Our Teacher is a Vampire and Other (Not) True Stories

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Our Teacher is a Vampire and Other (Not) True Stories Page 5

by Mary Amato


  Hugs,

  To Carly,

  1.Your letter to Mali Koam was lively.

  2.Fix your spelling.

  3.Take out the part about the cover being boring.

  Sincerely,

  Dear Carly,

  You have a lot of fun energy. Mali Koam’s feelings might be hurt about the cover part.

  Best wishes,

  P.S. I want to write a letter, but I can’t think of what to say.

  Greetings, Carly,

  I didn’t like the cover of “Fur” at all. It was too sunshiny. I loved the book, though. I am writing my own letter to Mali Koam.

  —

  P.S. The name of your cat is fantastic. Big Foot! That is called irony, because cats have little feet. Mrs. Penrose was just teaching us about irony yesterday. Here is my letter.

  Dear Mali Koam,

  You are a good writer, but you should write more scary stories. Also you should put more dramatic and frightening drawings on your covers to attract attention.

  I am putting in my drawing for a new cover for your book “Fur.” What do you think?

  Someone else in my class asked you how to make a story great, so I won’t ask you that. Instead I will give you some good news that should make you excited. When I die, I will haunt your house, because then you will have a fantastic scary story to write. You are welcome.

  Your humble servant,

  Hey,

  I corrected the spelling parts in my letter to Mali Koam. But I left in the part about the boring cover, because it’s the truth and nothing but the truth. I can’t wait until she writes back.

  —

  Don’t get up all your hopes. She is probably busy writing more books.

  —

  Isabella might be right on this one. I’m going to wait and see if she writes back before I spend time on a letter. That is the practical thing to do.

  —

  MONDAY, NOVEMBER 11

  Yo Peeps,

  I believe an author would appreciate an original poem.

  Here is my letter to Mali Koam.

  Dear Mali Koam,

  Violets are blue.

  Roses are red.

  How many books

  Do you have in your head?

  Yours drooly,

  P.S. Did your fingers fall off from writing so much? Now do you write with your toes?

  LOL!

  —

  Dear Author,

  Roses are red.

  Violets are tall.

  Please keep your books

  And send me a ball.

  From,

  LOL again!

  —

  To the Whole Class:

  Buzz’s poem was not appropriate at all. Mrs. Penrose brainstormed with us what should go into a letter this morning. Here is what a letter to an author should include:

  1.The date.

  2.The greeting (such as “Dear Author”).

  3.A sentence about yourself.

  4.A sentence telling the author one thing you liked about one of his or her books.

  5.A serious question.

  6.The closing (such as “Sincerely”).

  Sincerely,

  Okay. Here is my serious question for the author:

  Who wants to sit around and write all day.

  —

  To Buzz:

  1.Bad question.

  2.It doesn’t even have a question mark.

  Sincerely,

  Yo Goys and Birls,

  Buzz has a good question. Who wants to sit around and write all day?

  Answer: People with extra padding in their bottoms. Ha-ha. Just kidding.

  Ta-ta for now now,

  TUESDAY, NOVEMBER 12

  Hi,

  I think it was good that Buzz wrote something in this book. He wasn’t serious about sending that poem to Mali Koam. Nobody would want to hurt her feelings. I also think Omar’s list of things to put in an author letter is helpful. I would add the thing that Mrs. Penrose has up on the wall: “Voice: Let your personality come through in your writing.”

  I worked on my letter to Mali Koam. Here it is.

  Yours truly,

  Dear Mali Koam,

  My name is Tee. I love to read, and I am burning to write. My favorite book is “Fur.” I loved your description of the river and how the bear felt in the morning. It was like you were writing about me. But I am not a bear. But I am like the bear on the inside. I want to make someone feel as if I am writing down their soul on the paper.

  My problem is when I look at blank paper, I get a terrible ache in my stomach. I don’t know how to get an idea for a whole story. We took a walk like you do, and I saw a rabbit and thought a story about that would be good, but then my mind goes empty. I think I was born without an imagination.

  Best wishes for a fascinating life,

  (My real name is Thi Linh Nguyen, but I’m called Tee.)

  P.S. Do you have any pets? I was a cat for Halloween. I don’t have any pets or any little sisters or brothers even though I want one, but my teacher is going to have a baby.

  Great letter, Tee. Here is my letter!

  Hi, Mali Koam,

  Thank you for writing such great books! Hurray! Hurray!! Please make more books!!!!

  —

  WEDNESDAY, NOVEMBER 13

  Dear Mali Koam,

  My name is Harrison. I am a new student at Delite Elementary School in Delite, Minnesota. I moved here from Miami because my mom got a job at Rasmussen College, and I miss the palm trees and the ocean and my best friend, whose name is Aaron and who loves to read as much as me. I miss my old school, too. There aren’t as many kids here that look like me and that made me feel different. At first I didn’t like anything about Minnesota. Now I like two things. First, I like the snow. When it snows, my backyard looks like a big, blank white page. Whenever the snow is fresh, I put on my boots and write a big message in the snow by making tracks of the letters with my feet. It doesn’t matter if anybody ever sees it. I know it’s there. (Yesterday I wrote the word “Salutations,” like Charlotte.) The other thing I like is this book we have in our class. I haven’t written much in it, but I like to read it when nobody is looking.

