"Alana, I have to tell you something, please don't be hurt by this." I waited until we were back in our driveway before bringing it up.
"What is it?" She turned that beautiful face to look up at me. So beautiful I couldn’t resist reaching out and trailing my finger down her soft cheek. Please don't let me put out that beautiful fire in her eyes.
"There's no easy way to say this so I'm just gonna come right out and say it. Usually I wouldn't discuss this with you, but since this is all new to you, I felt I should warn you." Just get it over with already Cody fuck.
"Okay, I'm listening." She turned in her seat to face me.
"I will be spending the night with one of the others tonight." I held my breath waiting for the explosion. My wildflower has proven that she can be very volatile when riled. I saw it in her eyes even as she tried to battle it back. Please don’t cry. If she cried there’s no way I could do this tonight. As wrong as it maybe I’m willing to give her all the time she needs to get use to the idea.
"I think I want to go inside now." Fuck, she sounded like a hurt little girl.
"Alana." I tried to stop her getting out of the car.
"Cody please, I just need to be alone right now. We talked about this already right it's not like I didn't know this was coming. I guess I'll see you in the morning then." She climbed out of the car and ran into the house. I sat there for a while longer feeling like shit and contemplating my next move. When I had my emotions back under control I walked into the house. They were both waiting for me and for some reason that pissed me the fuck off. I caught the gleam in Sharon's eyes and knew that she must've witnessed Wildflowers' discomfort.
"Something amuses you Sharon?"
"Oh no, we were just wondering which of us you were taking to your bed tonight?" So confident aren't you? I grabbed Arlene's hand and headed for her room. Because I had gone with Alana I had said good night to my children before we left so I didn't have that as an excuse to buy more time. As I closed her door behind us my duty felt like a noose around my neck for the first time. I felt cold at the thought of touching her, not because I found her repulsive or even the act. I'm no hypocrite, this is my life the only one I know; the only one I would have if given a choice. But I felt the pain for her, for what this night was doing to her.
When Arlene laid her head on my chest I closed my eyes and begged for the answers, even as my arms went around her pulling her close.
Chapter 8
Alana
Breathe Alana, fucking breathe. My whole body was shaking like a leaf. I wasn't even angry. Anger isn't exactly what I’d call what I was feeling. I had no name for this new emotion whatever it was. I had spoken to mom earlier in the day and she’d given me one piece of advice that I was going to hold onto. I grabbed the half bottle of merlot I had filched from downstairs, changed into my boy shorts and a tank and cranked up my iPod. "Yellow diamonds in the light and we're standing side by side.”
“Yeah that's my shit right there."
"We found love in a hopeless place, we found love in a hopeless place." I sang and cried and danced myself into exhaustion. When I looked at the clock again it was four in the morning. Good whatever was happening should be over by now; unless he was the same with her as he was with me. Fuck, just let me go to sleep. Sleep would take me away from this pain. I was proud that I had foregone the wine. I'd be damned if I let this shit turn me into an alcoholic. Mom was right though, when I focused only on my feelings I was able to deal to a certain extent. This was my fucking life now. No one ever said I would be perfect, but fuck this shit hurt.
He opened my door at eight in the morning. I threw the wine bottle at his head. "Get the fuck out."
Cody
"Alana what the hell do you think you're doing?"
"This is my room I don't want you here, I'm not ready to look at your fucking face right now." She ran into the bathroom and slammed the door. That's it. I didn't think of my actions, I just kicked the door in. "Don't you ever close a door against me again. Now come out here and talk to me." I can't believe she actually threw that bottle at my head, lucky for me I have great reflexes. She set her face mutinously so I knew I had a fight on my hands. I'd left Arlene's bed as soon as was decently possible. She had no reason to complain about my performance of the night before so there was no reason for her to suspect the hell I went through, I hoped this got better soon. I hated feeling like this, like I’d done something wrong.
