“Yup. Sold my place in Portland.”
“Career?”
“Not that it was all that great, but yeah.”
He didn’t ask what else Taylor had left behind in Portland, so she volunteered.
“Grandma Quinny called after the accident. I walked into work and quit, that second. The next day, I called a real estate agent and put the condo on the market. My boyfriend, who happened to live there with me, didn’t like my taking those kinds of steps without talking about it first.”
Hudson didn’t say anything.
“You don’t blame him, I’m sure.”
“It’s not my place to have an opinion on that. I do have an opinion on him not coming here with you though.”
“We’d been together four years.”
“Shit.”
“Yeah.”
The fire was going down. Taylor wasn’t in the mood to relive her prom night anymore.
“How does Ernie feel about all of this?”
Taylor considered her grandpa, his condition, and how he must feel right now. “Confused mostly. His dementia has gotten really bad.”
“It must be nice to be able to take a night off, even if it is just to escape a raccoon.”
Taylor stared at the coals, feeling sorry for herself and glad about the raccoon at the same time. “He’ll laugh when I tell him about it.” She smiled at the thought and then frowned. “Oh, Hudson, crap, crap, crap. I don’t have the night off.”
“What do you mean?”
“I mean Grandpa’s home alone and…. Oh, crap. I’m an idiot.”
Hudson wrapped her hand in both of his and brought it to his lips. They too were warm and felt safe. “Hold on a minute, okay?” He left her at the dying fire, in the dark.
She didn’t want to sit there alone, not while Grandpa Ernie could be in who knows what kind of trouble, but Hudson returned quickly with a bucket of water. “Had one in the truck and filled it at the foot wash tap by the bathroom.”
He poured the bucket over the coals. They sizzled softly and turned black. Taylor helped him spread them apart on the sand.
Then they both ran to the truck and drove as fast as was safe…or maybe a little faster once they were over the mountains.
At her house, Hudson walked her to the door. “Do you want me to come in, just in case?”
Taylor nodded.
To her relief, they found Grandpa Ernie safely in bed, snoring softly.
In the kitchen a crumb covered plate sat next to the sink, and the peanut butter jar was still open with a knife in it. He hadn’t gone hungry while Taylor was gone, and he hadn’t burned the house down or left the gas on or any of the other terrifying visions she’d had as they raced home.
Taylor walked Hudson toward the door so he could leave, even though every little part of her wanted him to stay. They stood together in the front room, only the little light by grandpa’s chair was on. Hudson took both of her hands in his.
It was such a gentle gesture from such a strong man.
“Thank you so much for your help.” Her words were a low murmur that she suspected had a romantic tinge to them.
“You really loved him, didn’t you?”
Taylor knew he was talking about her ex-boyfriend, but she wanted to pretend he meant someone else. Grandpa maybe. She didn’t answer but stared at his mouth—kissable lips, whatever that meant, slightly parted. Firm jaw, scruffy with a day’s growth of beard.
“You’ve probably noticed I’m interested.” His low growl of a voice was barely perceptible.
She was drawn to him like a magnet, a palpable pull to this man.
He grinned. “And sensitive, insightful, and handsome.”
She laughed, thankful that he had broken the moment. Glad for a release from her overwrought emotional state.
“I’d love to say that I’m sensitive and insightful enough to recognize that being your rebound would be a mistake. But I’m not, so, can we do this again?” His eyes were round, and just vulnerable enough to make her want to do something crazy.
She tipped up on her toes and kissed him, just a little.
He wrapped her in his arms and kissed her more than a little.
The front door burst open and laughing teenagers poured into the room.
He held her tighter, laughing into her neck.
“I don’t think they noticed us,” she whispered.
“Ug, we do.” That voice could only belong to Dayton.
Belle flopped onto the couch and Levi took the seat beside her. He too was whispering into her neck.
“I thought you were all going to Dayton’s,” Taylor said.
“We thought you might need a chaperone,” Cooper’s smooth, laughing voice responded.
“We want to watch Sharknado,” Belle finally spoke.
Taylor tossed her the remote. “Prom is just not what it used to be.” She walked Hudson out the front door.
“I have to work tomorrow morning,” he said. “But I’d like to come by in the afternoon to see if I can fix the damage that racoon did to your place.”
“I would appreciate that very much.”
He kissed her again and left.
Chapter Sixteen
There were no signs of debauchery in the living room the next morning. The prom kids Sharknado fun had been loud, but Taylor had been so exhausted she fell asleep within minutes of hitting the pillow.
The next morning, she nudged Belle’s door open and saw her piled under blankets with one bare foot sticking out. Their mom’s dress was hanging neatly on the back of a chair, and the faux-pearl collar was laid on the desk.
Taylor shut the door and checked on Grandpa. He was sitting on the edge of his bed putting on his favorite slippers.
“Morning, Grandpa.”
“Good morning, Prodigal.”
“Whoops. You caught me.”
“I know I’m not your father.”
This was a relief to hear.
“But it would be nice to know if you are coming home or not in the night.” He huffed into a mustache. “Grandpas worry.”
