by Renee Rose
“No, not like this.” I turned around.
He stared down at me. I wasn’t sure if it was the word no or what, but that somehow brought him out of this. I was all for wild and rough, but it was as if Colton hadn’t been with me, as if he’d been driven by something inside him. By his wolf.
He shook his head and turned away from me, stumbling back toward his closet, pants open, clothes wet.
“Colton?” My heart pounded.
He shook his head as if flicking water away like an animal.
“Fuck, Marina,” his voice sounded choked as he looked me over. I was naked, sprawled on his bed. I no doubt had a huge hickey on my neck, red marks all over from where he’d touched me.
My pussy throbbed with need, the orgasm having been so close.
He was breathing as if he ran a race, then wiped his mouth with the back of his hand. He sniffed, and I realized he must have smelled my arousal. “I… fuck, I can’t do this with you. It’s not going to work.”
I sat up, pulling the bedcovers up to cover myself. “What do you mean?”
He walked to the door, ripped it open, then turned to face me.
“You. Me. Us. I gotta go. Go back to your bedroom, Marina. You can’t stay here tonight.”
Oh my God. What in the fuck was happening?
Before I could even figure it out, Colton left, bolting out the door and slamming it shut behind him. I heard his heavy footfall rush down the stairs, then the slapping of the screen door off the kitchen.
What had happened? Was he disgusted by me? The smell of me on him like a poison? He’d just walked away. Left. At least he’d been very clear about it.
I dropped to a fetal position on the bed, pain exploding in my chest. I’d thought… again, I thought a guy would stay. Would want me for me. But no. Colton was perhaps the worst.
My dad had never given me crumbs of affection. I’d thought he had, but really, there had been nothing there from the start. I’d hoped there would be more, but Cindy and the Caribbean were more important than me. The guy from college who went after my lab partner? Whatever. Sure, I’d been lacking, but he hadn’t offered me anything. I’d thought he had, until I met Colton.
Fuck, Colton opened me up, cracked me open for me to see who I really was. I wasn’t just the along-for-the-ride girl I’d thought. I was more. I knew what love was, what a connection should be. Devotion. Obsession. Lust. All of it. And yet, I still wasn’t enough. I couldn’t be, or he’d be here in bed with me right now, making me scream his name.
Colton was wrong. It seemed every man would let me down. I’d been thinking I wasn’t enough for them. My dad. The jerk from college. Colton. I’d thought if I was enough, they’d be in my life.
But I was enough. And I fucking deserved better than this.
COLTON
* * *
I ran blindly out of the house. Didn’t even know where the fuck I was until I ran smack into Rob.
“Ready to run?” he asked, then looked me over. “Dude, why’s your dick hanging out?”
Shit. I reached down, shoved myself back in my pants, although it fucking hurt. I was so hard, it was actually painful. And my balls…
There was no way I’d get the pants zipped.
“Do I owe Boyd fifty bucks?”
Panting, I glared at him. “No, nothing happened.”
He arched a dark brow. “Really?”
The rain had let up while I’d been upstairs with Marina. It was barely a drizzle now, and the thunder was off to the east. The storm had blown through as fast as it had arrived.
The air was cooler. Damp. The scent of green grass and wet dirt filled my nostrils, making Marina’s sweet scent disappear.
“No,” I snarled. “Why do you think I’m standing out here with you?”
He knew what I was going through. How close I was to madness.
“Fuck.” I ran a hand over my face, my hair still damp from earlier. “Let’s run. Hard.” I yanked off my clothes right there outside the back door, not bothering to stow them somewhere dry. I left them with my boots in the mud. I didn’t wait for Rob and shifted, then took off.
We didn’t usually run on our property. Not with neighbors around. Pack law was to keep to the mountains where we couldn’t be seen, but I couldn’t wait that long to shift. It was almost dark, and I didn’t give a shit. If the alpha was pissed, he could deal with me later.