I'd gone to my room and showered before coming to her. I needed to see her to make sure she was okay, I guess not. "You swore to me that you could do this." I pulled her back into the bedroom and over to her sitting room. There was no way I could leave for work with things like this. Fuck her whole body was shaking and there were tear tracks on her face. I’d done that I’d put that look in her eyes. Why did this have to be so hard? Wasn’t love supposed to be easy? “Alana you said you understood, that you could do this with me.” It didn’t matter because I was never letting her go now no matter what. if that makes me a selfish bastard then so be it. She’s mine she’s always been mine and mine she’ll stay.
"I can I am, just in my own way. I hate your fucking guts right now so I don't want to look at you. That's the truth of my feelings. Or would you rather I pretend that it's okay that you fucked her?" She took a swing at me as fresh tears fell. She fucking gutted me with her tears.
I pulled her into my lap. "Stop it, I don't want you to pretend anything, you just can't react this way every time I have to be with one of my other wives."
"Who said I was gonna do it every time? I'm doing it now because it's how I feel now."
"You hate me?"
"Yes I fucking hate you?" Did she realize that she was screaming and crying and vowing her hatred for me while she clutched me like a drowning man on driftwood? Her tears were destroying what little control I had left. I had to make a swift decision. There was no way I could leave her feeling like this all day while I went on about my day.
I slipped my shoes off and struggled out of my jacket. The office could do without me for a day. I lead her over to the bed and laid with her over the covers while she cried out her rage. Sometimes she pounded my chest, other times she clung to me. I let her get it all out. Just held her and rocked her like I did the little ones when they were hurt. There was nothing I could do to ease her pain short of changing who I am and that wasn't an option.
"I'm not letting you go ever wildflower. I can't, I wish I was strong enough to give you your freedom but I'm not. You're mine you're all mine. I can't deny them any more than I can deny you. This does not mean I love you any less, I thought you understood that." I held her as close as possible while her tears eased and her little body stopped shaking.
"Theory and practice are two different things asshole. It's one thing to think about something happening and quite another to know that it did." She glared at me after throwing some more choice words at my head. At least she’d stopped looking at me like I’d punched her or something.
"Stop swearing at me. I will make concessions for your youth and the fact that this is new, but don't push me too far Alana. You knew all these things you were prepared for them. I gave you the choice and you chose me and our way of life, there's no going back now." I pulled her closer still and there was a little wrestling match while she tried evading me before I over powered her and kept her in my arms.. I rubbed her back until she quieted down.
Alana
He just didn't get it. This was my way of getting the anger and darkness out. Of course I knew he was eventually going to have to sleep with one of his skanks. But where was it written that just because I had to accept something that meant I had to like it? Whoever liked this shit? Okay that's not fair I'm sure they were some who had no problem with it, but I wasn't one of them. I was here because what I felt for him was too strong to walk away from.
"Did you fuck her?" I seriously wanted to make him bleed in that moment.
"Alana stop it, I'm not discussing that w
ith you."
"Of course you did, you're a pig." I tried to bean his ass again. Then before I knew it I was kissing him and biting and scratching and kicking. I lost my fucking shit. Then that crying shit started again. I didn’t miss the way he held me and tried to soothe me. That went a long way to appeasing some of my anger. If he’d acted like this was his right I would probably have found a way to maim his ass. I knew it was the way my life was going to be from now on. But fuck this is hard.
Needless to say we spent the day with my drama. He never left my side that whole time. He held me while I cried, wiped my tears as they fell and kissed me when I needed it. Okay one crisis over! Hey, that wasn't so bad. I thought for sure there would be bloodshed, preferably the skank's but whatever.
Now that my meltdown was over I felt guilty. What the fuck! Why should I feel guilty? Because you probably made him feel like shit for doing what he's supposed to. Mom was right about this shit too, she knew I would lose it. According to her any woman would, let alone an eighteen-year old innocent like myself.
