“Nachos….” Colleen pondered the word. “I wish I could say I remember every word your mother said to me the last time we spoke, but considering it was a stupid fight, I’m glad I don’t. But nachos…she must have been saying ‘Not yours’ don’t you think?”
“It would make sense.” Belle tore her dinner roll into tiny bits.
“Oh!” A look of alarm crossed Colleen’s big brown eyes. “Belle, we weren’t fighting about you, I swear.”
Belle nodded.
“I’ll tell you all about it, but I think you’ll understand why I am ashamed.”
“We won’t think less of you,” Taylor promised, but she didn’t mean it.
Colleen grimaced. “Okay, here it is. I’ve always felt insecure with the ladies, because of my troubles. They’ve lived good successful lives. Amara is a lawyer, Melinda is a teacher, your mom…well, she was a good mother, and a business owner. What was I? I was an addict and failure for a whole lot of my life. All of this security is only in the last ten years. Hardly any time at all from my point of view.”
Ten years ago. Taylor glanced at Belle. She would have been six when Colleen got her life together. Taylor had been in college. She wondered why Colleen hadn’t tried to get Belle back at that time, but she didn’t ask.
“I’m sure someone has mentioned Gina and Nancy to you.”
Taylor sat up. They sure as heck had mentioned them to her.
“When they showed up, I got mad.”
“You knew Gina?” Belle asked.
“Yes, Gina was at school with us. A little younger. Your mom had wanted to invite her, but it was hard enough for me to feel okay with the girls as it was.”
“What about Gina made you feel insecure?” Taylor asked.
Colleen took a deep breath and held it. Then launched into her story. “Gina was very, very good. Just a good sweet girl. I was trouble. You guys get that. I’m sure. Gina’s mother hated me.”
“Because of your…trouble?” Belle’s voice was so childlike. Taylor side-eyed her to see if it was an act. She couldn’t tell.
“I knew your mom had wanted to invite Gina, and I had asked her not to. So when Gina and Nancy both showed up, I was angry. I felt like your mom had lied to me. But she hadn’t promised me anything.”
“You have your life together now though, surely Nancy can’t still hate you.” The rich, savory lasagna had dulled Taylor’s senses. She wanted everything to be as pure and wholesome as their dinner.
“That’s what your mom said too. She wanted me to keep my cool and just enjoy the weekend. She said she’d always liked Gina and that we ought to include her in our lives more. She said life in a small town was better if everyone was included.”
“But Gina didn’t live here anymore.”
“I know. I said that too. She came back with something about Gina being insecure, needing friends.”
“How did you feel?”
“Like your mom didn’t care about all of those insecure feelings I was having. She only cared about Gina feeling included. Gina’s probably the nicest lady in the world, but her mom…” Colleen shivered. “I sound like a fool, but she really hated me.”
“But why would a random lady hate you so much?”
Colleen caught Taylor’s eye. “Gina was sweet, and innocent. But not all of Nancy’s kids were. And she blamed me for it.”
“Ah.” Taylor and Belle made the same understanding sound at the same time.
“She didn’t want you to ruin all her kids.”
“Exactly, though…” Colleen scrunched her mouth up. “Never mind. I just don’t think I’m to blame for everyone who did drugs in Comfort.”
“When did you guys go your separate ways that night?” Belle moved on to more concrete points.
“We didn’t want to fight. After we realized the conversation was just going in circles, we parted. It wasn’t dramatic. The opposite, even. The wind had gone out of the argument. She went downstairs and I did too. I figured she’d head to the water, so I went to the porch to sit on the swing. I can’t tell you how much I wish I had gone to the water.”
“Do you think Gina might have had something to do with Mom’s accident?” Belle’s question hit Taylor as out of the blue.
“Oh!” The nervy look returned to Colleen, with a slight shake to her hands as she laid her fork down. “No, definitely not. Why would she?”
“If Gina was lonely and wanted to be included in things, she might have been envious also. And Mom was internet famous,” Taylor mused.
