She wasn’t sure what she should do. Everyone was gathered at the central fire, and she was not going to show herself there. She would stand out like a sore thumb. Everyone would have their faces painted, and even if she painted her own face, her red hair would give her away. The chief had accepted the ransom and he would be angry if he discovered she had come back, which might anger the soldiers and cause them to retaliate against his tribe. She would just have to wait until the celebrating was over with, and if Eagle Eye did not come back to the tepee, she would have to find Plenty Proud and ask him where Eagle Eye was.
In spite of the chanting and drums, Mackenzie was so tired, as soon as she laid down on her buffalo robe, she found herself falling asleep. It wasn’t until morning that she finally opened her eyes. The front of her dress was damp with milk, and she was eager to go to the children, even if she was discovered. Plenty Proud was probably up by now, so she wouldn’t even know where to find him. And what about Eagle Eye, he had still not returned to their tepee.
She wanted to go bathe in the river to get rid of the smell of sour milk on her skin. She would take her extra dress with her so she could change, and then she would go and see if she could find Plenty Proud, or perhaps go to his tepee and see if White Wing would let her feed one of the children to ease her discomfort.
Some of the families were still bathing and she could hear the laughter of children, she was going to go farther down the river, so they would not notice her, but something made her turn and look. Her heart stopped when she saw it was Plenty Proud, with both Brave Eyes and A Little Hope, bathing together. She looked to see if she could see Eagle Eye, thinking he would be sure to be there with the children as well.
At that very moment, Plenty Proud looked up at her and gasped. “Firelight, am I dreaming?”
Mackenzie rushed down the bank towards him. “I escaped. I couldn’t leave my children behind. I couldn’t leave you. I decided I would do as you asked and have Eagle Eye divorce me. Only I will have to leave Brave Eyes with him because I can’t break his heart completely. If we go to another clan and take A Little Hope with us, the soldiers wouldn’t know where to look for us if they decide to come after me again. Where is Eagle Eye? Why isn’t he here with you and the children? Is he on a vision quest, or something? He didn’t come to the tepee last night, and I noticed the fire had been out for some time when I got there.”
Plenty Proud merely looked at her, saying nothing for so long, it started to frighten her. Maybe he had changed his mind and didn’t want her to come with him after all. Her heart started to fall, and it caused her to shiver inside, hoping that wasn’t the case.
Finally, Plenty Proud took in a deep breath. “You will not need to ask Eagle Eye to divorce you,” he said in a low voice.
Mackenzie’s heart caught in her throat. Her fear had been correct. He had thought better of it. He didn’t want her to come with him after all. Eagle Eye must have found out about his plan and confronted him, she thought. Maybe he had been at the river that day and overheard them talking. She tried to be brave as she squared her shoulders. Instead, she would have Eagle Eye take her to another clan, she told herself, trying to come up with a backup plan. After all, she did love him. She would just have to forget about Plenty Proud, once and for all.
“I need to feed the children,” she said abruptly, changing the subject, not wanting to hear that Plenty Proud did not love her after all or that he wouldn’t betray his friend by taking her away from him.
She didn’t give him a chance to respond. She merely lifted her milk-stained dress over her head and flung it aside. Then she, picked up A Little Hope and began feeding her. She would be able to think more clearly, once the pressure was relieved she decided. Then she would make Plenty Proud tell her where Eagle Eye was.
As Plenty Proud watched her, she thought she saw a tear escape his eye, but then it could just be water dripping from his hair, she reasoned. He was silent as she fed his child, and then she reached for her own young brave. Both children seemed overjoyed to see her and be snuggled to her breast again. She didn’t know how she was going to be able to let Plenty Proud take A Little Hope, though. Only now, he could remain in his mother’s tepee and let her help him with his daughter, because she and Eagle Eye would move to another clan instead.
When Brave Eyes had finished nursing, she let him down to the bank again. Plenty Proud was still watching her. He looked sad and strange. She felt sad and strange too. She was afraid to ask him what had changed his mind about taking her away with him. Finally, she shrugged.
