“I’d like your blessing to marry Daisy.”
His fingers continued to grip the pen as he stared at me, still like a predator that had its gaze fixed on prey. He was brilliant and followed things quickly, but this still took a moment for him to process.
“I know it’s quick, but…I just know.”
Silence.
“She just moved in, but I want more than that. When you find the right person you want to be with, why wait? Your blessing and approval mean a lot to me because I’m not just marrying your daughter, but becoming a part of your family—”
“Of course you have my blessing, Atlas.”
Oh, sweet relief. I released the breath I was holding.
He grinned. “You thought I’d say no?”
“I thought you might say it’s too fast. We’ve only been together for a couple months—”
“I should have asked Cleo to marry me sooner. The science says you know how you feel about someone within the first twenty-four hours. If you love them, you love them. Compatibility…that might take longer. But couples that are together for years before they get married…I think it’s unnecessary.”
“Well…when I first met Daisy, I didn’t care for her.”
He chuckled. “Then it means even more because you still want to be with her.”
“True.”
“When are you going to ask her?”
“Actually…I already did.”
His smile faded.
“It kinda just happened…in the moment. I meant to ask you first—”
“I agree with my daughter when she says that the practice is archaic. For a suitor to ask for permission from her father…sounds like a transfer of property. She’s an independent, successful adult. She doesn’t need my permission to buy a home or a car. Why does she need my permission to spend her life with someone? Could you imagine if Emerson asked Cleo and me if she could marry Derek? It’s ridiculous.”
No wonder why Daisy was fierce and opinionated. Because her father raised her to be like him—not a sheltered girl. “I agree with that, but your opinion still means the world to me.”
The smile returned. “I know it does.” He left the desk and came around to embrace me. His arms wrapped around me, and he patted me on the back. “Congratulations. I know you two will have a long and happy life together. It does please me that my daughter has picked a good partner to experience it with.”
“Thank you, Dr. Hamilton.”
He pulled away and patted me on the arm. “Come on, you can’t call me that anymore. It’s Deacon.”
“Sorry…it’s too weird.”
“It’s more weird to hear my son call me Dr. Hamilton.”
A slow breath filled my lungs when I heard what he said, when I felt the fatherly affection that I’d missed. I would always miss my family, but it hurt a little less…having someone who loved me unconditionally. Once you lost that kind of love, it never happened again. That was the harshest thing about losing them. To know that no one would ever love me the way my parents did.
Until now.
When I came home, Daisy was there, working on her laptop. Without turning away from her screen, she greeted me. “Hey.”
“Hey, baby.” I set my bag on the couch then headed straight to the fridge, grabbing a beer and twisting the cap off. “So…I asked your dad.” I walked to the dining table and stared down at her.
“Yeah?” Her eyes flicked away from the screen. “I’m sure he was thrilled.”
“He was.”
“So, I can finally start wearing my ring?”
“Yes.”
“Good.” She turned back to the screen.
“Everything okay?”
“Yes.” She looked at me again, a different look in her eyes. “Why?”
“Call me old-fashioned, but I think a woman should kiss her man the second he walks in the door…and he should squeeze her ass.”
A grin came over her face. “Yeah, you’re right.” She got to her feet and circled her arms around my neck as she kissed me.
My hand squeezed her ass like it was supposed to.
It was a good kiss—but it didn’t quite have that same fire.
She turned away and headed to the kitchen. “What should we make for dinner? I mean, what should you make for dinner?”
I came up behind her, my beer still in hand. “You sure there’s nothing wrong?”
“Yes.” She continued to stare into the fridge. “I’m just hungry. You know how I get when I’m hungry…”
18
Daisy
We were supposed to go to my parents’ place tonight to celebrate the engagement. I hadn’t told my brothers yet because I wanted them to be surprised when they came over. My mom didn’t tell my dad about the pregnancy because she wanted me to have the opportunity to tell him myself. Plus, it would put him in a weird position with Atlas, whom he already cared for like a son before we were together.
I needed to talk to him about it for a couple reasons, not just because he was my dad.
So, I left work early and went to his facility in New Jersey. When I checked in with his assistant, I asked them not to tell him I was there and allow me to wait in his office. Since I was his daughter, they let me do whatever I wanted.
I sat in one of the armchairs and texted him. I know you’re busy right now, but can you meet me in your office? Don’t mention this to Atlas. I wore my engagement ring now, the heavy diamond immediately becoming a part of me.
I’m coming, sweetheart.
I knew he would come running the second I needed him. That was how he was. Even a research project that would probably earn him a second Nobel Prize wasn’t more important than me or my brothers.
The doors opened behind me. “I’m here. Everything alright?”
I got to my feet and faced him, surprised that my mother could keep a secret like this for so long. But she was the best secret-keeper I knew.
