I bolted up from the couch.
She lunged up after me, stepping into my path before I could flee.
“My father has kept me locked up tight for the past eight years,” she confessed, looking into my eyes. “He wanted to keep me pure because apparently some men will pay a lot of money for an untouched woman. A virgin.”
And Malik had been the one who’d purchased her.
A growl worked its way up my throat. I paced away from her. Malik wasn’t touching her. Ever. I would kill him first. I still couldn’t believe the son-of-a-bitch had gotten away. He was damn lucky his gun had been empty. He was lucky that car had hidden him, or I would have killed him.
“I was told being a virgin made me more desirable. But I don’t get that from you. I feel like you don’t want me anymore.”
I sighed and turned to face her. “Whether you’re experienced or not doesn’t matter to me.” Though the idea of being her first was a major turn on. It was also humbling, being offered what no other man had savored before me.
“I want you to be my first and only lover, Logan. I only want you.”
Hell. I closed my eyes and drew in a ragged breath. What do you say to something like that? I didn’t have the right to touch her. To take away her innocence. But I did want her. Desperately.
Once she knew more about me, she might change her mind. She might not want me at all.
“Let’s not be too hasty. Why don’t you get some sleep, and we can talk more tomorrow, okay?”
Her face fell. I’d hurt her, but I refused to take her innocence. Not like this. I wasn’t that much of an ass.
What if she was only using me? What if she only wanted me to “deflower” her so that Malik would no longer want her?
No. I didn’t want to believe Nishi would use me like that. She wouldn’t do that.
It was time to back away now. Leave her in peace.
I turned toward the door. “Get some sleep, little one. I’ll talk to you tomorrow.”
I went out, closing the door behind me.
If Nishi and I ever became intimate, it would be because of mutual want, mutual need. Mutual feelings. That was why we had to get to know each other better. Our bond needed to be strong. Our connection deep.
Before I took Nishi into my bed, I wanted to be sure she was ready, and that it was what she really wanted.
If I were to break my vow of celibacy, it had to be for the right reasons.
Though if I were honest with myself, Nishi was the only reason to break such a vow. She was that special.
She was well worth it.
CHAPTER SIXTEEN
Nishi
Sleep was rejuvenating. I didn’t realize how much until now. I slept until almost one o’clock the next afternoon. I felt energized after so much sleep. Ready to face anything. I was finally free from my father. Free from Malik. Logan and his friends had saved me. I now had a chance at a future of my own choosing. A future without the Black Dragons in it. A future that didn’t involve being shackled to Malik the Monster.
I wanted Logan in my new life. I wanted Logan to be part of my future. But he’d rejected me last night. Had I come on too strong? Should I not have kissed him? Were women not supposed to make the first move? I wish I had a female friend to talk to, someone to help guide me and help me figure him out. I had thought he’d liked it when I kissed him. He’d kissed me back so lovingly, so beautifully, so thoroughly, and he’d touched me so intimately…
My face heated in remembrance of the way Logan had touched me, his big hands stroking over my breasts, his fingers tweaking my nipples and making me moan as need swept through me. I honestly had never imagined a man’s touch could feel so wonderful. He’d left me hot and aching and desperate for more. More.
His rejection had stung. I know I’d been a little forward, but I couldn’t help it. I liked touching him. And I liked it when he touched me. I hadn’t wanted to stop.
After he’d left, I had fought back tears for a long time, lying there in the dark, feeling unwanted and undesirable. Shattered.
I slid out of bed and went into the bathroom. I brushed my teeth, then came out and dressed quickly. Moments later, I headed straight for the gym, eager to rid myself of my frustration and my hurt feelings. Maybe I was just being impatient. Maybe I was being too sensitive. Logan had said we needed to slow things down a bit. Maybe he was right. I’d never had such strong feelings for another person before, so I wasn’t quite sure how I was supposed to go about it. It was my nature to just say what I meant. To be honest and upfront with people. Maybe I was supposed to be less honest, less upfront. Maybe I was supposed to be more circumspect. Maybe I was supposed to make Logan guess what I wanted, rather than blurting everything out to him.
