by Nandita Rani
Maitri
MaitrI
Written by
NANDITA RANI
HALF BAKED BEANS LITERATURE
e-mail: [email protected]
First Published by Half Baked Beans in 2019
Copyright @ Nandita Rani
All characters in this book are fictional. Any resemblance is purely coincidental.
Printed and bound in India.
All rights reserved. No part of this publication may be reproduced, stored in a retrieval system, or transmitted, in any form or by any means, electronic, mechanical photocopying, recording or otherwise, without the prior written permission by the publishers.
Acknowledgements
Firstly, I would like to thank the entire team of Half Baked Beans for choosing to publish my book. I would also like to thank my family members for their constant support and encouragement. They have been my pillars of strength.
This book is inspired by a friend's life, so I heartily thank my friend for allowing me to pen down her emotional story and sharing some heart-breaking truths of her life with me. I am eternally grateful to her for doing so. And above all, I would like to thank all my readers for showing belief in my work.
Chapter 1: The Family
Sometimes, life is unjust to us in the cruelest of ways and there is no explanation!
Maitri closed the door and collapsed on the chair distractedly. She stared at the living room’s fan indefinitely when her mother arrived.
“When did you come? Here, I want these things from the market.”, Maitri’s mother said carelessly handing over a grocery list to her.
Maitri extended her hand and grabbed the list without lifting her eyes.
“My family is forcing me to get married. They have begun their hunt for a girl. Every second day, maa bugs me with a girl’s photo. I have been procrastinating all along but now it seems inevitable. They will get it done this year at the most. I have now run out of excuses. You need to talk to uncle as soon as possible.” Dipak’s voice echoed in Maitri’s ears as she reflected upon her conversation with Dipak which they'd had that afternoon.
“We are going to Benaras in a couple of days. I need an answer from you before that Maitri.”
How can I speak to papa about it now? She thought pensively.
She went inside and grabbed the handmade-bag knitted by her mother from the kitchen which was used by them for getting vegetables. Maitri was the one responsible for doing that chore. She changed her footwear and wore a rubber slipper, neatly placing hers on the shoe-rack.
With thoughts flying around in her head, she neared the vegetable market. She handed over the list to the vendor who then weighed and put the vegetables in the bag.
“Didi, it's only 70 rupees; you need to give me 25 more”, the vendor said.
“Bhaiya, I don’t have it now; this is all I am carrying. I shall give you the remaining sum tomorrow”, Maitri said, rummaging her purse in a bid to find more money.
“Didiji, my business is already suffering a loss. I can’t afford to sell vegetables on credit. Your bag is safe here till you return with the money.” The vendor smiled uncomfortably.
Embarrassed by the situation, Maitri looked around and felt those silent glares from the onlookers. She removed the cauliflower and kept it back on the cart.
As she walked back through the alley, she felt a sense of hatred toward her existence. She looked around to find ladies beaming with joy: talking, giggling, gossiping with other ladies; they looked contented with their lives. She found children caught at play in the garden: chirpy, happy, innocent, oblivious to the hardships that probably awaited them in their future. She found men carelessly lighting a cigarette with their friends in the panshop in the nook. She saw young girls breaking into peals of laughter at the smallest of things, loitering ambitionless; they had beauty, dreams and lovers. She saw old men sitting at the stump of the banyan tree that flanked the road, enjoying the company of their old pals while listening to and humming alongside a religious song playing in the Sai temple. She could somehow not fit herself among any of those age-groups.
“Didn’t I write cauliflower in the list too?”, her mother complained taking out the vegetables from the bag.
Maitri scowled at her mother not wanting to reply. She went to her room and lay down on the bed, placing her hands behind and resting her head on them. On closing her eyes, her life flashed in front of her.
Maitri belonged to a lower middle-class family. She had never experienced affluence in her journey of 30 years. There had always been a constant want- want for more. Maitri was the eldest of the five siblings. Her mother had kept spawning children in want of a boy, and so, they were four sisters followed by a brother. Maitri, being the eldest of all, had a huge onus on her shoulder. She was like a motherly figure to her two youngest siblings.
Her father was a government servant who earned modestly. So, Maitri was a great financial help to her family. Considering the poor financial conditions at home, she had taken up a teaching job when she was still in the last year of her graduation.
Every evening, after returning from work, Maitri’s responsibilities included buying vegetables from the market and helping her mother in the kitchen. The dinner was usually ready by the time her father returned. After a long day’s work, she was hardly left with any time for herself. The weekends were spent mostly in cleaning and attending to the pending house work. Maitri often felt careworn and ignored.
Her only happy time was when they visited their hometown on a vacation. Dipak, their neighbor’s son was good friends with Maitri. Dipak worked in an insurance company. Maitri loved to spend time with him and their friendship had blossomed into a fondness for each other over a period of time. They knew each other since childhood. Maitri felt like a free bird in his company, which was a rare feeling for her. They would secretly meet in Dipak’s farm in the afternoon when everyone’d gone to sleep; they’d walk across the farm holding each-other’s hands. They looked forward to meeting each other every year in the summer vacations only to speak about mundane subjects. They were more like best friends who shared a happy space with each other. Dipak’s family lived a modest life too; his father had retired, and so, Dipak was the only earning member. The family of five- Dipak, his parents and his two sisters, ran on his earnings and his father’s pension.
