Pia shook her head. ‘I don’t know. I haven’t met him yet but I have seen him and he’s not my type. I mean, he’s beautiful, yes. Graceful even, like a ballet dancer, but I’m not that mad on blond boys. No, I like my rough, tough, old bruiser boy.’ She meant Henry who, with his dark stocky looks, is more rugby player than ballet dancer. He also lives in the staff area at Porchester Park. His dad looks after the fleet of cars in the basement car park. Pia’s been dating him since she moved in and they’re like an old married couple with their regular dates; hanging out at each other’s houses; daily, sometimes hourly, texts. Pia’s love life has always been uncomplicated. Since she was twelve, she’s had three relationships with three great boys: Jake, Dave and Henry (who she’s with now) who didn’t play games or have issues about commitment. She only broke up with the first two because Jake’s family moved to Canada and she and Dave decided that although they loved each other, they weren’t in love. They’ve stayed good mates, all the same. I haven’t even had one proper boyfriend because I always pick boys who don’t know what they want or don’t want a relationship.
I messaged back that Alexei should come on Thursday evening as Meg and Flo would be over. I couldn’t refuse to introduce him to them, it would be mean, but I didn’t feel happy about it. When I first saw Alexei, I thought it was love at first sight but really it was awe at first sight. I hadn’t spent long enough with him to know if we would really get on or even if he was fun to be with. It’s too soon to ask the others to steer clear and say he’s MINE, all MINE, but what if one of them falls for him? Or what if we really hit it off and then Tom or JJ suddenly want to be with me? It’s so difficult. Why can’t I be like Pia and have three boyfriends that come along one after the other, I thought, Not three boys who come along all at the same time and leave me not knowing what’s going on with any of them! Whatever the outcome, I’ve decided that I have to be cool with all of them and not let on that I’m interested because boys, especially ones like Tom, like a challenge.
I went to Keira’s profile but couldn’t see much because I hadn’t added her as a friend yet. Her profile picture was a cartoon fox wearing a tiara so I couldn’t even see what she looked like now.
Pia squeezed next to me on the chair at my desk. ‘You don’t have to add her as a friend, you know,’ she said, as she glanced at the screen.
‘Yes, but she’ll know if I don’t and why shouldn’t I? I mean, I have hundreds of friends on Facebook. Another can’t hurt.’
‘Another like Kiera Oakley could,’ said Pia. ‘Don’t you remember what we used to say? KO, the opposite of OK. Anyway, the number of friends you have isn’t a competition.’
‘I know.’ I kept meaning to go through my friends on Facebook and take off the people I hardly knew. When I first joined, like everyone else, it was a frenzy to see how many friends I could get up to. Now, a year on, I’m not so sure I want everyone seeing my private photos and status updates. Pia’s been through and thinned hers down to her real friends. As usual, I’m worried about hurting people’s feelings so still have hundreds of friends I hardly know – plus it’s a buzz seeing my list grow. It makes me feel popular. But Keira? I’d always felt uncomfortable around her. We used to hang out because she lived three doors down from where I used to live when Mum was alive and was often round at our house or at my gran’s when I was over there. She might have changed, I told myself. Four years is a long time.
‘I remember how I felt when I first came to Porchester Park, Pia. I remember being the outsider. Keira might need friends.’
Pia pulled a face. ‘Pff,’ she said as I pressed to confirm Keira as a friend and messaged her back.
Sure we can meet up. Let me know when or where and welcome back to not so sunny England. Jess X
Pia looked at the screen over my shoulder and grimaced again. ‘I bet she hasn’t asked me to be her friend. She always knew I’d got her measure. You’re too softhearted, Jess.’
‘It was years ago. She might have changed,’ I said. Actually, part of me was intrigued by Keira. She had an edge, even felt a bit dangerous. She always used to dare me to do mad things, like one time at a sleep-over when we were about nine, she’d encouraged me to creep downstairs with her after her mum and dad had gone to bed and go and do the Highland fling on the pavement outside. Pia stayed inside but I went. I remember cars going past and drivers looking out at us as if we were bonkers. A neighbour reported us to the police, who turned up and gave us a telling-off, and Mum was well mad, saying anybody could have stopped and picked us up. Keira thought it was hysterical.