  My favorite book of yours is “Secret Pages.” I’ve read it seventeen times. When I get to the part about Benjamin finding the book inside the tree trunk from that secret friend, I want to turn the page to read what happens, but I also don’t want to turn the page because I don’t want the story to end. I feel this incredible buzzing in my chest. It is the same feeling I get when I am about to open up a birthday present. I want to tear off the wrapping paper, but I also don’t want my birthday to be over.

  My question is: Did all the things that happen in your books happen to you in real life? Did a secret friend leave a book for you inside a tree?

  Your fan,

  Dear Harrison,

  Your letter to Mali Koam was fantastic. It made me want to read “Secret Pages,” which I haven’t read yet.

  Respectfully yours,

  P.S. You can come sledding with me and my brothers the next time we have a big snow. Minnesota has some really fun things. In the summer you can go to the state fair or you can go to Spirit Mountain in Duluth. Or you can go up north. We go to Lake Winnibigoshish. We stay in a creepy cabin that once had a bat in it.

  Dear Alexander H. Gory, Jr.,

  Thank you for the compliment and the travel tips. I have a copy of “Secret Pages” if you would like to borrow it. There are no scary parts, but there are suspenseful parts.

  From,

  Harrison,

  I know how you feel about moving. I came here in Kindergarten. You feel alone at first and then it gets better.

  —

  To the Whole Class:

  1.I wrote a rough draft of my letter to Mali Koam and gave it to Mrs. Penrose for feedback.

  2.Mali Koam lives in Maryland, which is approximately 1,285 miles away. MN is for Minnesota. MD is for Maryland. Did you know there are eight
states that begin with “M”? I know all of them and their postal abbreviations.

  3.I also have a miniature state flag collection. I have all of the states, including Maryland.

  4.Tonight I will revise my letter and put a copy in here tomorrow.

  Sincerely,

  THURSDAY, NOVEMBER 14

  Omar Abdi Samatar

  c/o Mrs. Penrose

  Delite Elementary School

  404 Larsen Avenue

  Delite, MN 55125

  November 14

  Dear Mali Koam,

  My name is Omar Abdi Samatar. On my last report card, I got all A’s. My hobbies are playing the piano, collecting state flags and coins and reading nonfiction and fiction. I have read ten of your books and plan to read the other two soon. I give you an A+ on your word choice so far. Keep up the great work.

  My serious question is: If we write a story to enter in a contest, should we do the three-step process?

  •Brainstorm (I like graphic organizers)

  •Write a rough draft

  •Revise

  Some people in my class just want to write and say they’re done.

  Sincerely,

  FRIDAY, NOVEMBER 15

  Greetings, Fellow Classmates,

  Mailing a letter is like automatically making suspense. During our morning lesson on oxymorons, I imagined my letter slowly zipping from Minnesota to Maryland. Will it reach Mali Koam? Will she read it? Will she write an unbelievably real letter back to me with her very own hands?

  Almost exactly twenty-four hours ago, Mrs. Penrose helped Harrison, Nick, Carly, Jazmine, Tee and me mail fresh copies of our letters. I know it’s seriously ridiculous to expect a letter back already, but I can’t wait.

  Jiggily yours,

  MONDAY, NOVEMBER 18

  Dear Boys and Girls,

  I asked Alexander for permission to write in here. I just wanted to share some fun news. Lately, when you are out at recess and I am sitting quietly at my desk, I often feel the baby kicking. It feels as if I have swallowed a little dinosaur. A nice dinosaur, to be sure. It’s thrilling.

  Your teacher,

  Kicking? I told you he’s going to be a striker.

  —

  Maybe she’s going to be a striker! The baby might be a girl. Mrs. Penrose, please please, tell us if you know. Is it a boy or a girl?

  —

  As long as the baby is healthy, it doesn’t matter if it’s a boy or a girl. But . . . I did find out, and it’s a boy.

  —

  Our teacher is always for us

  She would never bore us

  Now she is having

  a baby stegosaurus!

  —Guess who?

  LOL —

  Your baby boy can’t wait to meet us!

  —

  We can’t wait for two things: for Mrs. Penrose’s baby and for Mali Koam’s letters!

  —

  TUESDAY, NOVEMBER 19

  Hey,

  Big trouble! I saw DeeNice in the bathroom and she said, “How’s your story?” I said, “Great.” So she showed me her notebook. Her story was five pages long and she said she is still writing! Five pages already! I think we should just pick an idea and write a story for that contest. Let’s just go, go, go.

