When I was putting everything up for the night, Mariah came in to let me know she was leaving and I nodded, barely acknowledging her.
“Sir?” she asked, making me stop and look at her.
“Yes?” I didn’t know why she insisted on calling me sir, but it was another issue I’d grown tired of addressing. She was stubborn, and really it wasn’t all that uncommon of a term outside of the BDSM community.
“It’s just…” She trailed off and ducked her head.
“What is it?” I grew aggravated with the delay.
“It’s just your… hair.” She smiled shyly.
I frowned and ran my hands through my hair to fix whatever was wrong with it.
“Here let me.” She held up a hand cautiously and I sighed and gave a slight nod. Whatever would make her let me finish up faster.
She stepped behind me and I tilted my head back so she could reach my hair more easily, since she was shorter than me even with her huge heels on. Her hand glided through my hair once, twice, and I felt a slight brush on my neck. I stepped away from her.
“That’s fine. I’ll fix it later.” I returned to my paperwork. I looked up as she walked toward the door.
“See you tomorrow, sir.”
I shook my head at her as I wrapped up for the day. Only moments later, I locked up and headed to meet Alix. She was waiting with a smile on her face when I entered the lobby. I couldn’t help but return the look of joy.
“Precious,” I said, and immediately took her into my arms. It was like taking the first deep breath I’d been able to get since I’d left her in the morning. “I missed you.”
“Mmm, me too,” she sighed, holding me as tightly as I held her.
“Let’s go before I take you upstairs, or we’ll never make it out tonight.” It was generally what happened. We’d go straight upstairs, barely making it in the door before we were naked enough to fuck against the wall or floor or any other surface that happened to be near. The few times we went to her house it was only after we’d gone to my apartment for a round or two and to pick up a change of clothes for me since I’d be spending the night at her place. We couldn’t keep our hands off each other, even when we weren’t having sex. If I had to work, she would have her feet in my lap while watching a movie. Our feet played when we ate and talked. I had to feel her against me in one way or another when we were together.
Threading my fingers with hers, we headed to my car. We each talked about our day as we drove to the club. I hadn’t told her where we were headed, but seemed to know from the way she squirmed in her seat more and more the closer we got.
“Mmm, it’s been a while. I was wondering if you were ever going to bring me back here.” She nodded toward the club when I pulled in the parking lot.
“Did you want to come back?” I held my breath waiting for her answer. If she said no, we’d leave, but I really wanted to take her inside, have her out of her element again.
“Yes, Master. I have been dreaming about it.” Her voice was soft, yet easy to hear in the confines of the car.
“Then let’s go see what I have planned for you.” I jumped from the car and opened her door for her. Placing my hand on the small of her back, we walked side by side into the club. She willingly handed over her purse before we went to my room. I stopped her in the small dressing room. “Prepare yourself for me here. You have two minutes to be on the square.”
She nodded and was stripping out of her work clothes before I closed the door to the rest of the room. I went to the other side of the room and removed my coat. Not thirty seconds later she was entered with her head bowed. She moved in her heels to the padded square and knelt down. In just her garter belt, thigh highs and heels she looked fantastic and my cock answered by filling with blood and throbbing. Her hair was down, hanging loose, sensually dancing along her skin.
I grabbed the collar I’d only used on her once before and moved to stand in front of her. She still wore my pearls, but I craved a thicker, more obvious sign she was taken. Stepping behind her, I dragged my finger from shoulder to shoulder, pulling her hair along to drape it over one. I secured the thick black collar around her neck tightly enough that it almost cut off her breathing, but not quite. That pleasure was all mine when I chose to use it.
“Take off my shoes,” I instructed her as I moved back in front of her. I preferred to scene barefoot. She carefully removed one, then the other, before dropping her hands back to her thighs. “Socks too.”
Once she’d taken them off, I helped her to her feet and looked right into her beautiful eyes. I couldn’t stand to look at the top of subs’ heads and didn’t know why other Doms would want to.
