by S. C. Adams
She goes right for the door without looking back.
“Kate, wait—”
“I’m so fucking stupid,” she mutters to herself. “I was dumb to think I was different. What’s wrong with me? You don’t need me. I’m just a fun, convenient lay for the rich playboy.”
“Now, wait,” I say assertively. “I’m not going to let you say that. You are different. You’re different than all of them. You’re the best girl I’ve ever met! You are so much more than just a lay. Don’t insult me. Don’t insult you.”
“I’m sorry that I’m passing on lunch,” she says as she goes to leave. “Take care, Aiden.”
I nearly lunge from behind my desk in order to catch her before she gets out that door. I take her by the hand and pull her close into me.
“Kate.”
“Please just give me a little distance for now, Aiden.”
“I will,” I relent. “But only if you please just stay for two minutes, listen to me, and let me try and say what I have to say.”
She sits down. She is apprehensive and ready to leave, but she finally fills the chair like I’ve been wanting for days.
“I’m sorry that I upset you,” I say. “I wasn’t trying to be difficult the other night. I just sort of felt like I was being put on the spot.”
“Okay,” she says. “I get that.”
“I’ve been in one relationship my whole life,” I admit. “Looking back on it, I wish I could’ve done it all differently or never even met her. I don’t do serious commitments; it’s not like me. I’ve been scared as all hell even thinking about giving a relationship a try. I don’t know how to do it. I barely even know how to handle my feelings. I would be a disaster in a relationship!”
“How do you feel about me?” she asks again.
“What?”
“You’re not being put on the spot, Aiden!” she says. “You wanted me here! I’m here, and you’ve had three days to figure out that answer! Just say it!”
Instead of giving a sloppy reply or going with a lie, I choose to awkwardly chuckle to myself and say nothing. I think that will be my best move, but it’s clearly the dumb and safe move.
Before I can come up with anything else, she stands back up from her seat and walks back to the door.
“If you can’t figure out how you feel about me, it really is best that we don’t sleep over anymore,” says Kate. “I’ll keep pretending to be your beau for a month or two. I’ll stick it out and keep playing the part as I have from the moment you threw me into it, and it’ll all be okay. Unless, of course, you’re seen out with another girl. We could hurry up and end this bullshit right away. No one would be surprised that you cheated.”
“I don’t want to be with another girl,” I say.
“We’ll stick it out, and then we’ll say the media put too much pressure on our relationship, and it caused our engagement to come to a messy end,” she says without listening to me. “If you need me for something work-related, I think you should delegate to someone and let them be our go-between. Have Adam do it. I don’t care. Goodbye, Aiden.”
She makes her exit, marching straight out the front entrance from where she came.
“I’m pretty upset, bro, I’m not going to lie,” I complain to Adam. “I wasn’t expecting her reaction to be like this.”
“You’re surprised when a chick doesn’t listen?” Adam chuckles as he sips from a cold bottle of beer.
Adam and I are out at a bar downtown that we’ve never been to, but it’s dimly lit with a low profile, which is what I want that evening. I want a nice quiet place away from herds of people, where I can get drunk, watch the game, and vent to Adam about everything that’s been going on with me. By the time I’m finally done talking, my throat is dry and my heart feels heavy.
“Wow,” Adam says as he finishes his second drink. “You did kind of fuck up.”
“I don’t know what to do,” I confess. “This whole thing is a fucking mess.”
“Why the fuck are you turning into such a mush-mouth around this girl?” Adam asks while looking for our bartender. “With all the shit you said, it’s a miracle that you get any girls to sleep with you. Thank God you’re rich.”
“Fuck you,” I retort. “I know I don’t know how to word things sometimes. I’m fucking brilliant—you’re brilliant, too—but you know sometimes we think before we speak and vice versa.”
“It’s a blessing and a curse to be so great,” Adam says sarcastically.
“I don’t know how to fix things,” I admit. “Fixing things is Kate’s job. I hate being away from her, man.”
Adam gives me a smirk and elbows me playfully. “Look at you.”
“Look at me, what?” I ask.
“I suspect that maybe you actually really like this girl,” says Adam. “It sounds like you don’t just want your media image fully restored. You aren’t just doing this weird fake marriage shit because you need to look like a guy in love. Maybe you’re really heading that way for real. You think?”
I do think. “I do want things to work out between us. I do like the idea of us being together. I don’t know about being engaged. I mean, we’ve only known each other for a couple of weeks.”
“Hey, when it’s right, it’s right,” says Adam. “I’m not saying it is or isn’t, but you know. You do. You just don’t realize you know it.”
“Do you think it’s possible?” I ask. “Could I be in love with Kate? I’ve never been in love, Adam. I don’t know what it feels like. Everyone always says, ‘You’ll know it.’ But what if I really don’t know it?”
“Does that thought scare you?” he asks. “Are you afraid you really are falling for this chick?”
“The thought freaks me out like you don’t know, bro,” I say. “In fact, I could easily freak out in here and totally ruin the vibe.”