“I need to find Eagle Eye so we can make plans to leave. I don’t want to be here if my father and brother try and come back to convince me to leave with them again. I will leave A Little Hope with you, since she is your daughter.”
“Eagle Eye can’t go with you,” he said flatly.
“Are you saying that the chief won’t let him remain with me when he discovers I have returned? I can’t go alone!”
“The chief has no power in the decision,” he murmured.
“Then why won’t Eagle Eye come with me?” she demanded.
“Because he is not here,” Plenty Proud said, so quietly she wasn’t sure she heard him right.
“If he is not here, then where is he?” she inquired, not liking the look in Plenty Proud’s eyes.
“He has gone…” he paused and swallowed.
“Where would he go? Did he leave because I had been taken?”
“No, he left before you were taken, while we were on the raid.”
“Are you saying he didn’t want to come back to me? Did you tell him I wanted to divorce him? Is that why you claim I don’t have to ask him to divorce me after all because he left?”
“Yes, only it is not what you think.”
“What do you mean by that? Why did you tell him? It was my place to talk to him first, to make him understand. I told you I did not want to hurt Eagle Eye!”
“I didn’t tell him.”
“Then why did he leave? Doesn’t he love me anymore?”
“I am sure he loved you very much.”
“You must have said something to him before he left!”
“Yes, I did talk to him. I thanked him for saving my life during the raid. He risked his own life, saving mine. He told me to take care of you and the children before he left to the Other Side Camp.”
“No!” Mackenzie cried. “He died?”
“To keep me from being killed,” Plenty Proud mumbled. “He told me he knew you loved me more than you loved him and you would grieve more at my death than his. He said it was the right thing to do and he could die proudly with honor. He said to tell you he loved you and wanted you to be happy. He said not to mourn or cut your fire-hair off…that he would understand.”
“Have they already wrapped him and put him in a tree?” Mackenzie sobbed.
“Yes. I can take you there if you wish.”
“I don’t think there is time. I have already waited too long, and the soldiers may be on their way here as we speak. Do you still want to take me with you to another clan?”
“I must honor my friend. I promised I would protect you now. If what you say is true, we must hurry. Finish bathing and then bring the children to Eagle Eye’s tepee. We will dismantle it and bring it and your belongings with us to wherever we must go. I will take you to Eagle Eye’s burial tree on the way.”
Plenty Proud turned and gazed down into Mackenzie’s eyes. “I am sorry for your loss, but I am happy you came back to be with me. I will miss my friend as much as you will. He gave me the gift of my life, and the gift of the woman we both loved.”
Then Plenty Proud was fastening his breechcloth around his waist and sprinting up the hill towards Eagle Eye’s tepee. Mackenzie was trembling as she watched him leave. She would never see Eagle Eye again. He had been a loving husband to her and a loyal friend to Plenty Proud. She would never forget his kindness.
Mackenzie hastily finished bathing, washed the milk out of her
dress, and then put her clean dress on. She put the wet dress over one arm and scooped up the children bringing them to the tepee, which was already dismantled by the time she got there. She put the children down and started packing everything up. When she was finished, it was placed on a travois. She glanced sadly at the bathtub holding their belongings. She tried to hold the memories at bay of all the times she and Eagle Eye had enjoyed that bathtub. Another travois was placed on the horse, which belonged to the military, and all the blankets and buffalo robes were placed on it, where the children would ride with a small cage put over them. Before they left the village, Plenty Proud hugged his mother and father, explaining to them what their plan was. They were sad to see him go, but they honored his wishes and promised not to tell anyone about Mackenzie returning to the village.