  —

  WEDNESDAY, NOVEMBER 20

  To the Whole Class:

  1.Just because DeeNice has written five pages doesn’t mean the writing is good.

  2.We are going to get professional advice from a real writer.

  3.The deadline for that contest is at the end of December. We have time!

  4.As soon as we get advice from Mali Koam, we’ll write a rough draft and then we can revise it and send it in.

  Sincerely,

  Thursday, NOVEMBER 21

  No letters from Mali Koam. Mrs. Penrose said that we shouldn’t expect anything until December! Waiting is difficult.

  —

  FRIDAY, NOVEMBER 22

  Mwa ha ha. Guess who?

  I have written eleven pages. On the computer!

  —

  I am burning mad. Marcos got the book this morning on the bus! I’m sorry, but he was as sneaky as a snake.

  —

  Oh no! Now he knows about Mali Koam!

  —

  No. He wrote in it, but he didn’t have time to read much because I grabbed it back.

  —

  11 pages on the computer! My heart is busted in pieces.

  —

  MONDAY, NOVEMBER 25

  Sad Greetings,

  Marcos said on the bus that he finished his story over the weekend and entered it in the contest. We are doomed.

  —

  TUESDAY, NOVEMBER 26

  Come on, guys! We can’t give up!

  Today is our last day before Thanksgiving break. Everybody should get in a good mood. Eat turkey! Eat pie with whipped cream! Be thankful!

  When we come back, I bet we’ll get helpful letters from Mali Koam. Then we’ll write our story and send it in. Then, Mrs. Penrose will have a cute itty-bitty baby boy and bring him in and it will be a really, really happy and fun spring!

  Happy Turkey Day, everybody!

  Hugs,

  Question: What did the turkey say to the chicken on Thanksgiving?

  Answer: You’re clucky you’re not a turkey.

  —

  Ha! Okay, I’m cheered up. If I were a turkey, guess what I’d do at Thanksgiving? Wear a chicken disguise.

  —

  Alexander is a turkey.

  I did not draw this. My little brother did this! I can draw way better.

  I think it’s a good drawing for a kindergartner.

  —

  I think we should keep the book away from little kids because they will mess it up.

  —

  MONDAY, DECEMBER 2

  A bleak and depressing return from break. No letters from Mali Koam.

  —

  It wasn’t bleak or depressing!

  We got to feel the baby kick!

  —

  MONDAY, DECEMBER 9

  Crazy Time

  by Kristin

  We have been on pins and needles, as my mom says. That doesn’t mean we’ve been sitting on them for real. It’s what Mrs. Penrose calls an idiom. We’re anxious and excited about a lot of things: getting advice from Mali Koam, the competition from DeeNice and Marcos, Christmas coming, the baby, and more! And even more things have been happening. Here’s a quick update. Wait. Nick just said he wants to do it.

  Update on Last Week

  On Monday during math class Omar got the flu.

  On Tuesday the germs attacked Alexander, too.

  Then Buzz sprained his ankle playing soccer on the ice.

  On Wednesday the fire alarm went off twice.

  On Thursday night we had our concert singing fa-la-la-ly!

  A baby burped in the middle, which I thought was fa-la-jolly.

  On Friday Mr. Suarez’s pet snake got loose.

  All the classes looked for him, but it was no use.

  Then Isabella screamed and her eyes went buggy.

  “Look!” she yelled. The snake was hiding in her cubby.

  —

  (yeah, baby, I know it)

  THURSDAY, DECEMBER 12

  Great News!

  Ms. Yang came with mail from the office. Mali Koam wrote back to me, Alexander, Nick and Harrison. Really! Mrs. Penrose made copies of the letters so everybody can read them. I’m keeping my real letter to sell on eBay. I don’t think she’s that famous, but maybe I could get five bucks for it.

  Not richly yours yet,

  P.S. Omar, I spelled famous right. I used to spell it famus.

  — FROM THE DESK OF MALI KOAM —

  Dear Carly,

  Thank you for your letter. I’m sorry that you disliked the cover of my book. To tell you the truth, I didn’t like the cover either. Often, writers do not get to choose their book covers. The publishers do that because they’re the one
s paying for the book to be produced. My hope is that you’ll take a chance and crack it open. Once you get past the cover, you might enjoy it. As they say, you can’t judge a book by its cover.

  As for getting rich quick by writing books, I’m afraid I don’t have good news. It took me ten years of writing before I got my first book published. Even though I have published twelve books, I am not rich. Writing is hard work. I wake up every day and write from nine to five o’clock (with a break for a walk and lunch). Although I don’t make a lot of money, I love my work.

  Happy reading,

  — FROM THE DESK OF MALI KOAM —

  Dear Alexander,

  Thank you for your thoughtful offer to haunt me. That’s a first. You clearly enjoy a thrilling read, and you are inspiring me to consider writing a scary story. The problem is I am a big chicken.

  The illustration you included was terrific and terrifying. Excellent work.

 

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