by S. M. Soto
I shake my head, clearing my mind of those thoughts. With a deep breath, I convince myself to stay positive. Maybe one day, when everything returns to normal I’ll finally see my best friend again, but for right now, all I have is the memories to get me through. Tamping my melancholy down I focus on the fact that I’m finally getting out tonight. It may not be anything special, but dinner outside of this place is much better than nothing at all.
Brushing a comb through my long mane of hair, I try to tame it as best as possible before leaving. For the most part I’m lucky, I don’t have wild hair that needs tons of product just to sit flat. If I did, I’d be shit out of luck. I think the last thing my brother needs to be worried about is buying hair care products for me. Thankfully, my hair is long and straight with these random waves interspersed. It’s not difficult by any means. Running my hands over a few fly-aways, I check my reflection one last time before meeting Garrett and the rest of the guys.
The car ride through the lowly populated city is riveting. The scenery, the streets, and the people…it’s all too much. It’s been so long since I’ve seen any people, other than Garrett and his men, that it’s a bit of a shock to see others. Lush green trees surround us, and hill after hill rolls by us as we travel along the winding road. My eyes are glued to the window as the scenery rolls past like a movie reel. Crest Fall, Missouri. That’s where we are. Or at the very least, that’s what the billboard advertisement says. It’s surreal, being outside of California, I almost don’t believe any of this is real.
The restaurant we pull into is a modernized mom and pop spot called Larry’s Steak House Diner. It reminds me of a log cabin, with all the wood and brick molding. We used only one SUV and one car for us all, because half the men had to stay back and hold down the fort. Garrett’s words, not mine. Ricky and Kam stayed back along with Mera who wasn’t interested in coming.
Immediately upon entering, the first person to greet us is a beautiful strawberry blonde who takes even my breath away. She has long strawberry blonde hair that’s braided, resting on her shoulder and she greets everyone with a familiar smile. When her eyes land on my brother, I can’t help but notice the way her doe eyes sparkle, and her smile widens. I shift my gaze to my brother, out of the corner of my eye. He stares at the blonde woman with an expression I’m unfamiliar with. Looking back at her, I cock my head to the side as I run my eyes over her.
I have a feeling I know who she is.
When her gaze finally lands on me, she eyes me warily for a few seconds as she sees how close I am to Gar. Her face pinches into a frown prompting me to smile to myself. I definitely know who she is now.
Garrett stares at her far too long for it to be normal, or comfortable. I step forward, plastering a smile on my face, deciding to introduce myself since it seems my brother is suddenly incapable of speech.
“Hi, I’m Sophia.”
I jut my hand out between us, waiting for her to shake. Her eyes dart from my hand to my face then to Garrett, repeatedly. Finally, she plasters on a forced smile and reaches out, shaking my hand.
“I’m Wendy, it’s nice to meet you.”
There’s a twang to her words, some sort of accent that I can’t place. I’ve never been much good at accents, nor placing them, but if I’m not mistaken, I sense a bit of southern in her tone.
“Wendy.” I repeat her name, shooting my brother a look and waggle my brows. His lips thin and he nudges me in the ribs.
At the gleam in my eyes, he subtly shakes his head no. A scowl forming on his scruffy, five o’clock shadowed face.
“I’ve heard so many wonderful things about you from my brother, Wendy. I’m glad I finally get to put a face and name with all the stories I’ve heard. He really doesn’t know when to keep his mouth shut when it comes to you.”
Wendy’s jaw unhinges, and I swear, her entire body sags in relief. Pink coats her cheeks as she shifts her gaze to my brother, who coincidentally looks like someone just told him the world was ending. His face is drained of all color, and he looks bewildered, like he doesn’t even have words for this situation.
I leave the two of them to their own devices and follow the rest of the guys to an empty table that most of them are already seated at. Finlay kicks out the open chair next to him with an inviting grin on his face. With a rueful shake of my head, I smile and accept the seat. I make certain the seat to my left isn’t taken for my brother. He’ll blow a gasket if I sit next to Finlay when he isn’t around.