His dark eyes shifted back and forth as he looked into mine, his arms rigid at his sides, his chest still because he didn’t seem to need a breath. “You’re scaring me. Don’t scare me—”
“I’m pregnant.” Dad was impatient because he didn’t understand pauses, even though all he did was make pauses. When it came to me, he needed information as quickly as possible. Otherwise, he jumped to the wrong conclusions, his worst nightmares.
He finally took a breath, like he was actually relieved by that news. “Sweetheart…you scared the shit out of me.”
“I’m sorry…but I need help.”
He studied me longer, catching up to my thoughts quickly, knowing exactly what I was afraid of. “I know a really good obstetrician in the city. I’ll get you in today. I’ll also reach out to the hematologist again. We’ll do everything we can, Daisy.”
I gave a nod, my hand absentmindedly moving to my stomach.
Dad stared, like he didn’t know what to say.
“I haven’t told him yet.”
“I assumed.”
“He’s going to be so angry…” I lowered myself into the armchair in front of his desk, feeling weak, scared, not myself at all.
Dad kneeled on the rug in front of me, keeping us at eye level.
“We’re really happy right now, and I just don’t want to ruin that.”
He gave a slight nod in understanding.
“He’s just going to tell me this isn’t going to work, and he’ll be so upset. I didn’t feel pregnant until I took a test, and all of a sudden, I feel this person inside me. And now I understand…why it’s so hard to lose them. I just don’t want to go through that…don’t want to make him go through that again.”
He released a sigh and dropped his gaze.
I stared at my dad, my eyes watering, waiting for him to do something to make me feel better. “Dad…?”
He took another breath. “This is hard for me…because I can’t help you. I’m helpless. My mind, my degrees, my experience…can’t fix this for you.”
I guess a pa
rt of me expected to come here and he’d find the solution in an hour, to uncover something that everyone missed, within the snap of his fingers. That was how it’d been my entire life. I’d get stuck, and he’d have the answers.
He finally lifted his head and looked at me again, this time taking my hand in his. “We’ll talk to the doctors and see if there’s anything that can be done. But if not…that doesn’t mean this can’t happen. There could be a million reasons why it didn’t work in the past, but only one reason for it to work this time.”
I nodded, feeling his hand in mine.
“Come on.” He got to his feet. “I’ll take you to the doctor now.”
“You haven’t called—”
“I don’t need to call.”
Like he said, he got me in right away.
The two of us met with Dr. Jamil, someone else my dad had gone to medical school with. They talked like old friends, like no time had passed, and he was eager to assist my father in whatever way he could.
“The reason we’re here today is because my daughter’s partner has a rare blood disorder. He believes it’s the reason he and his previous partner had every pregnancy result in a miscarriage.” My dad sat across from him, speaking to him like they were colleagues trying to help a patient who wasn’t in the room.
But I sat there, my ring on my finger, my heart heavy.
Dad continued. “Is there anything that we can do to ensure that doesn’t happen?”
Dr. Jamil considered it. “This is a complicated case.”
“I know,” Dad said. “I can bring a hematologist into this.”
“So, it’s been confirmed that the reason for the miscarriages is because of the blood disorder?” Dr. Jamil looked at me.
I was on the spot, a deer in the headlights. I was always the doctor, never the patient, and it sucked to be the patient.
Dad looked at me.
“I’m not entirely sure,” I said. “But he did tell me that every time they tried, he had a chromosomal abnormality…so the fetus would never develop.”
Dr. Jamil gave a nod. “So, it might be the blood disorder. There could be another explanation for it, a simple genetic anomaly.”
There was nothing simple about this.
“The best way we can figure out exactly what’s going on is to draw from the fetus and test what we see. We can see the progression of the stages, see everything that’s going on, but that has risks. Every time we do that, it could cause serious harm to the fetus…and a possible miscarriage.”
“Then we aren’t doing that,” I said immediately. “What else can we do?”
He gave a slight shake of his head. “Unfortunately…nothing. We have to wait and see. We have to hope.”
I dropped my gaze because that was not the answer I wanted.
My dad’s hand went to my shoulder. “Sweetheart, even if we had the answers, it wouldn’t matter. Science can only go so far before—”
“There’s God. I know. I just hope he’s here for this…”
When I came home, Atlas was already showered and ready to go to my parents’ place to celebrate.
We weren’t going anywhere. I had canceled it.
“Hey, baby.” He left the couch and came forward to kiss me. But something on my face must have changed his mind because he stilled. “I knew there was something wrong.” He glanced down at my hand, as if he expected the ring to be missing, that I changed my mind about being with him.
I was afraid he was the one who would change his mind.
“I need to tell you something…”
He took a step back, like he needed space without even knowing what the problem was. His hands moved to his hips, and he stared at the floor for a second, gathering his bearings. “Alright.” He lifted his chin and looked at me again, his eyes braced for impact.
“You can’t get mad.”
“Fuck…this isn’t a good start.”
“I’m serious, Atlas. You’re going to want to get upset, but the last thing I need right now is for you to explode and storm out of here. You need to stay calm. You need to be positive.”