“Remove my cufflinks.” I held up each hand in turn for her to remove them. Setting them on the nearby dresser, I rolled my sleeves up my forearms, then hooked a metal chain to the front of Alix’s collar. “Come.”
I led her to the main play room, which was filled with people.
There were many seating areas, but I wasn’t much for conversation when I had my sexy sub with me. Instead, I led her to a large wooden cross. A couple was currently using it, so I sat and pulled Alix into my lap. The last time we’d watched people use the cross Alix had gotten so excited, I didn’t mind waiting our turn.
“A little show before it’s your turn up there,” I told her, rubbing a palm up and down her leg, teasing the skin at the top of her thigh highs. “Watch them. See if you can figure out what I have in mind for you.”
It was part of what I missed about the club. The ability to watch and be watched. Alix loved it almost as much as I did. By the time the couple exited the stage, she was wiggling on my lap, rubbing against my erection. Unluckily for her, I’d taken a few moments in the bathroom at work to jerk off just before I started getting ready to leave so I wasn’t so on edge when we played.
While my control was strong, I also knew my limitations, and Alix was good at pushing them when she let me completely dominate her.
Taking hold of the leash, I led her to the cross with her facing it.
“Hands up.” I restrained her wrists with the leather straps attached to the top before pushing her feet farther apart with my own. Her ankles were secured with the ones on the bottom, keeping her in a perfect X to torment. I stepped back and smiled while drinking her in. Perfection — well, almost. I only needed to bring some color to her pale skin and it really would be. I grabbed a flogger that was nearby for just such a use. It was thin-strapped and would sting more than the thicker ones.
We didn’t have a safeword. I didn’t work that way. No was no and would always be in my world.
I stepped close to her, feeling the heat of her penetrate my shirt. Normally I took it off, but the feel of her skin on mine was always distracting. I wanted nothing deterring my plans, even myself.
When I planted a soft kiss on her neck, she moaned and canted her head slightly to offer more skin to me. I rubbed my erection against her before moving back again. Softly, I trailed the end of the leather over her skin and smirked when she shivered, goosebumps popping out over every inch of her flesh.
After trailing the ends of the flogger over her a few times, I brought it down with a sharp flick of my wrist. Instantly a lovely blush bloomed over her back and she groaned. Spreading my feet, I picked up a comfortable eight pattern as I covered her upper back, arms and buttocks. Her cries of pain turned to moans of pleasure as she found subspace. I stopped when my shoulder started to ache. The flogger had turned her skin a bright red and would likely even leave a few bruises. The sight had my cock hard and pulsing against my zipper while leaving a damp spot where its eagerness seeped out.
I released the straps from her ankles first; she moved them unsteadily under her as I moved to undo the ones around her wrists. Once she was free, I scooped her into my arms. Her head rested against my chest right where I wanted it; I carried her back to my room and settled her on the bed. Removing my shirt, I climbed in next to her and gently caressed her back while rubbing
on some ointment that would help reduce the soreness the next day.
Eventually, she came around and looked up to smile at me. I brushed stray hair off her face and kissed her lips softly.
“Welcome back, Precious.”
“Mmm, I love when you make me soar,” she murmured in a sleepy voice. It always took a while to fully come back to yourself so I kept touching her, easing her way.
“I love to make you fly, baby. Hell, I just love when you hand your control over to me. It’s absolutely the most exciting thing you could ever do to me.”
“Well, I don’t have to try to excite you in other ways then.” She smiled as she said it and I laughed softly at her.
“You excite me with everything you do, but that doesn’t mean you should stop trying to find something new you want to try out on me.” There was plenty we hadn’t done when it came to BDSM, but when it came to anything vanilla I was pretty sure we had that covered. I welcomed her presenting something she wanted to try, as she had yet to request something or say she specifically wanted a particular act. While I liked to be in control, I wanted her to know nothing was off-limits for me. I would do anything to keep her happy and in my arms.
