by Amelia Wilde
The memory flushes warmly through my chest. It’s agony.
It must be agony for my father, too, but he doesn’t mention it.
Instead, he goes farther into the room to stand in front of the desk. Then he turns to face us, extending a hand toward Jessica.
“Ms. Reeves,” he says, his voice deep and tired. “Please let me apologize for any unpleasantness…any discomfort you might have experienced over the past couple of weeks. It’s a pleasure to meet you. I am Arthur Caldwell, King of Saintland, and Alexander’s father.”
Jessica shakes her head, waving away his need to apologize, and places her other hand over his in a gesture of sympathy. “I was so very sorry to hear about your son, your majesty.” Someone must have coached her how to greet him.
My father bows his head over their clasped hands, and when he looks up his eyes are shining. “It was very sudden. Very sudden. But I’m pleased that Alexander has someone to stand by his side.”
Jessica smiles a little, her cheeks turning pink.
“However, Ms. Reeves, I wanted to speak with you.”
“Of course.”
“As I’m sure you have heard, Alexander is shortly going to be named the crown prince.”
“Yes, I have heard this news, your majesty.”
My father’s tone grows more severe.
“You should know,” he says, looking her straight in the eye, “that his responsibilities in the future will be a far greater burden than he’s been accustomed to. If you intend to remain by his side, you need to be fully aware that your life will no longer be yours alone.”
Jessica meets his gaze, her brow furrowed.
“You must be fully aware that the eyes of Saintland will be on you. There are expectations, Ms. Reeves. This responsibility is not one to be taken lightly.”
“I understand, your majesty.”
“Do you?” my father says, his eyes locked on her face.
“Yes. I do,” Jessica responds, her voice smooth and confident. All the same, I see a flicker of nervousness glinting in her eyes.
“Then I’ve done my part,” says my father, patting her hand and then releasing it. “It’s time we went back out to join our guests.”
Jessica returns her hand to the crook of my elbow, and I can feel her trembling.
The reality of the situation has probably just hit her, just as it’s hitting me, too.
The stakes are higher now.
Much higher.
For both of us.
Chapter 29
Jessica
My hands are shaking when we return to the Great Hall, back to the crowds of people and the incredible array of food that is constantly being replenished. The wait staff must be really good at their jobs because I rarely catch one of them attending to the tables.
Just before we reenter the fray, I tug Alec’s arm and whisper in his ear. “Did I do all right?”
I’m not usually the kind of girl who needs validation for how I’ve navigated a social situation. I’ve been handling that on my own for years, thank you very much. But being here with Alec is different. I can no longer just sit on the periphery and hope I’m playing my cards right, like I did back in New York. It’s beginning to sink in that the more time I spend with Alec, the more I’m going to belong and fit in here, and the more I’m going to have to live according to their rules, not my own.
This gives me pause.
The king’s words ring in my ears.
“There are expectations, Ms. Reeves. This is not to be taken lightly.”
Of course, I can’t know all that he meant by that, but since he’s the King of Saintland and oversees the entire kingdom, it wasn’t your typical “be careful with each other’s hearts” speech. Now that Alec will be the crown prince, our relationship and everything it entails will have ramifications reaching far beyond just the two of us.
I’m going to have a lot less leeway for plans that might shake up the status quo.
“Is that something you really want?” the voice in the back of my head pipes up. “Don’t you want to be in charge of your own life?”
As I stand at Alec’s side, my hand on his arm, it’s easy to scoff at the thought. I am in charge of my own life, and I have chosen to be here. So what if it’s going to be harder to pack up and move across the country when I feel like a change of scenery?
The only scenery I need is Alec.
I don’t end up having much time to think about it because the very next day, everything changes.
Alec arrives at my suite at eight in the morning and sits with me while I eat breakfast. As the team starts packing up the suite, he explains how the near future is going to play out.
“Rooms are already prepared for you in the palace,” he says, breaking a small piece from a scone and popping it into his mouth.
“Rooms?” I say.
“Yes. There are several suites on the third level of the palace where my rooms and Marcus—.” He breaks off, swallowing as though it hurts, and then continues. “—where my rooms are located. The king’s rooms are also on that level. You’ll be staying in the queen’s rooms.”
It occurs to me that those would have been his mother’s private rooms if she had had the chance to live here.
The significance of being assigned to the queen’s quarters makes my head spin.
“Claire will be with you there, as well,” he says, taking another bite of the scone. “If you’re happy with her, she can continue on as your head personal assistant.”
“Head personal assistant? Isn’t this a bit much for your…your girlfriend?”
I realize after the words are out of my mouth that this is the first time either of us has brought up titles, and I wish I could grab them out of the air and shove them back into my mouth. What the hell am I thinking? He doesn’t need that kind of pressure right now.
But Alec only leans across the table at me, a glint sparkling in his tired eyes. “Do you really think, my lady Jessica, that at the end of this you will be only my girlfriend?”
A furious blush rushes to my cheeks. “We really don’t have to talk about it now,” I say hurriedly.
