by Abbi Glines
“He has older brothers. Seeing him reminded me of one of them.” I admitted only what I could.
She sighed. “Lord there’s more of them? That one seemed real determined about something though. Left here looking defeated.”
I finally tore my eyes off the parking space the Sutton farm truck had left vacant.
“It’s my best friend’s wedding today,” I told Ethel. “She’s marrying the oldest brother. I loved the next two. They’re twins. I caused a lot of pain.”
Ethel let out a low whistle. “That sure sounds like a hot mess. What brought that one out here to see you? He worried you’ll show up at the wedding?”
I shook my head. “He thinks I should be there. For Dixie, the bride. Says his brothers can handle it now. The one I hurt the worst has moved on. The other . . . well you never know with him. He’s dark, closed off, often detached, and can be possessive, passionate, wild . . . he’s special.” When I was with him, my soul wasn’t so tarnished.
Ethel patted my back. “Sounds like you need to go on and get ready for a wedding. I reckon your friend would want you there. Make her day even more special. And from the sounds of that boy, you might be the charm that tames him. It’s one of them things in life you gamble with. He could break you in a thousand pieces or make your world brighter than a fireworks display. The best ones are never easy.”
I wanted to be there for Dixie. I’d lived my entire life in that town. She’d been the first real friend I’d ever had. Other girls wouldn’t invite me over. Their mothers talked about mine. They whispered. They kept their daughters from me. And I understood why. Dixie was the first person in my world to make me feel normal. I had been away seven months. I’d shown myself that I wasn’t weak. I was strong. I could go back to that town. Face the demons there waiting to grab me. Stand strong. Smile. Pretend it’s all okay. And leave after the wedding. For Dixie.
“I’ll be back tomorrow,” I said before I could change my mind.
“You better not be. I’ll see you in three days. Take your time. Make the decision you won’t regret. Not the one you think is safest.”
I turned and hugged Ethel. “If it was only that easy,” I whispered. “Thank you for letting me go.”
Ethel hugged me back tightly. “We all have regrets honey. There’s always a chance for redemption. And not just with the good Lord.”
If it was only regret, I’d have gone back long ago. My redemption wasn’t in a Lord I’d never gotten help from as a child begging him to rescue me. My redemption was Ethel and this job. Maybe even that tiny camper I called home.
“Thanks, Ethel,” I said taking off my apron and handing it to her.
“Go on with your self now. Drive safe,” she replied.
With one last fake smile I headed to the door.
“Where’s she going?” Netty called from the kitchen window. “I got three orders up!”
“I’m taking her place. She’s got some fixin’ to do,” Ethel replied.
“Lord help us,” Netty replied and turned away.
I didn’t wait around for my good sense to come back. While I had the nerve to go, I needed to make a move. Heading for my car, I reached inside my pocket and pulled out my phone. Calling my mother wasn’t something I wanted to do, not that she was concerned that I left in the first place. Going to that house was the very last thing I wanted to do. She had called me once to ask if I’d taken a pair of her diamond earrings. She hung up on me when I said no. I had called and left my new number on her voicemail months before she made that call.
The man I called my father also had this number but he never reached out to me. He had never shown concern for my life from the moment I was born. He always traveled. He was a stranger to me. Even when he would return home he was absent to my world. He kept himself locked away in his office. Working. Ignoring life around him. Until the day came that he had to face the truth. Only then did he help me.
“Hello.” My mother sounded like she was still in bed. It was nine. I should have expected this. She normally slept until the afternoon.
“I’ll be there in three hours to get dressed. I need some clothes I left behind.” There was a good chance she’d have a man there. Possibly having sex on my former bed. The things I accepted from her as normal.
I heard her yawn and stretch. “Scarlet?”
“Yes,” I replied annoyed. Who else would it be? Thankfully, I was the only child brought into the world by her.
“What are you doing?” She was confused.
“I told you. I am coming by to get dressed. It’s Dixie’s wedding today.”
She sighed and mumbled something to someone. I waited.
