by Lois Richer
“Okay.” Rick rose, sad that their few moments alone together were over but also somehow relieved that they’d soon be with other people. He needed to get his thoughts in order, to remember the vows he’d made to God and to focus on God’s priorities.
He pushed through the snow in silence, following the trail their earlier tracks had made. He focused on what he saw. Frosted crests of snow peaked among wild grasses that had pushed through wind-polished hillocks of white.
“It’s very serene, isn’t it?” she said in a hushed voice.
“Yes.” Rick wished he felt that serenity inside. Instead, he felt off-kilter and confused. He waited until they were almost back to Lives, then he turned to face Cassie.
“Is something wrong?” Cassie asked, a question on her face.
Rick had been going to say something about the two of them, but suddenly he couldn’t find the words. Anyway, he didn’t want to break the connection he’d felt. Not yet.
“I wanted to ask about Noah,” he said instead. “I’m guessing you haven’t made much progress?” He waited for the shake of her head. “He’s been very quiet at choir, too. I thought he might stop coming, but he hasn’t.”
“I’m glad.”
“Me, too. He seems to enjoy singing,” Rick murmured. “I wish I could give him more attention, but I have my hands full with directing the boys and accompanying them on guitar.”
“I thought Lucy was playing piano.” Cassie undid her snowshoes.
“The arthritis in her hands makes it too difficult for her. Playing on Sundays is the most she can manage.” Rick met her gaze when she looked up at him, but he had to look away. Those few moments in the snow kept intruding.
“I suppose I could help, if I’m not called in for a shift,” Cassie offered hesitantly.
“We’ll gladly take any and all help,” he said. “What would you like to do?”
Cassie looked at him as if he’d grown two heads.
“Play,” she said. “I thought you wanted a pianist.”
“You play the piano?” He grinned. “I wish I’d known that a couple of weeks ago.”
“The only thing is, I wonder how Noah will react,” she said. “What if my being there makes his stuttering worse?”
“That won’t be an issue,” Rick assured her as he stepped out of his snowshoes. “Noah doesn’t stutter when he sings.”
“At all? I mean he didn’t the day I was there, but I thought that was an exception.” Cassie’s face lit up.
“His voice doesn’t falter on a single note.”
“Maybe this is one area where he could shine,” Cassie said.
“That’s what I’m thinking.” Rick walked with her toward the house.
“Can I ask you something?” Cassie pulled her hands from her mitts and blew on them to warm them.
“Anything. My life is an open book.” Curious to hear her question, he waited.
“Why do you spend so much time at Lives? Are you hoping your work here will help you get a promotion to a better church?”
Rick bristled at the insinuation he thought he heard in Cassie’s words, then decided her question was legitimate, given her past history with those who’d called themselves Christians. He looked into her eyes and spoke from his heart.
“I’m not interested in padding my bio, Cassie. I try to help wherever I can because that’s what I promised God I’d do.” He shook his head at the cascading memories. “I’ve made a lot of mistakes, hurt a lot of people. If one kid avoids the same mistakes and the repercussions because of me, then maybe I’ll have repaid a bit of the debt I owe God.”
She studied him for a long time, her gaze searching, questioning. Finally, she nodded and led the way inside.
As Rick followed, an inner voice reminded him he’d also promised God that he would give up his yearning for love and a family of his own. And yet, every day he was getting more entangled with lovely Cassie Crockett and her son.
Worse than that, Rick still hadn’t been completely honest about his past with her father. He hadn’t told her that he was the reason her father hadn’t been in a position to offer her any financial help when Eric died.
For a moment, the thought of everything Rick had cost Cassie and Noah was almost more than he could bear.
Chapter Seven
The whirling snowstorm outdoors matched the blizzard of confusion inside Cassie’s soul. This crazy attraction to Rick Salinger muddled her thinking. One moment she could hardly wait to see him, the next she was desperate to avoid him.
“Mom? C-can we h-have some m-more p-popcorn, p-please?” Noah held out the massive bowl she’d filled only a few moments ago. At least, that’s what it seemed like.