“It is hard not seeing you every day.”, Maitri had once said, citing her departure from the city after one of her vacations had ended.
They were connected through technology and spoke to each other every day, whenever separated by distance. To avoid her parents knowing about Dipak, Maitri always called Dipak from school.
“Maitri…Maitri...”
Maitri snapped out of her thoughts with her mother calling her.
“Maitri, Papa is home. Can you lend me a hand in the kitchen?”
I need to talk to papa today.
She came out in the drawing room and found her father sitting on the sofa, looking drained and exhausted.
“Papa, Paani..” She offered water to her father.
“Papa..?”
Her father seemed lost in some deep thoughts.
Maitri’s father, Sanjay Verma, was a short-heighted man with a stout stature. The front of his scalp was like a sparse wasteland. He had a congenital paralysis of his left arm, a condition that rendered him unable to move the left side of his body freely. He owed his government job to this paralysis.
Does not look like a good time to talk. Maitri judged the moment.
Maitri’s father broke his silence at the dining table.
“There has been an issue with the records today.”
Everyone stopped eating on hearing him talk.
“Office records.”, he resumed thoughtfully.
“There is an inquiry committee set up to investigate the case. And my name has also been dragged into it.” He continued looking straight into his wife’s eyes.
Maitri’s mother dropped her morsel and asked disturbingly, “What...what does that mean, ji?”
“It means...if they are able to establish a connection in the goof-up, I might lose my job.”, her father announced. He got up and left the table without finishing his dinner.
The announcement led to a pin-drop silence in the room. A sudden ring of tension surrounded the place. Everyone's food remained untouched.
Maitri’s eyes followed his father as he walked across the room. Her mother got up and went behind him requesting him to finish his meal.
Papa’s loss of job would bring us to the streets. She thought absently.
Even though Maitri’s younger two sisters could also take up jobs to support the family, not wanting to disturb them in their studies, Maitri had taken up this role to help her father in running the family smoothly.
As soon as their father left the place, Minal, who was three years younger than Maitri, spoke hesitantly, “Didi, I have a decent job offer in hand... I was thinking of going ahead and accepting it.”
Maitri listened carefully. “I...I think...it shall be all good and there will be nothing to worry about.”, Maitri spoke not lifting her eyes from her plate.
Minal gave a disappointing sigh and got up to leave. Maitri’s two youngest siblings left the dining table too after finishing their meals. Nishu still sat there looking at her. Nishu was four years younger than Maitri.
“Maitri di, are you alright?”, asked Nishu, jerking her sister.
“Yes, ummm...just a little apprehensive about our future.”, Maitri spoke curling her upper lip to give a vague smile.
“Actually, di, even I was thinking of helping you with the tuitions.”, said Nishu hesitantly.
“It’s getting harder.” Nishu murmured but stopped when she noticed Maitri looking at her.
“I mean, there are seven of us and…you know di, what I mean?”, Nishu held herself back on experiencing Maitri’s glares at her.
“Why are you all asking me? Am I the head of the family? Go ahead and take permission from papa. Don’t bug me with all this. I already have enough to worry about.”, Maitri said annoyingly, getting up to leave.
Nishu kept staring at Maitri, clueless of what stirred such an agitation in her. Maitri entered the kitchen to finish the remaining work.
There was an apparent uneasiness among the family members after that. Barely a week later, Maitri’s family faced what they feared. Her father kept claiming innocence; he was given an option: either to resign gracefully or to be asked to leave. It was a ten-year old case that had surfaced under some conspiracy to lay off men just for the record purpose.
The family was devastated by the news. They kept hoping against hope for months but destiny had a different plan for them. Sanjay Verma’s unceremonious exit from his job was the reason that there was not going to be a pension for the family too.
A sudden cease in the monthly flow of money was a reason big enough to send shock waves across the family members. They were already struggling to have a decent livelihood. Although nobody spoke on the issue, a glaring fear of their uncertain future was visible on their faces. Soon Minal and Nishu took up the offered jobs. Their father’s unsaid approval showed them how grave the situation had turned out to be. He shed kilos within weeks of losing his job.
Months passed and the situation gradually got a little steady. Maitri’s father was a changed man altogether. His morning chores now included helping his wife with the kids' tiffins. He started doing most of his chores himself. Guilt of not being able to help his family financially smote him. He mostly kept to himself to overcome his guilt.
Maitri could never speak to her father about Dipak's proposal. However, Dipak’s next message spilled the details of his marriage. She informed him of her circumstances through text messages, but Dipak did not reply, making Maitri feel helpless and forlorn.
Bolting herself in the washroom, she called him a day before his marriage.
“Hello.” Maitri spoke uncertainly.
“Hello...”, came the voice from the other end of the receiver.
There was a lull before Maitri spoke further. “How are you?”
“Maitri...why have you called today?”
Maitri died a thousand deaths with those words. She hung up the phone and buried her face in her palms, breaking down into sobs.
