by C Churchill
When I lay you down to sleep
I pray the night your love will keep
For darkness plagues
The minds that wander
And I watch your breath
Under a new moon squander
Looking for a timbre
To lead me home
In love sweet love
It is all unknown
For the reaper comes
At every glance
Telling my heart
It has no chance
unknown
I wish I could stop seeing you in the night
And start seeing me.
blinded by memory
In the darkest hour
Birds still
On branches
Resting for a song
Night hunters
Had their kill
Now sleep with bellies full
I was born just before dawn
In the darkest hour
While the world
Was asleep
No coos
No cries
Just silence
I learned to wake
While the birds are still
I learned to wake
While hunters are asleep from fill
I learned the loneliness that comes before dawn
Not a peep from the darkness
Just shadows lay upon shadows
No songs
No kill
Stark and barren
But the silence has a comfort
And the lonely as well
I often wonder why I still search for a reason behind this hell
And continue to sift through
The loneliness in the darkest hour
When all I have known Is silence
darkest hour
I lost another night of sleep
As if I would sleep anyway
The dark season has been here awhile
I doubt the sun even recalls my name
Although my laughter
Is logged in memory
And the sun begs a smile daily
This will be a season I remember
When tears tattooed my pillow
And sleep forgot to come home
forgotten sleep
My demons curled tightly
Around my thirst
Begging to be quenched
In my tranquil desert
But the stars, oh the stars
They shined in rain
Shined so brightly
Upon this pain
Thirsty I was
Amidst the flood
Amidst the life
I lost in love
But still I sat
Among the pain
Among the stars
Among the rain
For I knew
My wishes may come true
If the stars could find the moon
Behind clouds of blue
clouds of blue
I hate the nights
When I sit
Pondering
What was
What could have been
Searching a never-ending sky
As if it will tell me why
But I still do
I think we all do
Especially those nights
When the stars have sunken deep behind clouds
When the moon has left us only with tides
It won’t come back
That life
The one we search for
The one the stars hide from
The one where our sky has turned to black
Where memories flood
Of a life that seemed complete
A life we were strangely now worthy of
Suddenly
When our canvas is blank?
And the world is as open as it can get
We still ponder
On what was
When the moon has hidden
Giving us the gift of
New
fresh start
I bathe in the night
Hoping to wash the darkness
Back to the sky
That has given it to me
Scrub hard
Then harder
Trying to release my shadows
But they grasp tightly
To my core
And smile
Laughing at my dimwitted hands
That travel my darkness
Because I don’t even know where to wash
I don’t even know
Where or how far the darkness has gone
my darkness
Crescent
I have learned to see in the dark
I have learned to love my sadness
take the time
I walked away from the day
Held hands with the sky
Watched clouds dance with stars
No longer wondering why
I let it go
Let it all out
Tear soaked pillows
With a side of hope
starting to dream
My spirit swallowed the shadows
Kissed death like lilies
On a summer breeze
I had no fear of the villain
I had no fear of the monster
I had no fear
At all
A strangeness arose
In my sublimity
While the shadows filled vacancies
Where friends used to dwell
Dark alleys were no longer pin drop quiet
But welcoming with the hum of possibility
I relished in the completeness
While memories faded into night
Death becomes
A grace we call upon
Drinking in darkness
Filling every hole
No void left unnamed
The shadow
The monster
An ally
To drink from
To eat from
To live
To become
Possibly the most feared
Villain of them all
fearless
Last nail in the coffin
Last bridge to burn
Cut them all down
With a memory short term
In anguish
We see
What life was really meant to be
There are no fairy tales<
br />
On this side of the tracks
Knowing coffins aren’t nailed
And burned bridges can’t come back
Play that hand wisely
And you too shall see
It’s all a game of chess
And you can be Queen
winning
They held me back
Like a lap dog
Feeding me scraps in tandem
Confused
Running in circles
As the bits fell to the ground
I couldn’t find my way
So, I stayed
In circles
For scraps
To survive
But god dammit
I was still starving
Under the bravado of love
Until I became a cannibal
cannibal
Fierce, oh no
Never fierce
Just sweetness
With a side of survival
Survivor
I sat under the night
This time with
Fresh eyes
Not waiting
But wanting
A realization occurred
Between tried and true
Those who become wolf
Are only controlled by the moon
control
With a heart as black as death
His midnight lashes
Grazed me bare
I was slick
But not as he
I was thirsty, he was sin
And by god
I never let them in
But this stranger
A bottle service
Sent by the night
And relentless
For my taste
Just one sip
Just one little sip
Then he could go
But those lashes
Told a different story
One where I was no longer in control
When the table flips
And the tail spin begins
Oil and water
Fight to get in
A myriad of lust, power and fruition
Is no easy task when you are on a mission
But sometimes the task is worth the reward
In a kill or be killed world
killers
Place those roses
On frozen ground
Be sure to wipe your feet
It’s never as it seems in your dreams
Now is it?