“You wanna go out for breakfast today?” Taylor asked.
He scowled though he couldn’t hide his smile from his eyes. “You have a production schedule to keep.”
“Then let’s go downstairs and I’ll make us some eggs.”
Grandpa stayed lucid and alert through the breakfast and took his medicine without the ritual of the raisin bread. It was the kind of morning that made Taylor think everyone had been overreacting before. Maybe he wasn’t as confused as they thought.
She’d like to get him to the doctor and find out what was really going on. As he made his way through his scrambled eggs, she pondered how hard that might be. She also pondered how she could get anything done in life…in real life, not work life, with only one employee and open seven days a week. It seemed impossible.
The shop really needed two people all the time. She had stacks of notes for her mom’s previous shows and notes for ones she wanted to film, but she didn’t have her business plan. No notes on how her mom had intended to keep things going with the money she was stocking up, and right now, that’s what Taylor wanted.
Belle stumbled into the kitchen just as Taylor was finishing up. She yawned, then kissed Grandpa.
“When did everyone leave last night?” Taylor plated some eggs and sausage and carried it to the table for Belle.
“Around three.” She yawned again, then rested her head on her hand, eyes closed.
“You should go back to bed.” It was Sunday, a fact Taylor hadn’t realized till that moment. She didn’t have a filming schedule this morning. Perhaps Grandpa wasn’t as with it today as she had thought. Though…. She hadn’t remembered what day it was either. That little mistake couldn’t mean much.
Instead of going to bed, Belle sat up and began to eat. “I have some plans for the day.”
“Oh?”
Belle glanced at Grandpa.
He was getting up from his
chair.
“Need a hand?” she asked.
“No, I do not.” He took his plate to the sink and shuffled off to his bedroom.
“So, your plans…”
“It’s about Mom.” Belle took another bite.
Taylor waited.
“Cooper and I thought we’d drive out to Nancy Reece’s place and see if we couldn’t get her to chat.”
“But that’s hours away.”
“We’ve got all day.”
“True, so you don’t have to rush. You could go back to bed and have more than three hours of sleep today.”
“Hmmm…” Belle considered this option while she ate. “I’m sure Cooper wouldn’t disagree. I’ll text him.”
“I’d really like to come.”
“Why don’t you see if you can track down Gina?” Belle’s voice implied this would be a real challenge for Taylor.
“But that’s hours away in the other direction.”
Belle sighed.
“I suppose that’s the point, but I would like to have the whole picture and not just some sides of it.” Taylor was too tired to fight, but she wasn’t going to give in, either.
Belle ate in silence for a little while. When the eggs were gone, she seemed to have come to a conclusion. “That makes sense. We can go together. I didn’t think Cooper was all that excited, to be honest. Dayton was, but…ug. I can only take so much Dayton in one weekend.”
“Understandable.” Taylor probably shouldn’t have agreed. She didn’t know anything about the kid. “How about we leave at noon? You have the address and directions?”
Belle tapped the back of her iPhone. “Yup.” After delivering her plate to the sink she went back to bed.
When Taylor remembered Hudson was coming over this afternoon to check the apartment above the shop for secret racoon entrances, she also remembered she was supposed to be working while Roxy had a day off. So much for a day with her sister.
She pattered her way up to Belle’s room, not excited to ditch her immediately after begging to be included, but Belle was already asleep.
She went to her own room and slouched in bed considering options. She could text Hudson to let him know she wasn’t going to be around, but that she could make any day next week happen.
Roxy was harder. She both needed and deserved a day off.
Belle barely wanted Taylor around, and Roxy really needed the family time. Taylor had made spontaneous changes to her schedule half a dozen times since being home and Roxy had been a complete sport about all of it.
The last thing Taylor wanted in this world was to disappoint Belle, but in the end, it probably wasn’t a disappointment.
When she heard Belle stirring in her room half an hour later, Taylor got up to give her the change of plans.
Belle stared at her blankly from the little stool in front of her mirror.
“I’m sorry,” Taylor said again. “I just, I had forgotten. I still don’t quite have my feet under me running this store.”
“Whatever.”
“You can tell me how you feel.” Taylor sat on the edge of her bed.
“Oh, can I?” Belle’s words dripped with sarcasm.
“I’d like it if you would.” Taylor braced herself for whatever Belle was about to say.
Belle twisted her mascara wand back into the tube and turned on her little dresser stool. “I’m not surprised.”
“I’ve been disorganized,” Taylor tried to acknowledge Belle’s feelings.
“Your priorities are very predictable.” Belle crossed her legs. The hole in the knee of her ripped black jeans got bigger.
“Go on.” Taylor gritted her teeth.
“I’m going to find out exactly what happened the night Mom died, no matter what it takes. You, on the other hand, are going to make money. That’s your priority and always has been.”