Colleen was pale. She shook her head. “I never thought about it. Why would she be? She had her own life and family and career. Surely she didn’t envy your mom’s success.”
Taylor knew folks her age could get very envious of others’ internet success, but she wasn’t sure how the almost-fifties handled it. She liked to think they were mature and stable. “As far as you know, Mom was agitated, maybe a little tipsy, and slipped and fell.”
“As far as I know.” Colleen turned away.
Taylor admitted her use of the word agitated was purposeful. She couldn’t seem to pin the act of murder on Colleen, but she couldn’t help trying.
Dave and the boys came home while they were washing up for Colleen—Belle’s idea.
The boys, she guessed to be about five and seven, ran in full of words and hugs for their mom, but skidded to a stop when they saw Taylor.
Dave was a handsome man, the Italian heritage showing in big dark eyes.
“Boys, this is Taylor. She’s our friend Belle’s big sister.”
The taller of the two boys waved. The younger one ran to the table and got a dinner roll.
“Little piggy.” Dave laughed. “Good to meet you, Taylor.” He offered her his hand.
Taylor found a towel, dried her hands, and shook.
“I’ll get the boys to bed and come right back.”
“Don’t hurry,” Belle said. “I have school tomorrow, so we’ll be heading out in just a couple of minutes.”
The boys had scooted out and Dave sat next to his wife at the table. “It really is nice to see you both here. I don’t know if Colleen told you, but I have an older daughter as well. I think she’s about your age, Taylor. She’s twenty-seven.”
“Yeah, that’s about right.” Taylor didn’t confess to being almost thirty.
“She lives in Seattle and we don’t get to see her enough, but I hope we can all get together one of these days. The boys are still a little shy with Ashleigh.”
“They love her,” Colleen soothed.
“Sure, it just takes them a while to warm up.”
There was such sweet affection between Colleen and Dave. It was real and lovely, and…if Belle had moved here when she was six to live with them, she would have grown up with a big sister named Ashleigh who was basically Taylor’s age.
Of course, when Belle was six, Ashleigh, the twenty-seven year old, would have been just about ready to head off on her own.
Taylor wasn’t prepared to like Colleen and Dave or their little boys whose names she refused to ask. She wasn’t prepared to feel like Belle had missed out by not living in this giant house filled with people and love.
“Thanks so much for dinner,” Belle was saying as Taylor wallowed in her thoughts. “Are you ready?”
“Yes, yes. It’s a bit of a drive home.”
Dave and Colleen took turns giving Belle a big hug. Colleen approached Taylor, but Tayor turned and gave her a half-hearted side hug. Dave took note and shook her hand again.
Taylor was quiet till they found themselves on the highway. “They’re lovely,” she finally said.
“Yeah,” Belle said. “Like when you go visit a friend and their family is so different than yours, it feels weird, like a TV show and not at all like home.” Belle looked up at Taylor with big, mopey eyes.
Taylor pretended not to notice, but it felt good, being looked at like she was home. “You pick the music.”
Belle put on something new to Taylor, a hea
vy electric trap beat under a soft, sad female voice.
* * *
Prom night.
Taylor remembered hers like it was yesterday.
The long drive in Maddie’s dad’s Camaro, her and her date in the back seat. Stopping at the Arco at the far edge of town for coffee. Spiking the coffee with Kahlua from Maddie’s date’s mom’s last trip to Hawaii.
The dancing, Our Song by Taylor Swift, all of the jokes you got in 2007 if you’re name was Taylor. The kissing under the lights.
The hotel that Maddie’s mom had thought was her house and Maddie’s mom had thought was Maddie’s house. The way the boy’s parents didn’t care where they were.
The regret the next morning. The headaches.
The way her mom hadn’t let her leave the house again till graduation.
Taylor sat at the kitchen table bathed in fear.
Who was this college kid coming to take Belle away?
Belle hadn’t offered any kind of innocent plans that might be a cover for something dangerous. She hadn’t said anything about it at all.
