by Willow Rose
I am thinking about the things Chloe and Danny revealed to me earlier in the day. It’s a lot to take in at once, and even knowing the two of them as well as I do, I have to say, I am surprised. I knew Chloe did a lot, but I thought it was just from behind the computer. Danny, I understand better. He has always been a fixer, one who wanted to find a solution to problems and do something, instead of just talking about it. But, still. Risking his career, his beloved job as captain of the fire station like this? I would never have thought he would go that far.
And then he tells me he has a daughter? A daughter he has never met, never been a part of her life. That part surprises me most of all, I think. Danny has always been such a devoted and loving father to Junior, and it was all for him that he stayed with that wife of his.
Snowflake and I stay on the beach till the sun has set over the mainland and then we walk back up to the house. I think about Salter and wonder if he has done his homework. It is so strange to not have him to take care of at the house anymore. Now it’s just my dad and me.
I grab the dish out of the oven and put plates on the table, then go and get my dad. I roll him into the kitchen and hand him the fork. He smiles when he sees what is on his plate. Dinner is his favorite part of the day. He has changed a lot since he was hurt in the fire. It used to be all about his work and career or about him and his new wife Laura. Now it’s all about the little things in life. Eating, being with family, or the joy of simply being able to hold a fork between his fingers.
“You made my favorite,” he says.
“Food is your favorite,” I say, and help him get some fish on the fork. He can now lift it and reach his mouth on his own. I feel like I am seeing improvement every day now. It’s truly amazing. I am very grateful to Jack, his physical therapist, who seems to do wonders with him.
The fork hits his mouth, and a little salmon falls off and lands on his chest, but most of it ends up in his mouth, and he chews with his eyes closed. “Ah. This is heavenly, Mary.”
I chuckle lightly and eat some myself. I glance at Salter’s empty chair while chewing. I wonder what he is eating, if he took a shower, and if he has enough clean underwear.
I feel something on my arm and realize my dad is poking his fork at me.
“He’s fine,” he says. “He’ll be back before you know it.”
“I’m not so sure,” I say, and stuff my mouth with salmon and potatoes, trying hard to make the feeling go away. “I’m scared he’ll like it more at his dad’s than here. I don’t want to be alone, Dad.”
“Bah. You won’t be alone,” he says.
I reach out and touch his hand. “I know. I have you and Snowflake, but he’s my son, Dad. I love him. I want to be with him every day. I want to talk to him when he comes home from school; I want to know every little thing that is going on with him. I don’t want to just see him every other week from Wednesday till Sunday. I want to be a part of his life. A big part. He’s going to grow up without me. I’ll be nothing but a vague memory. I’m losing him, Dad.”
“No! You listen to me, Mary. You won’t lose him. Never. It’s just a phase. A boy needs his mother too. But he needs both of you. And right now you have to accept that he needs his dad. A boy needs his father.”
I sniffle and hold my dad’s hand. I know he is right, but I don’t feel like admitting it. Instead, I wipe my eyes and look at my father. I can’t believe how many years I lost out on of having him in my life. It took almost losing him to understand how important he was to me.
“Just like a girl needs her dad as well,” I say.
“Yes. Just like a girl needs her father.”
Chapter Twenty-Six
April 2016
My father’s words linger with me all night as I toss and turn, wondering if Salter got to bed on time, if he will get up in the morning and not miss the bus, if he will be all right without his mother. I gave him a call after dinner to say goodnight, but he didn’t have time to talk for very long. He, Joey, and Jackie were watching a movie. Inside Out. My favorite movie to watch with Salter. Apparently, Jackie had never seen it.
The next morning, I try to sleep in, but can’t. I get up, walk Snowflake, and then make breakfast for my dad and me. I can’t stop thinking about what my dad said, and I call Chloe to help me with a plan that has started to shape in my mind. Early in the afternoon, I drive to Danny’s house and ring the doorbell.
“Mary?”
“A girl needs her dad too,” I say.
“What?”
“A girl needs her dad just as much as a boy does.”
“Eh…okay…are you all right, Mary?”
“Not really. I miss Salter like crazy since he moved to his dad’s place, and that got me to thinking. It’s never too late, Danny.”
He sighs. I can tell he is confused. “I don’t know what you’re talking about, Mary. And, frankly, I’m not feeling so good. I’m afraid I might get suspended from the station when they find out about my arrest.”
I throw out my arms. “What better time to make amends?”
“What?”
I grab his hand in mine. He looks at me, perplexed.
“Come with me.”
He follows me to the car. “Where are we going?”
“You tell me,” I say, and jump in the car.
He gets in the passenger seat. “What do you mean?”
I start the engine. “You’re the one who knows the address, even though you’ve never been there.”
“What?”
“Yes, Danny. You told me you sent her a check every month. You must know the address.”
Now he is getting it. “No, Mary. I can’t go.”