‘And remember Michael,’ Pia continued.
I shrugged, but I hadn’t forgotten about Michael. He was my first love and she’d stolen him from me. We were only eleven but even then I knew the rules – that friends came first and that if a friend liked a boy and publicly declared it then it was hands off. Everyone knew I liked Michael Jones. I’d had a crush on him for ages but then one night, I was walking home with Pia from school and there he was, with Keira outside her gate, and she had her arms around his neck. I watched as she kissed him, then glanced over his shoulder at me with a challenging look, like, are you going to make something of it? I felt like someone had slapped me. I didn’t let on, though. Instead I stuffed my rucksack up my dress, staggered over to them and groaned, ‘Michael, how could you do this to me when I’m having your baby?’ They both cracked up. That was me, Jess, the good sport, what a good joke, a laugh. No-one but Pia knew I was gutted and cried for weeks after.
‘That was years ago, P,’ I said. ‘We were kids and I wouldn’t go near Michael now if you paid me. He’s so full of himself and not the least bit fanciable any more so really she did me a favour and saved me from a disaster. It can’t do any harm to meet up. Everyone deserves a second chance.’
‘Just don’t let her near the big three.’
‘The big three?’
‘JJ, Alexei or Tom. She’ll try and get off with them just to prove that she can.’
‘No reason why she’d meet them. I can go and meet her somewhere like the mall, far away from here. She’s not likely to go to our school and she’s not exactly likely to meet the Porchester Park residents unless I bring her back and that’s not going to happen.’
Pia raised an eyebrow and gave me a knowing look. ‘Your choice, but I think that girl is, and always was, bad news.’
A nagging feeling told me that Pia was right. Maybe I should have thought twice about agreeing to meet Keira but, too late, the message had already gone. It’ll be fine, I told myself. We’ll meet, have a catch up, job done.
The encounter came sooner than I’d reckoned. I was coming out of school the next day and there was Keira standing outside the gate. She looked amazing. She’d grown as tall as me and had great legs shown off by thick tights worn under denim shorts and paired with grey suede Ugg boots. Her dark red hair was cut into glossy layers which fell to her shoulders and showed off her heart-shaped face, great cheekbones and wide mouth that she’d painted a pillar box red. I saw a few guys from the Sixth Form check her out as they came out and I prayed that Tom wouldn’t be one of them. He’d be well interested in her if he saw her. She looked one hundred per cent bad girl – just the sort of challenge he’d love.
‘Hey, you,’ she said, as she spotted Pia and me. She flashed a big smile at me and blanked Pia. ‘I remembered where your gran lived, so I called in and she told me which school you went to now.’
‘Er, yeah. Hey, Keira,’ I said. ‘Um. How was Australia?’
She shrugged a shoulder. ‘Hot. Wild.’
Pia pushed her way forward. ‘Yeah, hi, Keira. Remember me? I remember you.’ She said the last part like a warning.
Keira laughed. ‘So you two still hang out?’
‘Best friends forever,’ said Pia.
Keira gave her a fake smile. ‘Aw, sweet.’
‘Are you back for good?’ asked Pia.
Keira shrugged again. ‘For a couple of months. Mum was desperate to see her family. It’
s so not fair that I had to be dragged along as well just to see a load of stuffy old aunts. But at least we’re back at the old house. It was only rented while we were away.’
‘So you’ve seen some of the neighbours?’ I asked.
‘Some. Seems a lot’s changed.’
She must have heard that my mum died just over a year ago but she didn’t say anything, even though she’d known her. It didn’t surprise me. I was getting used to people’s different reactions. A lot of people just didn’t know what to say. One neighbour even crossed the street when she saw Charlie and me, rather than mention it.
‘Want to grab a coffee, catch up?’ she asked.
I looked at Pia. ‘Can’t,’ she said. ‘Got drama.’
‘What about you, Jess?’
I’d arranged to see JJ in the spa for swimming practice but I felt myself hesitate. I didn’t want to tell Keira in case she decided to tag along.
‘Jess has got swimming practice at the local baths,’ Pia lied for me. ‘Go on, Jess, you’d better hurry. You know what Mr Bennie’s like if you’re late.’
‘So you’re still swimming?’ asked Keira in a way that said, how totally uncool.