We battle. We score
We soak in sorrows
Nevermore
But still we believe
In love you see
On travelers
Passing in the night
Biding time
When the feeling is right
No not them
They are place keepers
Peace keepers
Grooming us for the real thing
Saving our madness for shoes
By the door of tomorrow
doors of tomorrow
If I asked you to sleep with my demons
Would you say yes?
baggage always included
Are we not wilted by the sun?
Are we not just visitors in this life?
Where we take refuge
We take our sorrow
And bury it in the night
Where flesh is ripped by teeth
And we bite for more
Because our pain is never full
Of the constant escape we seek
escape
A black cat crossed my path
While the umbrella spread open
I let him in
Under the ladder
Filling all my superstitions
On the 13th floor
The one just above
Happily, ever after
I made peace
With darkness
superstition
I tend to watch the sky
Look for the changes
Where will Orion greet me tonight?
Will it be at my side
Or above?
Has the North Star decided?
If I am worthy
Or I am blind?
I tend to watch the sky
Look for the changes
Some nights I tire
Rest my head on bricks
Let my fingers trail
The empty bed space
Not searching, just feeling
I tend to watch the sky
Look for the changes
Observe all I know
All I have learned
And all I have lost
Seeking meaning in the now warm side of the bed
I tend to watch the sky
Look for the changes
As the universe shines down
With every answer
Behind the lips of the moon
And I contemplate
And I tire
Blowing a kiss till tomorrow
blowing a kiss
I wrote the roses love songs
And watered them in grief
My heart lay under
Next to muddy shoes
Such a mess I made
For the roses that wilted
As soon as they touched my hands
I wrote love songs
And sacrificed tears
But forgot my heart wasn’t even there
underneath love
My darling
If you could only see
What wonder could be made
From a few pieces of torn heartstrings
And a locket on a broken chain
My darling
If you could only see
There is still love
In these remains
remains
I have played the fiddle
The piper
The priest
I have seen the devil flown
A flock of geese
I have wearied a traveler
I have bedded a monk
I have been there and back
Stilled breath in lungs
Caused hearts to beat
Caused hearts to weep
Never lost but a night of sleep
For they say
Who buys the cow?
When the milk is free
But my debt isn’t to you
Them or me.
It’s to grief.
And I am not sure
That has a payback<
br />
For this heart
Lost all worth
When it hit the floor
And now is still
Trying to climb
Beyond closed doors
Lock and key
My tears hold strong
For a debt
I am trying to pay back
With a shitty love song
shitty love songs
I am looking for a dreamer
One to hold my sin
Look at my pieces
Like they got a win
Instead I find paupers
Playing a fool’s game
Scraping my love
Off someone else’s name
I am looking for a dreamer
In a house of cards
Where one breath stolen
Could cause the fall
falling for you
If I greet you with a smile
Look at my eyes
They always tell the truth
the truth lies within
I have been there naked
Starving
Waiting
For a bus that will never come
Watching the moon traverse the sky
From dusk till dawn
My feet have lost the urge to step further
And the bench is no longer warm
My thin bones beg for sleep
Chilled in the path of darkness
But I wait
For the moon crosses
In my sight
On heavy lids
A glow
A strange glow
Under this trance
Naked and starving
A high, in a low
Why mystery exists
And busses never come
And thoughts lay with the moon
But never the sun
I wait
For a bus that never existed
In a trance
Brought by the moon
That has never left
trance
We all walk in pictures
Of what we want to portray
In a world where mistakes
Can ruin more than a day
Claiming ground
Where sacred has lost meaning
And truth has been shoved
In the corner left bleeding
For who are you?
Is it for them?
Have you told your truth
To stop begging again
Lashed it with lies
Told it everything is fine
A smile
A filter