CHAPTER SEVENTEEN
Behind her, the village slowly slipped into the distance, being swallowed up by the shelter of the trees that guarded it on one side, along the river. They had crossed over a shallow part of the river to travel towards the clans living more southward, near Nebraska, whose villages were farther away from the white man’s Fort Meade, housing the soldiers who were ordered by the Great Grandfather of America, which was the name the Indians gave the President, to regulate much of the surrounding land in the Dakota Territory, along with other forts positioned farther north. Fort Randall, which was at the south end of the territory, was positions near the Missouri River, but they intended on keeping a healthy distance from that fort as well. There were Cheyenne, who usually camped close to the Cheyenne River on the south side, who were friends of the Sioux, so therefore, wouldn’t give them any trouble.
The happy giggles, coming from under the cage where the children played with rattles and strings of bells, were the only sounds that filled the vast stretch of space around them, other than the soft clop of the horse’s hooves walking through the tall grass. Mackenzie looked over at Plenty Proud, who sat on Fly Away, looking regale and brave. He had left his wealth of horses behind at the village, telling his mother to distribute them to the poor. Now, he was unusually quite as they rode farther away from the village, which he had remained a part of since his birth. It must be hard for him to leave his parents and all his friends behind, Mackenzie thought. Yet she had left her family and her life, as she knew it, behind to be with him. At least, he would be with his own people, to live free upon the plains for as long as the government would allow, she justified, trying to see a positive side to the situation. Only, at the moment, she felt like a stranger beside him.
They had remained friends during the time she had been Eagle Eye’s wife, but it had been a strained friendship, both almost being afraid of touching each other for fear of where it might lead. They had been pleasant and cordial to one another, mostly as a cover to keep the deeper emotions at bay that threatened to bubble up if they didn’t keep their guard up. Now that Makenzie was free to express her true feelings for Plenty Proud, she didn’t know where to begin. He was taking the wife of a friend…a woman whom he had coveted from the beginning, and that friend had given his life so Plenty Proud could have what he treasured most. Now, the reward felt forbidden, in some way. They both felt guilty, she realized.
She thought of her father and brother and how upset they probably were because she chose the Indians over them. It had been the hardest choice she had ever made, but she had to admit, nothing could replace the love she felt for Plenty Proud, almost at the first moment she had seen him, when she had sprawled at his feet near the trading post.
Mackenzie vividly recalled the last time Plenty Proud had held her in his arms as his lover, bringing her to ecstasy and beyond, yet she had chosen to leave him, not even realizing the strong tie that bound them, which was beyond her own comprehension. Now, she was feeling timid and unsure because Plenty Proud had not spoken to her since they left the river. Maybe he didn’t want her as his wife after all, and was only honoring Eagle Eye’s request that he protect her. Hadn’t he said that was what he was expected to do? A shiver went through her at the thought.
After all the three of them had gone through for each other, and now her reward would be empty. It felt like something stolen and forbidden to enjoy because Eagle Eye had to give his life in order for Plenty Proud and Mackenzie to have the pleasure of being with the other. She knew Eagle Eye had been protecting his friend, and yet she wondered if he could have saved Plenty Proud without giving up his own life. She knew how efficient the Sioux warriors were. It was a raid, not a battle. She wondered if Plenty Proud knew something he wasn’t telling her. Only she was afraid to ask.
They only stopped along the way for Mackenzie to nurse the children and give them biscuits to chew on, which she had made just before her father had come to take her away, and no one had eaten. She and Plenty Proud ate the buffalo jerky, along with their own biscuits, in silence. Then they climbed up on their horses again and continued their journey until the sun started to set, and they stopped to set up camp for the night.
They were not near any water to bathe in, and so the nightly bath was impossible to practice. Instead, they lay under the stars upon a buffalo robe, while the children lay on another buffalo robe beneath the cage, so they would not crawl away in the night. The horses were hobbled, grazing nearby, and only the sound crickets filled the air as fireflies darted about, looking like miniature stars that had escaped their tether to the heavens, blinking on and off.
“Have you met the clan we are to join?” Mackenzie asked softly, wanting to break Plenty Proud’s silence.