Taylor was tempted to call that overly polite Cooper to find out what was happening. Or Dayton’s overly concerned dad, Dale. Surely a guy like him would have a handle on what Dayton’s plans were for the night.
Belle had promised to come home after her hair was done by Sissy, but she hadn’t said who was driving her to the dance, or where the dance was being held, or what they were doing after the dance. Nothing.
Taylor had asked.
She had texted.
She had gone to the school’s website for information, but, apart from the word “prom” on the school’s calendar, there was no information.
But at least that was there, so Taylor knew Belle wasn’t lying about the plans for the evening.
Then again, for all she knew these kids were driving off God knows where together. And who was this Levi Belle had met at some college thing anyway? Belle said he had some genius kid early admittance thing, like she was getting. That didn’t mean it was true. She could be lying. He could be lying. He could be some twenty-two year old college senior who had a thing for sixteen year old girls. Taylor shuddered.
She had herself worked up about as much as you could get when the creaky old front door opened. She jumped to her feet.
Belle stood in the door, hair in curlers, bangs off her face, with a garment bag slung over her arm. Taylor stared at her sister. For the first time since coming home, Taylor recognized her.
Belle stumbled into the room as though someone pushed her.
A blousy woman with frizzled blonde hair and ashy gray roots came in behind Belle. Sissy Dorney. It had been a few years, but Taylor recognized her. Sissy’s face was round, dimpled, and remarkably young looking. She wasn’t much taller than Taylor, she wasn’t much bigger either, yet she seemed to fill the room, her big personality extending far beyond her physical person. Sissy rolled a large piece of luggage in and set it in the middle of the living room. She stared at the stack of mirrors in their window frames that Taylor had brought home from Hobby Lobby. “Sure hope you’ve got a mirror we can use.” She laughed with a little snort.
“Hey there.” Taylor stood awkwardly in the doorway of her own kitchen, trying not to let Sissy’s tone annoy her. It was…a lot of mirrors. “Thanks for coming…”
“Belle said you’d like it better.” Sissy opened her luggage and pulled up a rack. She began to hang hair dryers and curling irons from it. “Where’s the best outlet if I want to work in here?”
“I’m not so sure there’s a good one in here. The light’s better in the kitchen anyway.”
Sissy tilted the travelling styling station and rolled it to the kitchen. “Just like me, putting the cart before the horse. The kids seem pretty excited about tonight.”
“Sure. Prom is exciting.” Taylor hitched herself up on the kitchen counter so she could be out of the way, but still watch. “Where are they holding it, anyway?”
“Over at the ballroom of the craft college. They fix it up real nice.”
The ballroom at Comfort College of Art and Craft was a fairly basic events space, but it could be made elegant. She remembered one or two events there. “So…no need to drive then?”
“Oh, some of the kids love to make an entrance, but I think the school is hoping the kids won’t be drunk driving after.”
Taylor suspected she was right. It was smart, actually, and she wondered why her class had gone to a place way out of town. Probably a parent got a deal.
“I’m real sorry your mom can’t be here for this. She had so much fun helping the kids get ready for homecoming last year.”
Taylor nodded but didn’t say anything. No one had told her about homecoming.
Her phone buzzed a text.
She slipped it out.
How about that necklace? It was from Belle.
“Excuse me.” Taylor ran up the stairs as fast as she could. This kid didn’t have her mom on prom night, but she’d at least get a necklace!
She found Belle in their mom’s old bedroom wearing a strapless silver taffeta party dress with a charming poof of a short skirt. It was the one their mom had worn to her prom in 1988.
“You look…”
Belle went to smirk but caught a glimpse of herself in the mirror and looked away with an embarrassed smile.
“So, you really like Levi, huh?”
Belle nodded.
“You met him last summer?”
“Yeah.”
Taylor tried to remember if Belle had been doing the heavy make-up thing last summer, but she couldn’t. She remembered very short jean shorts, flip flops, and crop tops. Sporty-feminine-country had kind of been Belle’s thing then.
