“I like waking up to you,” I told him with uncharacteristic honesty. It was akin to me offering him my heart on a silver platter. I wanted him to see me bare and defenseless, with walls down. For the first time, I wanted to let a man in, rather than barricade him out.
His hand brushed over my hair and I stretched like a cat against him. “Oh, do you?”
“I like the way you hold me.”
His arms tightened around me. “Good luck trying to get me to let you go.”
If I’d thought he couldn’t get any more amazing, I was wrong. And that was after an amazing night with him once he got back from his run.
It hadn’t been anything special, but to me, it was everything. We ate dinner and watched a movie cuddled together on the couch. I studied to the point where I couldn’t see straight and he forced me to take a break, which of course meant we ended up making out on the couch until three o’clock in the morning.
I swear, I wish we’d made the plunge into dating sooner. I’ve never felt about anyone the way I feel about him.
It was as simple as feeling his heart beat sync with my own. He twined his fingers with mine and pressed them against his chest.
The words spilled out before I even made the conscious thought to say them. “I love you, Liam.”
His body stilled under my hands and with anyone else, I would have rushed to apologize. To backtrack and apologize. At the first sign of commitment or weakness, my first instinct was normally to run, but the only running I wanted to do when it came to Liam was right back into his arms. I guess my mom and I weren’t alike in that aspect after all.
When he didn’t say anything, the first tingling of anxiety had me tilting my head back to gauge his reaction. I found him smiling down at me and taking my lips for a kiss I’d never forget.
“I love you, too, Charlie,” he said when we stopped to catch our breath.
I dragged him back to me as warmth spread through my chest. My whole body felt as though it were weightless. I couldn’t stop smiling even though we were kissing. By the time we were done, happy tears had blurred my vision.
“I hate to tell you this,” Liam said as he looked over my head. “But I think you might be late for that final.”
Still floating from the kiss, it took me a minute for the meaning of his words to sink in. “What?” I shrieked and flew from the bed. “Oh my god, I’m so screwed.”
I stumbled across the hall to my room and grabbed at clothes blindly. I’m not sure any of it matched, but I didn’t care. Failing this final would ruin me for the whole semester. Liam was waiting for me in the kitchen with a steam carafe of coffee. If I hadn’t already fallen in love with him, seeing him standing in his boxers with just a mug of coffee would have done it.
“You’re a god,” I told him as I accepted the carafe and gave him a quick kiss. “See you later?” I threw over my shoulder as I hurried to the door.
“I’ll be here,” he replied. And I knew he would.
On my way to campus I sped through more yellow lights than I cared to admit. Speed bumps? More like suggestions. I only had two minutes to get to the final before the professor, who was notorious for locking doors on the hour, barred me from entering. I was just pulling into a spot when my phone rang.
Thinking it could be Liam, maybe hoping it would be, I answered. I was turning into a fourteen-year-old with a crush. I was smiling when I said, “Hello?”
“Charlie, I’m glad I caught you.” I recognized April’s voice. I wasn’t quite ready to settle on calling her mom again. I might not ever be.
“April? I’m running kind of late for an exam can I call you back?” My lungs burned with effort as I raced from student parking to the building where the final was taking place.
“This will only take a second,” she said.
“Good, because that’s all I’ve got.”
“I received word that your application has been accepted. The volunteer spot is yours if you want it.”
The news should have made me happy, but if it did, it was hollow. I frowned as I shoved through the double doors and hurried down the hall. “That’s great,” I told her. This was all I’d wanted for a long time. The chance to serve where I was needed, to give back to others the way I wanted to when my father was sick, but couldn’t. It’s the entire reason why I decided to get my bachelor’s in nursing in the first place.
There was a pause. “You don’t sound as enthusiastic as I thought you would.”
I tried to muster some enthusiasm up. “No, I am, this is great.”
She cleared her throat. “Look, I don’t mean to be rude, but I pushed your application through. I had to pull some strings to get you accepted. I thought you’d be pleased.”
My back stiffened. I wanted to close the gap between us, but I certainly didn’t need her playing mother. “You shouldn’t have done that. I didn’t need your help. I would have gotten it on my own.”
“I just wanted to help you.”
I took the stairs two at a time and cursed under my breath. One minute. “Look, I’m grateful for your help, but my plans may have changed.”
“Changed?” There was a pause. “This is about that boy isn’t it. The one who was at the restaurant with you? Please don’t tell me you’re throwing this opportunity away for some guy.”
I thought I’d gotten over her leaving. In fact, I was looking forward to meeting her family and mending fences. The second she attacked Liam however, I snapped. “Funny coming from a woman who threw away her daughter.” I reached the classroom door just as the professor was walking up the aisle to lock it. “I’ve got a final, I have to go.”
Click.
Pushing her from my mind, I gave my professor a nervous smile and took a seat in the back of the room. She had no right to judge any choices I made. Just because I was no longer obsessed with school and my career, didn’t mean they still weren’t important.
