She stared at the stupid note and told herself it wasn’t a big deal. It wasn’t like he’d moved out of state. He’d only gone downstairs. It shouldn’t bother her that when he’d left the bathroom last night, he’d gone and slept on the couch. It was his place. He could sleep wherever he chose.
But it did bother her. She wasn’t an idiot. He’d slept with her, and now he was done with her. She crumpled the note and tossed it in the trash before she went to get ready.
She showered and then dug through the bag she was living out of for the cutest outfit she could find. As she did, it struck her that he’d never even offered her the loan of a drawer. She dug her stuff out of a bag each day while he looked on. That might have been a good thing to have pondered last night before she’d slept with him.
She pushed away the thought of coveted drawers in off-limit bureaus as she continued to try and find something suitable to wear. He might be discarding her but damn if she wouldn’t try and make him regret it.
She finished getting ready and stopped to stare at herself in the mirror and wondered if maybe she was overreacting. So he slept on the couch? Was it that big of a deal? Maybe he didn’t like sleeping next to someone. He’d given her a place to live, and a job to earn money at, so that she didn’t feel like she was a beggar. That showed caring. Maybe all he needed a little time.
Either way, she didn’t call him when she was ready to go downstairs. She knew this place was safeguarded up to the sidewalk. How was she planning on moving out if she was going to be too scared to walk out the door by herself?
She grabbed her phone and her purse and stiffened her spine. A couple of minutes later she walked into Dead Ink, determined to be pleasant, no matter what. She might feel like a discarded ragdoll but she refused to act like one.
***
Lars glanced up in acknowledgment when Faith walked into the room, expecting hell to follow. Faith smiled his way and when their eyes met, he nodded in greeting then looked back down at his client. She was smiling, like nothing was wrong. As if he hadn’t abandoned the bed last night or left without saying a word this morning.
It was a good thing. She wasn’t a teary eyed mess. She realized it was just sex and wasn’t going to make a big thing about it. It was exactly what he wanted. It was. He was positive it was.
“Ow,” the client he was working on said.
“Toughen up, you wuss,” Lars said but did lighten up the pressure of the tattoo gun, realizing he’d drawn a sizable amount of blood with the force he’d just applied.
He kept sneaking glances at her as she moved about the place. She pulled a stool over to the counter and appeared to be settling in. She flipped open the books, which had been left there from the other day, and started tapping away at the calculator.
She sat like that for the next two hours, not once looking over at him. As one client left and another replaced them, she’d look up and offer a friendly greeting but it was as if he weren’t in the shop. She didn’t look when he dropped a tray of supplies on the ground or cursed his client loudly. When he accidentally knocked into a large bottle that crashed loudly, breaking into a million little bits, she finally turned and said, “You need some help over there?”
“Yeah, thanks.”
She walked over and swept up the little pieces while he grabbed the larger chunks but still didn’t look at him. Then she started humming. She had to be faking this Cinderella act but if she was, she was damn good at it. And the more she hummed, the more he wanted to growl.
Didn’t she know how normal women acted? He had just snubbed her right after they’d had sex. Why wasn’t she throwing a fit like the rest of them? Making him have to call in Cutty, his emergency backup for chicks out of control? She’d pitched a bigger fit over him checking out her phone messages.
She walked away after she’d helped him clean up his mess. She stashed the broom back in the closet and settled down in front of the mound of papers. She leaned on the table and all he could think of was the way she was arching her back.
Her phone vibrated on the counter beside her and he watched her answer.
“Hi,” she said then leaned her elbows on the counter as she listened. “That sounds great. I’ll see you later,” she said and hung up a second later.
It was one of the guys. He knew that.
“We’re done,” he said to his client. The guy looked at the rough sketched lines.
“We are?”
“What, are you deaf? That’s what I just said.” Lars stood up and walked out of the shop, letting the door slam as he did, leaving the client to his own devices.
He guessed she didn’t care as much as he feared she would. That was a good thing. The fact that he cared so much wasn’t.
***
Lars was over at Fate’s, helping watch his place, which she’d been told was a prime target at the moment. She knew this because it was one of the handful of words they’d said to each other today before she’d left with Cutty to go have dinner with the guys.
She had the feeling that his disappearance tonight had much more to do with what had happened last night than Fate needing him there. She wasn’t sure what his problem was. She should be the one who was angry.
As it was, she had to force herself to stay present while she sat around the table with Cutty, Bic and Angus.
“I thought we were going to lose this food for sure after you moved in with Lars,” Angus said in between shoveling bites of lasagna into his mouth.
“No, I like cooking for you guys.” She toyed with her own plate of food, losing her normal enthusiasm for the dish she loved.
“Or just refuse to cook for us, considering,” Angus rattled on.
Faith wouldn’t have thought anything of that statement if she hadn’t seen a guilty look pass between Cutty and Bic for just a fraction of a second.
“Considering what?” Faith asked. “Why would I all of a sudden stop cooking for you guys?”
