as a major deterrent for anyone planning a trip to the beach.
But David and Adam weren’t beachbound. No, they had other plans on tap for the day, and none of them included sand and surf.
David’s gaze cut right for a moment, to the crumpled mass in the front seat, otherwise known as Adam. The kid was asleep with his head against the passenger side window, snoring loudly enough to be heard over the radio. When he’d staggered home a little past four-thirty in the morning, he’d eaten almost everything in the fridge, walked the dog, thrown up, and passed out. Not necessarily in that order. Even in sleep, the kid looked a little green around the gills.
Once they got back in town, David planned on having a serious talk with the others about playing nice with the newbies. The kid wasn’t much good to him if he was too hung over to function.
Ten miles later, David took the north exit onto Atlantic Boulevard and followed the directions to Space Coast Drive. The traffic got heavier as they drew closer to their destination, eventually slowing to a near crawl. He took the opportunity to lean over and give Adam a good shake.
“Wake up, Newbie. We’re almost there.”
Adam mumbled something incoherent and slumped forward in his seat, scrubbing his face with his hands. “Where the fuck are we?”
Grave Intentions Page 20