I was allowed to have a life in addition to work. In fact, I’d given it up in exchange for extra classes, volunteer work and my job for so long I’d forgotten what fun was like until recently. She had no place to tell me what to do, especially after she’d been absent for so long.
If I wanted to give up the volunteer opportunity to spend more time with Liam, there’d be other chances.
I couldn’t say the same for me and Liam. We only had a couple short weeks before his lease ended and we had to make a real decision about what was happening between us.
For the first time in my life, I was open to the possibility of taking a chance.
As long as it was with him.
Chapter Twenty-Four
Liam
My email dinged as I was driving home from work later that day and I paused at a stoplight to check it. Dear Mr. Walsh, unfortunately you are ineligible to receive the scholarship based on…
A loud blare from the car behind me shook me out of my stupor. I ground my teeth together as I accelerated. I’d been so distracted the night before I’d forgotten to call and remind dad to submit the forms so I could finish the application by the deadline. The email had been a standard form rejection. With only a few words, my hopes at attending the best school in the country had been squashed.
Part of me had to wonder if it hadn’t been a deliberate move on Dad’s part. Now he had me right where he wanted me. I’d attend the University of Florida, which was a couple hours away but still close enough to stay under their thumb. I should be grateful I was accepted anywhere, that a partial scholarship I’d already received would cover some of the costs, but all I could think about was the opportunity I’d lost.
Because of him.
Charlie’s car was already parked next to my space. I needed to talk to her about what was going to happen this summer, but I didn’t know what to say. How do I tell her I have to leave her when just this morning I’d told her I loved her?
Dread pooling in my stomach, but I strode to the front door in spite of it. I’d just tell her. She’d understand. Charlie always
understood. We’d just have to make it work somehow. People did that sort of thing all the time. Besides, if anyone knew what I was feeling it would be her. She had her own future to think about. There’s no way she wouldn’t understand when I had to leave.
The moment I laid eyes on her all logic seemed irrelevant. She’d changed out of her scrubs after work and was wearing a pair of shorts and one of those drape-y shirts that girls liked now. It clung to her breasts and flared at her hips, skimming her thighs and making me consider how soft it would be under my hands.
“Hey,” she said warmly. Her bare feet were propped on a rung at the island stool. There was something so sweet about how naked they were that had me stopping in the entryway. The words I’d so carefully considered evaporated.
“Hey,” was all I could manage.
Before I could say anything else, she got to her feet and said, “I have some news.”
I let out a breath. Here was my chance. “So do I, but you first.”
She took a sip from the glass of wine in her hand. “I was accepted for the volunteer position.”
“That’s amazing! I had no doubt you would be.”
I closed the distance between us, unable to hear her say anymore. I should be happy for her, but all I could think about was how empty my place would be when she was gone.
There was a long silence. I could tell she expected me to fill it, but I still didn’t know what to say. “What about you? What’s your news?” she asked.
I glanced at my watch, unable to look her in the eye. “Don’t worry about it. We’d better get going or we’re going to be late for Taco and Tequila Tuesday with your friends. I think we should celebrate your good news first. We can talk about this after.”
“Are you sure?” she asked. “You’re acting weird.”
“I’m sorry. It’s just been a long day. I could use some of that tequila.”
A couple hours and several shots of tequila later, I’d pushed the email, the future and everything but Charlie out of my mind.
I couldn’t get enough of her. Enough of looking at her, talking to her, kissing her. I spent most of the night imagining just what I’d do to her once I got her alone.
Tripp shoved my shoulder. “Someone’s whipped,” he joked. “Were you even listening to me?”
“Fuck you. You and I both know I’m not the only whipped individual here.” I glanced pointedly at Ember, and Tripp sighed and sipped his beer. Taking pity on him, I changed the subject. “What were we talking about?”
“Graduation. How does it feel to finally have freedom on the horizon?”
The immediate answer should have been resoundingly enthusiastic, and would have been a couple months ago, but now, all I could think about was Charlie and leaving her behind. “It’s good, man.”
Tripp quirked a brow. “Well now I’m just overcome. C’mon man, seriously, what the fuck? I thought you had vet school all lined up.”
I sipped my beer and wished it were another shot of tequila. “I did, I mean I do.”
“Well, spill, dude. Where did you accept?”
I sighed. “I had a couple of places I was considering.”
“You don’t sound too excited.”
“No, I am. They’re a great opportunity. All really good schools.”
“I’m happy for you, dude.”
“Thank you.” He lifted his beer to knock it against mine, but for some reason, I no longer felt like celebrating.
I downed the beer anyway, and went in search of Charlie. I needed to see her, hold her. I had to tell her about school at some point, but I wanted to make this moment last a little longer.
I found her playing Cards Against Humanity with Layla, Ember, and Layla’s neighbor and rival Dash. They were falling over each other with laughter, faces bright from the tequila shots they’d been doing and stacks of messy cards in front of them. Charlie caught my eye and motioned for me to come sit next to her on the couch. Just being near her soothed me.