Taylor stood on a chair to reach the back of the top shelf of the closet that still held their mom’s things. A box of Grandma Delma's jewelry was tucked up in there.
She pulled it out and blew a layer of dust off. “You can pick whatever you’d like. Or, maybe one of mine if you’d rather.”
Belle opened the box gingerly, took each item out and laid it with care on the bed.
She got to one of Grandma Delma’s faux pearl collars from the 1940s, the Peter Pan shape that their Grandma would have worn over a round necked satin dress to go to a wedding when she was a young lady. The faux pearls were tiny beads woven on strong silk. They had discolored through the years till they were almost the same silver as her dress. Belle held it out in both hands, then held it against her pale, perfect skin.
It was funky, Taylor thought, but cute. Perfect for a sixteen year old saying a premature goodbye to childhood.
Taylor helped her latch it and then gave her a quick kiss on the back of her head.
Belle offered a more natural smile than any time in the weeks before.
“Sorry,” Taylor whispered.
Belle skittered out of the room and pulled her own door shut with a sharp click.
Taylor went back to the kitchen to wait with Sissy.
Sissy was having a cup of coffee and laughing with Grandpa.
Eventually Belle came back down. She had done her makeup, still a little heavy on the eyeliner for Taylor’s taste, but not as bad as her day to day look. The rest of the face was simple, like she had taken the advice to highlight one feature to heart. Taylor hoped she’d get to take a picture.
Like an expert, Sissy whipped her hair into an updo that exposed Belle’s long neck and high cheekbones.
Before Taylor knew it the doorbell rang.
Levi was a tall, slim kid with big black glasses and a light blue suit that fit in a very modern way, that is, the pants seemed too short and too tight and the sleeves of the jacket a bit too long. But Belle looked at him with a blushing glow that indicated she thought he looked just fine.
They only had a moment to greet before the door banged open again and Cooper and Dayton popped in wearing coordinating tuxedos, cut to fit precisely. Cooper’s was black with an overall pattern of red roses. Dayton’s was gra
y with a matching pattern in pink roses. Dayton’s tux shirt was ruffled, Coopers was open at the neck with an untied bow tie.
“Ooh!” Sissy practically swooned when she saw them. “Aren’t you two the prettiest?”
Cooper blushed.
Dayton kissed Sissy’s cheek. “Where are the corsages, young men?” Sissy stood with one hand on her hip, brandishing a curling iron like a pointer.
“Flowers are out.” Dayton grinned.
Cooper pulled something from his pocket. “Flowers are timeless, darling.” He tucked a small daisy, clearly picked from a yard, in the buttonhole of Dayton’s jacket.
“Pictures!” Taylor called out, hoping she was saving Levi from the embarrassment of not having a flower.
“Just a sec.” He also reached into his pocket—gentlemen these teens—and pulled out a dainty enameled poppy pin, like you’d see on Memorial Day. “I thought this flower would last longer.” He carefully pinned it to the side of her sweetheart neckline.
Her face was aloof, but she took his hand in his and gave it a subtle squeeze.
“How many of you are coming back to my house tonight?” Sissy asked, again brandishing the curling iron at the young folks.
“Not tonight,” Dayton said. “My mom expects all four of us for games.”
“Games?” Sissy snorted. “I was going to have pizza.”
“No one’s going out to a…” Taylor hesitated. She shouldn’t put ideas in their heads. She was just surprised.
“Who has money for hotels?” Cooper interrupted her with a laugh.
“I’ve got to get back to school.” Levi shrugged, a little embarrassed. “The program has a curfew for everyone under seventeen.”
Even though she could tell he was young just by looking at the boy, it was a huge relief to hear him say he was under seventeen.
“You all could come back here.” Taylor was hopeful and crossed her fingers behind her back.
“No.” Belle’s one-word answer was firm. She took Levi by the hand and led him out. Cooper and Dayton followed.
When the door shut with a click, Sissy sighed. “Young love, isn’t it wonderful?”
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