Lost in my own thoughts, I was jolted when she yanked herself away from me. I looked at her, surprised and a bit shocked at the sudden move. She sat up in the bed and pulled the sheet over her body, which she had never done before in my presence.
“What’s wrong?” I asked, looking around the room to see what had caused the sudden change.
“You have lipstick on your neck.” Every muscle in her body grew taut as her eyes locked on my neck and her eyes turned ice cold.
“What?”
“Lipstick. On your neck. Who has been kissing your neck? I know it wasn’t me. I didn’t have lipstick on today and I haven’t kissed your neck. I didn’t notice it before when you picked me up so it must have been under your collar.” She moved off the bed, yanking the sheet with her as she moved away from me. Accusation was clear in her stance, but I was truly lost. I didn’t know how it got there and I didn’t think she’d take that for an excuse.
“I have no idea. Really. Baby, come back to bed so we can talk about this,” I pleaded, holding a hand out to her.
“No. I want to leave, right now.” She dropped the sheet and disappeared into the dressing room. By the time I’d pulled on my shirt and folded my jacket over my arm, she still hadn’t returned, so I knocked once on the door before pushing it open. The dressing room was empty. She’d left.
Growling in frustration, I ran down the hall to see her slip out the front door with her purse over her shoulder. I slammed the front door and the door-man glared at me, but I ignored him as I looked for where Alix had gone. Just as I spotted her, she vanished into the backseat of one of the cabs outside the club. I tried to get to the cab before it took off, but wasn’t fast enough.
She was gone.
Chapter 13
Alix
I was running. I knew it, but I couldn’t stop myself. There was no way I could face him as my mind whirled out of control. After such a deep experience, only to find another woman’s lipstick on his neck — my world shattered. There is only one way lipstick gets beneath the collar of a dress shirt. I couldn’t hear his excuses. I couldn’t let him make me believe again.
The last few months I’d put up with numerous other signs that other women would add up to something suspicious, but after his vehemence about not cheating the first time, I had let it all go, against my better judgement.
However, I couldn’t let go of the lipstick. I couldn’t. As soon as I got home, I locked the door and actually hid in my closet. I didn’t want to go near my bed, or couch, or anywhere else in the house John and I had been together. I needed to be alone.
All my life I’d been made to feel like I’d never be enough, but that had changed with John. I had this beautiful period of time where I felt like I could be what he needed, what he wanted — that I was enough. The world crumpled down around me with thoughts of all the times he’d come to me smelling of other women, the stories I heard from his ex, the way she so brazenly showed too much cleavage or thigh in the office. She touched him and he let her, even in front of me. He hadn’t been trying so hard to hide what was going on, but I’d been the naïve one that let him pull the cloth over my eyes in more ways than one.
I’d been so desperate to believe him that I didn’t trust myself and what I was seeing with my own eyes.
My strength and confidence, which had built over the time we’d been together, was leached away by the thoughts of deceit and lies. I hid in the closet trying to keep the outside world at bay for as long as I could, even long after my legs and butt begged me to move. My needy bladder was what finally broke me.
After relieving myself, I went about my house straightening things, trying to find some sense of normalcy where nothing else was okay. When I plugged my phone into the charger, I saw I had a slew of missed calls and texts. I didn’t bother checking them. They would be from John and I didn’t have the heart to face him.
In fact, I didn’t find the strength to face him for over two weeks. I called in sick, stating a family emergency, even though I had no family worth missing a single day of work for. Since I never took a vacation, I had more than enough paid time to use. The entire two weeks I stayed holed up in my apartment. I was barely eating, so I didn’t need to go to the store to get food.
At the end of two weeks, I felt no better than I had when I started the time away, so it was with a heavy heart that I started looking for new employment. I loved where I worked, but I refused to stay where I would be forced to see the man who’d broken my heart.