As I watched them play, I tried to remember if it had been the same way when we were just friends. It must have at least been similar, otherwise we wouldn’t have been so drawn together for so long. Which made me wonder if we were together because we were such good friends or were we friends because this thing between us was so strong.
An hour later, I propped her up with one arm as we stumbled our way outside to an Uber. We’d both had one too many tequila shooters and after a couple rounds of cards had started giggling at every damn thing.
“Did you know your hair is just the cutest thing?” she squealed as I carried her out of the Uber to my front door. Tripp and Dash were following behind with my car. Tripp because it was spring training and he couldn’t drink much, Dash because he didn’t drink—at all. Ever. When I’d asked, Charlie wouldn’t say.
“My hair, huh?” I said and had to fight to keep her hands from wandering all over my body—at least until we got behind closed doors.
“I like having you around,” she said when we stumbled inside. “You’re like a sexy, snuggly bear.”
“Oh, am I?”
Her giggle was muffled as she started kissing her way down my chest. Finally, I gave up trying to let her walk to the door while she was so distracted and simply picked her up again. This both helped and hindered because she was able to focus completely on kissing, licking, and nipping at my skin instead of walking, but I grew more and more distracted the longer she went at it.
“Jesus Christ, Charlie. You’re killing me.”
“I want you naked, Liam. You’re wearing too many clothes.” She said the last bit in my ear on a moan.
I was about ready to break the damn door down when it finally opened. I wanted it to last forever. I wanted to spread her out underneath me and take her slowly, torturously, but that’s not what happened. We slammed into the house, the front door flying back and crashing against the wall.
“There goes your security deposit,” Charlie said against my mouth.
“You mean there goes your security deposit.”
“I didn’t pay a security deposit for this place,” she reminded me as I sampled her throat.
“Clearly an oversight on my part. Fine, we’ll split any damages.”
I felt her laugh vibrate against my tongue. “So chivalrous, Mr. Walsh.”
Careful to catch her head with one hand, I guided her back against the wall and kicked the door close with my foot. “That’s me, baby.”
She snorted. “I’ll believe that when I see it.”
I carried her to the bedroom, then followed her down onto the bed and for a while, nothing mattered but the sighs and moans I stole from her.
“What’s this?”
I cracked open an eye to find Charlie standing by the bed. She was holding my phone.
Shit.
I sat up and pressed my fingers to my eyes, hoping the pause before I had to respond would give me time enough to come up with an explanation. “What are you doing?”
“Your phone kept ringing. I got up to get a glass of water and turn it off.” Her voice was still hoarse from the shouting at Ember’s place and then all the shouting I’d made her do after. “You got accepted to UF?”
I didn’t want to lie to her. Couldn’t. So I said simply, “Yes.”
“I also saw you applied to California. You never told me.”
I sat up and pulled the sheet over my lap along the way as I leaned against the headboard. “I applied to schools all over the country. California was just one of them. I can’t afford to go there, but I’m going to take out loans. It’s the best program for me.”
She’d pulled on one of my shirts. It bagged around her and flirted with her legs. It made her look young and vulnerable. And hurt. Fuck, I didn’t want to hurt her. That was the last thing I wanted to do. But I had and it was already killing me.
“Why didn’t you tell me?”
“It just happened. I was going to tell you.” I lifted a shoulder. “I just couldn’t figure out what to say.
Besides, you’re leaving this summer, too.”
“Were you?” Gone was the laughter, the bright eyes. Her lips were pressed into a hard line and the angry furrow between her brows was one I’d never really had directed at me.
“Why wouldn't ?"
“Actually, I turned down the position. You didn’t give me a chance to say it earlier, but I was planning to stay.” The only other time I’d ever heard her voice sounding so dead was the day she told me her father had died. “For you.”
“You shouldn’t have done that,” I answered honestly. I never wanted her to give up her plans for me. That wasn’t the Charlie I knew.
“Well, I did. Because you made me realize it wasn’t the only important thing in my life.” She was doing that thing where she tried to be strong, but I heard the reed-thin sound to her voice. “It’s ironic, isn’t it? The one guy I fall for and actually think won’t leave me is the one who does.”
“Don’t say that.” All my life, I’d been working to prove myself to my father. I’d dealt with the guilt from leaving my family, abandoning Grandma Dorothy. Charlie knew this. And yet the moment I saw her take a step away from me as I sat up to go to her, I would have given up everything I’d earned to have her happy again.
“Why not? It’s the truth.”
I shifted under the sheet. “Believe me or not, but I was gonna tell you. Last night just wasn’t the right time.”
Her voice hardened. She was turning to stone right in front of my eyes. Because of me. “How long have you known?”
“Does it matter?” There was no way she’d forgive me now.
“It matters to me.”
“Look Charlie, things between us are still new. We’re still getting used to…whatever this is. I didn’t want to ruin anything.”
Friend Zone Series Box Set Page 15