Taylor took her time responding. Defensive anger was filling her brain and making reasonable or kind answers hard to find. Eventually she came up with something. “I’m responsible for a lot of things in this world. One of them is making sure Roxy and I have a job to go to every day so that our families can eat.” She stood. The weeks of taking Belle’s attitude had done her in. “I don’t need to know exactly what happened the night Mom died because I am a grown adult with real work to do.” Taylor was going to swish out on that note, but her mouth wasn’t done saying angry things yet. “And nothing they find out about that night will bring her back. She’s not like Colleen. She didn’t just disappear one day to come back later, rich and happy and ready to play mom again. She’s dead. Actually dead. Like my dad.” Taylor took a deep breath, ready for the shame to roll over her in waves, but instead, there was just more anger. “I don’t have the luxury of mincing my way through school half-hearted because I’m better than everyone else and have something bigger waiting around the corner for me. I have real work to do, whether I want to or not.” On that note Taylor stormed out, slamming the door shut.
The waves of shame and regret hit her at the bottom of the staircase. But she had said enough sorrys for things that weren’t her fault. She held on tight to the anger and hustled outside to walk it off. She wanted to walk all the way back to the beach, figuring her anger could probably take her that far. She only made it as far as the Old Mill Museum, which was just before that bar they hadn’t gone to last night. It had only been two miles of full out anger-walking, but it had been enough. She sat on the bench in front of the board building that memorialized their early days as a flour mill town and leaned her head on the rough-hewn replication wall.
She didn’t cry though. She had done enough of that yesterday.
In six months, Belle would be off to college, and that sounded like the best news she’d ever heard.
* * *
Despite the lingering self-hatred that came from having a massive tantrum, Taylor opened the shop at eleven as usual. The day was bright and cheerful, a little chilly, but not bad. She expected today’s quilters would come by later, figuring church, brunch or lunch, and the drive over from whatever towns they lived in would still take a couple of hours.
Hudson was there before any customers made it in looking fresh, handsome, and as Belle and her friends might say, “like a snack”.
“Good morning.” He smiled and came over to the counter Taylor stood behind. He hesitated like he wanted to lean in and give her a quick kiss but wasn’t sure if he should.
She took a small step back. She didn’t deserve a kiss today.
“I’m alone in the shop, do you mind much running upstairs to check it out and telling me what you find?”
He hid any disappointment he might have felt. “No problem. How’s Ernie?”
“He’s good. I left him at home for now. Belle is going to bring him by before she leaves.” At least those were the directions Taylor had texted her when she was done blowing off steam.
“I’ll report as soon as I know what’s going on.”
“Thanks.” Taylor turned her back, pretending she needed to do something to the boxes of thread on the shelves behind her.
Last night had been a crazed fever dream. The result of overwrought emotions. Taylor hadn’t once let herself truly consider what the loss of Clay, who she had planned to marry and have children with, really meant to her. She had focused all of her energy on Belle and her needs.
To be a hero.
To not have to feel what she was really feeling.
And also, because it had been the peak of the crisis, the worst part.
All of the bad stuff had piled on at once and she had barely been able to see her own face in the mirror much less the total decimation of the life she had lived and the future she had planned.
Hudson’s feet echoed on the ceiling.
She was curious what he would find. She suspected somewhere along the row of downtown buildings there was a hole in the ceiling, maybe a vent, and that the racoon, or racoons…they did live in family groups…were making their way through all of their a
ttics and second stories. Hopefully all she’d have to do was a little patch work in a wall or ceiling or something.
Thinking about wall repair was nicer than thinking about the scene she’d had with Belle this morning, or about Clay and the girl he had moved in with mere seconds after she had left town.
She had checked his Instagram once, but he wasn’t much for social media, so the last post was still the selfie of them at the new pier on the Columbia river, sailboats floating gently behind them.
Clay had been a lot of fun. Good looking, but in a cute, harmless kind of way.
Love had snuck up on her with him. They had been friends for almost two years, after meeting in the parking lot of the mall their two stores shared—her Joanne’s and his Dick’s Sporting Goods. He had moved on to an accounting job downtown, but they had stayed friends.
His smile, that lopsided grin, had hooked her. Taylor remembered the day that lopsided grin had turned from a friendly smile to one she wanted to wake up to each morning.
He had been kicked out of his rental. The house was being sold. He needed a place to crash, and she had a place. Her condo had two bedrooms and he could totally stay in one.
But that night, he hadn’t stayed in the second bedroom. Their best buddy love had blossomed almost instantly and had lasted four years.
It had lasted until she had needed more from him than a buddy during the day and a lover at night.
“Knock, knock.”
Taylor shook her head to get out of her own thoughts and looked up. Hudson had a very apologetic look on his face. “It’s kind of a mess up there, I’m really sorry. I don’t know how often anyone goes to your attic, but that’s where they all live.”
“The crawl space above the apartment?”
“Yeah. That one. The racoons got in through a vent and made a nice little house. Two bedrooms, a hot tub, a satellite dish. It would get a lot of rent in Portland.”
Taylor smiled.
“They tore up the wall in a corner and got into the apartment that way. Looks like a fresh hole. They also made themselves some doors into the Tillamook Cheese Factory Outlet next door. I know I would.”
Assault and Batting Page 20