Settling into the chair, I listen to the conversation of the guys around the table. As I scan the menu, I feel the air charge with static electricity, eliciting a deep body shiver only one person is capable of. Peeking through my curtain of hair, I see a large, built body slide into the seat across from me. My eyes slowly track up the well-defined body, to the solid chest, and finally, they land on riveting gray pools that make my heart race. Creed stares at me expressionless, the heat and scent emanating from his body skews my normally functioning brain. Even from his position across the table, he still has a profound effect on me and my body. His eyes flick to my chest that is heaving unnaturally to accommodate my heavy breathing. Ever so slowly he trails his eyes back up to mine and his mouth twitches at the corners as he fights a smirk, knowing full well the effect he has on me and my body.
“What are you having, love?”
Finlay’s voice startles me, making me jump in my chair at being caught ogling Creed. Swinging my gaze to his, I raise my brows in question, all the while trying to slow my erratic heartbeat.
“Have you decided?” His eyes flick to the pixie haired server waiting patiently behind us. My face heats in embarrassment as I realize everyone’s waiting on me to order.
Quickly, I choose a burger and fries, ducking in my seat to avoid further embarrassment. Looking up through my lashes I find Creed scowling at Finlay from across the table. His hands are fisted on the heavy wood, next to neatly folded silverware and his jaw ticks back and forth. As if sensing my stare, his eyes pin me in place, the look he gives me flips my stomach and takes my breath away. There’s so much intensity in those metallic eyes, I feel it swirl around us, wrapping around me and Creed like a thick blanket.
“You all right?”
I snap my head to Garrett, who’s seated next to me, staring at me with a concerned expression on his face. I’ve been so caught up in Creed and the way he makes me feel when he’s near, that I didn’t even notice when my brother sat down next to me. I swallow roughly and force a smile.
“Yeah. Yeah, I’m fine.”
Sitting between Garrett and Finlay during dinner should be a distraction in itself, but I’m unable to keep my focus off Creed, and the busty woman with the pixie haircut who keeps running her ample breasts all over his shoulder. Yes, the same woman that is our server also happens to be a whore. That might sound mean but seeing her flirt with Creed and rest her finely manicured fingernails on him makes my blood boil. Anger roars through my veins as I attempt to eat my food in a semi-civil manner. I roughly dip a fry into my ketchup repeatedly, imaging maiming the slutty pixie.
“That’s a lot of rage for one chip, love.”
I drop the fry onto my plate and look at Finlay who’s fighting back a smile. I narrow my eyes threateningly and jab a ketchup free fry at him.
“This is just how I eat fries. Leave me alone.”
With a low chuckle, he raises his hands feigning innocence and shakes his head subtly.
“Whatever you say, Sophia. I found it rather sexy. Is that how all-American women eat their chips?”
I roll my eyes tamping down the laugh that wants to bubble to the surface.
“Ha, ha.” I mock laugh, reverting to my angry fry eating. “And just so you know, the whole fry and chip thing, it’s confusing. Chips are chips, and fries are fries. There is no in between.” This time Finlay tosses his head back and laughs at me like I’m the most hilarious person on the planet.
I ignore Creed’s stare for the rest of the evening and I do
my best to ignore pixie woman, who seems to be sticking to him like white on rice. When I say I do my best ignore it, I don’t. Her presence makes my body coil in anger. My eyes narrow on the place her hand is resting on Creed’s, thick and veiny forearm. The same forearm that I find incredibly sexy. I grind my teeth together so hard it sounds like my tooth cracks. If I wasn’t aware of all the men surrounding me, I’d tackle her to the ground, challenging her to back off my man.
But he’s not really my man.
He’s not anything to me other than the man who saved me.
The realization is depressing.
When she tips her head back and laughs at something he says I. See. Red. Shooting out of my chair, I stomp away from the table in search of the restroom. It takes me a minute longer than it would if I was a regular here, but I still make it in record time.