I reached the gym and shoved open the door, strolling into the room.
No one was here.
All the better for me.
I made my way to the punching bag, snatching up a set of fresh wraps from a pile on a table in the corner.
For the next fifteen minutes, I punched that bag, letting out my frustration with every smack, every grunt, every thrust.
But it wasn’t enough. I needed more.
As I stepped away from the bag, contemplating the other workout equipment and what I should tackle next, the gym door opened.
Ryan and Luke strolled in, eyeing me curiously as they approached.
“Damn girl.” Ryan chuckled. “You pissed about something? We could hear you grunting and groaning clear down the hallway.”
I would rather I was facing Noah or, better yet, Logan, than these two. I wasn’t sure if I liked them yet, and after yesterday’s interrogation, Luke was still at the bottom of my “like” list.
I shrugged. “Maybe.”
Luke snickered as he came to stop before me. “We can help you get rid of your frustration, little Nishi. You want to spar?”
Little Nishi? While I didn’t mind Logan calling me “little one”, I didn’t like anyone else referring to me as “little” and especially not Luke the Interrogator.
Ryan and Luke were definitely more handsome without the dark makeup smearing their faces. They were almost too good-looking. I didn’t trust them. I didn’t like the idea of being alone with them without Logan here.
But I wouldn’t let them see my discomfort.
I lifted my chin and met Luke’s gaze. “If you think you can handle it.”
Ryan chortled and smacked Luke’s arm. “She’s going to kick your ass.”
Luke waved me toward the ring. “After you.”
I entered the ring with Luke at my heels. Ryan leaned against the ropes, watching closely as we began.
I quickly discovered that Luke was very skilled. He blocked about half of the blows I threw at him, taking the others with little more than an occasional grunt or two, and when he hit back, he wasn’t rough about it. Was he purposefully holding back so he wouldn’t hurt me? I found that offensive.
“Just because I’m little doesn’t mean I’m weak,” I snapped. “Either give me your all, or get the fuck out of the ring. Don’t insult me.”
Ryan snickered from where he watched just outside of the ropes. “I gotta say, man. She just told you.”
Luke scowled. “Dregs don’t hit women. Not intentionally. And Logan would have my ass if I hurt you. What kind of man would hit a woman on purpose?”
I hesitated. It wasn’t just Logan who was different from the other men I knew. These guys were different, too. Where I’d come from—my father’s gang—I had been treated no different than any other fighter. Like a man. No one held back when they fought with me. If I didn’t give it my all, I ended up hurt. And sometimes, I still ended up hurt. So I fought hard. I fought to stay alive. I had endured many hits from other fighters, and plenty from my father himself. I was a shadow warrior.
Now, for the first time, I began to realize not all men treated females the way my father and his men did. Logan had been kind and gentle with me. And Luke was obviously reluctant to hit me too hard.
Because they didn’t believe in hurting women.
Unexpected emotion clogged my throat. “My father,” I admitted. “And his men. I’ve been hit countless times. It’s all part of the training. Whether I wanted it or not, I was forced to become a shadow warrior.”
Ryan’s face twisted with disgust. “That’s not cool at all. I have zero respect for a man who hits a woman.”
“I second that,” Luke said, and I jerked my gaze back to his. “It’s no wonder you’re so frustrated, little Nishi. You want to take it out on me? Go ahead. I’m game. And when we’re done, you can beat the shit out Ryan.”
What? No, I couldn’t. I wasn’t really mad at them. It was my father I wanted to hit. My father I wanted pummel. Again and again. Hard.
Ryan nodded. “You can use me anytime to get rid of your frustration, doll. Just say when, and I’m there.”
The gym door burst open and a handsome Hispanic man entered with the tallest, most gorgeous redheaded woman I’d ever seen. I recognized the man as the other dreg who had helped free me last night, but I’d never met the woman before. My jaw dropped and my eyes bugged out as I stared at her. The couple moved into the room, pausing just outside of the sparring ring. In Japan, most of the women were small like me. And the few women I’d glimpsed here in America hadn’t been much taller than I was. But the redheaded woman had to be close to six feet. She looked to be in her late twenties, and she was obviously in excellent physical shape, her body toned and lean.
