by S. M. Soto
Somehow, I manage to pick myself up off the floor and crawl into bed. What feels like hours later, I wake up to commotion coming from the hall.
What the hell?
With my pulse pounding in my throat, I tentatively climb out of bed and pad toward the door. Peeking my head out, my eyes widen at the sight before me. Dressed in familiar black gear, a few of the guys stride back and forth down the halls with purpose. They’re carrying big black duffel bags, and they all seem to be headed down stairs. Spotting bald, bearded, Ricky, I call out to him trying to get his attention.
“Hey!”
He pauses with his duffel slung over his shoulder and turns to me with a frown. Taking a step outside the door, I make a point of looking around before asking, “What’s happening?”
“Mission deploys.”
His words constrict my airways. I swallow thickly, tamping down the worry building in my chest.
“Garrett?” I ask, wiping my sweaty hands down my pants.
“He’s not leaving with the group. Don’t worry,” he says with what I think is his version of a smile. I blow out a sigh and sag in relief. Through the chaos, I navigate the halls looking for my brother.
When I find him, my heartbeat finally reverts to normal. I just needed to see with my own eyes that he wasn’t leaving.
“Hey, you alright?” Garrett crosses the room within seconds with a frown on his face.
“Yeah. Yeah, I’m fine. I was worried you were leaving.”
He looks around at the guys around us who are preparing to leave. Tilting his head toward the ceiling, he blows out a breath before turning back to me.
“I’m not going with them. Not this time. I had to fight with everyone just to convince them to let me stay. I’m the lucky the handler even agreed to it. It’s dangerous for the guys to be one man short. Soon, I’ll be out there again Sophia. I know that’s not what you want to hear, but I’m not going to lie to you.”
“I know. I’ll be ready when that happens, but…”
“Not right now?” He finishes for me with a small tilt to his lips.
“Exactly,” I say on an exhale. Truthfully, I’m not sure I’ll ever be ready for him to leave, but I’m hoping with time, I can get past it.
“Don’t miss me too much while I’m away, love.” Fin says from his position across the room with that signature grin. I fight back a smile but fail in the end.
“I’ll try not to,” I say with a laugh and a wink for show. I can practically feel Garrett rolling his eyes beside me which in turn makes me chuckle, elbowing him in the ribs.
“Oh, lighten up, big brother. He’s joking.”
“Better be,” he grumbles under his breath. This time I shake my head and roll my eyes before striding purposefully toward the kitchen.
I help Mera clean up the remnants of dinner, before heading to bed. The walls echo with silence as I make the trek back to my room. Of their own accord, my eyes travel across the hall toward his room. The door is shut tight, making me wonder if he’s in there, or if he left on the mission too. Taking a step forward, I’m just about to knock on the door and find out, when suddenly a hand lands on my shoulder. My heart lodges itself in my throat and I whirl around trying to catch my breath.
“You scared the crap out me! What the hell are you doing, Gar?” I shove my brother in his solid chest with one hand while placing the other over my heart to slow the rapid beating.
“Sorry, you were just standing there, staring blankly into space. I was trying to get your attention.”
“Yeah, well attention got. Thanks a lot.” I blow out a breath, walking toward my room.
“Headed to bed?” He asks with a hint of something else in his tone. It gives me pause. I can’t place what the emotion is.
“Yeah.” I swallow loudly, my eyes quickly darting to Creed’s door. “Surprisingly for someone that does nothing all day long, I find myself exhausted by the end of the day,” I say, trying to ease the mood. My brother frowns and I can see the cogs turning in his head.
“Tomorrow, why don’t you hang out with me? I have some work stuff to do, but maybe you’ll feel better if you have company. Did you already run out of books, should I order more?”
My mouth quirks into a small smile, “That sounds great, and more books would be greatly appreciated.”
Smiling, he says, “All right, got it. See you tomorrow, Soph.”
“Night Gar.”
THE NEXT MORNING, I WAKE up to Garrett knocking at my door. Rolling onto my side, I look at the time on the clock before blowing out an exasperated sigh.
Seriously? Seven in the morning?
This is not what I had in mind when Garrett said we would be spending time together.
“You decent?” He asks from the other side of the door.
“Hardly,” I grumble into the sheets.
Pushing open the door, he strides inside with his hands on his hips. “Get dressed we have things to do,” he says with amusement in his voice.
“Are we going outside?” Hope immediately lines my chest. His face falls a bit, but he recovers quickly.
“No, but this is just as good.”
I feign excitement and wait for him to leave the room, so I can dress. Dragging myself into the bathroom I try to hold back a desperate groan.
Good to Garrett can’t possibly mean the same thing to me, can it?
I had hoped today we would go somewhere, or at the very least go outside, but of course I guess that’s too much to ask. I dress quickly and carelessly, preparing myself for another day of imprisonment. At least this time, there’s my brother to keep me company.
“What are we even doing?” I ask as we walk into the debriefing office that holds the long formidable looking table.