“I think all your shit I didn’t have sent to the dump is boxed up. Stashed in the back storage,” she grumbled.
Responding to this was pointless. I should be thankful all of it hadn’t been trashed. At least I had something in storage. Although there was a possibility it could be moldy or mildewed.
“Locks have been changed to the house,” she continued. “The code is still the same.” Abruptly, the call ended. That was it. Nothing more. No questions or explanations.
I dropped the phone to the passenger seat. There was a numbness that came when dealing with my mother. It was a coping mechanism. I’d read about it.
Determined, I headed north. Back to the world I ran from. The mess I created and left behind. The heaviness that hung over that town making my chest hurt to breathe. Only there, the nightmares came to me while I was awake. I’d been away long enough to pretend less and forget. There was no forgetting once I entered the town limits.
I focused on the reason I was going. I thought about calling Dixie and letting her know I was on my way to prepare her for my sudden appearance. She would worry and I didn’t want to ruin her day. I just wanted to be there. I wasn’t sure if I would hide to secretly watch her before she walked down the aisle, or walk in like everyone else. I had three hours to play the scenarios through in my head. Planning would be what kept me sane and held me together.
If it hadn’t been for the guilt, I’d be working right now. Dealing with old men, burnt tourists, and potato salad. Dallas had to show up and give me the extra push to do the right thing.
Once I passed the Moulton welcome sign I turned left instead of going to that house I had finally escaped. I didn’t need anything from her. If I could go the rest of my life without seeing that house again I’d be fine.
The thrift store inside the Moulton Circle shopping center was open. I had ten dollars to spare. I hoped I could find something that didn’t smell of mothballs or dirty laundry.
Bray Sutton
EVERY MOTHERFUCKING REDHEAD caused a sharp kick in my gut. My head knew it wasn’t her but dammit if my heart didn’t seem to care. I reacted the same way every time. I couldn’t fuck a redhead anymore. Once. I had tried once. It was a fail. I’d had to walk away before I physically got ill.
All I could see was Scarlet. All I wanted was Scarlet. I was moving on physically just to shut everyone up, but my head wasn’t in it. My heart wasn’t in the equation because that fucking organ didn’t work properly. Scarlet had made me feel something. And that screwed it all up.
Asher was standing at the window in Dixie’s living room looking out at the people filling the chairs outside. I knew almost all the faces. They were this town. I wondered if the streets were empty because everyone had gathered in Dixie’s yard.
“That’s a hellalot of folks out there,” I said as I sat down on the sofa. “Sit down. You’re about to be standing in this uncomfortable bullshit you’ve got us dressed up for far too long.” I added the last bit just to get a rise out of him.
Asher’s head swung in my direction, his face plastered with the scowl I expected. Grinning I propped my right foot up on the coffee table.
“It’s not that bad. Don’t be an asshole.” He sounded disappointed with me.
I shrugged. “You’re just in love and all that sappy shit. This motherfucker sucks as
s.”
Asher grunted and turned back to the crowd. “I get afraid”—Asher changed the subject, ignoring me—“that this isn’t real. That I’m going to wake up and still be living the hell I survived without her. Is it allowed to be this damn happy?”
I wasn’t sentimental or emotional. Rolling my eyes was my first response but I refrained. “Are you seriously asking me this?” We both knew I wasn’t the brother to go to for comfort. Brent was better built for this.
He chuckled. “Yeah, I guess I am.” He kept watching out the window though. Not looking my way. “You love her, Bray. You just don’t recognize it because that isn’t an emotion you’re familiar with.”
It was my turn to ignore him. “How long does this thing take? I need a beer.”
Asher sighed. He shifted his gaze to me and said, “You snapped. Lost it. The . . . darkness that you get in your eyes was there. I’ve only seen you reach that level a handful of times. Each time it was because someone you loved was involved. The time Dallas came home from school with a black eye because that senior had beat him up for his smartass mouth. You almost killed that guy.”
I stopped him. I knew the stories. I remembered why I had gone off. “Dallas was twelve. That cocksucker deserved it.”
