* * *
What in the hell was he doing?
He invites the woman to dinner to talk about his daughter’s problems in school then ends up dumping his life story on her before all but jumping her on his back deck.
The crazy thing was, he wanted to do it all over again. The kissing part, anyway. Justin could still taste her on his lips, that subtle, sweetly erotic taste of raspberry and cream and Ashley.
It was crazy. He knew it was impossible, but he ached to taste her again.
Focus, he chided himself and jerked his attention back to the conversation between Ruby and her teacher.
“See how twirly it is?” Ruby exclaimed, her arms wide as she did circles around the living room, where they had adjourned since there was more light to show off the sparkles.
Justin wasn’t sure he was prepared for this primpy stage to start. Ruby was showing all the signs of someone who would be seriously girlie and he had no idea how to handle the rest of it. Just thinking about makeup and boyfriends and hair spray made him break into a cold sweat.
At least he had a few more years before he had to worry about that.
“You look just like a princess,” Ashley assured Ruby. Her color was high, he saw, and she didn’t look at him as she spoke.
Ruby preened, oblivious to the tension between them. “I’m going to wear it to a wedding. My friend Sierra’s mom is getting married next month and we’re going to Hawaii for it and I get to swim in the ocean and maybe see a dolphin.”
She had been delirious with excitement about the whole thing, from the moment Natalie Brooks invited them along. Nat was his first leading lady and one of the few people he stayed in touch with in Hollywood.
“I don’t get to be the flower girl because Sierra does,” Ruby went on, “but I can wear my new dress and maybe have a lei, too.”
Ashley gave a smile that looked forced and he would have given just about anything to know what was running through her head right about now. “How fun,” she murmured. “You and your father will have to take lots of pictures so you can bring them back for the rest of the class to see.”
“Okay. I will.” She looked thrilled at the idea for just a moment before she frowned and her excitement slipped away. “Um, I’ll have to see. I’ll probably forget.”
Right. Ruby remembered the names and birthdays and favorite colors of everyone she had ever met. This sudden reluctance was part of whatever game she had been playing at school. He sighed, knowing the time for socializing was over.
“Ruby, if you’re done showing off your new dress, we need to talk about what’s happening in school. You know that’s why Miss Barnes is here.”
Panic flared in her eyes suddenly, and she started edging for the stairs. “I better go change out of my dress before I get it all dirty.”
“Come back here,” he said, his voice stern. “We’re going to sit down right now and discuss how you’ve been acting.”
Sixteen
“DO I HAVE TO?” Ruby asked, looking suddenly miserable.
“Yeah, you do, shortcake.”
“You’ll be mad.”
“Probably. But we still have to talk about it.”
She perched on the edge of a leather ottoman, her hands tightly folded on her lap. He sighed, not sure where to start.
“I thought you loved school,” he finally said. “You talk about it all the time. But Miss Barnes says you’re not doing your work and you’re not participating in class. What’s going on?”
“I was just pretending I didn’t like school,” she said, her voice small. She lifted her gaze to give her teacher a look of earnest entreaty. “I really do, Miss Barnes. I promise. I love playtime and I love circle time and I love snack time. My favorite is story time. I love, love, love story time.”
Ashley gazed at her, her lovely features baffled. “Why would you want to pretend you don’t like it? It’s wonderful to love learning!”
Ruby’s chin wobbled. “It was Sierra’s idea. She’s my friend in California. She said if I was bad in class, my dad would have to come to school for a conference. And then he would fall in love with you and you would get married like Sierra’s mom is getting married and then you could be my new mom.”
Okay. This was just about the most horrifying moment of his life. A dead silence greeted Ruby’s stunning declaration and Justin couldn’t think what to do, what to say. He risked a look at Ashley and saw her features had leached of all color. Not a good sign.
He knew he had to step into the terrible silence. “Ruby...” he began, then faltered as he found himself at a loss for words. “People don’t, uh, fall in love like that,” he said after a moment. “You can’t manipulate them into doing what you want just because you want it. Life doesn’t work that way.”
Sometimes it did, though. He had to be crazy, but he suddenly knew he was in serious danger of falling for this soft, sweet woman who loved children and smelled like a dream.
“But Miss Barnes already loves you, Daddy. You just have to fall in love with her.”
“What?” Ashley exclaimed. To his somewhat thunderstruck fascination, all the color soaked back into her cheeks in a hot, relentless tide.
Ruby fidgeted, looking almost as miserable as Ashley. “I heard Miss Weller in the school office talking to you about Daddy a few days after school started. I had a stomachache and went to lie down in the sick-kid place, and I heard her ask if you had met Daddy yet and you said no and Miss Weller asked if you would mention at parent-teacher conference that you had his picture in your locker in school and that you used to write Mrs. Justin Hartford on things.”
Seventeen
HE HEARD A soft sound of distress coming from somewhere in Ashley’s vicinity, but he didn’t dare look at her.