I felt his presence behind me, probably sticking close in case I did go mad. He might be able to keep me from losing my humanity completely by ordering me to shift back at the end of the night if I couldn’t do it on my own.
And I might not. I’d never felt the madness this strongly before. The wild beast within me taking over, scratching to be free.
Fuck!
I ran at top speed, following a path through our land that led to the mountain range beyond.
I’d scared Marina. My teeth had descended, coated with the serum that would forever mark her with my scent. I hadn’t been capable of holding back.
She’d been too perfect. Her pussy had just been that sweet. Her flavor was still on my tongue. Her skin had been like wet silk, her cries of pleasure, the rough tug on my hair indication she’d been right there with me. She liked me wild, but that…. That had been something else.
I’d been something else.
I should never have risked being in a bedroom with her. Taking her clothes off. That was utterly idiotic! Why had I thought I was in control? With her, I never would be. I couldn’t risk her. Ever.
Marina. Marina.
I had to run off this wildness, this madness, so I could get back to her. Explain everything. Take her into my arms and make amends. Tell her I’d wait for her. However long it took.
I raced up the side of the mountain, my nails digging into the wet earth as I climbed. And when I hit the top, I sat and howled.
Boyd had been right. Fate was a whore.
If I made it through this night, I would never defy her again.
19
MARINA
* * *
I couldn’t stay here. Staring at the shelf of Colton’s childhood trophies, I realized this was the last place I could remain. Not just his bedroom, but Wolf Ranch.
Which was… full of wolves.
Audrey and Boyd were all sequestered away in their cabin for their wedding night, and I doubted they’d come up for air tomorrow. Or the next day. They weren’t planning a honeymoon, so I didn’t think they’d make an appearance anytime soon.
And I sure as hell couldn’t stay in this house with Colton and Rob.
I wasn’t even sure if I could trust them now that I knew what they were.
And Colton…
Colton had broken my heart.
Just like my dad. No, I’d broken my own heart over him. I shouldn’t have loved him in the first place.
I sat up, wiped my face, then went across the hall to my room. Threw on some clothes. I didn’t even know what I’d done to have Colton freak. I guessed I was too human for him. I didn’t measure up. Same old story.
Except, no. Fuck that. I shoved my arms through a hoodie sweatshirt and pulled it over my head.
It was their loss. I wasn’t the problem. I wasn’t the one who wasn’t good enough.
I couldn’t go combing over every event, trying to figure out what I screwed up this time. How I wasn’t exactly what he wanted.
I was enough, dammit. I was enough for me. Audrey was right. I deserved all the love in the world. Someone who wouldn’t jerk me and my feelings around.
If Audrey knew what a dick Colton had been, she’d be on a warpath, but I wasn’t ruining anything for her. I sat on the edge of the bed, shoved my feet into thick socks, then put on my sneakers.
Right now, I was going to take care of myself. And that meant going somewhere I felt comfortable.
Away from this house. This ranch. The nearest place I could think of was that stupid motel from a few nights ago. It was on the way to the airport. In the morning, I could get a fligh
t out of Montana and figure out the shit show of my life.
Audrey would be there for me, I knew. Hell, she’d even offered to pay for college. But I had to figure out me. What I wanted. I’d thought it was to be an engineer and make my dad happy. That had been dumb. Here, I thought maybe I made Colton happy. Clearly not. I needed to make myself happy. And tonight, that was to get the hell out of here before Colton came back.
I saw Audrey get married. My job here was done. She was going to be in bed with Boyd for longer than I wanted to wait. They could eat the untouched wedding cake when they came up for air. I’d be doing us both a favor if I changed my flight to tomorrow morning and just made a clean break.
Yes. That was exactly what I needed to do. I shoved my things in my suitcase and zipped it shut.
It only took a few minutes before I was tripping down the stairs, the suitcase banging against the wall as I ran. Outside, the air was cool and damp, but the rain was over, like God approved my plan. Good, that meant I should be able to get through the roads to the motel. At least I hoped it could. I hustled out to my car, tossed the bag in the back seat, started it up and took off. As I sped away down the muddy road, I saw Levi come out of the bunkhouse to look down the drive at my retreat.