His eyes narrowed. “Okay…you’re freaking me out. Be positive… People only say that—”
“Just be calm. I need you to be calm right now.”
His voice raised. “How do you expect me to be calm when you’re talking like this—”
“Just do as I say. Take a couple minutes if you need it. Breathe in…breathe out.”
He clenched his jaw in irritation.
I waited.
He paced for a minute, dragging his hand down his face, forcing himself to get out his anger in silence before he came back to me. The annoyance was still in his eyes, but he forced it to abate, closing his eyes and breathing. When he was finally calm, he opened his eyes and looked at me.
Here we go. “I’m pregnant.”
There was no reaction for a second or two, and then he drew a deep breath. A very deep breath. He took a step back, his eyes immediately forming a thin film of moisture, reflecting the TV behind me. He looked away, but his breaths came and went, quicker, deeper, so emotional that he didn’t know how to process what I’d just said. But when he spoke, his voice was quiet, deeply steady, a direct contradiction to the way his body behaved. “Atlantic City.”
“Yeah…”
He took another breath, his eyes on the floor.
“I was on the pill, but then I stopped taking it and…I wasn’t thinking.”
He continued to breathe hard, like he was about to hyperventilate.
“I’m not storming out. But I need space.”
Disappointment hit me. “Atlas—”
“I’m sorry.” He walked right past me and headed to the elevator. “I just…I need some time.”
19
Atlas
He opened the door and looked at me like this was the last thing he expected.
“I’m sorry… I didn’t know where else to go.”
He obviously knew why I was upset because he didn’t ask any questions. His hand grabbed my shoulder, and he stepped aside to welcome me inside. “You don’t need another place to go. You’re always welcome here.”
Mrs. Hamilton silently excused herself from the living room, abandoning her laptop on the couch, her glass of wine on the coffee table.
It should have been strange to run to my fiancé’s family for comfort, but it didn’t feel that way.
He guided me to the couch and took a seat beside me, his hand gently moving across my back.
I’d come all the way here, but now I didn’t know what to say. The walk here cooled me down a bit, the air hitting me in the face and lowering my temperature. When she’d told me…I didn’t know what to do.
It was a nightmare.
One that I had to relive over and over again.
When we got back together in Atlantic City, I didn’t think about being responsible, asking if she was still on the pill. The thought didn’t cross my mind, not when I was so happy to have her back.
But I should have asked.
I should have slowed down.
I shouldn’t have left her in the first place.
“This is all my fault…” I closed my eyes, the sorrow like a bucket of ice water. I’d have to watch Daisy go through what my ex-wife had gone through, but this would hurt more because I loved her more.
He continued to rub my back. “I took Daisy to see a colleague of mine. Said there wasn’t anything we could do unless we puncture the amniotic sac. Daisy declined. I agreed with her decision because in the end, it doesn’t matter.”
“Because she’ll have a miscarriage anyway.”
His hand stilled on my back. “No.”
I turned to look at him.
“That’s not what I mean.”
“I went through this three times—I know how it ends.”
“Maybe this one will end differently—”
“It won’t. Stop with your annoying optimism. It doesn’t make me feel better. And if it d
id make me feel better, it would make me feel worse later. So just…shut up.” I immediately regretted what I said. “I’m sorry… I’m just being an asshole.”
He dropped his arm and rested both on his knees. “It’s okay to be an asshole sometimes.”
I shook my head. “Not when you’re trying to help me.”
“I’ve been practicing medicine longer than you’ve been alive. I’ve seen a lot of perplexing things. People are told they have no chance to go into remission…and they just do. People who get cancer but somehow beat the disease even after they refuse treatment. Sometimes…we can’t understand everything.”
“As much as I would like that to happen for us…it won’t.”
“Daisy is a different person. Maybe your ex-wife was the one with issues.”
“She has two daughters, so I doubt it.”
“Maybe the two of you together couldn’t make children, but with different partners…you could.”
No. This wasn’t a fucking fairy tale.
“Did the miscarriages happen in a specific trimester?”
“The first. Could never develop past that.”
Deacon gave a nod. “Well, it’s been a month.”
“And there’re two more to go…”
“Maybe she’ll get there.”
I dropped my gaze because I couldn’t even allow myself to think about it.
“I’ve seen stranger things, Atlas.”
I was silent.
“I’ve seen bigger miracles.”
“Please…just stop.”
He turned quiet, staring at me.
“I just…can’t get my hopes up. It will destroy me if it doesn’t work out. It’ll hurt so much more than all the other times because there’s nothing I’d want more than to have a family with her.”
His hand returned to my back, and he rubbed it again. “I know, son.”
“I…I don’t know what to do.”
“You need to be there for her. You need to be supportive. And I know this is hard, but you need to be positive.”
I shook my head.
The Girl Who Always Wins (Soulless Book 13) Page 15