The quiver in my voice makes him smile. “I’ll tell you what I think. I think you’ll be much, much more than my girlfriend when all is said and done.”
A laugh bubbles up in my chest at his innuendo-laced tone. “Alec, there are people around,” I whisper.
He waves a hand. “There are always people around. I can send them all away right now if you want to spend some time alone reminding each other why we’re in this for the long haul.” He plants a kiss on the top of my head.
“No,” I giggle, feeling giddy and foolish. “There’s a lot to do today, isn’t there?”
“Oh, yes,” he says. “You have a full schedule, and so do I. It seems we both have a lot to get caught up on. But that could wait twenty minutes.” He pulls me into a tight embrace and kisses my hair again.
The half grin on his face is the first real smile I’ve seen from him since he got the news about his brother.
“Twenty minutes,” I say sternly, although we both know that if he wants three hours, three days, or six months, I’ll give in without a second thought.
The team is out the door inside of ten seconds.
The sex is hard, rough and fast, both of us unrestrained in our show of passion for one another, leaving marks from our lips and fingers.. When we’re spent, lying back on my bed in the Northern Crown, I trace the line of his jaw with my fingertip.
It’s the last time for several days—perhaps even weeks—that I see him so relaxed.
By noon, I’ve been set up in the queen’s rooms in Sainthall Palace, by 12:30 I’m eating my first lunch prepared by the palace staff, and by 1:00 I’m sitting through my first briefing meeting.
There is a lot I don’t know about being with the crown prince, but I’m about to learn it all at breakneck speed.
The moment the first staff member starts speaking, I have to fight the ur
ge to leave. I honestly thought it would be similar to spending time with Christian’s crowd back home, but the first five minutes of this presentation—a lesson on the myriad etiquette rules I’ll need to follow—seem like it’s a graduate level course in an unknown foreign language.
I straighten my back in my chair and take in a deep breath in an effort to push my apprehension away.
I can do this.
I will do this.
There will be no regrets.
Chapter 30
Alec
The twenty minutes of lovemaking I insisted on having with Jessica is the last ones we spend without clothes on for a solid week.
It’s the busiest week of my life. It’s so busy that I can’t even catch my fucking breath, much less grieve for my brother. There is simply no unscheduled time. Even my father swallows down his sadness so that he can go about the business of running the kingdom.
On the first day, I learn there is more to being crown prince than I ever suspected. Marcus never once let on just how much…at least not out loud. Now I see why he was wound up tighter than tinsel on a tree. Now I see why the smallest things set him off into a tangent.
Before the first morning is over, I catch myself promising never to let things get that far with me, only to realize, with shame, that I did allow situations to escalate far beyond a reasonable point…and I didn’t even have anything close to a legitimate excuse like Marcus and my father did.
It won’t do me any good to set the bar higher than I can possibly fucking manage, so instead I remind myself to try—try—to remain reasonable, even in the face of this incredible stress.
The one bright spot is Jessica. Thinking of her face somehow excites me and calms me at the same time. As far as I knew, Marcus didn’t have that type of relationship with anyone. He was too busy making strategic “partnerships” for the sake of Saintland.
That’s one mistake I swear I will not repeat.
Jessica is the one woman for me.
It’s just that my days are so consumed with meeting after endless meeting that I can hardly break away.
On the first morning, Phillip tells me my first meeting is scheduled for 7:30, at least an hour earlier than I generally check in with my father.
“That early? What’s the meeting about?”
Phillip pulls out a tablet and swipes through what appears to be a very long list. I have to hand it to Phillip—he’s making the transition with more goddamn grace than I am. It’s also impossible to discount the network of people he must have working behind the scenes. There are strict rules about information-sharing between the household staff and assistants, but there’s no person alive who thinks they don’t help one another out in times of upheaval.
Like right now.
“It’s a weekly security briefing.”
“At 7:30 in the morning?” The only reason I was up at 6:30 is because I couldn’t sleep. I’d been lying awake in my bed, thinking of Marcus and all the shitty things I’ve said to him, since 4:00.
He swipes at the tablet again, then narrows his eyes as he reads what’s on the screen. “It says here that this is a kingdom-wide security briefing. Obviously, there would be no classified content in the schedule management system, but the only briefings you were required to attend before were the briefings for Sainthall and Sainthall Palace.”
So Marcus was overwhelmed and sleep-deprived, and had no one to take the edge off at night with a quick fuck, even if it wasn’t with a girlfriend or wife.
The security briefing is where my line of unending meetings began, and for the week leading up to the ceremony naming me crown price, it is sheer scheduling madness.
I have back-to-back meetings and briefings all morning. After three days, I successfully booked myself an hour alone to work out in the palace gym in the afternoon. The only problem is that it means the final meeting of the day gets pushed past dinner.
And nothing ever runs on schedule.
Meetings go over the scheduled time, and over, and over, and by the time I’m done for the day, the only thing I have energy for is going back to my rooms and collapsing into bed. Alone. To sleep.
