“But I thought you needed help putting the decorations together and picking up the cake.”
“I can handle it on my own. That’s the point, Tripp. I don’t want you to put aside your life because you think there’s something going on here.” She kept going before I could interrupt. “Please, do this for me. I need for you to go out and have fun. Do it for me, since I can’t,” she said with a laugh, but it was devoid of humor.
“I don’t understand why it’s such a big deal to you. I wanted to help you out, as your friend.” That was a lie. Maybe she had a point. “But if it means so much to you, I won’t come. Even though this sounds backassward. Are you sure you don’t need help?”
“Yes,” she replied firmly. “I can handle it. I have to be able to do these things on my own. I’m grateful, more than you can even imagine, that you want to help me. But you can’t always help me, and I need to be able to stand on my own two feet.”
“You already do too much,” I said, thinking of her absent parents.
“I’m a big girl.”
Stubborn. God, she was stubborn.
Funnily enough, it reminded me of Tillie and the way she tried to do everything herself. I wonder where she got that from?
“Alright, then, I guess.” I got to my feet, suddenly ready to be as far away from her apartment as possible. If she wanted me to keep my distance, I guess I needed to be told twice for me to get it through my thick skull. A year of being held at arm’s length should have done the trick, but practically forcing me to be with other people worked just as well.
“I’ll see you later,” I said.
Chapter Eleven
Ember
Kissing Tripp was unlike anything I’d ever experienced.
I thought it was romance novel bullshit. How a connection could be so instantaneous with someone. But when Tripp pressed me deep into the couch and kissed me like I was the best thing he had ever tasted, I thought maybe I was wrong. It had never been like this with Chris.
Effortless.
There was no self-doubt, no self-consciousness.
There was only heat and need.
The more I kissed him, the more I wanted him.
It scared me how much I wanted him.
Hell, he’d scared me since the day I met him.
No matter how hard I pushed him away, he was always there. Unruffled, patient, kind. An unshakeable rock.
“Wait,” I said and put a hand on his chest. Somehow, I managed to pull myself away, slip out from underneath him, and put some distance between us. I ended up in the kitchen, but I could have been across the continent, and it wouldn’t have been enough.
Whatever wheels I was putting into motion here weren’t going to brake as easily as that.
“Tripp, I—”
Tripp held up a hand. “You don’t have to say anything. I—you don’t have to say anything.”
I wanted to pull my hair out. “Stop, just stop. You don’t have to be so understanding all the time. It was wrong of me. I never should have crossed that line. Stop being so nice. I’m jerking you around, and we both know it.”
I didn’t understand how he couldn’t see it. I was taking advantage of his kindness. Jerking him around by messing around with him, then telling him there was no chance for a future with me. I was damaged goods. I come with too much baggage. What part of that didn’t he understand?
He rose from the couch and herded me with his body toward the kitchen island. “You want me to stop being nice?”
“Yes!” I said, my voice breaking with exasperation. “The things I’m asking of you aren’t fair. You have to know that. I’m not in a healthy place right now.”
He was so close that I could see the pulse beating in his throat. It was as steady as his gaze, which was locked into mine. “You think I can’t handle you?” He smirked a little. “I’m a big boy. I know what I’m doing. But I’m also not an asshole. If all you can handle is friendship, then that’s what I’m here for. If you want a little something more, then I’m telling you that I want you.”
I placed my hands on his shoulders. “Wait, so what are you saying? Are you saying you want to be…friends…with benefits?” The incredulous tone in my voice cracked a little. We were in college, but we had never entered the world of casual sex. Tripp had flirted, hard, and often, but he’d never been a complete manwhore. And I’d blown off every guy who tried to hit on me but Chris.
“I want you. If that’s what you want, I’m willing to give it to you.”
“That’s not fair to you.” I shook my head, trying to clear it of the haze of lust. “No. We can’t do that. Situations like that are how people get hurt, and you’re the last person I would ever want to hurt. “
He thumbed my cheek and smiled a little. “You don’t have to add me to the list of people you take care of.”