“Well, who’s this adorable little thing?” the woman asked, smiling at me with warmth in her eyes. Her accent was different. Neither American, nor Asian. European, I think.
“Nishi,” I answered, suddenly nervous, unable to stop staring at her. “Who are you?” It had been a long time since I’d been around another woman, except for the women my father paid to cook and keep the campus clean. And I wasn’t allowed to talk to them.
“I’m Grace,” she replied. “It’s so nice to meet you, Nishi. What brings you here?”
“Um. Logan.”
Her eyebrow shot up. “Really?” Her eyes twinkled with obvious delight. “Oh, you lucky girl. He’s quite a catch. Such a sweetheart. You’d be wise to hang on to that one.”
She turned to the man who’d come in with her. “Isn’t she just adorable, Tony?”
Tony grunted. His gaze raked over me with obvious distrust. Then he glanced at Luke. “Did she check out?”
Luke nodded. “She did.”
“Leave her alone, Tony,” a familiar voice said. “She’s with me.”
Logan.
I spun toward the doorway as Logan and Noah entered the gym. My gaze immediately went to Logan, raking over him. My heart raced. He was so big and powerful. So handsome. So masculine. I wanted to run to him and throw my arms around him.
“Tony and I are getting ready to leave town and wanted to come say goodbye to everyone,” Grace announced. “The kids will be out of school in about an hour, so we can’t stay long.”
The other dregs all stepped forward, shaking hands and giving hugs and well wishes. I hung back, feeling like an outsider.
Logan moved away from the others and came to stand by my side, his gaze gentle as it locked on mine. “What are you doing in the sparring ring, little one?”
I shrugged. “Sparring with Luke.”
He cocked a brow. “With Luke?”
“Yeah.”
His lips twitched. “Did you kick his ass?”
A laugh bubbled out. “Right. He’s more than twice my size.”
“Maybe so, but you’re a strong little thing. You want to spar with me, Nishi?”
I looked into his gentle, light brown eyes. I didn’t want to hit him. I’d rather wrestle across his bed with him. Naked. The very idea made heat sweep through me. “No, I don’t want to hit you, Logan. I would much rather kiss you.” And there I went, blurting out my thoughts again.
Color crept into his face. I’d embarrassed him. I needed to learn how to think before I spoke. My boldness was making him uncomfortable. What if I only ended up pushing him away?
“I’m sorry,” I mumbled, lowering my gaze. “I didn’t mean to be so forward. But I can’t help how I feel about you.” The truth just wouldn’t die. I couldn’t even pretend to be a secretive person.
Logan cleared his throat, but his lips twitched. “You are definitely a bold little thing, but I like that about you. It leaves no doubt in my mind where I stand with you.” Then he leaned closer and whispered in my ear, “I would much rather kiss you, too. And I have feelings for you, too, Nishi, which is why I don’t want to rush this.”
I jerked my gaze to his. Nothing but sincerity stared back at me. He cared for me too, truly? A slither of pleasure pulsed through me, making heat coil at my core. Logan had feelings for me, too. I wanted to throw my arms around him and hug him tightly. But we weren’t alone.
I felt Grace’s gaze on me and glanced over at her. “She’s so pretty. And so tall.”
Logan nodded. “She’s a good woman. I think you two would get along great. It’s too bad they are leaving.”
I watched Grace and Tony for a moment, trying to ignore Tony’s suspicious stare. “Tony doesn’t like me,” I added.
“Tony doesn’t like anyone, so don’t take it personally. But he’s getting less hostile since he met her. She’s good for him.”
I glanced back at them, noting the way Tony’s arm lay lovingly, possessively around Grace’s waist, and the way Grace constantly touched him on his hand, his arm, his cheek. There was an obvious affection between them. They were definitely in love.
