Fair question. When did she start noticing her feelings for Grace? The first time she saw Grace’s eyes sparkle and smile for something or someone else and choked back her jealousy? Or when she fought the urge to check Grace’s phone for messages from men. Or when her first thought in the morning and last at night was kissing her best friend with decidedly unfriendly kisses.
“I don’t know mum, it just happened.”
“Were you a lesbian when you were with Kevin? Is that why you broke the poor man’s heart?”
“Mum, I fell in love with Grace the person – not her gender. In any case, Kevin has moved on – remember I’m invited to his engagement party.”
Yes, she fell in love with Grace, the person but also Grace and her body.
The late-night study sessions when they crashed on the same bed. Sienna couldn’t sleep and resisted the urge to roll over into Grace’s arms, aching to touch the softness of her face. At first, she tried to hide her feelings as being confused or lonely. She tried to convince herself that after breaking up with Kevin, any feelings for Grace were not real. Rebound relationships were not real. She couldn’t be, gay.
Sienna started dreaming of being with Grace, their hands and lips united. Scared of losing their friendship, she accepted that whatever her feelings for Grace needed to remain a secret.
Grace, and her shoulder length blonde hair, piercing green eyes and a smile that could light up an ocean on the darkest night. Males of all ages and all nationalities hit on her everywhere she went. Grace rejected them with a laugh, a shake of her head and explained she was supporting her friend through an emotional time. She let them down gently, each male left feeling more besotted.
Nothing could be worse than Grace giving her the, “It’s not you, it’s me” speech.
For weeks, Sienna convinced herself it could never happen. Grace would never feel the same passion or desire for her.
Then, things started to change. They shared meaningful glances, and Sienna dared to hope that the attraction was mutual, and yet afraid to cross the line from friendship. They were part of the same study group and needed each other. To hook up and then break up would be awkward for everyone.
The biggest risk of all was losing her best friend if it didn’t work out.
“I’ve got to take this,” Ava from their study group left to talk to her boyfriend. The guys had already gone. In Sienna’s mind, whether to call it sexual tension, chemistry or tension didn’t matter any more. She could barely look at Grace in case her dirty thoughts were visible.
“What are we doing here?” Grace broke her thoughts with the snap of the closing laptop. Sienna tried to read her face, surely, Grace wasn’t about to end their friendship.
“The answer should be, studying,” she needed Grace to be clearer.
“I can’t,” Grace’s eyes responded, intense pleading.
“Why not?” she asked, hoping for the answer and resisting the urge to immediately discover out what girl lips tasted like. Would they be softer, would they be like kissing herself?
“You know why …” Grace’s voice trailed off. They could stay here as awkward friends forever or Sienna needed a way they could take things slowly to the next level.
“I think we should go out together, the two of us, for one night.” Sienna tried to think on her feet. They needed a way to move past the looks.
“When?” hopefully, Grace wanted to explore where these looks were going as much as Sienna. What was it about her eyes that Sienna wanted to drown in – her lips again, so kissable.
“How about now, leave our stuff here.”
“No, I need my laptop tomorrow, can we swing past my place to drop it off.”
“Sure.”
They made it to Grace’s room with all intentions of dropping off her laptop and bag and going out.
“Come on in, I’ll only be a minute.”
“Don’t get dressed up on my account,” as Sienna followed her into the room, noting the neatness compared to her own mess. Total opposites – could that be the attraction.
“I just need to make sure everything is …” Grace finished putting everything away and turned, almost into Sienna who did what she had been wanting to do all evening.
Their first kiss, oh, Sienna remembered it as if it happened yesterday. Yes, girl lips were soft, tasting of lip gloss and so moist.
“… perfect,” Grace finished when they came up for air.
“Ohhhh,” Sienna moaned as this time Grace’s lips met hers. At first, neither of them knew what to do, and then their bodies responded intuitively.
Their tongues exploring, hands exploring. The first touch of another woman’s breast. No fumbling, no man handling of Grace’s beautiful soft orbs. Sienna’s fingertips traced circles, she licked them to draw lines around and around until each nipple extended into perfectly hard peaks, asking, no begging, for Sienna’s lips to take them.
The first time she ever kissed a nipple, feeling the hardness against her tongue, hearing Grace moan as she pressed it between her tongue and her teeth. Then helping Graces hands pull up her skirt and remove her panties.
Standing in the room of her best friend, kissing her, wanting so much more. Two beautiful bodies, wanting each other for the first time.
She had wanted this moment for too long. Dreamt of it, even prayed for it. Now, almost afraid to scare her off, Sienna allowed Grace to set the pace.
“I never thought we’d …” as Grace led Sienna to the bed. Time stood still as they explored each other, knowing instinctively where to touch and what to do. As Grace’s fingers entered her, she returned the joy. It felt strange, the familiar softness of the lower lips then the bud. Knowing how it felt for a man to touch her, bring her to joy, this was her first time touching another woman’s body. Wonderful, beautiful, sexy Grace.