Angus looked at Cutty and Bic, who shrugged in innocence, leaving Angus to fend for himself. “Um, you know, just the little things.”
“Like what?” she pressed.
“Well, I mean considering Lars and Fate still act like you might somehow be with Keith or working for Malokin.”
“I know, Fate thinks I’m evil incarnate,” she said, trying to laugh off the sting she felt.
Faith had no delusions about what Fate thought of her. She could see his distrust every time she had the unlikely pleasure of running into him. Malokin only had interest in the lowest of the low. If you had anything to do with him, you were pure evil—except for Karma, who seemed to have reached some exempt status when she fell into Fate’s bed.
And she knew that Lars hadn’t trusted her but the timeline was off. They didn’t know he’d just slept with her. He wouldn’t have done that if he thought so poorly of her. Would he?
Her mind ran back over her recent memories with him. She tried to think of anything he’d done that might have seemed untrusting, but there was nothing that came to mind, not since their lunch and silent truce.
She took a bite of lasagna and was just starting to feel better about things until Angus spoke again. “When you think about it, it’s only natural that he’d want to hire someone to check out your past. No one could blame him for that.”
Cutty dipped his head down and Faith heard his audible sigh.
“Who hired someone?”
Angus cleared his throat like his lasagna wasn’t going down so hot. “Um, Lars?”
She got out of her chair and dug out her phone on a hunch. She looked at installed programs but didn’t see anything but she knew it was there.
They all avoided her gaze when she turned back to them.
“You’ve got spyware on my phone, too, don’t you?”
“You have to understand where it’s coming from,” Cutty said.
“I do.” And she wasn’t lying. But it still hurt like hell. And they didn’t know she’d just slept with Lars. The guy didn’t tru
st her enough to not track her phone and she’d just slept with him? It was humiliating.
And right now, she was stuck with them—with him. She didn’t have anywhere else to go, and as much as she’d like to let her pride dictate her actions, Keith was still out there.
She sat back down at the table but the mood had gone south like a plane into the Bermuda triangle, not knowing for sure if they’d make it out in one piece.
She forced a couple more bites down, trying to keep up appearances, until she just couldn’t do it another moment. “When you’re done, can one of you guys give me a lift back?”
Cutty stood right away. “I’ll take you now.”
She nodded and thanked him as he went and grabbed the keys.
“Faith…you know—” Angus said, shaking his head.
“Shut up, you moron, you already did enough damage. Who knows what stupid shit you’ll say next,” Bic said.
“I don’t have a beef with you guys. I get it.” And she didn’t. If she were them, she wouldn’t trust her either. What did they have to go on? But they hadn’t slept with her.
She said goodbye to Bic and Angus as she followed Cutty out towards his car.
She rode back to Lars’ with her head still reeling from the recent revelation. How the hell could Lars sleep with her if he thought she was such a horrible person? He was kissing her, putting his dick in her, and the whole time he thought she was the scum of the Earth? Who could do something like that?
Chapter 27
The breeze off the ocean cut up what would have otherwise been a hotter than hell night in the South. Lars sat on Fate’s deck, rifle in his lap and a keen eye searching the distance for signs of trouble. He didn’t have to be here. He’d helped Fate ward his place well enough that Malokin wouldn’t be able to get close but it was an easy excuse to get out of dinner tonight. Faith was there, and he needed some time to himself to figure out what was going on in his head when it came to her.
The house was quiet but he could feel the energy of their unsettled life forces inside. They called to him like a siren’s song that only someone who was intimately acquainted with death could hear. The humans he saw were worse. Still covered in their shells, he could catch the occasional scent of fear and confusion carried on the breeze when they passed too closely to the house.
They couldn’t understand why people were becoming angry and it frightened them. It was a strange scent that was achingly familiar to the smell that preluded death and made him tense for want of action. It was useless to fight the urge so he let the waves of it flow over him like a pain he couldn’t stop.
It was that constant lure from unsettled souls that had finally pushed him over the edge and made him try anything, including Larissa’s witchcraft, in order to quit. He’d thought that this urge would go away when he finally did. It hadn’t. Even his closest friends had no idea how sometimes he longed to steal the spark that made people go on.
As he leaned back in his chair he noticed that it felt like the urges might have lessened a tiny bit. Nothing significant enough to know for sure, but it felt like the desire to take a soul wasn’t quite as strong.
Lars heard Karma’s footsteps from within and gave up on the idea of any peace.
Lars looked over at her, hoping she’d simply poke her head out on the deck, wave, and leave him be. She came outside took the seat beside him instead.
“How are you?” he asked, even though he didn’t actually care at the moment.
His eyes scanned her, searching for some visible display of her messed up psyche. He knew she was an emotional mess right now. He had to give her props, though. She looked like she was holding it together, if a little bit ragtag.
“I’m fine,” she replied.
He nodded. He did like Karma. She wasn’t the type to carry on and whine to everyone in her vicinity. He knew she was going through some shit of her own but she’d suffer in silence.