“Maitri... Maitri... are you going to the market to get the vegetables? I need onions too.” Maitri’s mother shouted from the kitchen.
Maitri felt a sense of despise. She gritted her teeth in frustration. She lifted her face and grimaced in disgust.
“I am not going anywhere. Why don’t you ask the others to do some work for you?”, she shouted loud enough to be heard. “Why does it have to be me always?”
Maitri’s mother came out of the kitchen and banged the bathroom door. “Maitri beta, what happened?”
“Nothing.”
The days went by mundanely and it took the family almost a year to start living normally. Maitri stuck to her teaching job, gradually parting with most of her friends as they kept getting married. That summer vacation went by without the family visiting their hometown: something which Maitri had wanted desperately too.
It was the same year, after vacations, when Maitri met Koyel, the new Economics teacher. Koyel was a pretty young girl with a beautiful smile; she had brilliant brown eyes which glinted when she smiled. She stood tall at 5 feet 6 inches- tallest among her colleagues. She always wore shalwar-suits that hugged her hour-glass figure lovingly. Koyel looked prettier when she let her shoulder-length hair loose, occasionally pushing them back with a flick of her index-finger.
Inspite of being poles apart, Maitri and Koyel got together like a house on fire, each complimenting the other in traits. Koyel impressed everyone she met with her flamboyance. One of the prime reasons for Maitri’s increasing fondness for Koyel was that Koyel was everything that Maitri aspired to be; she wanted to be a free soul like Koyel; she wanted to be sinful like her, fraught-free like her. Their friendship helped Maitri forget her pains. Koyel was two years younger than Maitri.
It was not long after knowing each-other that Koyel had bragged about her affairs in front of Maitri, and Maitri too had confided in her about her failed relationship with Dipak.
One of Koyel’s most consistent boyfriends, Piyush, used to call her every day in school. He would sometimes come to school to see her too.
One time, when Maitri was all alone in the staffroom, she found Koyel’s phone ringing. It was Piyush on the line. She could suddenly not control her urge to attend the call. So, she received the phone. “Hello...?”
“Hello Jaan...”, Piyush replied without recognizing the voice.
“Umm...sorry... this is Maitri, Koyel’s friend. Koyel has a lecture right now.”, Maitri said in an apologetic tone.
“Oh, Maitri! How are you madamji?”, Piyush blurted out flirtatiously. “I know quite a lot about you!”
Maitri felt conscious at his comment. She began cursing herself for revealing her secret which had reached a complete stranger, and she was sure that he was judging her character on the phone.
“Excuse me?”, she spoke firmly.
“Sorry, no offence! I was just being casual.”
Maitri hung up the phone at once on finding Koyel at the staffroom door.
“Can you please hold them?”, Koyel looked hassled trying to balance a pile of notebooks.
“Here, give me some.”, Maitri said, shoving Koyel’s mobile in her bag and extending a helping hand.
Maitri was in two minds about discussing the call with Koyel. She feared Koyel’s misinterpretation of this gesture as a person who had no love-life trying to get some thrill in her life. The worst part was that it was, in fact, true to some extent.
After that incident, Maitri would wait for
Piyush’s call in Koyel’s absence. She also subtly tried asking Koyel if she had spilled the beans in front of her boyfriend about her relation with Dipak.
Maitri’s first encounter with a man after almost a year and a half had aroused several secret desires in her. She urged for talking to a man, and Dipak was the most accessible person at the moment. She even began eaves-dropping their conversations and became queerly jealous of Koyel every time she got cozy with Piyush on phone.
Piyush called Koyel at around 12 every day, except Wednesdays when Koyel would have a lecture at that time. Coincidentally, Maitri was usually free at around 12 every day.
On one such Wednesday, when Koyel was not around, Maitri coyly took Koyel’s mobile out and began to check her conversation with Piyush. She was reminded of her moments with Dipak on reading the messages. Piyush for sure came across as a charmer.
'I miss your beautiful eyes, your rosy lips, your slim fingers caressing my hair.’
‘What else?’
‘...the feel of your lips on mine.’
‘Stop it Piyush. Don’t even write these things. Ma is going to kill me.’
‘and your soft touch…Koyel, you drive me crazy, girl…’
And then they showered each other with kiss emojis.
Maitri struggled to suppress her rising desires on reading the conversation. She battled an upsurge of emotions; her body craved for a man’s touch. She crossed her arms around herself as if cuddling her own body and closed her eyes. She wondered how it felt to be touched by a man, to be praised by a lover, to be caressed by someone.
She took out the contacts in Koyel’s mobile and her fingers stopped at Piyush’s contact. As she playfully rubbed her thumb against the mobile screen over the name flashing 'Piyush', her friend Nilam suddenly greeted her from behind. Maitri pressed the screen accidentally and the call got connected.
Piyush picked up the call at the other end and she heard a phonic ‘Hello’ from him. She quickly rejected the call and shoved the mobile back in Koyel’s bag. Meanwhile, the bell for the next period had rung and Maitri picked her books up to go for the next lecture. As soon as Koyel arrived in the staffroom, her phone started ringing. It was Piyush on the line.