“You’ll see,” he says sitting at the desk at the head of the room, firing up the laptop. I take the empty seat across from the desk and let my eyes trail across the room. There’s nothing on the walls, not even a single window, just a long oak desk and file cabinets. Garrett spins the laptop around showing me the screen and I try not to laugh.
“Seriously, Gar?”
“At least now, you’ll be able to choose the books you want to read,” he says pointing to the Barnes and Noble tab. Just as I’m about to put my foot in my mouth and reply, Creed strolls into the room with a black file in his hand. He pauses for a second, briefly locking eyes with me, before turning to my brother.
“There’s something you need to see.”
Garrett moves out of the chair, allowing Creed to sit and grabs the file from his hand, flipping through the pages I hear his sharp intake of breath and his muffled cursing.
I peek at Creed through my hair, only to find him glaring at me from his position across the room. A tremor runs through my body urging my gaze toward the laptop, as I try to keep myself busy. I scroll through the romance library, trying to find something interesting, all the while still trying to pay attention to what else is going on in the room.
“We need to move quick, now that everyone is gone. It’ll be easier to figure out who it is.”
“How do you know it’s one of our men, Creed? Why can’t the handler figure it out? Shit, it could be me and you’re waving this file in front of my face like you don’t have a damn care in the world.”
“Cova, I know it isn’t you because one, you’re too preoccupied with your sister to have the time or resources to do this. Two, no one guilty of this would be upset about not being suspected.”
“Fuck,” Garrett growls. “It’s impossible. We know every guy here, Creed. We’re solid.” He argues.
“We work with criminals—hell, we are the criminals. Nothing’s impossible, Cova. You know that better than anyone.”
My eyes dart between Garrett and Creed as they heatedly stare at each other. I try to make sense of what they’re saying, but for the most part they’re speaking in code.
“So, what? You guys think someone in here is selling your intel and secrets?” I blurt out, tired of pre
tending like I’m not eavesdropping.
“It doesn’t concern you,” Creed says dismissively, and I level a glare at him.
Asshole.
“It does concern me,” I retort. “If I’m living here with someone who’s deceiving you guys, I think I have a right to know.” I cross my arms over my chest and dare him with my eyes to fight me on this.
“Fuck, she’s right. They’re doing a whole lot more than selling intel and our secrets. We need to figure out who it is,” Garrett says, backing me up. I give Creed a triumphant smile and watch in satisfaction as the muscle in his jaw tics angrily.
“We’ll find him. Or them. But we need to be silent about this. One word gets out, and all the crumbs leading to the traitor will be gone. The trail goes cold.” Creed turns to me with an ice-cold glare. “You understand? Not a word.”
“I won’t.” I meet his cold glare head on, tired of him belittling me like I’m not right here. When I first met Creed, I thought he was an angel—my savior—sent to save me from the fires of hell, but the more time I spend around him, the more I realize how much of an asshole he is, not just to everyone but especially to me. He’s not here to save me from the fires of hell, he’s brought the fiery pits straight to me.
He treats everyone here like they’re beneath him or something, its infuriating. His cold and callous attitude to the guys is to be expected, but to me? I haven’t been around the guy long enough to deserve his hateful glares.
“Alright, sis.” Garrett says, rising to his feet. “I know I said we’d spend the day together but there’s something I have to do really quick. I should only be an hour, two tops, okay?”
“Yeah.” I follow him out of the office, back down the hall. “See you after your meeting then,” I say, putting emphasis on the word meeting. His brows dip down and he stares at me with an odd expression before checking his wrist for the time and cursing under his breath.
“Right. I gotta run.”
I wave him off indignantly, wishing I was the one heading out of this place for once.
Once Garrett is gone, I seek out Creed, and manage to catch up to him. Unthinkingly, I grip onto his arm, to get his attention, but he turns on me so fast I lose my balance and nearly crash face first into the wall.
“Holy shit,” I breathe out in surprise.
“What are you doing?” He replies in an emotionless tone that leaves every hair standing at attention. Brushing off the frightening effect he has on me, I straighten my back and glare up at him and his indignant tone. Remembering why I was searching for him in the first place, I hold onto my anger.
“What the hell is your problem? Why do you keep treating me like some…nuisance? I didn’t ask to be here.”
He stares back at me with no emotion, like what I’ve said means nothing to him. Those familiar stormy gray eyes glare back at me. “I treat you just like everyone else here.”
“That’s bullshit. I don’t know why you don’t like me, but, get over it. I’m obviously not leaving anytime soon, and if I have to deal with your asshole glares any longer I’m going to freaking lose it.”
He stares down at me with a look akin to hatred in his eyes before brushing me off. “I think it’s time you go find your brother.”
My hands ball into fists at my sides, and my nails dig into the palm of my hand. “He’s gone, so it looks like it’s just you and me, asshole.”
He raises a brow at me, surprised at my name calling. Narrowing my eyes, I silently hope he’ll say something that will really piss me off. Being cooped up in here with no sun isn’t good for anyone’s sanity, and mine at the moment is questionable.
“I’m sure you can find something else to do in the meantime,” he says brushing past me. I turn around, eyes wide in disbelief.