Locking myself in the last stall, I stand there for a moment and try to gather myself. A giant thorn continues to twist in my heart as jealously fills my chest. It’s painful. Who knew jealousy could hurt? I sure as hell didn’t.
What really ticks me off, what really hurts the most is the fact that he smiled. He actually smiled at something she said. With me, he’s so serious, so sparse with his laughter and smiles, but with her, he just gives them away like freaking candy. I blow out a sigh when I hear the bathroom door open and conclude that I can’t hide in this stall forever.
Opening the door, I head straight for the sink to wash my hands, barely noticing Wendy shifting near the exit. I dry my hands on a paper towel and turn toward her with a questioning stare.
“I’m sorry for the way I acted earlier,” she blurts, still shifting nervously on her feet. I smile placatingly.
“Understandable.”
“When you were…gone. He was inconsolable. He was broken.” Her eyes mirror a sadness that tells me just how much pain my brother was in. I’m glad that he had someone like her to lean on at the time.
“I know,” I whisper.
“I should’ve known it was you when you both walked in. The resemblance is uncanny, but I just…this is weird, isn’t it?” She asks desperately, dropping her face in her hands. I chuckle and close the distance between us, pulling her hands away from her face.
“It’s not weird. We’re just two important women in his life that need more than a few minutes to connect.”
She gives me a wobbly, uncertain smile.
“Do you really think I’m important to him?”
There’s so much hope in her voice it makes my heart clench.
“I know you are.”
She smiles up at me brightly, and we both walk out of the bathroom in higher spirits than when we walked in.
I ignore Creed’s heated stare for the remainder of dinner. As we all gather to leave, I can’t help but notice Creed hanging back, as if he plans on staying. My heart splinters and it feels as if he’s just clawed my guts out, tossing them onto the tiled floor at his heavily booted feet. Just the thought of him with that woman makes me sick to my stomach—green with envy.
When we finally head home, I’m so angry and lost in my thoughts all I manage to give my brother is a curt goodnight when he deserves so much more for taking me out. It’s not his fault Creed and Tinker-Cunt ruined my entire night.
Encasing myself in the solitude of my room, I sit for what feels like hours, listening to any sounds out in the hall that would indicate Creed has come home. But there’s nothing. The house is unusually silent. So much so, I force myself out of bed and walk the dimmed halls. Snatching a book off the shelf, I plop down onto the reading nook into the corner of the library and try to lose myself in the words.
My eyes grow heavy, and I must doze off because I come to with a jolt. My eyes fly open, and that’s when I find Creed. His back is to me as he slips the book I was reading back onto the shelf of the library. His hair is a mess and almost as if I enjoy the torture, my mind thinks of all the ways Tinker-Cunt ran her fingers through his inky black hair. A sharp pain shoots through my chest then dissolves into a numbing sensation that consumes my whole body.
When his mercurial gaze lands on mine, I want to scream at him and cry. Instead, I quickly dart my eyes away, avoiding his stare. I avert my gaze to his chest, and that’s when I spot the red mark on his jaw. My heart plummets. It looks like red lipstick. The same red lipstick Ms. Pixie was wearing. My temper flares and my gaze snaps back to his indignantly.
“You look like you had an eventful night.” My voice drips with disdain and accusations. Creed’s brows dip, and for the first time ever, he looks mildly confused.
“You’re such a dick,” I growl in exasperation, shooting to my feet. “I’ve been nothing but nice to you, and yet all I get in return is you treating me like trash. But all she has to do is throw her tits in your face and you turn into the sweetest man on the planet. Is that all it would take Creed? A slutty girl throwing herself at you?” My chest heaves as I glare daggers at him.
Creed’s eyes narrow, and the muscle in his jaw twitches—his tell-tell sign of frustration. He doesn’t try to defend himself or refute any of my words which only fuels my anger. With a frustrated roll of my eyes, I shoulder past him angrily, ready for this night to be over with.
