Cowboy to the Core

by Maisey Yates

  He told Jamie that he had some things to take care of tonight, and he hadn’t elaborated. She’d seemed subdued, which was strange, because Jamie was rarely subdued. It was one of the things he admired about her. But in this case, she had seemed oddly so, and because it was what he had needed from her, he didn’t push it.

  “Thanks for coming,” he said.

  They were all here. The Daltons. Such as they were right now. Jacob, Caleb and McKenna. It was going to change, though. It was inevitable. After this everything was going to change.

  But he already knew which side McKenna would stand on firmly. And while he didn’t know what Jacob’s and Caleb’s initial reactions would be...it wasn’t a discussion. Not really. There was only one right thing to do.

  What happened after they did it was up in the air, but reaching out was the only appropriate response in his mind.

  And his brothers were never going to be able to stop him from doing it.

  “I suppose you’re wondering why I called you all here today,” McKenna said, her expression comically serious.

  “Unfortunately, it’s serious,” Gabe said.

  “You’re not dying, are you?” Caleb asked, the tone of his voice indicating that he didn’t actually believe Gabe might be dying.

  “No. No, that would mean you’d have one less brother. And we’re here to talk about the fact that we have two more.”

  “What?” Caleb asked.

  “I’m going to be straight with you, and tell you that I’ve known about them for a long time.”

  “You knew?” McKenna asked. “Wait a second. There’s two other random kids. Two other random kids that aren’t me?”

  “Yes.”

  “And you knew about them all this time, and you didn’t...”

  “I didn’t have any information on who they are or where to find them. I didn’t. But I got it today. I got some contact information, not for them, but for the mothers.”

  “From Dad?”

  Gabe gritted his teeth. “From Mom. Dad didn’t know.”

  “What the fuck?” Jacob asked. “You mean, Mom knew that Dad had two other kids? And he didn’t?”

  “They came to the house to try and get money. Dad was traveling. Mom gave them cash and sent them on their way. They took it and left, and signed an agreement saying they wouldn’t come back and ask again.”

  “Seriously?”

  Gabe held up his hands. “I didn’t know all that. I knew about the boys. But I thought Dad knew. And Mom was hurt. And I...I wanted to protect her. I wanted to protect her, because you know how bad he hurt her,” he said, directing that at Jacob and Caleb. “You know what it was like for her.”

  “I’m sure she was hurt,” McKenna said. “But those kids...”

  “I knew you’d take it hard,” Gabe said, looking at McKenna. “I know it feels personal to you.”

  “Yeah, the only way it could be more personal is if it was actually me. Because it basically was me. Only a year ago.”

  “Well, Mom would handle it differently now, and she did. She feels... She’s not proud of what she did. Not at all.”

  “Well, she did it. Whether she’s proud of it or not.”

  “Yeah,” Gabe said. “But I think it’s safe to say that she did change.”

  He didn’t know why he was defending her. Not when he was so pissed off about it himself. Not when he was the one who had been used as a weapon against his father.

  “I needed you all to know. Because... I’m going to contact them. I’m going to find out who they are, and I’m going to make sure they know...”

  “What? That they’re welcome here? That we have room for them?” Jacob said it dryly, but McKenna looked at him with ferocity in her eyes.

  “Didn’t you have room for me?”

  “It was different,” Jacob said, not having the decency to look shamed. Because Jacob never did.

  “How?” McKenna pressed.

  “You’re a sister,” he said. As if that explained everything.

  “It does feel different,” Caleb said, nodding.

  “That’s not fair,” McKenna said.

  “Fair doesn’t come into it, McKenna,” Jacob said. “Life’s not fair.”

  “How’s preaching to the choir going?” she asked dryly.

  “I’m not trying to. I’m just saying it feels different. It doesn’t mean I don’t support Gabe’s decision.”

  “Well, supported or not,” Gabe said, “it’s what I’ve decided to do.”

  “What do you think is going to happen?” Caleb asked. “We are all going to end up one big, happy family taking care of troubled boys on your ranch?”

  “Dad’s ranch,” Gabe said.

  “Why? Because...”

  “Because I feel damned guilty,” Gabe said. “Because I probably could’ve gotten more information. And you know...if they’d been younger, I probably would have.”

  “How old are they?”

  “Our age.”

  “Oh, wait a second. Dad was cheating before he had money?” Caleb asked.

  “Yeah,” he said. “That’s the size of it.”

  “Damn,” Caleb said. “I like to pretend that all that went to his head. But even when he was just a regular ranch hand he was out fucking around.”

  “Yeah,” Gabe said. “Pretty much. And that saved them from coming after the money for a while. That and the fact they were married at the time. But eventually they realized they had a potential cash cow on their hands having Hank Dalton’s kids.”

  “Well, that’s something,” Jacob said, his tone bitter.

  “They may not want to be part of this, anyway,” McKenna said. “Let me tell you, I had to make a choice not to be angry. So that I could be a part of this. Because I love the three of you, idiots though you are. I’m getting to love Hank, too. And your mom... She’s been good to me. This isn’t a normal family situation, not by a long shot, but it’s the family I have. They may not make that same choice. They may have stepdads that they are just fine with. They might be married and have kids of their own.”

