“Enough.”
“Did you know about my personality disorder?”
“Nobody did. We just thought you needed to start over. We followed your lead.” Travis tucked a stray hair behind my ear. His fingers lingered, then traced along my jaw to my chin. He dropped his hand to my hip where it burned through my thin T-shirt. “I do know that whatever comes our way, we can handle it.”
I listened for any sign of the Dozen, but all I heard was my own heart. My head was clear. I shook the shoebox. “Did you always keep this in your grandpa’s attic?”
Travis flushed. “Actually, no. I kept it in my truck, waiting for the right moment.”
“Like right now?”
“Like forever.” He smiled in a way that made my stomach flutter and held out his hand. A sliver of emerald stone dangled on the end of a silver chain. It had been carved into a tiny feather. “I made it for you. Happy Valentine’s Day.”
He slid it around my neck and clasped it for me.
Tears stung my eyes. “Thank you, Travis. It’s beautiful.”
“Not as beautiful as you.”
It was my turn to blush. “You were here on purpose, in the attic, waiting.”
Like a spider. Before I could stop myself, I leaned forward and kissed him, barely brushing his lips with my own. I rested my hand on his chest, feeling his strength beneath my palm. His kiss deepened and stole my breath away. For the first time, his kiss brought only pleasure and no pain. I really was in charge.
When he pulled back, I leaned unsteadily against the wall. “Long ago, I think you promised me a trip to Emerald Lake.”
“You remember that?”
I closed my eyes and watched the parade of memories. I nodded. “I think I finally remember everything.”
He scooped me into his arms and carried me to my room. He dropped me on the bed and knelt down before me, wrapping my legs around his body. I shifted to bring him closer. Eye to eye, we gazed at each other. I would graduate in a few months and finally be free to live my life.
With the Dozen once again tucked away and all my childhood secrets laid to rest, I was ready for the next step. “Wonder if it’s too late to rewrite that paper.”
“What paper?”
“Utopia.” I nuzzled my head against his shoulder. “I think I just found it.”
Travis caught my hand in his. His fingers twined in mine, a spider with too many legs.
“I love you, Travis Stone.”
He smiled against my lips. “It’s about time.”
* * *
On the bedside table, my cell phone buzzed with an incoming text.
Happy Valentine’s Day, Gemi. Forever and Always, Jimmy.
Acknowledgements
A novel isn’t written overnight. My journey began forty-odd years ago when my parents instilled the love of the written word in me. With the help of public libraries and Scholastic book orders, my childhood was filled with stories. For that and so much more, I thank my parents. You encouraged me to read well beyond my years—a gift that showed me a world of vast possibilities and beautiful diversity.
And diverse it was. After moving from large cities where I was a minority to dinky towns the size of thimble, with rolling hills, cornfields and conservative Midwestern values, I met and fell in love with my high school sweetheart who has supported my incessant need to write ever since. Allowing me to pen stories at odd times and about odd things wasn’t in our wedding vows, but it should have been because the life of a writer is nothing close to normal. Thanks so much for putting up with me and my quirky habits—including my desire to raise a large family.
Without my four kids I would be lost. You’ve filled my life with so much joy—and novel fodder—that I will never be able to repay you. Thanks for learning to be independent and supportive. Not many kids make their own dinners while encouraging their moms to disappear for an entire month each year. Mine not only do, but they also cheer me on in my crazy pursuit of penning 50,000 words in thirty days each November.
And a good thing, too, because Whispering Minds is the product of National Novel Writing Month. To that end, I must thank the Sexy Turkey Hatters of 2009. Without you, I never would have written 56,000 words in twenty-six days. Your cyber presence in my life the year before was the inspiration for this novel—as in, “What if the people I was talking to didn’t really exist?” I hope you find a couple of our NaNo dares within the pages. They are for you.
Another amazing thing that happened in my writing journey that year was my discovery of The World’s Best Online Writing Site. Yes, AqentQuery Connect, that’s you. I met many wonderful friends on AQ’s community who have supported me in my writing endeavors, particularly the Class of ’09, Step by Step and Kid Crits. Your input into my writing has been priceless.
Other critique partners of note for Whispering Minds are: the fearlessly honest, Mindy McGinnis; R.C. Lewis; Kay Elam; and Riley Redgate. Thanks so much for your expertise. My beta readers—Jamie Risner, McKenzie Sommers, and Shanda Bogstad—were of no less value in helping me catch plot holes and character inconsistencies. Thanks a bunch for taking time out of your busy lives to read some pretty rough drafts.