‘She’s the school champion,’ said Pia.
‘Really?’ said Keira with a half-laugh. ‘School champion. Well done you.’
That mocking laugh and tone of voice. It all came flooding back. Maybe she hadn’t changed after all. Keira had always been able to reduce whatever I did to nothing, with just a look or a comment. If I was reading something, she’d pick up the book then give me a look as if to say, you’re reading this? Sometimes she’d look at what I was wearing and, just with a glance, make me feel like I’d picked the wrong outfit or colours. Now I remembered, I hadn’t just felt uncomfortable around her, I’d felt insignificant.
‘Actually, she’s brilliant,’ said Pia. ‘A total star.’
But Keira appeared not to be listening and was watching people pour out of school. Please don’t let Tom come out, I prayed. Please don’t let Tom come out. Too late, I could see his tousled head in the distance.
Pia saw him too and went into action. ‘Right, got to go. You too, Jess. Bye, Kiera, nice seeing you. Why not walk to the bus stop with Jess? Yeah. Ah, there it is, your bus, Jess, better run.’
I looked behind her to see my bus approaching. I glanced over at Keira. ‘I really do have to go. I’ll catch you later, on Facebook, yeah?’
Behind her, I saw Pia roll her eyes and mime, ‘Noooooooo.’
Keira shrugged. ‘Sure, go if you have to.’ She did her half-laugh again. ‘After four years, you’ve got to go to swim practice. Fine, you go. Whatever. See ya, Jess.’
She began to walk away in the same direction that Tom had gone. Please, please, don’t let them meet, I thought as I ran for the bus. As I got on and took a seat, I felt bad. Now not only do I feel uncomfortable and insignificant, I thought, I also feel guilty and mean and selfish. She’d come all the way to see me. She’d made an effort. She was right. We hadn’t seen each other for four years. I could have texted JJ to rearrange.
As the bus took off again, Tom spotted me looking out of the window. He blew me a kiss. If only you meant it, I thought. A short distance away, I saw Keira watching. She turned to see who I was looking at, just at the moment that Tom clocked her. A slow smile appeared on his face. New blood, I knew that’s what he’d be thinking, but Keira turned and began to walk in the opposite direction. Arghhh, I thought as my bus turned the corner, Arghh, arghh, arghh.
3
JJ
After my swim with JJ, I got the OK to use the changing rooms from Pia’s mum then quickly headed over there. They had Jo Malone products, huge white fluffy towels and walk-in state-of-the-art showers. I’d be mad not to take the opportunity to relish the luxury. The pool is for residents only. I’m the only staff relative who’s officially allowed to use it and Pia and I use the changing room facilities unofficially because her mum lets us sneak in occasionally when no-one’s around. Today, after my encounter with Keira, I really felt the need for some by-myself chill time to chew it all over. The fact that I’m allowed in the pool is down to JJ. What a resident wants, a resident gets at Porchester Park and he’d wanted a swimming partner to pace him. When I was asked if I’d mind, I’d laughed – like, mind? No way. I felt like I’d won a prize. JJ always goes back up to his family’s apartment to shower afterwards, so as soon as the place was empty, my plan was to have a beauty sesh and relax. I’d planned a long aromatic shower and hair wash then a pore cleanse in the sauna. My skin and hair really needed it. My period was due and I was feeling like Queen Blob, plus my skin was all pasty with a threatening chin spot. Not my best look for spending time with anyone, never mind a boy I fancied, so I’m glad that JJ wasn’t going to be hanging about. It’s OK when we’re in the water because it’s head down and only come up for air, and he’d be long gone by the time I emerged.
‘Hey, Jess, fancy a drink?’ JJ called through the changing room door.
‘Wha . . .’ Oh no, I thought as I took in my reflection in the mirrored walls. I looked like Shrek. Nooooo. ‘Drink? You mean later? Where?’
I peeked out and JJ indicated the empty swimming area around which were a number of wooden loungers with cushions. ‘Here. Now. What do you fancy and I’ll put an order in.’
‘I . . . Oh.’ I couldn’t think up an excuse fast enough. ‘Um. OK. Hot chocolate, please. That would be fab.’
‘OK, get a robe and see you out here in five.’