“Yeah, don’t do that,” Adam says, patting me on the back, trying to calm me down. “Relax, mate. You’ve got this. My recommendation? Tell her everything you just told me. She has to know you’re at least thinking about a real future together. Otherwise, she’s thinking she’s just a slam piece for you when you’re horny, you know?”
I do know. “I wish it was that easy. After all this crazy shit we’ve been through together, I thought she’d let me have my say. But she didn’t let me get a word in. I’m pretty sure I’ve blown my chances with her.”
“You don’t know that for a fact,” says Adam. “You might have, you might not. She came to your office for lunch. She is willing to see you again. Just talk to her, man. Lay it on the line.”
18
Kate
Lily and I agree to meet at the Manhattan diner, where we’d seen Aiden and Adam before, for Saturday brunch. She knows we’re meeting for the sole purpose of discussing everything: Aiden, the engagement, our sex, our separation, and all the matter in the middle.
While I unload my stories to Lily at the diner, I start to come to a conclusion that eventually makes me face a hard truth. By the end, I don’t feel stupid posing this question to her: “Do you think I could have actually been starting to fall in love with Aiden?”
Lily gives a hearty chuckle. “I think you know you’re falling in love with him.”
“But this is all wrong!” I whine. “He’s just confused, and he’s confusing me. He doesn’t have real feelings for me. I think we’ve just been too high off each other to know the difference. What we have—had, whatever—isn’t real.”
“I don’t know about that,” says Lily doubtfully. “What you have is flipping weird, but it seems pretty real to me.”
“I feel defeated,” I continue. “I’m like, powerless to save myself from a broken heart. I have to work for him. I have to keep wearing his ring on my finger.”
“Actually, honey, you don’t have to do shit.” She laughs. “You’re doing this on your own. No one’s making you do anything. Take that ring and go sell the shit out of it. Let’s take a road trip to Vegas, girl.”
“I can’t d
o that.”
“Why not?” she asks. “You didn’t sign any fucking paperwork. This is a real engagement. Treat it like one.”
“Okay, then I’m definitely not selling the ring,” I say, covering it up out of her sight. “I just, I don’t want to waste my time. I’m tired of wasting my time on the wrong guys. I can’t be with someone that can’t admit if he has feelings for me or not.”
“He’s told you that he has feelings for you,” says Lily. “What do you mean?”
“I’m afraid there’s no chance that Aiden will ever really be in love with me,” I say while trying to stifle tears. “He says he’s never been in love before. What if he never will? Lily, what do I do?”
She takes my hands and holds them in hers compassionately. I wipe my tears away on my sleeve.
“First of all,” she begins. “You don’t have to work for Aiden Marx if you don’t want to. No one’s making you do anything. You either want to stay at Tech Wreck for your unbelievable work ethic or your heart. Or both.
“Secondly, I just have to ask you: Do you really think you could actually be falling for him? You’re not confused at all? He is really handsome and really rich.”
“I’m pretty sure I am falling in love with him,” I tell her. “Or was falling. I don’t know. Ugh, it’s going to be torture being around him, pretending to be married when I know it can never be.”
“Kate,” says Lily impatiently. “You don’t know if you two could be a thing or not! You need to talk to him! You’ve talked to me enough. After we pay our bill, the next thing you should do is go and talk with Aiden. Clear the air.”
“What if I don’t believe him when he tries to convince me he has feelings for me?” I ask. “If he cared about me, he would’ve said so when I asked.”
“I’m sorry, but do you even get guys?” Lily asks through fits of laughter. “Guys aren’t ever honest about how they feel. You have to drag that out of them. That’s just how men are. You’ve got a man that might just need a little time.”
“What if I’m like head over heels for this guy, and it all turns out to mean nothing?” I ask.
“That’s how it is in all romances, hun,” says Lily. “No one knows what the future holds. People break up for a multitude of reasons all the time. How can you have a relationship if you aren’t willing to take a little risk?”
I think about Lily’s wise words as we clean off our plates and pay our waitress. I ponder on what Aiden is doing, and if he is thinking about me.
“No way!” Lily laughs.
I look at her and realize that something by the entrance caught her attention. I’m stupefied.
There, standing in my diner yet again, is Aiden Marx. He is accompanied by a business associate that I know by face but not by name. They scand the place looking for a seat.
“I don’t believe this,” I utter. “Shit.”
“What are the fucking odds?” Lily asks.
“I’m the unluckiest person in the city,” I say with my head in my hands.
“I think the ten thousand or so homeless people scattered on the streets would challenge that claim,” she says. “But holy shit. This really is ludicrous. Same diner, same time. It would’ve been the same duo if Aiden had brought his hot friend with him.”
Without me helping, Aiden finds me. He looks just as astounded as I am. He grins and walks toward our table with his associate.
“Remember, you’re supposed to be engaged,” Lily whispers.
“Kate!” says Aiden upon arrival. “I had no idea you were coming here for brunch this morning.”
“Well, it’s becoming one of my favorite places in the city,” I say.
I stand up so that I can kiss and hug Aiden for a second. I’m mostly doing it for Aiden’s business associate to keep up appearances, but I have to admit that it feels good just feeling his warm embrace and warm lips against mine again.
“Hi, Lily!” Aiden says.