Once my novel was whipped into shape, I got busy with the professional side of writing. A big thanks goes to my editors, Laura Carlson and Matt Sinclair. You showed me that despite the drafts and revisions of yore, I still had a ways to go in creating a novel worthy of gracing America’s nightstands. Your belief in me and your encouraging words about my writing were some of the most magical experiences of my life. In addition, Charlee Hoffman earns my undying gratitude for the beautiful cover design, while R.C. Lewis—in all her OCD wonderfulness—created the sleek format you hold in your hands.
Ironically, my novel never would have made it to the bookshelf without the support of my past literary agent, Stephen Fraser. Despite amicably parting ways so I could spread my wings to embrace all genres of writing and not just humorous chapter books, Stephen’s enthusiasm for my writing in general gave me the push to pursue publishing when I was ready to trunk my keyboard for good.
And speaking of trunks, thanks a billion to Elephant’s Bookshelf Press for taking a chance on me. I am honored to be part of your close-knit family of writers.
Which reminds me, my journey wouldn’t be complete without circling back to family. Writing is such a solitary experience that it’s easy to lose focus. Thanks to my siblings for donning their pompoms and helping me keep my eyes on the goal. I wouldn’t be where I am today without you.
Lastly, I would like to thank my extended family, in-laws and friends for taking the time to ask about my writing and listen to long-winded answers about the ever-changing publishing business. I have truly been blessed to share my writing journey with so many wonderful people.
Forever and always,
Alexandra Tys O’Connor
Book Club/Study Guide Questions
1. Gemi has been called an unreliable narrator by some readers because she can’t relay everything that is happening to her due to her blackouts. However, others may contend that she does relay her story in a factual manner—at least those portions she is aware of. What do you think and why?
2. To that end, aren’t all narrators unreliable because they relay the events of their lives through their own filters? If so, what does that say about us and the way we view our lives?
3. Gemi’s parents each have secrets of their own—her mother’s affair and her father’s part in the accident and sexual abuse allegations that took Jimmy away from the family. How did their denial of these events exacerbate Gemi’s inability to cope with the loss of her brother? As individuals or as members of a community, how have you seen denial hinder healing?
4. Granny, Clarence and Travis go to great lengths to let Gemi cope with the tragedies in her own way—by suppressing the memories altogether. Were their good intentions misguided or should they have forced Gemi to face her blocked childhood? Why?
5. How did their interact
ions with Gemi affect her mental health?
6. Often in life, we assess others through our own experiences and see them the way we want to see them, not necessarily the way they are. Which characters, if any, knew about Gemi’s multiple personality disorder? Does knowing or even strongly suspecting that somebody needs help—whether from abuse, drug use, mental health, etc—put responsibility onto our shoulders? Explain.
7. Some readers are appalled by Collin’s unethical behavior. While he represents an extreme case of unprofessionalism and criminality, his part in the story highlights the vulnerability of certain populations. What other elements of this story can be particularly damaging to those with emotional and social vulnerabilities?
8. When does Gemi understand for the first time that she has multiple personalities, and how does she deal with it?
9. Near the end, Gemi says, “There was nothing wrong with me. I was a whole person made up of separate parts. Psychologists called it the id, ego and super ego. They named emotions and called them Fear, Hate, Love and Compassion. I called them by different names.” Is her assessment that we all have different alters to a certain degree right? If so, how might they manifest in real life?
10. The ending is ambiguous as to Jimmy. Some believe he is alive, while others are relieved he’s dead. What do you think?
11. Utopia is the concept of a perfect world. Gemi argues that Utopia is impossible to achieve because one person’s happiness often impinges on another’s. Is it possible to balance the wants, needs and beliefs of everyone ever, or is Miss America’s dream of world peace impossible on even the smallest of scales? And more to the point, how can we live in an imperfect world and still find happiness?
Coming in 2014
Winter's Regret
Final Volume in the Seasons Anthologies
Table of Contents
Title Page
Chapter 1
Chapter 2
Chapter 3
Chapter 4
Chapter 5
Chapter 6
Chapter 7
Chapter 8
Chapter 9
Chapter 10
Chapter 11
Chapter 12
Chapter 13
Chapter 14
Chapter 15
Chapter 16
Chapter 17
Chapter 18
Chapter 19
Chapter 20
Chapter 21
Chapter 22
Chapter 23
Chapter 24
Chapter 25
Chapter 26
Chapter 27
Chapter 28
Chapter 29
Chapter 30
Chapter 31
Chapter 32
Chapter 33
Chapter 34
Chapter 35
Chapter 36
Chapter 37
Chapter 38
Acknowledgements
Book Club/Study Guide Questions
Whispering Minds Page 22