“Sure. Why don’t you make it?” She watched as he measured oil and popcorn kernels, then slid the pot back and forth over the stove. The mouthwatering aroma of warm popcorn quickly filled the room. “Are you okay?” she asked, wishing he’d talk to her.
“I’m s-sick of this s-stupid cast.” Noah flicked off the switch on the stove, but couldn’t lift the pot to empty it. He stood back while Cassie did that. “I wonder if Rick will cancel.”
“Cancel?” She frowned. “Cancel what?” After two consecutive night shifts at the hospital, her mind felt jumbled as her body took its time readjusting to regular hours.
“He s-said he was g-going to come t-tonight, with h-his guitar, so we c-could have a s-sing-along.” Noah peered out the window. “Maybe h-he won’t make i-it in this.”
“Do you like singing?” She pretended nonchalance, nibbling on a handful of popcorn while Noah melted butter.
“Yeah. The c-choir is g-great.” Noah’s face beamed with enthusiasm. Cassie was astounded. She couldn’t remember the last time she’d seen him look so happy.
“Rick asked me to accompany the choir because Lucy’s struggling with the music. Will that bother you?” Cassie asked.
“Nah. Mrs. Clow m-makes lots of m-mistakes.” In the midst of pouring melted butter over the popcorn, Noah’s head lifted. “What’s th-that?” He dropped the butter dish and raced toward a window. “It’s R-Rick and s-someone else,” he said. “Mr. S-Stonechild, I th-think. They’re rriding a s-snowmobile.”
Cassie heard Laurel going to the door and hid a smile as she imagined her friend’s reaction to seeing Teddy Stonechild again. The couple never seemed to hit it off, though they snuck looks at each other whenever they were in the same room. Cassie wondered if, in spite of their bickering, they were secretly attracted to each other.
Rick’s voice echoed down the hallway.
There it went again, her silly thumping heart almost pounding out of her chest. Cassie was tempted to rush upstairs in an attempt to avoid him, but that would be childish.
Besides, she wanted to see him again.
“You keeping this popcorn for yourself?” Rick asked from behind her, laughter in his deep rich tone.
“That’s Noah’s. You’ll have to ask him.” Her skin prickled at his nearness but she turned and faced him, anyway, hoping her face didn’t give her away.
“Can I share your popcorn, Noah?” Rick grinned.
“S-sure.” Noah’s face lost its bored expression as he handed Rick a bowl.
“Thanks.” Rick served himself fully one-third of the popcorn they’d just made. He winked at Cassie over his shoulder. “I like the buttered stuff best.”
“So do I.” Noah stared at the mostly unbuttered remains.
“I’ll melt more,” Cassie told him, going to the stove. “Rick, I’m surprised you got here in this storm.”
“This isn’t a storm. This is a little dustup.” He laughed out loud. “At least that’s Teddy’s take. The man is fearless.”
“W-was it f-fun, coming h-here?” Noah asked.
Cassie glanced at Rick. She didn’t want Rick to encourage her son to take risks.
Noah, she suddenly realized, was beginning to look up to Rick. Too much?
Rick’s green eyes locked with hers in understanding. Then
he turned to Noah.
“Not exactly fun, Noah,” he said in a sober tone. “But we’re both fairly experienced on this terrain and we always note our landmarks. I’m not sure we’ll be able to go back tonight, though. The wind has kicked up a lot since we left.”
“You could have canceled,” she said.
“I promised the kids I’d be here and I keep my promises.” Time seemed to freeze as Rick’s gaze clung to hers.
In a flash Cassie recalled every instant of those moments in the snow when his arms had wrapped around her and she’d felt his heart race. His green-eyed stare told her he’d been as affected by the encounter as she had. While that flattered her ego, it also terrified her. She didn’t want to be under the influence of attraction. Not ever again.
“Mom, you’re g-going to burn the b-butter.”
She blinked and found Noah staring at her. “Sorry. Here,” she said, pouring it on his popcorn.
“Your mom is probably tired from her hospital shifts,” Rick said. “Why don’t we invite her to join us in singing.”