“Hello, Aiden,” she says with a smile. “Fancy seeing you here again.”
“We do seem to run into each other a lot, don’t we?” he asks. “Ladies, this is my business associate, Gavin. Gavin and I were just about to have lunch ourselves.”
“Why don’t I give you a moment, Aiden?” Gavin offered. “I’ll get us a seat.”
“Thanks, Gav,” says Aiden. “I’ll have raspberry tea if they ask.”
“You know what,” Lily says as she gets on her feet. “Why don’t I give you both some privacy, as well? I’ll be outside, Kate. It was good seeing you again, Aiden.”
And just like that, my best friend abandons me and leaves me to face my eccentric billionaire. This time, he chooses not to sit, but rather to stand.
“I have to admit,” he says quietly. “I’m a little surprised to see you still wearing your engagement ring.”
I twist the big ring on my finger, still a little surprised to see it on my hand also.
“I’m playing the part like I said I would,” I reply. “I’m not going to break off our engagement just a few days after we announced it to the world. That’d be kind of fucked up.”
“I have a lunch meeting with Gavin over there, but it shouldn’t go longer than twenty-five minutes to a half hour tops,” begins Aiden. “In fact, I’ll breeze through the damn meeting and get it done in ten minutes. Would it be possible to talk after I’m done with my meeting with Gavin?”
“No,” I answer. “I’m busy. I’m sorry. Besides, we just finished eating and paying. We weren’t staying around much longer.”
“Oh,” he says, deflated. “I guess it’s pointless to try and get some time with you later today? Or perhaps tomorrow, or whenever you’re free?”
“Aiden, I don’t want to hear you try to force it and say something stupid that you don’t mean,” I interject. “If you had real feelings for me, you’d have said so when I asked. You wouldn’t have had to think about it.”
“You really believe I don’t have genuine feelings for you?” he asks.
“Correct,” I say. “I don’t want either of us to waste our time. Let’s just stick to business. I can do that brilliantly. Clearly, I misjudged you.”
“You’re misjudging the hell out of me a lot lately,” Aiden says. “I’ll agree to that. I have to wonder why you say it’s such a waste of time. We were having amazing sex and having the time of our lives, or so I thought.”
He leans in closer to the table so that he can keep his voice lowered.
“The reason the sex is so amazing and why we have so much fun is obvious, Ms. Harly,” he says. “We both know it’s because we care a lot about each other.”
I want to believe that with all my heart. “Oh, we know?”
“Please,” he says. “I’m going to ask you one more time. Can we please talk after my meeting? I’ll get you something else to eat while you wait.”
“I’m full, thank you,” I say. “Really, I’m busy for the rest of the day. I can’t wait around, I’m sorry.”
“All right, then.”
“But,” I add, giving in a little. “How about we meet for lunch tomorrow? You pick the place; surprise me. You’re pretty good at surprising me.”
He grins widely, growing jubilant and excited. “Really, Kate?”
“Really, Aiden.”
He leans down and gives me a long, sweet kiss on my lips. I love the way he kisses, and I don’t want to end it, once it’s started.
We separate, and he walks back toward his meeting.
“I’ll pick you up tomorrow afternoon!” says Aiden. “It’s amazing, Kate! Us finding each other no matter when and where we are. Think about it!”
I am thinking about it. All I can do is think about it.
19
Aiden
I’m jittery as hell and nervous as fuck as I head to Kate’s to pick her up for lunch that next day on a very sunny Sunday afternoon. The butterflies begin mating in my stomach when I see that Kate is in fact waiting for me to arrive outside her apartment complex. I’m stunned to
see that there are no visible paparazzi waiting to ambush us.
My driver opens the door for Kate to get in. She joins me in the back, however she sits across from me this time, and not beside me like she always has before.
“Thank you for spending time with me today,” I say.
“You’re quite welcome,” she replies. “I thought about bringing a bottle of wine or something, but you can probably buy your own winery and you wouldn’t even notice the money missing from your bank accounts.”
“You’re probably right about that.” I laugh.
“So, where are you taking us tonight?” she asks.
“Would you care for anything to drink or eat in the car while we travel?” I offer. “There’s supposed to be a bit of light traffic on the highway.”
“I’m good, thank you,” she says. “Where are we headed for lunch? I ate a light breakfast, just in case.”
“It’s going to be extremely corny, and you’ll probably think I’m the cheapest, laziest shit bastard on the planet,” I begin. “I’m taking us back over to my grandparents’ house for a late lunch. Now, hear me out. I know I’ve already taken you over there, and you probably thought it was really too early to bring you the first time, but they’re my family, and I love them, and I love you, and I want us all to be together.”
She stares at me with her perfect lips quivering, her face puzzled and her hands fidgeting.
“Even though my grandparents aren’t tech savvy and probably won’t hear about our engagement organically,” I say. “I want to be the one to tell them about us being engaged. I don’t want them to hear about it from the news or from some random person.”
“Aiden,” she says firmly. “We do not have to take it this far. I don’t want to lie to your grandparents. I already hated lying to my parents. I don’t want to crush them when… whenever this is over.”
“What if I never want it to be over?”