“I didn’t say he didn’t. What I am saying is you only react that way to protect someone you love.”
I glared at him. “I changed my mind. I want a goddamn whiskey.”
Asher smirked. “One day you’ll have to accept it.” He moved away from the window as the door behind us opened.
“Did y’all invite the whole damn county?” Dallas asked.
“Ten minutes, bro. You ready?” Brent walked up to us, all smiles. Living in his happy world.
Steel was the quiet one, no different today. He had loved Dixie once too. I wondered if he always would. A little. No one talked about that though. It was done. Over. It was the same for them pretending Brent and I hadn’t almost killed each other over Scarlet.
Asher was grinning. “Yeah, I’m ready.”
“Good because her daddy has paid a fortune for this thing. Have you seen the food?” Dallas was excited and amazed. “I’m gonna eat for hours.”
“Just have to survive standing out there in the damn tux first,” I said.
Steel shot me a warning glance from where he stood across the room.
“They’re not that bad,” Brent said as he took the seat across from me.
I didn’t respond. If they all wanted to lie and pretend that we were fucking comfortable, that Steel wasn’t hurting a little, and that it was wrong Scarlet wasn’t here, fine. But I wasn’t going to fucking pretend.
“Dixie wanted something small. It grew as her mom and dad got more involved. She wanted them to be happy, so she went with it.”
“Sweetest bride I’ve ever seen. Aren’t they supposed to be bitches? There’s a show about it or something,” Brent drawled
Everyone turned to look at Brent after that comment. He shrugged. “There is. Don’t tell me y’all haven’t seen the damn commercials,” he said defensively.
“Dix has never been a bitch.” Dallas only stated what everyone already knew.
“Steel will disagree. He called her one loudly when he was drunk on main street once,” I added since they all wanted to act like that shit didn’t happen. All this jolly happiness annoyed me.
“Jesus, Bray. For once use a filter,” Brent said angrily.
“Only pointing out the facts.” I smirked.
“It’s okay.” Steel walked toward us like we were about to tie up and start swinging right there. “He’s right. I did. I was hurt. I was drunk. That was a different time. Dixie has never been a bitch, but I was a jerk. I was also selfish. I knew who she loved. I wouldn’t let her go even knowing I wasn’t her first choice. I was wrong. I made it right though,” Steel paused and turned his gaze to Asher. “And today, I get to watch the brother who has never had one selfish motive when it comes to us marry the girl he was meant for. I’m happy for you. No one needs to doubt that.”
Asher stood there only a moment before moving toward Steel. They hugged. Mushy shit. I needed that whiskey.
“If I get called a pussy by any of you for crying I will beat your fucking ass. I am bigger than all of you now. You don’t want any of this,” Dallas said as he wiped a tear away.
Asher laughed, and I saw the unshed tears in his eyes. They were all a bunch of pussies.
“Don’t,” Brent muttered.
I looked at him and he stared back at me. “Don’t. Whatever you are thinking . . . don’t say it.”
I laughed bitterly. “Whatever.” I stood up to put some distance between the emotional outbursts and see the crowd for myself.
“Ten minutes.” Brent smiled.
“Woohoo!” Dallas cheered.
I ignored their ridiculously happy sentiments and studied the crowd. They were all seated now. It was packed. Standing room only. They would all see the beautiful bride and believe in the fairytale that they’d watched unfold. If anyone deserved a fairy tale, it was Asher. I wanted them to have their day and to be happy. I just fucking hated that no one seemed to care that Dixie’s best friend wasn’t here. No one noticed her absence. It was as if Scarlet had never existed.
I caught flash of red hair wading through the crowd, jolting when I thought it might be her. I scowled and cursed myself. Always. I did it every time. I didn’t stand there a minute longer, trying to see more of the girl attached to the hair because there was no point. The girl was never who I wanted it to be.