Thick fingers wrap around my arm, yanking me back in place. I glare up at Creed as the heat from his grip sears the skin of my arm. I try to ignore the tingle his touch evokes, but it’s no use. Even though I’m angry at him, my body is a traitorous whore who hasn’t gotten the memo. Dark shadows cross his face as he stares down at me. Irritation brews in those expressive eyes. A lock of inky black hair falls onto his forehead, dipping over his eye. I want to brush it away and run my hands through the rest, but I don’t. Someone has already beaten me to it.
Of their own accord, my eyes drift to the red mark on his cheek. Up this close it looks just like a bruise or lipstick and seeing as he didn’t have the red mark before dinner, I’m guessing it’s the latter. My heart squeezes in my chest as I try to slip out of his grasp but it’s no use. His grip is relentless.
“You. Are. Not. Trash,” he grinds out as I struggle against his hold. I stop fighting against him and glare up at him trying not to let the emotion show in my eyes.
“Then why do you treat me like I am?”
It looks like he wants to say something but decides better.
This time I do manage to yank my arm free. I stride away from him with purpose until he opens his mouth, stopping me in my tracks.
“Because someone like you shouldn’t be around a man like me.”
Slowly, I turn on my heel and regard him silently from across the room. He stands there in the center of the room taking up the entire space. The day-old scruff on his face makes him look dark, and rugged, more so than usual.
“What’s that supposed to mean?”
“You’re still good, Sophia. You still have a heart, and soul. I don’t. I never have.”
His response beguiles me.
He doesn’t feel worthy enough of my presence? The way he says it, with so much conviction in those words, it makes me long to reach out to him. It makes me want to tell him that he does still have all those things. He just doesn’t realize it yet.
Turning back around I walk out of the room, stopping just over the threshold. I look back at him over my shoulder to find him watching me closely. Predatorily and protectively. The look does something to my heart. My eyes sting with unshed tears.
“That heart that you’re so sure is dead? It’s still there, Creed. I’ve seen it. I can only hope that one day, you will too.”
With that, I walk out of the room, leaving him alone.
For once, I’m not the one left behind trying to understand the beguiling man. This time…this time he’s the one standing there, alone, left to his own devices.
I TAKE A LARGE SWIG from the water bottle, sucking down the contents like it’s liquid gold. Sweat drips down every crevice of my body, even rolling into my eyes.
“Ready to go again?” Garre
tt asks with a smug grin in his tone.
“Jesus, Gar, we just barely took a break. Can you give me longer than two seconds to catch my breath?” I shoot back incredulously. Garrett raises his hands in surrender, a knowing grin plastered on his face.
“Hey, you were the one that wanted to learn self-defense. Don’t get all mad at me for training you the way you need to be trained.”
“I hardly think lifting weights and doing pushups is considered self-defense, Gar,” I retort with a scowl etched on my sweaty face.
“You have no upper body strength whatsoever, Soph. How the hell do you expect to fight off an attacker if your arms look like goddamn crayons? Push them too hard and they might snap in half.”
“Now you’re just being ridiculous,” I say, propping my hand on my hip.
“Stop stalling and get ready to go again,” he orders. I toss my head back and groan.
Damn you, Creed.
After an intense self-defense session, I drag my limp body into the shower, hoping the water will breathe some life back into me. Dressing in a pair of shorts and a tank top, I amble down the stairs for dinner. I scarf down on the beef stew Mera made, refilling my body with all the nutrients lost in today’s session.
With a full stomach, I slip into the library and lose myself in a few books, before I start to get drowsy. Folding the edge of the page I left off on, I flip the light switch, bathing the room in darkness before heading down the hall. Movement in the sitting room catches my attention, stopping me in my tracks. There, standing in his same place as usual is Creed. He stares out the darkened window, his reflection looking lost in thought. Part of me wants to walk right past him and forget he ever existed. The other part of me wants to do the exact opposite.
As quietly as possible, I lower myself onto the sofa and stare at his broad back. He’s such an intimidating man, even from behind. He exudes power even in the silent, calm moments such as these.