“I don’t want to take care of you,” I said hotly, but his words rang with a truth I couldn’t ignore. Chris had said something of the sort a time or two.
He clearly wasn’t convinced. “You want to take care of everyone. Your patients, your sisters, your parents. Your friends. Who takes care of you, Em?”
“You’re starting to piss me off. Give me some space.” How the conversation had devolved so completely, I couldn’t understand. This was precisely the reason I didn’t want to get involved with anyone in the first place. I tried to shove my way around him, but it was like trying to drain the ocean: impossible.
“No, I’m not giving you space. Not this time.”
“I take it back. Offer rescinded.”
His breath was hot on my lips. I licked mine without conscious thought. “You can’t take it back,” he said.
I tried to use reason. “We have to leave soon. The twins will be home, and it’ll take an hour to get them ready and over to your parents’ with rush hour traffic.”
Tripp didn’t budge. How had I mistaken him for the happy-go-lucky sort? Underneath that puppy dog exterior was a pit bull. “Stop making excuses. Stop trying to think your way through everything. Tell me what you want.”
“I think—”
“Not what you think. What do you want?”
“Tripp—”
“What. Do. You. Want?”
His arms were on either side of me, caging me against the island. Our faces were so close I could see the darker striations in his eyes. Dark blue, light grey.
My hands lifted of their own volition, and my gaze followed where they stroked along his strong arms up to his shoulders. I glanced back up and saw his eyelashes flutter closed. The skin at his neck was warm and smooth.
What did I want? I wanted to taste him there again.
So for once, without thinking, I did.
The moment my lips tasted his skin, he abolished the distance between us and pressed me into the island countertop. The edge dug into my back, but all I cared about was the weight of him moving against me. He was so tall, so solid, that he blotted out everything outside of our little bubble. The world shrank to just the two of us, and, for that moment, I didn’t need anyone or anything else.
One of his hands lifted to cup my head, his fingers sifting through my hair. I moved to take the kiss deeper, but he broke off. “That’s not an answer.”
“What do you want from me?”
“I want you to say it.”
My cheeks burned. “Tripp,” I protested.
“Tell me.”
“I want you,” I said. “Please.”
He seemed to react better when I was kissing him, so I brought my lips to his throat. I seemed to have an obsession with the taste of his skin. I felt his responding groan against my mouth, and his hands dug into my waist.
“Ground rules,” he said hoarsely. “We have to have rules.”
“Since when does big bad Tripp Wilder care about rules?” I asked and reached up on my tippy toes to tug at his earlobe with my teeth. He groaned and clamped a hand on my head to keep me there. Tripp liked that. I did it again and felt him shudder ag
ainst me.
“I care about you,” he said. “I don’t want you to get hurt.”
“You wouldn’t hurt me.” I knew that unequivocally. “I want to know what you meant when you said that sex could be good. I want to enjoy it without worrying too much about feelings.”
“You’re killing me, angel.”
“Good. Let me make it feel better.”
I reached between us and quickly undid his pants. I didn’t want either of us to have time to come up with excuses. A moment later, before he could dodge me, his cock filled my hands, hot and hard, and at my touch his head dropped back, and he hissed out a breath.
“Fuck,” he groaned. “Let’s go to your room.”
Wishing we had more time, I gripped him tight for a few exploratory strokes. “Can’t. We have to be quick. Let’s do it here.”
“Screw quick. I need at least a few hours.”
The desperation in his voice made me smile. “You’ll have to up your game, ace. Or is that outside of your expertise?”
“You play dirty,” he said. “Fine, but next time I want at least a couple of hours.”
Then he spun me around, and I was forced to let go of him. Glancing up, I said, “Next time?”
“That’s right. If this goes how I think it will, I’m going to need a next time. And that’s the first rule. Now strip.”