Well, good. He could let them know I left.
As I made my way through the dark down the long drive and beneath the Wolf Ranch entry arch, I realized I didn’t care if I ever came back.
COLTON
* * *
It was long past midnight when I’d finally run my wolf into the ground.
Some of the ranch hands and other unmated members of the pack had joined us, needing the release on the full moon, like we had. But most had stayed home with the storm and the wedding events earlier.
All but Rob had gone home. I’d pushed too hard, too far for any of them to want to keep up. He had been nipping at my flank for hours, trying to get me to return, but he wouldn’t leave me.
I ran down the mountain for the ranch house. Even exhausted, that underlying mania still there.
Mate her. Mark her. Make her mine.
The fucking full moon. No. Not. Happening.
I’d get Rob to lock me up tonight, if he had to. Even though I desperately needed to talk to Marina, to explain why I’d left, I couldn’t risk getting near her. Tomorrow, I’d explain it all. Hell, grovel even.
I shifted when we got to the back door, then picked my clothing up from the mud. Jesus. It looked like a car had driven over them. I’d been so out of my mind when I ran down here, I hadn’t even noticed if anyone had seen me shift.
At least all the humans had gone.
Levi walked up from the direction of the bunk house, like he’d been up waiting.
“Hey, Colton.” He stood back, kept his hands in his pockets.
I ignored him, stalking into the house. If he wanted to stand there, he could check out my bare ass. “Not now.”
I didn’t have it in me to focus on anything but keeping my wolf under control until morning, when I could fix things with Marina.
“She’s not up there, man,” he called.
I froze, a violent tremor running through my body.
I spun on my wet heel on the wood floor. “What do you mean, she’s not up there?”
There could only be one she he was referring to. Marina. My mate.
“She drove away, man. Right after the rain stopped. Didn’t say anything, not that I was out here. I don’t know where she went.”
Audrey. She’d gone to Audrey’s. It made sense. She’d want to talk to her sister. I shook open my muddy jeans and tried to step into them, but Rob stopped me. “Go get some clean clothes on, Colton.” His voice was low and even. Like he was trying to calm me.
“There's no time!” I snarled.
He grabbed my arm. “If you can’t keep it together, I’m gonna fucking sit on you until morning. Clean up. Get your clothes on. Get your fucking head on straight.” There was alpha command in his words, which took my wolf craze down a notch.
I inhaled sharply through my nostrils and answered the only way a pack member can when his alpha pulls rank. “Yes, Alpha.”
I ran upstairs, taking the steps two at a time. Marina’s smell was everywhere, filling my nostrils, sending my wolf into a fucking tailspin. He was on a non-stop howl inside me, frantic to find her. The run had done nothing to soothe me.
I took a ten-second shower, only because Rob was right—I was covered in mud. I pulled on fresh clothes at the same time I ran down the stairs and grabbed the keys to my rental truck.
Please let her be at Audrey and Boyd’s. Please.
Rob was saying something to me as I left, but it didn’t register. All I could think about was getting to Marina.
I climbed in the truck and started it up, sliding in the mud when I gunned it too fast.
I needed to calm down, or I’d get the truck stuck. I eased off the accelerator until I was down the road, and then I gradually increased the speed.
The lights were off at Boyd’s. I didn’t give a shit. I climbed out and pounded my fist on his door.
I barely saw the anger on my brother’s usually easy-going face when he swung the door open, buck naked. “You’d better have a really good reason for showing up on my wedding night.”
Wedding night.
Fuck, I’d already forgotten.
But fuck if I’d apologize. “Where’s Marina?” I boomed.
My brain was too scrambled to reason through the situation. To realize that Marina wouldn’t have gone to stay with them on their wedding night. She wasn’t out of her mind, like me.