“So then I thought how nice you are,” Ruby went on, “and how I wanted you to be my mom but I didn’t know what to do. I told Sierra when we went to visit them and she thought I should be bad in school. It was really hard and I didn’t want to. But I wanted you to be my mommy really bad, so I did it, anyway. I’m sorry.”
After she finished, there was a long, terrible silence and all Justin could focus on was how much he would have preferred it if Ashley hadn’t known who he was back then. He had a wild, sudden wish that she had met him only the day before.
He wanted her to know only the man he was today, not some image on a screen that had never been real. His chest ached suddenly and he had to fight the urge to rub his hand against it.
Finally, he managed to speak. “That was very wrong of you, Ruby. I’m disappointed that you would be so deceitful. You’ve wasted three weeks of the school year for nothing and now you’re going to be behind all the others in your class.”
“I’m sorry, Daddy.”
“I don’t think I’m the one you need to apologize to.”
Her chin quivered but she rose and stood in front of Ashley, who looked close to tears herself. “I’m sorry, Miss Barnes. I do like you and I can be good. I promise.”
Ashley cleared her throat, still not looking at him. “Does this mean you’re going to do better from now on? No more of these...these crazy ideas?”
“I promise. You’ll see. I’ll be the best kid in the whole class! I’ll do all my work on time and I’ll raise my hand and everything.”
“Good. I’m, uh, certainly glad to hear that.” She rose abruptly. “I... Now that we’ve cleared that up, I should go.”
“You don’t have to,” Justin said.
“Yes. I do.”
He couldn’t argue with the vehemence in her voice, and in truth he knew he would be relieved when she was gone. She still didn’t look at him once as he and a now-dejected Ruby walked her to her impractical little car.
“Ruby, I’ll see you Monday in school,” she said, with what sounded like false brightness in her voice. “Thank you again for dinner
.”
She climbed into her car, started it and took off down the driveway. He hit the buzzer to open the gates just as she reached them, wondering if it could possibly be only a day since he had found her climbing over them.
As her taillights headed down Cold Creek Road, he held Ruby’s hand and watched them disappear.
How insane. She only blew into his life the day before, but he knew as he watched her drive away that she had left footprints on his heart. He would miss her laughter and her softness and her sweet, infectious smile.
He had to let her go. He had no choice. Anything between them was impossible. Even before he found out she had once been a fan of his movies, he knew he could never do anything about this terrifying tenderness growing inside him.
That didn’t make the regret any less bitter.
Eighteen
SHE WAS GOING to die—just pull her Bug over somewhere along the banks of the Cold Creek, curl up in the front seat and wither away from absolute mortification.
But Miss Barnes already loves you, Daddy. You just have to fall in love with her.
Oh, this was the most awful moment of Ashley’s life. It was bad enough that he should find out from his daughter about the crush she used to have on him. It was far worse that she had to be sitting three feet away from him when he did!
She forced herself to concentrate on the driving until she had reached the town limits and her own little white clapboard house. Once home, she pulled into her driveway and buried her face in her hands. She felt miserable. Completely wretched. All she could think about was the soft, seductive heat of their kiss and the way she wanted to lean into him and let him hold her forever.
Tears burned behind her eyes. She used to have a crush on a one-dimensional image on the screen, gorgeous and strong and heroic. But she was very much afraid she had lost her heart to the man behind that image. Even through her absolute horror as she had listened to Ruby’s scheme, as the girl had talked about how much she wanted a mommy—how much she had wanted Ashley for a mommy—she had wanted it, too.
She still did. She ached with it, with the possibilities he had stirred up inside her by the tender heat of that kiss. She indulged in those possibilities—okay, those impossibilities—for only a moment then she dropped her hands and squared her shoulders.
It was over. She had shared one wonderful starlit night with him and with Ruby and that was all she would ever have. She just needed to put the whole humiliating experience behind her, forget about her teenage crush and the wonderful man she had found in real life, and figure out how to move on.
* * *
The weather turned cold and grim the next day as an icy rain blew down out of Montana to soak the mountains. It matched her mood perfectly, but did nothing to help lift her spirits.
As promised, Monday saw a dramatic turnaround in the Ruby Problem. The girl reverted to the sweet, sunny child she had been the first few days of school. No more belligerence or defiance. She handed in perfect assignments, she answered more questions than anyone else in class, she sat as still as a five-year-old could possibly manage during circle time.
The only black mark Ashley could have put in the Ruby column was that the girl apparently hadn’t given up her ridiculous matchmaking. Every day at recess, she would hover around Ashley, filling her ears with stories about her father that only made Ashley fall deeper for him. She tried her best to discourage her, but Ruby wouldn’t be deterred.
She could only wonder what kinds of stories about her Ruby was carrying back to Justin.
She had to admit, she was always glad to see the last of the girl when her great-aunt Lydia arrived to pick her up every afternoon in a sleek Range Rover.
On Friday, though, Ruby was the last child waiting at pickup and Lydia and her Range Rover were nowhere in sight. The cold, relentless rain dropped in sheets and even under the awning in front of the elementary school, it was miserable.