I cursed that I hadn’t brought my lipgloss or any make-up and wondered whether to dash upstairs and get some. I decided not to – he’d see I’d put makeup on and it might look like I was trying too hard. I quickly dried off my hair a little, pulled it up into a ponytail, donned one of the white robes from the changing room and went back out. A drink. That was close to a date and I couldn’t help but feel a rush of anticipation when I saw JJ was stretched out on one of the loungers wearing a similar robe to my own. Unlike me, he looked in great condition, like he’d just stepped out of a page of Vogue for Men. He patted the lounger next to him.
‘What’s the occasion?’ I asked as I sat next to him and turned away slightly so he couldn’t see just how shiny-faced I was.
‘No occasion. I just wanted to hang out. We never talk much when we swim.’
‘No,’ I said. Say something else, something interesting, I told myself as I looked at his handsome face. He had lovely deep brown eyes and great cheekbones. I cursed that my brain had gone blank. I’d fantasised about this moment for so long – alone with JJ, chatting away, bowling him over with my wit – but now I couldn’t think of anything to say. ‘So . . . Yes. No. I guess we don’t talk much. No matter. Conversation is overrated.’
JJ laughed. ‘That’s a line from a movie, isn’t it? The hero says that then leans over and kisses the heroine.’
I felt myself redden. In fact, I could probably have heated the whole of the spa with my blush. Was he going to lean over and kiss me? No. He hadn’t moved in my direction and no way did I look like the heroine from any movie except a horror film. ‘A line? Is it? Not a movie I’ve seen, I don’t think. Er . . . Cold out, isn’t it?’ Argh. Shut up Jess, I thought. The weather. How could I talk about that? How boring. He’ll think I’m so dull.
‘Yeah. Quite a change from California but it’s nice to have the seasons like you do over here.’ He was so polite, as always.
We sat in silence for a few minutes. My brain was doing a scan of topics to talk about. Something to make me sound sophisticated, fascinating. ‘So, JJ. Do you like curry?’ I blurted. Curry! For God’s sake, Jess. Nooooooo, shut up, shut up, my mind screamed at me.
JJ burst out laughing, then gave me a quizzical look. ‘Yeah, I like curry. You?’
I shook my head. ‘Not really. Um. Ever been to India?’
‘Actually, yes, I have. A couple of times. It’s amazing. Full of colour. Everywhere you look there’s a photo just waiting to be taken. You be
en?’
‘No. I saw a programme about it once, though.’ Hell. This wasn’t going well. With every sentence, I was proving myself to be a loser, confirming that I was not in his world, worse than that, I was deadly boring, a person who lived through the telly instead of getting out there and experiencing life first-hand. And a person who doesn’t like curry.
‘How’s school life?’ asked JJ.
‘Same ole. Lots of extra homework at the moment.’
JJ shifted on his lounger. ‘Er . . . That boy Tom goes to your school, doesn’t he?’
I nodded. ‘Tom Robertson. Yeah. In the Sixth Form.’
‘Alisha told me you liked him.’
Remind me to kill her, I thought. ‘Everyone likes Tom,’ I said. ‘He’s very popular.’
‘Yeah. I met him, remember? At the swimming championship.’
‘Oh yes.’
‘He’s very handsome.’
‘Uh.’
‘And he seems fun.’
‘Yes.’
‘And very confident. Is he with anyone at the moment?’
I wondered why he was asking about Tom and then it hit me.
Ohmigod. Of course. JJ’s gay, I thought. Of course he is. He’s too good to be true. Smells gorgeous. Immaculate dress sense. Charming. Sensitive . . .
But he had a girl with him on his Christmas holiday, my inner voice reminded me.
Yes but, it didn’t work out. He might have just realised he’s gay and it was Tom that did it. Not surprising. Oh bummer. Another good man bites the dust. Why oh why are all the good ones gay? But at least that narrows my list down to Tom or Alexei – although Tom’s not really an option so Alexei it is, that is if we get on. Blimey, my mind is racing . . .
‘Jess?’
‘Yes?’
‘Did you hear what I said?’
‘Yes. No. Sorry. What did you say?’
‘Is Tom your boyfriend?’
‘Hell no. Tom doesn’t do relationships. He has half the school after him.’
‘You included?’
Catwalk Queen Page 2