“Many clans gather for the Sun Dance at times. We have all met each other at one time or another. We can only choose wives and husbands from a different clan to keep the blood strong, so it is necessary to visit other clans, in order to decide who we wish to be tied with.”
“How far away is their village from here?”
“I don’t know. Like all tribes, they follow the buffalo. Once we get close, I will have to look at the signs to see where the village may have been put. When a village moves, the tracks are easy to follow, and they always try to find a place near water. If we find the remains of their old camp, it will be easier to find where their new camp is at.”
Plenty Proud was silent again, and Mackenzie felt confused and oddly alone because he had not pulled her into his arms like she had expected him to do. They had not touched since she had returned. He seemed distant and indifferent, which made Mackenzie’s heart start to shrivel. And then it dawned on her. He was probably mourning Eagle Eye’s death, the same as she should be doing, considering Eagle Eye had been her husband. He probably expected her to mourn as well. She was not giving Eagle Eye the honor he deserved for the time he had protected her and helped her raise Brave Eyes. She knew the Indians usually mourned for a month, but some women mourned for years if their love was strong for their deceased husband.
She had felt so stunned at hearing about Eagle Eye’s death that it was hard to accept he was actually dead. Her head had been full of her plans to escape with Plenty Proud. The last time she had seen Eagle Eye, he was leaving on a raid. She had never seen his dead body. Even when they had stopped at the tree where he had been placed, it was just buffalo hides wrapped around an object. Maybe she was trying to deny he even died. It was more like he was just away on a journey for a long time, and that was how she wanted to think of him. She had been too caught up in her own desires and her need to be with Plenty Proud to realize that she should take the death of Eagle Eye more seriously, especially since he willingly sacrificed himself for Plenty Proud and, indirectly, for her as well.
She had already resolved to leave Eagle Eye to be with Plenty Proud, and perhaps it made her more indifferent towards his absence. She felt the tears escaping her lids partly from self-shame and coming to the realization of the enormity of the sacrifice that Eagle Eye had made. He had only been focused on her and Plenty Proud’s happiness. He was a true friend and husband and she had not appreciated it the way she should have. She turned away
from Plenty Proud and tried to go to sleep.
They should be comforting each other, she thought sadly, as her shoulders shook, not acting like strangers. Only, perhaps, Indians did not look at things in the same way she did. After all, they refused to cry, unless they were mourning the dead. Only she was mourning more than just her dead husband. She was mourning the loss of all the years she should have been Plenty Proud’s wife with everything fresh and new for them.
He had not asked her to become his wife after she had escaped and returned to him. Maybe he never would. He may decide it was his duty to protect her, and yet never recapture that overwhelming need for each other they had felt in the past. Now it seemed her fulfilment would never be realized.
When Mackenzie awoke, Plenty Proud already had the horses hitched to the travois’ ready to continue on their way. She nursed the children and ate part of a rabbit that had been cooking over the fire. Plenty Proud must have been up at first light and gone hunting. She felt like she wasn’t pulling her own weight. It was the woman who should have skinned the rabbit, cooked the meal, and loaded the travois again. He was treating her almost like the white woman he once thought her to be. Or maybe he was being considerate, thinking she needed time to mourn. She decided she would take that as the explanation.
Another day of riding over vast fields of prairie grass, stopping to tend to the children along the way, and letting them out to play for short periods of time, passed slowly. The conversation between the two was focused on the children as they watched them play, or questions about when Plenty Proud thought they would reach the village. They did not speak of their future life together or about memorable moments from the past. Neither mentioned Little Bird or Eagle Eye, since speaking of the dead was frowned upon unless it had to do with a wise prophet of the past, or some myth about a famous Indian in their ancient history.
Mackenzie’s thoughts went back to the day Plenty Proud had asked her to skin the sacred, white buffalo and what an honor it was supposed to be. She believed it was Plenty Proud’s way of letting her know how much he admired her, only she hadn’t quite understood at the time. He had looked at her with loving eyes back then. Now, his eyes looked stony and resigned.
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