On the fifth day, I miss Jessica so much that I go to her rooms instead of mine. I’m tired of seeing her only in my daydreams or at mealtimes, and then only when I’m not being spoon-fed classified information from the revolving door of agents and cabinet members. When I arrive, she’s reading curled up on the window seat, a book open in her lap, and when I see her, I’m nearly pulled apart by envy and lust. The envy quickly dies away in a burst of empathy. Phillip doesn’t brief me on her daily schedule, but if mine is any indication, she’s busy all day, too.
When the door opens, she looks up and smiles at me, her radiant expression filled with love and adoration.
Fuck me if anything in the world means more to me than Jessica.
She stands up and tosses the book onto her seat, rushing across the room to get to me and flinging herself into my arms.
“I thought you’d never come,” she says into my ear, then takes my earlobe between her teeth and bites down just enough.
My cock is instantly hard, pressing up against the fabric of my pants, and I set her feet on the floor so she can steady herself while I kiss her deeply, then softly, then passionately enough to make up for the last five days away from one another.
When I break the kiss, she gasps for breath, her eyes glittering in the low light of her rooms. “There’s more where that came from,” she says with a wicked grin and takes hold of my hand, guiding me behind her as she makes her way to the bedroom.
I haven’t told her this, but the bedroom in the queen’s rooms is the largest in the palace. The first King of Saintland, King Harold, loved his wife, Queen Sarah, so much that he designed her rooms to be the most opulent in the entire palace.
Someday, I’ll let Jessica in on this piece of history. For now, she has enough on her plate without worrying about one day becoming queen.
Jessica strips off her shirt in front of the bed, leaving her bra and panties on, and I let my eyes linger on the lush lines of her curves. My cock throbs painfully against my zipper.
Goddamn it, she is perfection in human form.
I have to have her.
She reaches out a hand and beckons me toward her by crooking one finger seductively, then falls onto her back on the bed.
Jessica stretches out, her head on the plush pillow, her body exposed to me, and her thighs parted, inviting me to strip off the remaining fabric separating her from me.
It takes seconds to get undressed down to my boxers, and only another second to climb up next to her on the bed, lean down close to her, start kissing her collarbone, and then for one second—one second only—to clear my mind. I rest my head down on the pillow beside her, breathing in her skin, feeling her warm body next to me, so whole, so alive, under my touch…
And I fall asleep.
Chapter 31
Jessica
At first, I’m nearly undone by the sweetness of Alec falling so deeply asleep, his head on the pillow next to mine, his body relaxed. I consider waking him up, but only for a second. A man like Alec won’t be thrilled about passing out when he meant to fuck me at least once. He’s just been so exhausted lately, and so much has happened, that it seems cruel to shake him out of the dreamland that he’s tumbled into headfirst. For a long time, I lie still, enjoying the sensation of his body against mine, his hard muscles and soft skin against my side.
Because they’ve thought of everything for the queen’s rooms at Sainthall Palace, there’s a switch hidden in the antique cherry wood of the bedside table that controls all the lights. You can turn them off when you’re done reading at night, and you never have to get out of bed and fumble along the wall to turn them on in the middle of the night. After Alec’s breathing has been steady for about fifteen minutes, I reach over and slide the switches down, plunging the room into darkness.
It’s late enough for me to fall asleep, but ev
en though I close my eyes and run through several deep breaths, my mind is too alert to let go. My body hums with the closeness of my boyfriend—even thinking the word makes my heart pound—and thoughts race through my head.
It’s not long before one crosses my mind that makes my stomach twist with anxiety.
Is this what my entire life is going to be like?
Alec is the crown prince now, and although no one has said it in so many words, it does mean that he won’t be able to have as much of a private life, not least because he has so much to do. One day, he’ll assume the crown.
What’s the scheduling like for that?
Will he always be so exhausted?
We’ve hardly been seeing each other, and it’s killing me. I want to be with him every moment of the day, and my chest aches with the longing. Alec has also brought an intense need to be sexual roaring to the forefront, and being in Sainthall Palace is a far cry from the marathon lovemaking sessions we used to have in New York.
Not that I expected that to last forever, but things have tapered off awfully soon.
And I understand it. I understand that heavy demands are being placed on him. I don’t blame him for being so tired he falls asleep on my pillow after a hot kiss.
I just can’t help but wonder: am I looking ahead at the rest of my life with Alec right now?
All my life, I’ve been spontaneous. All my life, I’ve given myself permission to change everything if something didn’t feel right. It’s that same attitude that brought me to Alec in the first place. It seems so long ago now, that night with the dating app.
Our life together, now that he’s about to be the crown prince, won’t have much room for spontaneity. Somehow, I don’t see it getting much easier. This first week was bound to be difficult, bound to be busy as he gets caught up to speed, but it’s not as if his new responsibilities are going to be lessened after this week. In fact, they’re probably going to be increased.
It hasn’t exactly been an easy adjustment for me, either. It’s still a thrill to be pampered, to be catered to, to be assisted in a way that I never imagined I would be, but with every day that passes, more rules come into play, more boundaries are set for what I wear and the way I need to act and how I spend my time.