When I returned to work, I put on heavy makeup to help cover the bags under my eyes and the fact I’d lost some weight. The only person who noticed was Jennifer, and even though she peppered me with questions, I shrugged them off with single-word answers or ignored them altogether. Finally she got the hint that I didn’t want to talk and left me alone.
After having so much time off, I was booked solid, one appointment straight into another. The following week I’d be running to keep up with all the events that were booked, but it was good. The more work I had to do, the less time my brain could dedicate to rehashing the same thoughts that had been circling in my head.
I was broken.
My old, comforting habits came back. I found myself escaping more than four times a day to the bathroom while at work to masturbate. I couldn’t do it in my office as my appointments were too closely booked. There was no pleasure from it, but I found it helped bring a tiny bit of my old self back. Memories of doing the same thing for many years brought me comfort that I was still me. I was still okay in some small corner of my brain.
I didn’t think about John during those times; I knew he’d be mad at me if he knew, but I was mad at him so all it ended up doing was making me twist and pinch myself painfully, making it harder to get off on the next trip I made to the bathroom.
I made it over a week back at work before I spotted him. Since he’d tailored his hours to mine when we were together I knew when he’d be coming or going and made sure to be out of sight at those times. I had appointments well into the night as I tried to play catch-up, and one night when I was cleaning up to leave, it was after ten when I looked up and spotted him.
He hadn’t seen me and I ducked behind my desk. As usual, he was dressed impeccably in a suit and an all-knowing smile that made every woman drool over him. Every woman but me. It tore my heart out to see he looked as good as he had the day I’d left.
Once I was sure he was gone, I collapsed into my chair and fought to hold back the tears that threatened for the first time in weeks. I hadn’t cried for him. I refused to. Too many times I had let tears fall for myself. Obviously even after months of my full dedication to him, I wasn’t enough, and that’s all I had to offer him. Tears would do nothing to change it.
Grabbing my purse, I locked my office and walked through the
lobby. Jennifer waved me over.
“Alix, you need a night out. Let’s go get wasted and relax some. Come on, it’ll be a good time. You need a good time,” she pleaded with me. She’d been begging me to tell her what was going on. She’d deduced that whatever had been between John and I had ended, but hadn’t pushed for details. She really was becoming a friend and showing me she wanted to be there for me.
“I don’t know,” I sighed. I was exhausted, but I was constantly that way since I couldn’t sleep.
“It’ll help you feel human again, I promise. We’ll leave when you want to leave. Just get out of your house and office for a few hours.” She clasped her hands together and pushed out her bottom lip in a pout.
“Okay, as long as we leave when I say I want to leave.” I gave in as a loud, annoying burst of feminine laughter filled the lobby. The sound was familiar and made my blood freeze. Turning on my heel, I spotted Mariah. She was dazzling as usual. Her hair sparkled in the lights as she moved, her makeup looking spotless as her tight dress hugged every curve of her perfect body that was elongated by spiked heels. She held a phone to her ear as she moved through the open room.
“I can’t wait, sir. I’m on my way up to you. I don’t need dinner, I need you after the long day we had.” She paused as if listening to something on the other end of the line. “Absolutely, sir. I want to be so sore I can’t sit down tomorrow without remembering having you over me. It’ll keep my panties wet and praying you’ll ask me to come into your office for a session of our own.”
I closed my eyes as she moved far enough away I couldn’t hear her as she waited for the elevator.
“Yeah, I think I need a drink,” I told Jennifer, who gave me a sad smile as she collected her things.
We went to her house, where I refused to change into one of her ridiculous outfits. Instead, I shed my jacket, figuring the tank top I had on underneath would work fine. It was a bit see-through, but I wore a bra so there wasn’t much to show. After trading out my skirt for a pair of her jeans, I deemed myself ready. My hair was pulled up into a tight bun since I refused to wear it down. Anything that would normally please John, I did the opposite. I didn’t want to attract him; I didn’t even want to think about him.
Fiend (An Erotic BDSM Romance Novel) (Cravings Book 2) Page 11