“Let’s go inside and wait,” she said to Ruby. “We can go back to the classroom and call your great-aunt to find out what’s going on.”
To her dismay, Ruby looked thrilled for a little more time in her company and Ashley sighed. She was growing to care far too much about the little girl, too. She set Ruby up with crayons and paper and looked through her files for Ruby’s contact information so she could dial Lydia’s cell number. She had just found the right paper and pulled it out when she heard a noise by the door and Ruby shrieked with delight.
“Daddy! Daddy!”
Nineteen
ASHLEY JERKED HER gaze up, just in time to see Justin standing in the doorway, looking strong and masculine and wonderful, before Ruby rushed to him and threw her arms around his waist.
“I missed you so much, Daddy. Did you buy a new horse on your trip?”
“A couple of them.” He hugged his daughter, but his gaze rested on Ashley and she felt hot and cold at the same time.
“Are they pretty?” Ruby asked.
“Beautiful,” he murmured, but his gaze never left her. A wild heat flared inside her and she couldn’t seem to catch her breath. Try, she ordered herself harshly. The last thing she needed right now was to hyperventilate and pass out at his feet. Then he would really think she was an obsessed fan.
“I was really good for Miss Barnes all week,” Ruby told him. “Wasn’t I, Miss Barnes?”
She cleared her throat and tried to force her oxygen-starved brain to function again. “Uh, yes. You were wonderful.”
“Oh!” Ruby said suddenly. “I forgot my leaf pictures. I left them in Mrs. Cook’s classroom in art class so they could dry, but I need to take them home and show Aunt Liddy.”
In a heartbeat, she rushed out the door, leaving the two of them alone.
Ashley couldn’t look at Justin, but she was aware of him moving into the classroom and walking closer to her desk.
“How are you?” he asked.
She finally lifted her gaze at the quiet sincerity in his voice. “Still more embarrassed than I’ve ever been in my life,” she admitted.
“You have no reason to be embarrassed. It was my daughter who tried to play matchmaker.”
“Ruby would never have gotten the crazy idea in her head if I hadn’t been talking about you with Marcy.” She sighed, knowing she had to confront this or she would never be able to look him in the eye again. “Marcy has been my best friend since second grade. She knew all about my silly crush on you. Everyone knew. I’m afraid I was a little obsessed. I was fourteen and you were, well, you. You were heroic and passionate and...and gorgeous.”
Her face flared with color and she knew she had to be beet-red, but she cleared her throat and plowed on. “Marcy thinks it’s a hilarious twist of fate that I’m teaching your daughter, all these years later, and she’s been teasing me about it since school started. That’s what Ruby overheard, just two old friends remembering something that seems another lifetime ago.”
He was quiet and she thought she saw something like pain flicker in his eyes.
“You know I’m not that man, right? I hated being a celebrity. I never wanted it. Everything just sort of fell into my lap. I was more surprised than anybody when I turned out to be moderately good at making movies, and for a while it was heady and addicting and I got sucked into the whole thing. But for my own survival, I had to get out when I did and I’ve never been sorry.”
“I know. I don’t see that heartthrob anymore when I look at you, Justin. Not after the other night.”
He seemed to absorb that for a moment, then to her shock, he reached for her hand. “What do you see?” he asked, and the sudden intensity in his voice snatched away her breath again.
Twenty
ASHLEY’S HEART RACED and she was certain Justin must be able to hear the blood pulsing loudly in her ears. “I see a man who loves his daughter. Someone trying to do his best by her. I see someone funny and sweet who coo
ks a mean steak and does a lousy John Wayne impression. And I see someone who made me forget my own name when he kissed me,” she added in a whisper.
His fingers tightened on hers. “I’ve spent six days thinking about that kiss, Ashley. Thinking about you.”
She blinked as his words soaked through her lingering discomfort. He had thought about it, too? About her, about the magic she thought she had only dreamed?
“Oh?” she managed.
“For years I’ve been telling myself I didn’t need a woman in my life, that Ruby and I were doing just fine on our own. Suddenly, I’m not so sure.”
“You’re...not?”
He shook his head and pulled her to her feet. “I don’t know how it happened, and I certainly wasn’t looking for it. But when you climbed the gates of my ranch, somehow you climbed through the walls I’ve built around my heart.”
As his arms slid around her, a heady kind of joy flooded through her like that rain outside, only this was sweet and cleansing. He kissed her, his mouth strong and warm, and she sighed a welcome.
This was real, she realized with shock. Real and right and worlds better than anything she could have imagined as a silly, giddy teenager.
She lost herself in the kiss, yanking off his Stetson and burying her hands in his thick hair as she poured all the emotions of her heart into her response. When he pulled away, they were both breathing hard. Through the delicious haze, she sensed movement in the doorway and they both turned to find Ruby standing there.
Her leaf pictures were scattered at her feet, her clasped hands were pressed to her heart and her wide eyes glittered with a thousand stars.
“It worked,” she breathed. “It really worked!”
Justin groaned. “I think we’ve created a monster.”
Together for Christmas Page 29