“N-no w-way.” Noah shook his head vehemently.
“Why not?” Rick frowned, clearly bothered by his abrupt refusal. “Your mom deserves to have some fun. She works hard and—”
“She c-can’t s-sing,” Noah told him. “Th-they even k-kicked her off the ch-church choir.”
“Noah!” Cassie’s cheeks burned. She was totally embarrassed by Rick’s laughter. “Let’s hear if you do better,” she snapped before scooping up the bowl of popcorn and going into the big family room.
“Noah, my man, you have to be more careful about the lady’s feelings,” Rick whispered just loud enough for her to hear.
Cassie ignored their smothered laughter and handed the bowl to Michael. “Help yourself,” she ordered, “and pass it to the others. Rick’s already eaten his share and Noah doesn’t want anymore.”
“Hey!” Noah protested. “N-not t-true.”
Cassie was glad for the clamor that followed Rick’s entrance. While the boys high-fived him, she sat in a corner chair and waited for her face to cool off. But she couldn’t keep her eyes off the handsome preacher, especially when he pulled out the ukulele he’d brought in his backpack and began coaxing music from it.
How could one man be so blessed? Rick had good looks, the most gentle, giving spirit she’d ever known and an unbelievable ability to play and sing.
Sometimes, Cassie decided, life was not fair. How was she supposed to stay away from a man like Rick?
As the boys sat in a circle around Rick, Cassie could only watch, astounded by the way he used his musical gift to reach each boy. Most of them hadn’t sung before but Laurel had coaxed them to join the choir. Now they didn’t even suspect Rick was teaching them harmony as he guided them through a series of choruses, encouraging one boy to take the lead line here and another there. Even the most reluctant couldn’t help joining in on the fun.
Now, for the first time, Cassie was truly grateful her parents had insisted she take piano lessons. Those years of lessons gave her the ability to realize the extent of Rick’s talent. This was a man whose music poured from his heart and his soul.
Rick even managed to draw Laurel and Teddy into the singing. Without pause he adapted and arranged songs to suit everyone. Watching him, understanding flooded her. Rick’s ability to engage everyone around him lay in his openness with them. He accepted everyone as they were—warts and all. Despite opposition, he kept right on doing what he thought was right. Cassie envied him that quality—especially because she didn’t have it.
Was that why Noah admired him so much? Because Rick was strong and focused? Was that why she admired Rick? Because his faith didn’t wobble as hers did? Because he knew what he believed and he trusted God no matter what?
It wasn’t that she didn’t want to trust God. But—there was always that “but” of fear that He’d abandon her. That’s what she couldn’t shake.
“It’s getting late, guys. I think Laurel would like us to conclude our sing-along.” Rick strummed a slower, quieter tune. “How about if we sing this one like a prayer of thanks to God for giving us His son as a token of His great love for us.”
He played the first chord. As one, the boys’ voices rose in a sweet offering of praise. Cassie’s heart cracked as the young voices soared and filled the room. She’d once been like that, devoted to God, determined to serve Him no matter what.
Rick caught her eye and smiled. His face shone as his voice blended with the boys’ in a mellow tenor. Sometimes he dipped into harmony. At others his voice spiraled with the melody, worshipping. His eyes closed as the last voice died away into hushed silence until nothing but the whine of the wind outside was audible.
“Thank You, God, for these boys, for Lives Under Construction and for Your love. We ask you for a restful sleep and bright hope for tomorrow. In Jesus’ name. Amen.” Rick opened his eyes and smiled at each boy. “Good night, guys.”
The reverence of the evening seemed to linger as the boys expressed their thanks then filed out. Laurel hurried to find quilts for Teddy and Rick, claiming there was no way they could get back to town with the almost whiteout conditions that now whirled outside. Teddy left to check that everything was okay outside, leaving Cassie alone with Rick.
“I never fully appreciated what an amazing talent you have,” she said sincerely.
“It’s a sweet time with God when hearts are in harmony.” He put away his ukulele then sat down beside her and studied her. “You look pensive.”