Fingers plunged as their tongues merged, driving a rhythm to their first time coming together, eyes wide open, sharing the wonderous and unexpected moment.
“Perfect,” whimpered Grace, “You are perfect.”
“I’m not done with you yet,” as they continued to kiss. Even after Grace reclaimed her hand, Sienna’s remained in place as she turned her attention to those perfect soft breasts again. Exploring every part of them with her mouth until she had Grace moaning and writhing on the bed to her touch. She added another finger, widening Grace as her thumb teased the bud and her tongue took control.
“Yes, oh, yes, oh, yes,” Grace cried as she succumbed to Sienna’s touch for a second time.
Their first night together removed all doubt and awkwardness. The friendship remained unquestioned, the chemistry undeniable.
“Are we going?” Grace asked when Sienna’s ex-boyfriend invited them to his engagement party.
“Why not. He’s happy, we’re happy. About time my friends see that we’ve both moved on.”
When Sienna returned home with Grace on her arm, she wore her happiness and her sexuality with pride.
Unfortunately, not all of her old friends shared her joy. Most of them shunned her. It hurt, being in a room filled with people she had known almost all her life yet being alone. Other than with Grace.
Strangely, her ex boyfriend and his new fiancé were the first people to accept her relationship.
“I’m glad you came, sorry everyone else is being dicks,” he hugged her on the dancefloor.
“Thanks, I thought it would be good to see you again, check out your new woman.”
“Don’t get any thoughts!” he joked.
“I won’t, my girl is keeping my hands full and I wouldn’t have her any other way.”
“I’m glad we can still hang and be chill,” as they returned to their dates.
“Sienna, you made this possible,” he motioned to the room and his fiancé. “I could never break up with you – and if you didn’t, who knows, we might be lying to each other and ourselves, cheating with people we love on people we also love.”
“I know, right.”
“Don�
�t worry about what other people think – one look at you and it is obvious how right you are for each other. You are glowing, and no wonder. She is hot.”
“Hey! You were telling me not to get any ideas. That goes for you, too,” she gave him a friendly jab.
“Love you, go off and be happy,” his final words. They left town the next day and Sienna had no plans to return. Ever. Her life was with Grace and Grace alone.
Grace
“What are we doing on the last weekend of the month?” Grace asked Sienna as they waited for their tapas. After they both put in long hours at the office, they decided against heading home for dinner, and met up at their favorite café for tapas and a few quiet drinks.
“I’ll probably be working, why?” Sienna’s fingers intertwined with hers, “Are you thinking of a dirty weekend away, if so, I’ll change all my plans for you.”
“It would be a weekend away, but not the sort you have in mind,” Grace drew Sienna’s fingertips to her mouth, kissing each one, flicking the fingernail with her tongue as she did so. Smiling at Sienna that promised finger sucking and more later at home. Oh, she loved this girl.
“Tell me more,” the food arrived and now she got to watch Sienna’s long fingers take each mouthful of food to the red lips.
“You realize you turn me on by eating with your hands!”
“Something to think about next time we order home delivery.”
Grace finished the starter before continuing the conversation. “An invite came through – there’s a reunion back home at the end of the month. A snap call out to everyone who can turn up. Apparently, there is a wedding that some of my old friends are flying in for from overseas, so they organized a reunion to catch up with everyone the week before.”
“No.” Sienna’s face froze.
Of all the possible reactions, Grace did not expect the explosion that followed. It wasn’t rational, logical, it wasn’t – well even up for discussion.
Sienna started off with all the reasons they shouldn’t go. “Where are we going to stay – your mum? Have you forgotten how she introduces us – ‘this is my daughter and her friend?’”
“We aren’t going to see my mum – I want to see my old friends, the people I grew up with and haven’t seen in years.”
“You mean since we got together.” She needed to wait until Sienna calmed down to find out why she seemed insecure about going home. But telling Sienna she had already responded, “yes” could wait.
“That’s not what I mean, and you know it,” Grace tried to reason with her. All the passion from earlier in the evening grew as cold as their food while she tried to understand.
“I want to see my old friends, catch up. Show you off.”
“No.”
“Why not?”
“It’s a bad idea and you’ve moved on. We have a life together here, and it’s perfect. Why go back and dredge up the past.”
“I see it as celebrating what we’ve done and how far we’ve all come, not living in the past but looking forward.”
“No.”
“I’ve missed my old friends and want them to meet you.”
“No.”
Sienna ignored her, focusing on clearing her plate. Grace lost her appetite. Why did it always come down to her missing out because Sienna didn’t want to do something. Marriage, babies, and now a reunion.
No! She mustn’t think like that. They needed to talk things through, until Sienna calmed down and could think rationally.
“I won’t go.” Sienna said, finally breaking the silence.
“Not even for me? You’d make me go on my own?”
“I can’t believe you’d go without me!”
“Not by choice, but I really want to go, with you by my side, dressed to kill. I’ll check you out all night and then when the official party is over, we have our own private celebration.”