He pulled off his shirt, and I lost the thread of the conversation. His abs rippled underneath his lightly tanned skin. Just underneath his jeans, I spied his tan line and confirmed a mental theory I’d been courting for a while. Tripp practiced without his shirt on. It’s why I rarely went to his practices. Eye candy for days. I wondered if I could now, or was that against the rules?
Which reminded me, “Stripping is the first rule?”
Since I was taking too long to comply, he helped me lift my shirt over my head, and his eyes feasted on my breasts even though they were bound in an unflattering sports bra that did nothing to accentuate them.
When he could speak again, he chuckled darkly, “I won’t say no to that, but I meant that we should always talk to each other. Communication is the first rule, so things don’t get too complicated.”
My nipples beaded underneath the thick material of my sports bra, but it wasn’t because it was cool inside the apartment. It was because he couldn’t stop looking at me. “I can agree to that. What else?”
He eyed me up and down, then slipped a finger down the front of my bra. “This is next,” he said.
I’d never been one to be shy about the naked body—I saw enough of them at work—but I blushed as I contorted to pull off the tight bra, my breasts bouncing free. His hands were there immediately, cupping them, lifting and testing their weight. My nipples were so sensitive that when he thumbed them, the sensation was almost painful.
My voice was thick with lust when I spoke, “I mean, which rule is next?”
Noting my reaction, his thumbs paid intimate attention to my nipples, caressing them in soft swipes that made liquid heat pool low in my stomach. “Honesty. If something changes, if you don’t want to do this anymore, then you tell me. I want you to always feel like you can talk to me.”
“Same to you,” I said, but I was breathing hard. His thumbs were masterful, and when he added his fingers, pinching and squeezing the sensitive buds, I nearly came out of my skin. “Tripp!”
“Shh, I’m trying to focus.” He leaned forward and took one of my nipples into his mouth. His tongue flicked, and he sucked deeply, causing me to arch my back against the counter. I wasn’t even naked, and I was about to come.
“So am I!” I nearly snarled.
“No one else,” he said darkly. “That doesn’t make this a relationship, because I know you’re not ready for that, but I don’t share. And if you find someone else, then you tell me, and we’ll call it quits.”
“Same for you.”
He didn’t say anything to that but helped me out of my yoga pants. I wasn’t wearing anything underneath, which left me completely bare. I suddenly remembered that I’d just been working out. I hadn’t even taken a shower. Oh my God, what if I smelled gross? Shit!
“Tripp, wait, maybe we should take a shower. Clean up first.”
“No time,” he said, and then he knelt in front of me.
“But wait, I’m probably all sweaty—ahhh!”
I didn’t have time to finish my warning. His mouth was already there between my spread legs, which he draped over his shoulders as though I didn’t weigh a thing. I threw my head back as his tongue lapped boldly at me. There wasn’t time to be self-conscious. Tripp simply didn’t allow it. He ate my pussy like he was a starved man, and I was the tastiest thing he’d ever had on his tongue.
There was no hesitation in the way he licked at my clit, no second thoughts. If he had reservations, he didn’t show them. The rasp of his stubble rubbed my inner thighs raw, but I didn’t care. What he was doing felt too good to worry about anything else.
He pulled away long enough to say, “Last rule is we don’t stop until you come.”
Based on the way things were going, I didn’t think that was going to be a problem—which was something, especially for me.
His hands spread my thighs wide, resulting in the need for me to brace my arms on the countertop behind me. The precariousness of the placement made it impossible for me to find a comfortable position. It kept me on edge, excited, uncertain. I never knew how much of a turn-on being reckless could be. Normally, when I had sex, it was always in bed, at night, with the lights off. Now, we were in the middle of my apartment, and the sun was blazing through the front windows.
Then, he reached his hands around my hips to spread my pussy apart. The action shocked me so much that I straightened and looked down at him. And that was it. I couldn’t look away. His eyes were closed as though in rapture. All I could hear were the wet, slick sounds of his tongue and lips sucking and licking at every part of me.