Boyd’s face clouded.
Audrey showed up behind him, dressed in a silky white robe. She wasn’t even wearing her glasses. “What’s going on?” Concern sharpened her sleepy voice.
“I’m sorry,” I forced myself to say, looking down. It was one thing to see my brother naked, another to see my sister-in-law barely dressed, especially when I’d been an asshole and interrupted them. “Marina’s gone, and I was wondering if she was here or if you knew where she went?”
Audrey’s eyes grew wide. “What did you do to her?”
I deserved it, but her words still hit me like a punch to the gut.
Fuck.
What had I done to her?
I’d scared her, for sure. Was that why she’d ran?
I rubbed a hand over my face, trying to remember exactly what had happened. I’d been eating her against the wall, and then I’d thrown her on the bed to have sex with her. My teeth had descended. She’d been scared and tried to stop me, but it didn’t get through my haze until I’d heard the word no.
Fuck!
“I lost control,” I admitted. “The full moon. Fuck. I wanted to mark her. And I scared her. So, I got out of there to keep her safe. I told her—”
Oh shit.
I knew why she’d left. What had I said? Something colossally stupid. Like, I can’t do this with you.
Had she taken it as a rejection?
My sweet, sensitive girl? She carried that insecurity from her dick of a dad. Not being good enough. Had I made her feel that way, too?
Jesus, I would cut off my own arm if I had.
I had. I knew it. And it was far worse coming from me. I was her safe place. Her person of trust. The one who let her be who she really was. I let her submit and give herself freely to me. That meant she gave everything to me. Even her heart.
And I’d been a dick. I’d destroyed her.
“You told her what?” Audrey snapped.
“Not enough,” I admitted. “I didn’t tell her she was my mate because—”
“You never told her she was your mate?” she practically shouted.
“I didn’t want to pressure her. She’s so young, and she still has school. She needs to have fun and figure out who she is, what she wants. Party. Hell, dance. I was going to try to keep my wolf in control and give her time for that.”
Audrey crossed her arms over her chest as she list
ened.
“If she were a she-wolf, she’d know she belonged to me. But Marina’s just a sweet young human who didn’t know about shifters until tonight. It’s not like I could just bite her. I couldn't claim her without her consent. It’d be too much to throw at a young woman who just met a guy and has no idea what a shifter even is.”
Audrey put her hands on her hips, and Boyd grabbed the front of her robe and tugged the two sides together. “So, what did you say?” she asked, ignoring him.
I dropped my head and closed my eyes in misery. “Something stupid,” I muttered. “But I’m going to fix it. Right now. I’m going to find her.”
“You’d better,” Audrey said. “And you tell her everything. Don’t make assumptions about what she can handle or not. She may be young, but she’s not stupid. She can make her own choices about things. About you. She doesn’t need you to protect her.”
“The hell she doesn’t,” I grumbled, but I was already marching for the truck. I had to find Marina tonight before I lost my ever-loving mind.
“She needs the truth, Colton. That’s all she’s ever needed.”
Those words sliced deep because they were true. So. Fucking true.
I nodded and walked away.
“You’d better fix this,” Boyd called after me, and I would’ve flipped him off if I could spare even the slightest distraction from my purpose.
But I couldn’t. I needed to get to Marina.
Where in the fuck had she gone? Where could she go at this time of night? The ride to the airport was over two hours. There weren’t any more flights out at this time of night. If she were headed back to LA, which made the most sense, she’d have to wait for morning. So I’d head to Bozeman, check the hotels. I’d find her. I had to. I couldn’t let her leave like this. Just like Audrey had said, she needed the truth. All of it. Because that single sexy picture of her on my phone couldn’t be all I had of her.
20
MARINA
* * *
I shouldn’t have come to this same motel. Being here reminded me way too much of Colton. At least I’d been given a different room. After standing in the shower for forty-five minutes, hoping the hot spray of water would eventually wash away the weekend, I crawled into bed for another cry.