  “And that’s fine. But it needs to be their choice.” Gabe shook his head. “I mean, who knows how much they know.”

  “Yeah, I guess that’s true.” His brothers cleared out quickly, but McKenna lingered.

  “Are you okay?” she asked.

  “What kind of question is that?”

  “You’re changing everything. I mean, your whole life. Don’t think I haven’t noticed. Deciding to leave the rodeo, establishing this place for the boys. And now contacting half siblings. I just... I guess I want to know why. Is it because you’re thinking about settling down with...with Jamie?”

  His head snapped up. “No. Jamie’s not looking to settle down with anyone, least of all me.

  “But if she were?”

  He chuckled, but there was no humor in it. “Look at this tangled mass of shit that Mom and Dad have created. Why would I want any part of that?”

  “Then why are you...? Why are you doing all of this?”

  “Because I need something to do that isn’t just being like him. Because I need something to do that isn’t just something I did to... Hell, McKenna. Part of today was finding out that Mom pushed me into the rodeo to hurt Dad. She told me that thing about the half brothers to push me into doing that. Children Dad didn’t know about. So now I’m going to build a life. One that I’m choosing for myself.”

  “Do you hear yourself? You want to build a life for yourself, but you don’t want to get involved too deeply with Jamie because of Hank and Tammy, and the way they’ve acted. Is that actually living for yourself?”

  “Some of it is about knowing what you are, and what you’re capable of. What you’re made of.”

  “Well, in that case, I’m made of a terrified woman who abandoned her daught
er, and a man who can’t keep it in his pants. So what does that make me?”

  “I’m not here for a heart-to-heart, McKenna. Your relationship is yours. And it’s unique. And I’m happy for you. But it’s got nothing to do with me. Anyway, Grant is a relationship guy. Jamie is not...”

  “Well, it’s good you know her in her heart and all,” McKenna said, her words hard, her expression scrutinizing.

  “I’ll see you later,” he said.

  “Oh, I’m being shown the door,” McKenna said.

  “You know I love you,” Gabe said. “I’m sorry if the way I handled this whole thing with the half brothers makes you feel differently.”

  McKenna shrugged. “It doesn’t. Look, people really do change. They do. I’ve changed a hell of a lot in the past year. I’m not going to hold something against you that you didn’t pursue when you were seventeen because you were trying to protect your mom.”

  “Yeah, I tried.”

  “It’s just a shame they didn’t protect you better,” she said.

  He thought of the conversation he’d had with Jamie not so long ago. When he’d said that his mother hadn’t needed to be told to take care of him. When he really stepped in it in terms of sensitivity.

  Yeah, Tammy had made him hot chocolate and toast and chicken noodle soup when he was sick.

  But she’d done this, too.

  And dammit, he didn’t understand why people had to be so complicated.

  Because on the one hand there was manipulation. And on the other hand there was chicken soup.

  And it was difficult to mesh those two things into one person and make it all make sense. But it was all one person, and he called her Mom. And at this point, he didn’t know what the hell to do.

  CHAPTER TWENTY-SIX

  JAMIE FELT LIKE she was having trouble nailing Gabe down. He had gotten weird the day before, saying that he had something to do that evening. And then he had been scarce the couple of days since at work. She’d spent the night at her house, which was reasonable enough; it wasn’t like she lived with him. But usually they talked a little bit more.

  And so today Jamie was planning an ambush.

  She might have experienced a small bit of reformation over the past few weeks, but she was still her. And when she wanted something, she was more than happy to go and get it. Whatever that might be. And so today she was packing camping supplies and a plan. She was going to propose an overnight trip, of the trails they had ridden on earlier. And sex in the woods.

  Anyway.

  It was her birthday. So she supposed she could probably get him on her team by playing that card.

  She never did much for her birthday. It was a strange and complicated time of year and always had been. What with her mother’s death happening two days afterward and all. Wyatt and the others would give her a party this weekend. Which would fall after the anniversary of her mother’s death. That was the way they usually did it.

  It was an unspoken thing.

  And she really didn’t mind.

  But she wanted to do something this year. Because it felt different. Because she felt different. And because she wanted to find a way to connect with him, in spite of the creeping strangeness that she had a feeling pertained to his family. At least, she hoped it did. Because if not, it might have something to do with her. And she just... She didn’t want his uncertainty; she didn’t want any of that to be about her.

  In some ways she’d been happy to let him have his weirdness. Seeing as she’d been wrestling with some things of her own.

  That whole love thing.

  She really very much didn’t want to be in love. Not right now. She was finding herself in so many interesting ways. But the problem was, he seemed to be inextricably linked to it. It wasn’t as if she thought all these newfound pieces of herself would go away if she didn’t have him. It was just that she thought—no, she knew—that these experiences that were so magical and healing with him wouldn’t be the same with anyone else. Wouldn’t be the same alone. He was an important part of her life. A catalyst to her self-discovery. She’d lived with her own self without him for nearly twenty-five years, and she hadn’t found any of these things. She would never be able to separate that from him.