“You really are a dick.”
He pauses a few steps away and turns back toward me with a cold smirk. “I’ve never pretended to be anything else.”
My mouth drops open in shock as I watch him stiffly walk away without a care in the world.
I take a deep breath to calm myself, before heading straight to the little library Garrett had made for me. Once inside, the smell of pages and books infiltrate my senses, calming me almost immediately. Snatching one of my favorites off the shelf, I settle into the cozy reading nook and read on until I’m immersed in a world of someone else’s problems. And that’s where my brother eventually finds me, curled up against the arm of the lounger with my nose shoved deeply in the book.
“Am I interrupting?”
Peeking my head up from the pages, I shake my head.
“Not really. You’re coming to my rescue. I’m a bit tired of reading.”
Garrett exaggerates a gasp, clasping his hand to the center of his chest. “Never thought I’d see the day.”
Closing the book with a chuckle, I set it down on the lounger and turn to my brother with a serious gaze.
“Are you ever going to tell me where you go?”
His body goes stiff, and his eyes drift to the closed book near my feet.
“No,” he says, blowing out a sigh. “No, I’m not.”
My frustration with my brother, Creed, and all the secrets everyone is keeping from me starts to bubble over. Shooting to my feet, I push past Garrett and head toward my room. It’s the only place I can go. I don’t have the privilege to hide outside or go somewhere to clear my head. My room and these goddamn walls are all I have.
“Soph, wait.” I hear my brother’s weak attempt to get me to stay, but I brush it off. I just need time to myself to clear my head, and figure out what the hell is going on, and why everyone is keeping so many secrets.
Instead of going to my room as intended, I head inside the solitude of the sitting room. Perching on the edge of the couch, I close my eyes against the dim lighting and think about home. Before any of this happened. I think about my best friend Alexis, I think about school and my job, and how much I took the little things for granted. A tear slips out of the corner of my eye and my bottom lip trembles.
I miss the way my life used to be. I miss being innocently naïve to all the evil and vile things this world has to offer. I miss my freedom. And most of all, I miss my old self. The girl that was carefree and happy, not this shell I’ve turned into. My soul feels besmirched with darkness, my mind is clouded by evil memories, and the harsh whispers are my reality—no matter where I am, who I’m with, I still don’t truly feel safe.
The floorboards make a whiny creak, startling me out of my thoughts. Turning toward the source, I wipe my eyes on the sleeve of my shirt, meeting Creed’s intense gaze. Indignation floods my body and senses.
“What? Did you come to tell me how stupid I am? What a waste my tears are? Because I really don’t give a shit.”
He doesn’t say anything or acknowledge me. Instead, he places something on the wooden coffee table before smoothly turning on his heels, walking away with a calm stride. Rolling my eyes at his retreating back, I shift my gaze to the table and my stupid heart stutters in my chest. Left in the center of the table is a brand-new box of Kleenex. My eyes drift back toward the door where Creed exited no more than thirty seconds ago, and I’m right back to square one trying to figure him out.
WHEN THE SMELL OF HERBS and fresh baked bread drift through the room, my stomach growls loudly, alerting me it’s been too long since I last ate.
Heading to the kitchen, I make note of the soft conversation that ceases when I walk into the room. Mera, Creed and my brother all eye me for a brief second before digging back in to their food. My upper lip curls in anger, but I suppress the urge to react by serving myself a plate.
Dinner is much quieter than expected—especially since there’s bit of hesitancy and awkwardness radiating around the table. With everyone out on a mission, there’s no male laughter, or crude banter. Just silence.
And Creed.
I can’t help but openly stare at him over dinner. One minute he’s acting like a total dickhead, then the next he’s bringing me a
box of tissues when he catches me crying. For the life of me, I don’t know what to make of this guy. Part of me thinks my brother sent him after me to make sure I was okay, but the other part of me thinks there’s more to him than what meets the eye. He has to be more than this callous and cold person he makes himself out to be. Or at the very least, I hope there’s some redeeming qualities to him.
“Thank you, Mera. It was delicious,” Creed says in that deep baritone, as he gets up from his position at the table, pulling me from my thoughts.
“You’re very welcome, Creed. I made some cake for dessert if you’re interested,” Mera replies to his retreating back.
“No thank you, ma’am,” he says, never once stopping his stride. I watch him walk away, broad back muscles flexing with each movement, until I can no longer see him. I suck in a lungful of air once he’s gone. His overbearing presence no longer weighing down on me.
“Well, I’ll leave you both to it. Goodnight,” Mera says anxiously, almost like she’s vying to get out of here. Patting my shoulder, she shoots me a reassuring smile before she ducks out. I furrow my brows in question and turn toward Garrett.
“I still can’t get over how awkward it is without everyone here.”
“I think it’s nice,” he says shoveling a spoonful of beef stew in his mouth. “There’s actually something I’d like to talk to you about.”
“Oh?”
“I’m needed on the assignment, with the other guys. I know I said I wouldn’t leave you, but there’s something fishy going on there and they need an extra set of eyes and ears. Handlers orders.”