"I love you my Alana, no matter what, you believe me?" I nodded against his chest. I wasn't one hundred percent there yet but I would work on it. I know one thing, if whichever one of them he fucked smirked at me I’m gonna knock the bitch's teeth clean out her fucking head. I liked that he sought only to comfort me and didn't try to jump me, but uh, would it be really bad if I admitted that I was horny as fuck?
Chapter 9
Cody
I felt the moment the air changed, when a new kind of tension entered her slight frame, and that look in her eyes went from sadness to heat. She needed me, needed the connection to reinforce her security, her place in my life in my heart. She needed me to prove that I loved her.
When her lips met mine I didn't resist, I opened for her as I drew her body over mine. She was ravenous, almost desperate in her need. I tried calming her by running my hands gently up and down her back, but she paid no heed to my tenderness. It wasn't tenderness she sought. She fought with the buttons on my shirt, sending a few of them flying across the room in her haste. She bit my bared chest, marking me and I hissed at the slight pleasure pain. She licked the abused area, kissing it better, before raining kisses down my chest to where my pants were buckled.
Her hands were sure and steady when she released me from the confines of my pants and into her mouth. So good, but no, this was about her not me. "No little love let me love you." I pulled her away, turning her onto her back so that I could pay homage to her the way I knew she needed. I kissed the place where her heart laid while holding her breast captive in the palm of my hand.
"I love you my Alana. Wildflower." I kissed her with all the love and devotion I felt inside for her, softly, sweetly and deeply. She clutched at me trying to draw me into her body, not giving me a chance to play with her body as I longed to. I understood her hunger, her need to own me once more. In understanding I entered her slowly while gazing lovingly into her weeping eyes.
I caught both her hands in mine, moving them above her head on the bed, our bodies gliding together. Her legs opening that much wider to accept me as I pulled almost all the way out of her warmth, stroking back in to the hilt. Her eyes were soon glazed over, her breathing hitched and I felt her clench around me. I placed a soft kiss where her jaw met her ear and tasted the tears that had escaped her eyes.
"Oh fuck baby don't do that." She’s killing me.
"No, no, it's okay, I'm okay it's beautiful." Now she was the one soothing me, offering comfort. Could I trust that they were tears of joy? Whatever they were I would make this up to her. As much as I could I will ease her hurt. When I came it was a renewal. Seems I needed to reinforce that bond as well.
We had endured her first sharing experience. In all honesty it could've gone much worst. I could've lost her. "I will make you happy my wildflower, just give me the chance and I will, I promise. Just do me this one favor please. For the next little while until you settle in, please just concentrate on you and I, on what we are to each other. Focus only on what I do when I'm with you, how I am with you, no one else, nothing else. Can you do that for me?" She looked up at me, our bodies still connected, my softening flesh refusing to leave her.
“I'll try."
"Thank you, that's all I ask." I kissed her softly once more as I moved to lie beside her. Drawing her into my arms. We were fine we'll be okay. I’ll make sure of it.
Alana
Wow, that's all I can say, is wow. I totally lost my shit this morning. I had no idea I was gonna react that way. I mean I knew it would bother the hell out of me, but I was sure I could keep my shit together. After I'd fallen asleep believe it or not my dreams had been peaceful. It was just seeing him looking so normal, like he hadn't torn my fucking heart to shreds that drove me mad.
We're okay now though, he saw to that. I don't feel so desperately alone anymore, that gnawing pain in my heart had lessened. It's already three in the afternoon, we've been shut away in my room all this time just fucking or talking. I know he would have to emerge eventually after all he had a family outside those doors. I hated the thought of leaving our little haven having to face the sneers and snippy remarks but...I love my husband. I really really love this man and I'm not willing to give him up. I will take all that he has to give and if I have to share him then I will make every moment that is mine count.