“Why not? School is out in half an hour and then she’ll be home. We can go there, ring the doorbell, and see her.”
Danny sighs. “I can’t do that!”
“Why not? It’s killing you that you haven’t been there for her; now I’m telling you that you can be there. At least show her you care.”
“Don’t you understand? I can’t just show up out of the blue. I haven’t been there before. I can’t just come barging into their lives like that. It’s not fair to her mother. Besides, I don’t think they even want me in their lives. It’s too late, Mary. Now, let it go, will you, please?”
“How can you say that? It’s never too late. This girl needs a father in her life just as much as anyone else. And you can give her that. It’s never too late. It might be hard; it might be really hard for the both of you, but it is never too late. Ever. The girl deserves a father.”
I fall back in my seat with a sigh. Exhausted from speaking. I feel so frustrated and I want to shake Danny.
“All right,” he says.
My eyes grow big. “Really?”
He nods. “I mean, what’s the worst that can happen? She can tell me she never wants to see me, but at least I will have tried, right?”
“That’s more like it. That’s the Danny I know.”
Danny scoffs, then laughs.
“What?” I ask.
“It’s sweet.”
“What is?”
“You. How you always think you can save the world.”
“Guess I’m not very good at it, huh?”
He puts a hand on my shoulder. “I think you’re doing an excellent job. But it’s an impossible mission, you do realize that, right? To save everyone?”
I look at him and smile. I turn the wheel. “That may be, but that never stopped me before.”
Chapter Twenty-Seven
April 2016
Boxer looks over at his brother sleeping on the couch. He was drunk again when Boxer came home last night, even though he had promised to stay off the booze. Boxer sighs. He doesn’t know what to do about him, how to help him. For years, it has been like this…nothing changes despite all the promises.
But he can’t turn his back on him. He simply can’t. It’s not an option. His brother can’t help himself. He’s sick.
His brother stretches and opens his eyes. He looks at Boxer.
“Hey there,” he says.
At the same time, the girl answers in the chat in Minecraft. Boxer pretends that he is a thirteen year-old boy in the game. Finding them is the easy part. It’s getting them to talk to you that is hard. Actually, it’s not that difficult. It’s all about knowing what young girls like, how they talk, what they want. That and then listening to them, to what they have to say. Unlike their parents, Boxer takes the time to really listen. He keeps a list of their usernames and if they have given him their real names and the different aliases they use on the different social media. Lately, they’re all on this new app called Musical.ly, where they make videos of themselves. Boxer loves this new thing, since he can really get a good look at the girls when they pretend to be singers and dancers in the videos, acting like grown women. If he thinks a girl might be interesting, he sends the videos to his client.
she answers.
“Hey, brother, can I grab one of these?”
Boxer looks up from the screen and spots his brother standing with a bottle of whiskey in his hand. It is fifty years old. Boxer is a collector of fine spirits and has them displayed in the living room. The bottle in his brother’s hand cost him a thousand dollars.
“I’m heading over to a friend’s house for dinner and I don’t want to come empty-handed,” the brother says.
Boxer feels the tension in his entire body as he stares at his brother and the bottle in his hand. He knows his brother isn’t going to any dinner at a friend’s house. He is more likely going to one of those illegal casinos in the back of some club, where he’ll lose more money because he is so drunk from drinking the whiskey on his way there. Boxer knows this will happen; he knows his brother will come to him again and again asking for more money, and Boxer will give it to him. He will welcome him inside and sober him up before it starts all over again.
He knows this will happen because it has been going on for years.
You should just say no. Tell him he can’t take that bottle…that he needs to clean himself up, to get a job and stay off the booze and gambling. By giving in, you’re enabling him. It’s not what is best for him.
“So, can I?”
Boxer sighs as his gaze meets his brother’s and he is reminded of how they looked at him back then. Back when everything changed.
“Sure. Have fun.”
His brother smiles. “Thanks bro. Cheers.”
Boxer doesn’t say anything. He feels like screaming, but is holding it back. His eyes return to the screen.
Chapter Twenty-Eight
April 2016
“I’ve changed my mind.”
Danny turns and looks at me. I ignore him. We’re sitting in the car and I have just parked it in front of a very small house on Barlow Avenue. We’re still in Cocoa Beach, but on the border to Cape Canaveral. The kids around here go to Capeview Elementary and I don’t know many here. I do know it is an area my parents always told me to stay away from, where lots of surf bums and drug addicts live because it is cheap. It seems that nothing much has changed.
The houses are more like small beach-shacks. This one is one of the nicer ones, though. With a small porch out front and a rocking chair. A child’s bike is leaning against the porch. Everything looks neat compared to the neighboring houses.
I open my door and get out. I walk to Danny’s side and open his. “Come on.”
He gets out with a deep sigh. “All right. Let’s do this.”