Scarlet
IT WAS SILLY to think everyone knew what had happened between the Sutton twins and me, but it felt as if they did. I was sure many had heard about the night outside of Jack’s when Bray decided he would no longer watch me be with Brent. His decision had been as terrifying as it was thrilling. It shouldn’t have been thrilling, but Bray had made a move and claimed me. He’d never said he loved me, but he had called me his. I’d never been claimed. Most of my life I lived clinging to the only semblance of security I had. Afraid that at any moment it would be gone.
The ache that came with thoughts of Bray returned. We never had a chance to be happy and I knew we never would. Shaking my head to clear it, I scolded myself mentally. I’d come to the wedding to see Dixie. I was here to watch my best friend get married. When it was over I’d find her, congratulate her, tell her I loved her, and would be on my way. She didn’t need my drama spoiling her special day. It was the only reason I hadn’t gone to see her before she walked down the aisle.
I wasn’t going to give her something to worry about when she should be enjoying every moment of her important day. She’d planned it in her head a million times for as long as I had known her. Now her dream was coming true and it would be perfect. Asher would make sure of that.
“Haven’t seen you around. Where’ve you been?” Hannah Watson leaned forward from the row of seats behind me and whispered close to my ear. I’d noticed her when I sat down. The smile I gave her should have been enough. There was no reason for us to speak. We weren’t friends. I had a memory of her in the second grade laughing at me on parent’s day when I was the only child with no parent present. We had spent days preparing. Our teacher had us cook the meal we would feed them. All the time I knew my parents weren’t coming. I didn’t like Hannah since then, even if she had only been eight at the time. Besides why was she here?
I turned to look at her and respond politely when my eyes locked with Dallas Sutton’s. He was standing on the front porch and was staring directly at me. The smile on his face was genuine and I was sure his was the only smile I would receive from a Sutton boy today. He gave me a slight nod of his head to let me know he was pleased I had come.
If he hadn’t drove to Robertsdale this morning, I don’t know if I would have gotten the courage to be here. Something about knowing that one Sutton boy thought I should be here gave me the added nudge I needed. Reminded me of what was important.
I
heard Hannah say something else and although I wasn’t sure what she was saying, I was reminded I hadn’t responded to her nosy ass comments. I broke eye contact with Dallas and focused on Hannah. “I moved,” was all I said trying to hold my tight smile. I turned back around not checking to see if Dallas was still there and if he was alone. They’d all know soon enough I was here.
The only person who mattered, the only person who would possibly be angry was Bray. Brent too, but not the way Bray would be. I’d run from the disaster I’d created in their eyes. Neither knew that losing Bray and hurting Brent would send me back into the darkness. Bray’s presence in my life had held it back. When we were together, there was calmness.
The music changed and the whispering around the guests stopped. Eyes shifted toward the house and the door opened. Out walked Asher Sutton. He was tall, beautiful, and the smile on his face was genuine. He wasn’t nervous. There were no second thoughts for him. No doubts. He knew his life was with Dixie. I envied them both.
Asher was a good guy. Noble, steadfast, sturdy. You never doubted him. He was selfless. He was dependable. He was better looking than any one man should be. Dixie had chosen well. I was happy knowing she would always be taken care of and loved so completely.
I held my breath as the next brother stepped through the door. I thought there was a good chance it was Bray. It wasn’t though. It was Steel. That surprised me. I hadn’t imagined he’d be the brother standing next to Asher today. After all they had been through with Dixie I figured one of the twins would be in that spot. Steel looked at peace. He didn’t look broken or pained.
The next brother to step out was Brent. I knew them apart even from a distance. Their expressions, eyes, and stance were nothing alike. The friendly, happy gleam in Brent’s eyes was his alone. He didn’t see the world the way his twin did. It was as if he had been given all the joy, and because of that he never could understand me.
My nails bit into my palms as they fisted at my sides, anxiety making my heart pound in my chest. Bray would be next, I knew. My entire body knew and I was having a hard time inhaling. It had been so long since I’d seen him. As much as I wanted to, I was also scared that a panic attack was right there about to grab me and this was not the place for it to happen.