And the moans, oh, God, the moans.
Except they weren’t coming from me.
I mean, they were, but Tripp...he sounded like he was enjoying the hell out of himself. Which had never occurred to me before.
But it was when he opened his eyes and looked up that I truly lost myself in him. His licks slowed as he moved from the sensitive nub of my clit to the place where I wanted him so badly. With his eyes on mine, he thrust his tongue deep inside. It was dirty, so dirty, and felt so good that I cried out, grabbed his hands, and came all over his tongue.
By the time I came back to myself and the haze had faded away from my vision, Tripp was back on his feet. After a moment, I realized it was the sound of his zipper drawing down that had caught my attention. His hands pushed at his jeans, freeing his dick, which glistened at the tip with a drop of precum. I wanted to taste it, but before I could get to my knees, he stopped me.
“You put your mouth on me, angel, and I’ll lose it. Next time,” he promised.
I meant to argue, really, I did, but he wrapped my thighs around his waist and kissed me. I tasted myself on his tongue. It was something I’d never done before, but damn, I liked it.
Then the thick head of his cock was pressing against me, and the heat that had built while he was going down on me returned with a vengeance. I clung to his shoulders and his neck and threw back my head as he teased my clit back and forth with long, slow strokes. He pushed inside once, and my eyes fluttered close. He was the perfect size. Thick enough to make it hurt in all the best ways, and long enough that he went deep to make me feel like he was a part of me.
He paused, muscles straining. “Fuck me, I didn’t bring a condom,” he said and sounded like a dying man.
I grabbed at his hips with my thighs, nearly sobbing with frustration. The friction was unbelievable. All of it was otherworldly, and I didn’t want him to stop. For the first time in my life, I was willing to say damn the consequences.
“I’m clean. I get screened for work, and I got tested after Chris to be safe. I’ve got
an IUD.” It didn’t shame me to talk about it. I had never really been shy about my body.
“I get screened for ball. I haven’t been with anyone since my last checkup,” he admitted, which shocked the hell out of me, considering all of his hangarounds. “But I’ll stop if you want me to. I wasn’t exactly planning on this.”
“No, don’t. We should be fine. I trust you.”
And I did.
With all of me.
Which is why, when he continued, I relaxed into him, forgetting everything but how he felt.
It was like his hips moved without conscious effort. I could still see remnants of surprise and disbelief on his face, which were soon replaced by rapture. We’d deal with the consequences later. It felt too good to stop.
My arms went around his shoulders, and he twisted to press me against the kitchen wall without me having to say the countertop was digging into my back. The new position made him go deep inside with each thrust, and, with the wall at my back, I had nowhere to go, no place to escape. All I could do was endure.
Strangled, high-pitched sounds that sounded nothing like me came from my throat. It was like he made me lose control. And I liked it.
“That’s it,” he whispered. “Give it to me, angel. Come on me again.”
“Oh, God.” I’d never heard Tripp like this before, never dreamed the sweet, gentle baseball star could have such a filthy-talking dirty side.
“Yes, right there,” he said, more to himself than me when my moans hitched up an octave. He pinned my hips to the counter and held me in place as he worked a spot inside me that made me see stars relentlessly.
My body tightened all around him, unbidden. I stopped breathing. All of my senses honed in on the point of contact that felt like a spark of stars inside me.
“I’m gonna come again,” I warned because it felt like an explosion about to detonate.
“Do it,” he ordered. “Now, now, now.”
I came on a harsh exhalation, my limbs like vices around him. He continued thrusting until they relaxed, and then his hips pistoned once, twice, three times, and he roared his own release. The heat of him warmed me from the inside out, and as we came down and he put my feet on the floor, I could feel it seep out and down my legs, grounding me a little.
Friend Zone Series Box Set Page 43