I am right behind Danny when he rings the doorbell. My heart is throbbing in my chest, I am hoping and praying that this will go well. If Danny doesn’t somehow connect with his daughter now, then he might regret it for the rest of his life. But I also know he is right to be nervous, because there is no telling how she will react to seeing him, or how her mother will react to him showing up like this.
Right now, I just hope they’re home.
There’s a sound behind the door and it opens. A woman appears behind the screen door.
“Yes?”
“Maria?” Danny asks. He sounds surprised.
“Who wants to know?” the woman asks.
“It’s me,” Danny says. His voice is shaking. It sounds strange as he speaks his name. “Danny.”
“What do you want, Danny?”
He shakes his head. “You’re not Maria,” he says.
She coughs. “No, I’m her mother, what’s it to you?”
“I’m sorry,” Danny says. “You just look so much alike.”
“Well I was young when I had her; what do you want?”
“Is Maria around?” he asks.
“Nope. She moved about six months ago.”
“Moved? But…” Danny looks at me for answers, then back at the woman behind the screen door.
“Listen. I don’t have all day,” the woman says.
“Wait. This is important,” he says. “You have to listen to me. I have to talk to her. I am…I am Tara’s dad.”
The expression on the woman’s face changes drastically. “Well then, we certainly have nothing to talk about.”
She is about to close the door, but Danny is fast. He opens the screen door and puts a foot in before she can close it.
“I’ve got to know where they moved to,” he says.
“I’ve got a gun in here,” she says angrily.
“I’m not going to hurt you. I just need you to give me her new address,” Danny says.
“I don’t have it,” the woman says.
“What do you mean you don’t have it?” Danny is getting angry now. He pushes the door open and walks inside. The woman backs up into her living room. I follow, and soon we’re all in her house.
“You tell me where she and my daughter are right now,” Danny says, pointing a finger at her.
“I told you. I don’t know,” the woman whimpers. “I came here because…well, her father died last Christmas. I hadn’t seen her in ten years, not since…the pregnancy. Her father…he was so mad that he never wanted to see her or let me see her again. So when he died, I decided I would go see her, see my granddaughter. I had the address from all the letters she sent me, the ones with pictures of Tara in them, but all I found was this empty house. None of the neighbors knew where she was. I decided to wait for her here, but she never came back.”
“Wait. You have been living here since December and she hasn’t come back in all that time?” I ask.
The woman nods. “I have no idea where she can be. The neighbor gave me her cell number, but it doesn’t seem to work. I don’t know where she is. That is the honest truth.”
“Did you file a missing persons report?” I ask.
She shakes her head.
“Why not?” asks Danny.
The woman shrugs. “For all I know, she might have run off with some man. Maria is flaky that way.”
“Yet you stayed in the house. Why?” I ask.
“In case she comes back,” she says.
“I don’t believe you,” Danny says. “Wait. I have been paying child support all this time. Six months, you say? She’s been gone for six months? Yet my checks have been cashed. You cashed them, didn’t you? You’re living here on my money, on the money that was meant to support my child?”
“I couldn’t just leave it there in the mailbox, now could I?”
“And because you look like your daughter, you could cash the checks, am I right? Danny asks. “I bet you even used some of her ID.”
The mother looks away.
“Didn’t you?” Danny asks angrily.
The mother jumps. She’s scared of Danny. “I used her passport. I found it in the drawer in her bedroom.”
“Wait a minute. Something is wrong here,” I say. “Why would she leave without her passport? Didn’t you ever stop to wonder about that?”
The woman shrugs. The place smells heavily of smoke and old wet cigarettes. Danny is mad now. He walks to the woman and grabs her by the collar. He is shaking her back and forth.
“Stop, Danny,” I yell.
“How the hell can anyone be this stupid!” he yells to her face. “How can anyone act this selfish!”
I feel like things are getting a little out of control now. I don’t know how far Danny will go. He did, after all, just kill someone recently. Trying to save someone else, a young girl, yes, but still. I am scared that he has snapped, that he might hurt this woman and I can’t do anything about it.
“Danny!” I say.
He finally looks at me.
“Put her down.”
Realizing what he is up to, he finally lets go of her. She sinks into the couch.
“I am sorry about that,” I say. I look into her eyes. She is visibly scared of Danny, which could work to our advantage. “Now, do you mind if we take a look around the house?”
The woman opens her mouth as if to speak, but then realizes that we could report her to the police for fraud, and stops herself.
“Go ahead,” she says.
Chapter Twenty-Nine
April 1975
They pay their last money to a man who claims he can get them onboard one of the fishing boats. Hundreds of others, maybe even thousands have the same idea, so they have to act fast.
Bao is running across the harbor towards the ships, Danh and Long try to keep up with him. Bao has the note that shows they have paid. If they lose sight of him, they might not make it on the boat.