Longing coiled inside me. I wanted that. With Logan. Deep affection. Unconditional love. Was that possible? Could we ever have what Grace and Tony had?
Grace left the others and approached us. “So, Nishi,” she began, “I would really like to get to know you better, but since we’re leaving, I won’t see these guys again for a while. How long are you planning to stick around?”
I glanced at Logan. “As long as he’ll let me stay. Forever, I hope.”
Grace grinned, glancing from me to Logan and back. Logan turned red and excused himself, going over to speak with Tony.
My heart sank. Had I embarrassed him again?
“I have a habit of speaking my mind,” I whispered in embarrassment. “I don’t think he knows quite how to take me. He said he likes that I speak my mind, but I think I need to work on keeping my thoughts to myself because I keep embarrassing him.”
Grace gently squeezed my hand. “Hey, girl, don’t change for any man. Just be yourself. It’s obvious Logan has feelings for you. Holy shite, he looks at you with such reverence, like you’re something special and priceless. Trust me, Logan likes you just the way you are. He wouldn’t want you to change at all. He’s totally enamored with you.”
Heat washed in my face. “Are you sure? How can you tell?”
Grace chuckled softly. “You’re adorable, you know that? If you two have a connection, then everything will just happen naturally. You can’t force it. You can’t rush it. Love just is.”
My heart warmed at her kind words. Love just is.
“Thank you. I wish you weren’t leaving. I don’t have any female friends. I don’t have anyone to talk to.”
“Oh, honey.” Grace pulled me in for a hug. It was so genuine, so caring, that emotion clogged my throat. I missed my mother. Grace was so motherly. Like my mama.
She set me away and gazed into my eyes. “Logan is a total sweetheart. He would never, in a million years, do anything to hurt you. There is no doubt in my mind that he will protect you with his life.”
I believed her. I believed Logan would always protect me. Even if he didn’t want to.
“How do I know for sure if he wants me? We kissed last night, but then he stopped and said we need to slow it down. Does that mean he doesn’t really want me?”
Grace’s eyes twinkled. “Oh, definitely not. It just means you’re getting to him and it probably scares him. Somet
imes strong feelings can be overwhelming. There’s nothing wrong with going slow, letting your feelings grow first. If it’s meant to be, everything will work out in the end. Right?”
I blinked back unexpected tears. “Thank you so much. It’s just that when I’m with him, I want to touch him everywhere. I want to kiss him. But I don’t know much of anything about men. I don’t know what I’m supposed to do.”
Grace nodded in sympathy. “Just do what feels right.” She paused, her gaze filling with kindness. “The other dregs filled us in on who you are and what happened to you. But you are safe here, Nishi. Logan will take care of you.” She winked. “In every way that a man can take care of a woman.”
I blushed furiously, then giggled. “Can I call you sometime if I need someone to talk to?”
“Of course, you can. I would like that very much. Logan has my number.”
She hugged me once more, then we went to join the group. Grace was amazing. I already knew she was going to be a forever friend.
Several minutes later, Grace and Tony left. She told me to call her at any time, day or night.
Grace made me feel so much better about myself. And about my feelings for Logan.
I now had a female friend I could trust. And talk to.
I now had Logan to protect me and keep me safe from my father and Malik.
I was truly no longer alone.
But I wasn’t naïve enough to think I would never have to worry about my father or Malik again.
Because they would eventually find me. My father wouldn’t let me go so easily. And neither would Malik.
How long would Logan be able to keep me safe?
CHAPTER SEVENTEEN
Logan
“So…what do you want to do?”
Tony and Grace had just left, and the other dregs were now working out in the gym. Nishi and I had moved out into the hallway, and I had walked her back to Gordon’s apartment. I wasn’t quite sure what we were going to do now, but I was thinking of asking her if she wanted to have breakfast with me, then afterwards maybe watch a movie or something. We could just hang out, talk, play games, do laundry or whatever. I just wanted to be around her, enjoying her company in any way that I could.
The Trainer (military romantic suspense) (The Dregs Book 5) Page 12