Those bitches better not even think about infringing on my shit. "We should probably go see what's going on out there." Let's not give the wicked witches of Eastwick any more plotting time. Who knows what they were plotting since he had been sequestered with me all day? Even skipping work.
We'd just showered together, where he'd taken me from behind while the water pounded down on us, hmm. It seemed we couldn't get enough of each other. And the way he’d loved me all day I knew my man still wanted it. I think maybe that had been one of my fears the night before. What if things changed between him and I? I guess that’s the way they feel about the whole situation too. But the thing is they’ve had years to get used to this shit, it’s all new to me. Oh well, shit’s gonna be what it’s gonna be.
Whichever one of those skanks he'd fucked the night before I'm sure I had wiped that shit out of his mind though. I'm not bitter or anything. He playfully pulled at my towel and I laughingly evaded his roaming hands. He was insatiable.
"Quit it, haven't you had enough?" See, the man is all over my shit.
"What! You're complaining?"
"No, I just thought you might want to go down there and hang with the others." See I could be a big girl, now that I had drained his ass.
"You're ready for that love?" He had such a look of worry on his face. Had I really looked that messed up earlier? He’s looking at me as if he expects me to crack any minute. Shit you better get your shit together girl. I put on my widest smile to ease his fears.
"As I'll ever be I guess. I'm gonna have to do it some time you know, see you in your element. Might as well do it now, get it all over with. Just in case I lose my shit again." I said it jokingly but we both knew it was a possibility. He cornered me, pulling me into his arms and kissing me, one of his heart melting kisses that makes my toes curl.
"You won't, I won't let you. Just remember that I love you no matter what, nothing and no one can ever change that."
"But you love them too." Oh painful, just saying that shit hurt. Fuck. He took a long time in answering. "I love you more." He said while looking into my eyes. I know he wasn't supposed to tell me that, I also knew why he did. I appreciated it, more than words can say. He kissed me, our towels dropped. Oh well. "One more wildflower."
"One more."
Alana
I geared myself up for whatever was coming next. I had no doubt that they were going to be pissed, especially Miss. Sharon. He’d been with me al day after all and they were already upset over the time we spent together. I'm guessing they expected me to take a back seat to them or some shit, because I was the newbie. Plus my age probably had them fo
oled into thinking that I would be an easy mark.
Whatever bitches, this shit was hard enough to deal with without that added headache. I hadn't had a chance to call mom all day to pick her brain, what with Cody sticking close to me. He had gone to his room to change but I didn't have enough time for a chat. I was meeting him back here in ten minutes.
I decided to fuck with the sisters Grimm heads. I'm a teenager after all and a pampered Cali princess at that. There’s no way I’m giving up my style for this shit. Uh uh, Alana is Alana and will always be.
I chose a pair of short white shorts that hugged my ass and made my legs look a mile long. It would serve the added purpose of driving my man crazy. Let him keep his eyes and his hands off of me. I snickered to myself as I added my belly chain with the bells. Which could be seen on the exposed flesh between my halter-top and shorts. I threw on a pair of high-heeled thong sandals, added some cherry gloss to my lips and waited to blow his mind. My heart raced when I heard him coming back to the room to get me. Wasn’t it sweet that he didn’t want me to face the music alone?
"Shit Alana, you trying to kill your old husband?" He clutched at his heart as his eyes ate me up.
"Old my ass, you weren't old when you were tearing it up." I laughed when he growled.
"That mouth of yours is gonna get you into trouble. You sure you don't want to stay up here?" He made a playful grab for me and I evaded his hands with a playful swat.
"No you fiend, let's go." Of course he stole one last kiss and copped a feel before we left.
I was smiling from ear to ear because he's holding my hand as we walk down the stairs. Little Kate and Crystal saw us first and run towards their father. He bent down and grabbed them both up one on each arm. "Hello my beautiful girls, how have your day been?" He really loves his girls. I can tell just by the way his eyes light up when he's around them.
The Third Wife Page 5