Cassie studied the lean lines of his face, the heart-stopping splendor of his emerald eyes and the way his smile revealed his inner joy. She decided this wasn’t the moment.
“Come on, Cassie. You can tell me anything. I’m a minister, remember? I’ve heard it all.” His hand closed around hers and gave it a squeeze. “What’s wrong?”
“I’m concerned about Noah,” she said, easing her hand from his as she tried to quell the tremors his touch aroused.
“We all are,” he agreed.
“This is something different. Something to do with you.” With Rick studying her so intently, Cassie hated saying the words, but the facts hadn’t changed. “Noah’s getting very attached to you. His face when he realized you’d arrived—” She gulped, shook her head. “I don’t want him hurt, Rick.”
“I’m not going to hurt Noah, Cassie.” Rick looked stunned as he said the words, as if what she was concerned about was a complete impossibility.
“You won’t be able to help it,” she shot back, angry that her tears were so near the surface. “You’ll leave, move on to something better, as you should. You have your life to live. But Noah.” She stopped, swallowed, then continued. “I believe Noah will be devastated when you go.”
“I’m not leaving, Cassie,” Rick insisted.
“Not yet,” she responded.
“Well, I won’t say not ever because none of us knows the future. But as far as I know, I am staying here in Churchill.” He ducked his head so he could peer into her eyes. “Is this wishful thinking on your part?”
There was a hint of humor in his question but Cassie ignored it. She was deadly serious. “Noah’s beginning to look up to you, Rick. He talks about what you say all the time. I can hear in his voice that he’s starting to admire you as he hasn’t admired anyone since—”
“Eric. Who left him. I get it, Cassie. But I am not his father and I don’t abandon people.” Rick’s forehead furrowed suddenly. “Is this your way of asking me to back off from trying to help Noah?”
“No!” She shook her head, surprised by how little she wanted Rick to leave them alone. “Noah needs you in his life.”
She needed to make him understand. “It’s just that working here, seeing the problems these boys have as a result of dysfunctional homes, has made me even more aware of my responsibility to Noah and of how quickly he could become attached to you.”
Rick’s hand covered hers, warm and protective. “You’re a great mot
her, Cassie. I promise I’m not just going to disappear on Noah. You have my word.”
“Thank you.” Cassie swallowed. She wanted to trust him, wanted to believe in him so badly. But vestiges of the past held her like chains.
“You have to trust someone sometime, Cassie. Trust me. I won’t let you down.”
She opened her mouth to respond but a loud wail, followed by Noah’s bellow, interrupted.
“M-mom! It’s M-Michael!”
Cassie rose and raced out of the room. Michael was on the floor of the room he shared with Noah, his body contorted in a grand mal seizure. Her heart sank at the realization that this seizure was far stronger than any Michael had suffered before. She grabbed a washcloth off a nearby chair, rolled it up and placed it between his teeth to protect his tongue, then turned his head to one side. When she realized Rick was behind her, she motioned him to kneel by the boy’s head.
“Stay here and keep him from hurting himself. I have to get his anticonvulsant.” She ran down the hall to her medicine cabinet, loaded a syringe and hurried back. Kneeling, she plunged the needle in, but Michael didn’t seem to respond. “Rick, get Laurel.”
“I’m here,” her friend said. “What do you need?”
“Alert the air ambulance. I want Michael airlifted out to Winnipeg.” Cassie grabbed a blanket from the bed and draped it over him to keep him warm. “He needs to see a specialist as soon as possible. Make sure they know they need a nurse on board. If they can’t get anyone, I’ll go with him.”
Laurel nodded and hurried away. Cassie looked at Rick.
“Tell me what you need,” he said. His eyes met hers.
“Will you take Noah out of here and get him set up in a different room for tonight?”
Rick touched her shoulder. “Don’t worry about anything else, Cassie. Just help Michael.”
“I don’t think I can do any more for him,” she murmured sadly.
“God can. Trust Him, Cassie. I’ll be right back.” Rick squeezed her hand then left, closing the door behind him.
Trust God. Dare she? What if He failed her?