  She tightened up her backpack and walked toward the office, strolling in. He looked up from behind the desk. “Come in,” he said dryly.

  “Oh, I already did,” she said, grinning.

  “Yes. You did. And you have a backpack on.”

  “I do,” she said. “And that’s not all. In my truck I have a few other things.”

  He narrowed his eyes. “What other things?”

  “A tent,” she said.

  “A tent,” he repeated.

  “Yes. Because I thought that we would go camping.”

  “You want to go camping?”

  “Yes,” she said, speaking as if he were incredibly slow.

  “And what brought this on?”

  “I haven’t seen you in a few days,” she said.

  “That’s not true. We see each other every day.”

  “It is true. Because we might see each other every day, but we haven’t slept together. And we haven’t talked to each other. And it’s different. It’s been different. Anyway, I missed you.”

  “Sorry,” he said. “Just a lot of stuff going on with...the ranch.”

  The words that he spoke sounded so heavy that she knew there was more to it, but if he wasn’t going to tell her, there was no point badgering him.

  She blinked. Well, usually she wanted to badger people endlessly. Whether there was a point or not. But with him, she knew it wouldn’t work. And he would only get annoyed. So she had to figure out another way.

  “It’s my birthday,” she said.

  “Is it?”

  She grinned again. She could only hope that the slight alteration she made in her appearance today made her as adorable as she felt when she left the house this morning. She had put on mascara. She had put her hair into two braids, which she thought looked a little bit fancier. She had also put on ChapStick. Which she sometimes did before her makeover. But it did make her lips kind of shiny.

  “Yes,” she confirmed, “it’s my birthday.”

  “And the birthday girl wants to go camping?”

  “Yes,” she said.

  She could sense the moment he relented. She’d suspected he wouldn’t be able to be stubborn about her birthday. And she had been correct. “Okay. And what do you want for dinner?”

  “Fish. And you have to catch them for me.”

  He laughed. “I didn’t realize you were going to put me to work.”

  “Yes. You have to prove that you’re man enough to take care of me. You have to catch me trout.”

  “Okay,” he said. “I assume you have backups with you?”

  “Peanut butter and jelly,” she said. “But if there’s trout, we can have Rice-A-Roni and salad. And rolls. And beer.”

  “Okay. You convinced me. I think I can take time off work to go up into the mountains with a beautiful woman, go fishing and eat bread.”

  “Excellent,” she said.

  “We don’t even need to put in a full day here. Let me finish up what I’m doing in the office. There’s a spot on the property that will be ideal.”

  By the time she and Gabe were headed up the mountain in his pickup truck, with all the camping supplies in the back—the ones that she had brought, and a few that he had rounded up—Jamie felt lighter than she had in days. More connected to that moment they had down by the river, which had been so perfect and wonderful. Except for the inner turmoil it had given her. But she supposed you couldn’t have everything.

  The spot that he led them to was perfect. A vast field covered in a carpet of purple flowers, with taller yellow ones mixed in. The mountains surrounded them, great, mist
y-green guardians with a forest spread out before them like soldiers. There was a little path that led down to a small lake, where Gabe expressed confidence there would be trout.

  “I’m not eating birthday catfish,” she announced as she began to get the necessities out of the back of his truck.

  His face contorted. He was still handsome. “I’m not going to catch a catfish.”

  “In a lake you can’t really be sure.”

  “Well, if I catch one, I’ll throw it back.”

  “That seems mean.”

  He rolled his eyes. “Do you want birthday catfish or not?”

  “Not. But I figured maybe you could eat the catfish if you caught it.”

  He sighed heavily and got out the tent.

  “You’re pitching a tent for me,” she said, barely able to hold back her grin.

  “In the metaphorical sense, that’s nothing new, Jamie. Glad to set up a literal tent for you, too.”

  He set the tent out in the middle of the field, next to a cleared-out patch with a fire ring that had clearly been used for camping many times.

  “Do your brothers take women up here?”

  “You’re hoping that I don’t take women up here,” he said.

  She shrugged. “Maybe.”

  “I don’t. My parents come up here sometimes. My brothers and I have come up here. I’m pretty sure our friend Ellie and her husband, Clint, used to come up here.”

  “Ellie’s the one who lost her husband,” Jamie confirmed.

  “Yes.”

  That made Jamie’s heart squeeze tight. She had always known, in a philosophical sense, that her father had lost his wife. But it wasn’t until Gabe that she understood what that might mean. They didn’t even have children together. She never said that she loved him. He never said he loved her. They weren’t married. And yet...

  Losing him would devastate her. She would feel like she’d lost part of herself.

  She swallowed hard. “Poor thing.”

  “Yeah. She’s strong. She’s doing better.”

  “What about her daughter?”

  “She never knew him. Ellie was pregnant when he died.”

  “Oh,” Jamie said, a black hole opening up in her chest. She started hunting around the back of the truck for fishing poles, the rods clattering around against the metal bed.