“Why would you want me there – wouldn’t you be embarrassed – the gay chick with her lesbo girlfriend!” Sienna spat out the words.
“Honey, you don’t mean that. I want to go, and I want to go with you. What are you afraid of?” It had to be fear driving these words, this reaction.
Sienna shook her head, sat back in the chair, her arms crossed, and she pushed her plate and glass away.
“When was the last time you saw me scared,” she challenged. “I turned up to my ex’s engagement and look how well that turned out. Everyone staring at us but ignoring me if I went too close. My best friends I’d been friends with all my life didn’t want to know me because of us. I’m trying to protect you from making a stupid decision.”
“Okay,” Grace acknowledged, “Scared might be the wrong word – but something triggered you. It can’t be because I want to go home or because of your friends. Most of my friends know about us and they can’t wait to meet you.”
“Go, but don’t expect me to come with you.”
Grace accepted invitations to not only the reunion but all other parties her friends had organized over the weekend. Seeing every new RSVP coming through, she grew more excited, wishing Sienna could at least be happy for her.
Almost all her hockey team, the swim team and netball teams would be there, all demanding to catch up and meet the mysterious Sienna. Her next-door neighbor who moved to London straight out of university was coming.
And Seth.
It took almost a week before Sienna admitted that she didn’t want to see Grace and Seth together – not even as friends.
“Okay, I’ll admit that I don’t want to accidently picnic where you spent Easter with Seth and his family. I don’t want to walk the same streets or see the same people that you did as a couple. And there is no way I want to dinner with him at the reunion.”
“That’s ridiculous,” Grace cried when Sienna finally agreed to come with her but insisted they sit at separate tables from Seth. “We have all the same friends.”
“Friends you haven’t seen in years.”
“Because we live in different cities and countries!”
“Still, you’ll be in the same room. They don’t have to choose to sit with him.”
“You are being ridiculous.”
“I can’t help how I feel.”
“I love you, you know that – at least you should by now.”
It didn’t matter what she said or did. For five years they had been the perfect couple. Now it seemed they did nothing but fight.
Over the reunion and what they expected out of life and each other.
Still, they were the perfect modern couple. Great friends, same social interests, same values. Never got jealous of how much time each of them spent at work, or jealous of other friends.
Only now, Sienna couldn’t control her jealousy over an ex-boyfriend who she hadn’t seen, spoken to or anything for five years. No matter how much Grace wanted to see it as sexy and loving, she felt suffocated and controlled.
The last night before they left, Sienna crawled into bed beside her. The intensity of their fighting stressed their friendship and had done the unthinkable - stopped their sex life.
Grace stiffened as the familiar fingers drew up her leg and then pushed the sheets off, exposing her matching singlet and undies. The hand weaved around to above her groin, the soft and sensitive skin.
“It wasn’t always for me.” Grace heard the pain, still fresh in Sienna’s voice. The week had taken a toll on her as well. “I try but I can’t move past it.”
“You should, I offered to get it removed.”
“I know, and I love that you say in now means me, but it kills me that I wasn’t your first.”
Grace rolled over, holding Sienna’s hand in place. “I wasn’t your first,” she kissed those familiar lips. “I wasn’t your first in bed or your first love,” Sienna sighed as Grace moved to her breasts. “We both have pasts.”
“I don’t have mine tattooed where you can find it every time we make love.”
“Then let me help you move past it,” Grace said softly as her
lips devoured the woman she loved, moving her hand lower, beneath the fabric of her panties and between her legs, exposing the small tattoo “S” that once meant Seth.
Reunion
Seth
“Great news, mate, see you then,” Seth punched the air as the call ended. With this sale over half of the units in his new complex had sold off-the-plan meaning the financing would come through allowing work to commence.
He ran his fingers through his dark curls, wishing once again he had someone special in his life to share the news with.
Friends, well he had many. Colleagues and work associates even more. But no special person who would understand the stress of a new project, the hoping that the vision he and his architect shared would also appeal to buyers. That the color schemes would be bold enough to be interesting yet neutral enough to be marketable.
He did it. Or at least his team deserved the credit. One more successful project ready for launch and his attention ready for the next important idea or concept to come across his desk.
His secretary often joked that while his most successful feature was his doggedness – never giving up until closing the deal – once it was closed, he had the attention span of a gold fish. She constantly complained when he wouldn’t focus on the trivial details. Taking advice from other local businessmen, he built a team around him to balance his faults. In the past two years they collected several awards, recognizing the team as one of the most successful small development companies.
Success and money thrown at his feet. Women – well what successful business man wasn’t a magnet for women wanting to meet them. Nothing meant anything without … he hated being cliché, but the truth was without someone to love and share the joys, success became empty.
He had never been the type of man to engage in meaningless one-night stands. Everything needed a purpose and that included dating. If the woman wasn’t ready for a committed relationship, if she didn’t share his interests or values, then he didn’t see the need for a second date.
Not when once upon a time, he had the perfect woman and perfect relationship.
The Question Is Page 2