“Live long enough and bad shit tends to happen. More often than usual with you, but it’s unavoidable.” He smiled, thinking of how she did tend to be a lightning rod for the crap. “Take enough steps and sooner or later one of them is going to be in dog shit.”
“I guess I’m lucky like that,” she said, her sarcastic nature leaking out as she looked down the beach at a few stragglers but not much else. “Quiet tonight.”
“Enjoy it. We might not get too many more of these.” He crossed his ankles where they rested on the railing, the heavy boots making a thudding noise in the quiet of the night as he repositioned them.
She buffed her nails on the pajama shorts she was wearing and he thought the talk was finally over. Maybe she’d go inside and he could finally get the quiet he’d been searching for.
“I wasn’t going to ask, but since the world’s going to shit and I’m at a lack for more appropriate small talk—”
“Figured he’d tell you about her,” Lars interrupted, thinking he should’ve known better than to imagine she’d leave him in peace. These guys were worse than high schoolers with their goddamn gossip.
“Yes.”
If she was going to insist on talking, he might as well make some use of it. “You can’t kill her and add her to your bucket list.”
“I can’t believe you’re sleeping with one of Malokin’s people. If you haven’t noticed, we’re at war with him. What are you thinking?”
“She’s not with him,” Lars’s voice was firm and more than a little defensive. No one actually knew he’d slept with Faith but they knew him. It wasn’t a stretch. His hand ran through his black hair as he sighed. It took a full minute before he spoke again, less decisive this time. “At least I don’t think she is. Talking about fucked up relationships, how’s yours?” If she wanted to delve into his crap situation, let’s see how she liked it.
“I don’t have a relationship.”
“Sure you don’t. You two walk around saying nothing about anything and pretend it’s completely normal. Worry about your own issues.”
He resettled the rifle in his lap as she stared at the chips in her nail polish in the heavy silence.
“We’re both screwed up. But your situation is still worse,” she said.
He turned his head toward her and raised his eyebrows. She had to be kidding. “Care to debate that?”
She broke eye contact to stare down at her nails again. “I won’t talk about yours, if you don’t talk about mine.”
“Done. That was significantly easier than I had imagined.” In his head, he’d thought he might have to actually get up and leave before he got her to shut up about the situation.
Then he remembered the tattoo he’d given her. Fate had asked him to check on it. Apparently it was causing her some pain. He waved a finger toward Karma’s hip. “On to other subjects, I’m supposed to take a peek at that.”
“Sure.” She kicked her feet up on the railing beside his, clearly not in any rush.
“I’m not going to see anything wrong with the tattoo, am I?” he asked as neither of them made an effort toward show and tell. He knew whatever was going wrong with it had nothing to do with what he’d done. It was what had come after.
“Nope.”
“Care to share what the issue is?”
“Nope.”
“Understood.”
She stood and stretched out her arms with a yawn. “It’s been nice chatting with you, Lars. Sort of, anyway.”
“Back at ya, babe,” he said, using the top of the gun to salute her.
And just when he thought he was going to finally get his peace, Cutty called and told him about the events at dinner.
Chapter 28
Faith was asleep on the couch, not the bed, when he got home. That was the first sign that Cinderella had left the building. He’d crashed on his bed for the first time in a while, for all the good it did him.
When he woke in the morning, he thought about going right down to the shop. He wasn’t sure how that idea had morphed into cooking her eggs.
H
e heard her rise and looked over just as she disappeared into the bathroom without saying anything. By the time she finally came back out, the eggs he’d plated for her had gone cold.
“Want me to heat those up for you?” he asked.
“No, they’re fine. You’ve done plenty.” Her back was stiffer than her tone as she sat opposite him at the table.
He watched as she toyed with her food and he wondered if he should go stay at Cutty’s. This was getting uncomfortable and reminded him of the exact reason he didn’t have relationships. Why torture himself like this? He couldn’t sleep with her and he couldn’t bring another girl home with her here.
Who was he kidding? He didn’t want another girl. He wanted Faith, but he pushed that thought aside. He wasn’t going there again, and this wasn’t tolerable. He longed for the fake pleasantries of yesterday.
“We need to talk,” he finally said, when it was clear she wasn’t going to be the one starting any kind of chitchat between them.
“What?” She didn’t sound overjoyed, but at least she wasn’t outright shutting him down. Her hand went to Arthur’s ring, hanging on the string around her neck, a telltale sign she was unsettled, as if seeking out her last connection to him for support.
“I…” He faltered in the new territory.
“I what?” she asked after the words didn’t come out.
Apologizing didn’t come easily to his nature but for peace, he’d do it. It had nothing to do with her being unhappy. This was for peace, and that was it. He had to do it. Cutty’s wasn’t safe. She had to stay here and it was his place. It was ridiculous for him to leave it.
“I’m…” Okay, he wasn’t going to be able to get that word out. Sorry might have been a bit ambitious for his first time around. She’d have to settle for something close. “Cutty told me about last night. I didn’t mean to make you feel…uncomfortable. I just want you to understand those things took place before…” This watching what you said shit was tough work. He wondered why most people bothered with it.
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